(written on Thursday, March 11th)
How can a single day be so happy? How can someone spend a week or more in a daze, a mixture of sadness, boredom and hopelessness and then suddenly jump from the bottom to the top of emotions? Anyway, it’s happened to me. Today.
Actually the day didn’t start out that good (failed the maths exam), but recently I’ve been taking delight in translating Latin and Greek texts more and more. It’s so exciting, the epic tales of Homer as well as the scientific descriptions, although it seems they’ll be about medicine for a while now. I’m perfectly fine with that though. It’s amazing what those ancient cultures already knew! It makes our culture pale in comparison, because although we have better technologies we haven’t come far ahead. It’s all thanks to the middle age ...
Anyway, I did Latin homework in the English lesson, because our teacher had been absent. Then I smiled about my Ancient Greek teacher’s incredibly inspiring interpretation of the Odyssey – it’s the part of Odysseus’ crew being enchanted and transformed into pigs by Kirke. He has pointed out that many elements of the whole Odyssey have symbolic character as well which means for the Kirke story ... men are pigs? At least those did behave like pigs – before being enchanted. Then I ice skated ... hadn’t been doing it for a while, because the location is only open at Sundays. Of course, they open for school classes during the week. The advantage was that we had more space for fewer people. It was heaven ... and a bit of hell at the same time, because it was cold and I wasn’t used to the following exhaustion anymore. I’ll definitely return this Sunday!
The best part of my Thursdays ALWAYS is the double psychology lesson with that incredibly funny and competent professor. I’d guess that she’s in her fifties, her hair is of a beautiful white I’ve never seen before, and when she wears skirts (which she often does) she seems to move like a dancer. Maybe it’s just my imagination, hehe. I have a crush on several of my teachers, but I like her the most. The current topic is psychopathology, the part with all the psychic illnesses which most of us find very interesting. So this double lesson we read a few extracts from a book about depression and the borderline personality disorder and then she did her usual speech of explanations and funny examples including a lot of exaggerated gestures and ‘woah’ sounds and other things like that. She always manages to draw the audience’s attention with her gestures and her speaking habits. It’s beautiful and interesting to watch her talking and explaining the topic in a lively and interesting way. She makes psychology come alive. I believe that she’s the one who has really strengthened my idea of studying it. Whereas her husband who is our other psychology teacher (there is a required and a voluntary subject named psychology) has directly told us that at university you learn a lot of dry and daunting stuff when it comes to psychology.
After getting on the train on and turning my iPod on I got to thinking ... and for the first time in one or two weeks I felt truly happy. Sometimes it’s the little things that matter ... You transform them into a bigger picture that is beautiful as a whole. There are many things I like, so many scientific themes that are interesting, but today I’m just sure that I’ll study psychology first and foremost. I’d be interested in learning another language with an exciting past such as Japanese or Chinese; I’d be interested in learning about Asian cultures or human cultures in general. However, psychology is something that has been with me for a long, long time, maybe more than I noticed at that time. I’ve always been watching, observing other people and myself and human behaviour and have been trying to figure out why people are acting just like they do. I can read in people’s faces, can read their gestures and study their habits and make guesses about their thoughts and feelings ... I think usually I’m right. If people tell me their zodiac sign, I immediately know one or two characteristic personality traits that almost everyone of that sign possesses and suddenly everything they say and do makes sense to me.
I’m really proud of that ability of people reading. And today, on said train, I remembered or even realized for the first time that it’s that what I’ve always wanted. Knowing what others think has always been some kind of mysterious gift for me, something I admired and strived to achieve myself. I think I’m on the right way with psychology. It’s something you have to think about, something you have to understand in order to work with it and something sophisticated which is the epitome of a dream occupation for me. It’s a job that pays well and includes listening to people. Many of you have surely noticed that I’m more of a listener than of a talker – but I hear many things. But the two most attractive consequences are the gaining of power over and harmony with others. It sounds weird, but I feel some strange kind of control when knowing about and understanding other people’s mindset. At the same time it helps me to get along with them with as little conflict as possible. I really think that this is a worthy goal.
So ... the moral of the story? Be interested in a variety of different topics until you find what you like best and then try EVERYTHING to make a living off of it. I’m sure that it’ll pay off in the end if you work hard enough and never give up. Also, it’s never too late to learn something new you’ve always wanted to know or do something you’ve always wanted to try out. Just DO it before it’s too late. You can do it. Life is good, and the world is so beautiful that you have to seize every chance of doing and learning new aspects. Even if it looks awkward, even if you think you’re too old or too fixed on something else, even if ... Just cross every ‘no, because’ out and replace it with a ‘yes, because’. Saying no doesn’t count, because nothing is impossible. Do it just for the sake of doing it.
I think this is what you owe the world and who- or whatever created manhood – and especially yourself.