Consider your point of view, I am sure you do it often enough that it should come naturally. Now, humor me for a second as you hypothetically place yourself in a group of people. Imagine that this group is working on a very important project. You have devised this fantastic, bombastic, scholastic, elastic idea. Even better, everybody concludes "Holy hellfire Mr.Get Thefout, thats an amazing idea!" You sit back with a smug grin on your face, glad that for once your idea made it through the incomprehensible cacophony that is the river of understanding. Hells yeah, I finally made it across. I rock. A month later, your team mates have come up with a product that makes no sense and has nothing to do with your idea. The idiotic product fails and you lose your job because guess what, it was your idea. What do we have here? A team of doltfish? As much as I'd like to think so, its more likely that there is a breakdown in communication somewhere. It is so common for us to get the gist of an idea and then jump to a conclusion. Sometimes this is great! Other times it doesn't really work. Its a fast paced world we live in, Mr. Get, the faster we can reach comprehension of a subject the quicker we will accomplish our goals. This leads me to my first topic for this quick rant/do it yourself guide for communication, 1) Slow down hotrod. I am sure you would love to be done with us as soon as possible, but we need to be sure you actually understand what it is we are trying to convey to you. Getting ahead of yourself if an excellent way to miss details, which is where the devil lives. As unique and stunningly intelligent you are, some of our brains are extremely limited. We cannot multitask, it is not how our lovely computers are built. We can rapidly switch between tasks, yes, but we cannot multitask. The longer you spend thinking about how you are going to solve the problem at hand, while the people who gave you the problem are still speaking, the more information you miss. 2) Listen to me, no, seriously, listen! I hate it when people don't listen. This ties in with getting ahead of yourself, but it is slightly different. Actually listening to what someone has to say is an amazing ability. My business teacher once told us, I've only had one boss that I liked, and he was a total prick. But he had one of the most admirable traits I have come across in a long time, he knew how to listen. Not just ordinary listening, he would close up whatever he was doing, ignore phone calls, and hang on to every word you had to say for as long as you were speaking. When you said something to him, you KNEW he understood. Don't just sit there and idly pick at whatever, showing someone that you are listening makes the entire process go faster. Nod your head, ask for clarification, everything! Do not interrupt, don't put them on hold. Not only does it reassure them that you aren't ignoring them, but it ensures that you don't commit #1. 3) Emotions = Failure. This one is short and sweet. Don't let your emotions inhibit your ability to comprehend a message. Listen, THEN get pissed. People experiencing extreme emotions will most likely warp the message, or not listen. 4) Keep an open mind. Its irritating, when someone refuses to consider something because of a stance they have already chosen. Faggots are bad and there is nothing you can do to convince me because I'm a pasty white conservative, and enjoy being pasty and white and con and servative. Its like stabbing yourself with a hair dryer, going through all the trouble of explaining something to someone just to have them say "Lolno". It is hardly a different story when hearing something you have already heard either! I myself am guilty of this, but you never can be quite sure when somebody will surprise you with a new detail. If nothing else, you'll have reinforced your understanding. Now that I've whined about understanding and receiving messages, lets reorient our wrath to those conveying the message. 1) 'Scuse me, what was that you said?" Of every rage point I will list, I am guilty of this by far the most. PEOPLE NEED TO HEAR YOU. If you speak too quietly, nobody will hear you. This is so bloody obvious, but still we mumble on. Then people get angry at us because they don't understand what we are trying to say, and then the entire situation becomes a giant mess. 2) Umm, its just a verbal pause. Not really a big one, but its still nice to not have to listen to 50 ums. I once made a tally sheet of the "umms" my friend made during a 10 minute presentation, the count was 73. 3) Look before you leap off that building. When you just spout out "LAWDY LAWDY ___ SAVE US ALL FROM THE SINNAH" when in a religious debate, not only do you look like an ignoramus but you are inhibiting everyone. When you have a thought, consider it a bit before you scream it out with the passion of two lovers on honeymoon. Think before you speak. 4) Avoid being accusatory you bloody moron! Using terms like "you" evoke a more emotional response than terms like "I" or "we" or "him". Its all in the pronouns baby. Think of it this way, You have a problem. or I have a problem with that. One places the fault on yourself, the other places it on another person. If you are a good listener (see above) and the person feels as if you are their confidante, they will be more than happy to help you fix YOUR problem This is not even the start to a complete list, there are many more things to be said about effectively communicating. Entire volumes in fact. This article does not even touch on body language, management theories, psychological aspects, or anything else like that. Anyway, ten cookies for whoever tells me how many rules I broke during this rant. /rant |