Blogging. It is a concept that perplexes and frightens me. Just throwing your thoughts, opinion, even personal inner monologues out there for any stranger to see contradicts every doctrine, rule and mechanism of defense I have carefully constructed over my lifetime to protect my fragile ego. Not to mention being baffled that anyone would give a flying rodent's haunches what I thought of anything. As a chronic introvert, to me , blogging is the equivalent of emotional cyber-streaking.

Nevertheless, Gossamer has thrown down the gauntlet for us Mizaharians to submit blogs. Since I respect Goss, and I can only grow from facing my fears, I scoop up said gauntlet and hereby submit my first blog, ever.

So, as a once-popular Jon Lovitz SNL character used to say "Get to know me!"

I am flawed. Not terminally, but thoroughly. I can also shine. That is not a boast, for what causes me to shine inevitably comes from what others have poured into me. My family, my friends, my God. I try to remember that everyone has flaws and everyone can shine. I certainly have witnessed the flaws and shining here. Not so much in the wonderful characters that are created, or the stories that are told, though they surely can and do portray these traits in play. An unlikely find for me was a core group of people outside of play that, though most have never met in person, seem to be close friends. They do not hesitate to share their weaknesses, pain and frustrations within their personal lives. Honestly, my heart has broken for some of you. I wish that I you could see the great potential to shine. Likewise, I have seen others lift up and encourage those who need it. I have even seen some take action to help those in need. I have seen forgiveness at work. To me, discovering those kind of relationships behind an RPG forum was surprising.

I am an introvert. I hesitate to share myself. It is not because I don't want to, but it is a strong reluctance driven by a lifetime of self-protectionism (sounds like a certain benshiran I know). If any of you are like that, you know how hard it can be to open yourself up, to anyone. I cannot promise that I will bare my soul to you, but I have to say that there are some here I can call friends. We may never meet. In fact, I may never stand in the same hemisphere with some of you. And as I told one of my Miza friends, "I will let you down, and you will let me down." That is a fact of dealing with humans. I hope when that time comes, we will all be able to come out shining.