Fook of Hex: Survival

by **Hex** on April 25th, 2010, 6:16 am

Feeling Dragged Down

I'm trying to save someone from drowning, they're conscious too but they won't respond, they won't kick their legs, they won't thrash their arms. They just lay there and I'm drowning too.

They sit down on the bicycle and I've explained how to turn the wheels by pumping the pedals. But they sit still and won't move their feet, they won't exert the energy required to veer down the road, they won't even try. They sit in a slump and cry about how they can't and how they're not good enough; watching them makes me question whether I can ride a bicycle myself.

Sometimes all your efforts to change somebody are completely out of your control. They slip through your fingers, do things you don't want them to do, and lie to your face. How do you stop from degenerating in the shadow of someone who is hurting themselves? How do you turn the other cheek when you're a witness to their self hate? How do you get them to see reason and to make important changes. When do you know they're being real and when they're being fake. How do you teach the blind man to see, the limp man to walk, the villian to love?

If they don't change, how do you go on, how do you hold your head up, how do you justify your efforts so that you can come out of the rubble saying "I did my best". How do you stand under the pressure of a silent hammer beating you to a pulp. Do you run from the monster, from the nightmares and the shadows? When do you let go, when do you say enough is enough.

This is how I'm doing it.

Boa - Duvet

And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I have lost it all

And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame that I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candle lit smile that we both share
And you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing

I am falling
I am fading
I am drowning, help me to breathe
I am hurting
I have lost it all
I am losing, help me to breathe

Cardigans - Erase/Rewind

Hey, what did you hear me say
you know the difference it makes
what did you hear me say

Yes, I said it's fine before
I don't think so no more
I said it's fine before
I've changed my mind
I take it back

Erase and rewind
'cause I've been changing my mind
I've changed my mind

So where did you see me go
it's not the right way, you know
where did you see me go
No, it's not that I don't know
I just don't want it to grow
It's not that I don't know
I've changed my mind
I take it back

Alanis Morrisette - Not the Doctor

I don't want to be the filler if the void is solely yours
I don't want to be your glass of single malt whiskey
Hidden in the bottom drawer
I don't want to be a bandage if the wound is not mine
Lend me some fresh air
I don't want to be adored for what I merely represent to you
I don't want to be your babysitter
You're a very big boy now
I don't want to be your mother
I didn't carry you in my womb for nine months
Show me the back door

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to be the sweeper of the egg shells that you walk upon
And I don't want to be your other half, I believe that 1 and 1 make 2
I don't want to be your food or the light from the fridge on your face
At midnight, hey
What are you hungry for
I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights
I don't want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

I don't want to live on someday when my motto is last week
I don't want to be responsible for your fractured heart
And it's wounded beat
I don't want to be a substitute for the smoke you've been inhaling
What do you thank me
What do you thank me for

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at 10 past 6
Well I already know that you'd find some way to sneak me in and oh
Mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it's too much to ask for and I am not the doctor

Sia - The Girl You Lost To Coccaine

I've stuck around, through thick and through thin
You cannot deny, I've always been in
But I've watched you stand, still as a snowman
But I don't see you change, you're always at meltdown

Yeah I've been your crutch, your smell sight and touch
Yeah I took you home when you've drunk too much
But I can't survive, with you by my side
See I'll never get laid, while I'm running your life

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate

So just cut me loose, learn to tie your shoes
There's somebody here, I'd like to introduce
So look in the mirror, look for the glass
'Cause you're not my problem, you are my last

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
Yeah I am a girl with a lot on her plate

No I just don't wanna, so I'm walking away
There is nothing that you can do I will not stay
No I don't need drama, so I'm walking away
I'm just a girl that you lost to cocaine

Madonna - Fighting Spirit

What you're gonna do when your love is gone
Who you're gonna play when the game has ended
Where you're gonna go when the bird has flown
How you're gonna play when you're all alone

Keep the fighting spirit of love (x2)

What you're gonna do when you're on your own
What you're gonna have when you've got no place to call your own
What you're gonna try when your cover's blown
How you're gonna fly when your wings are broken

Keep the fighting spirit of love (3x)

Don't let it get you down
Keep the fighting spirit and turn your head around
Don't let it take you in
Keep the fighting spirit and you'll begin again

Keep the fighting spirit of love (4x)

Coldplay - Everything's Not Lost

If you ever feel neglected,
If you ever think all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost,
Everything's not lost,
When I'm counting up my demons.

There's always one for everyday,
With the good ones on my shoulder,
I drove the other ones away.

If you ever feel neglected,
If you think all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
Hoping everything's not lost.

When you thought it was over,
You could feel it all around,
Everybody's out to get you,
Don't you let it drag you down.

Cos if you eve feel neglected,
If you think that all is lost,
I'll be counting all the demons, yeah.

Singing out oh yeah (3x)

Everything's not lost,
Come on yeah, o yeah, come on yeah,
Everything's not lost

Fook of Hex: Survival

Who is online