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http://www.mizahar.com/forums/blog/Ryalas/re_life_how_short_is_r-291.html |
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| Author: | Ryalas [ September 2nd, 2010, 5:24 am ] |
| Blog Subject: | Life, how short is. |
This is my first blog i have ever done so it will prolly suck but hey...i do need to talk about this. oh and this will most likely be a rant or stupid to most people... My mom has breast cancer...and as of right now...she is dieing the specialist has given her less than a month to live and ive known this for a while now. but i am a pussy and a dick ever since i moved out of my house and here to college i have not spoken to my mom we had a fight the day before i left and i said things a son should never say i told my mom she was a failure as a mother that it was her fault on Christmas i attempted suicide. That once i leave for college she will never see or hear from me again that i hated every moment i speant in that household with "a crazy psycho bitch who doesn't understand how fucked up she is raising her children" and i intended on keeping it that way i deleted her number from my contacts blocked her from Facebook did everything i could to keep my own mother..the woman who gave birth to me and stood by me even those times i didn't think she did out of my life forever. it took a story on the internet to knock some sense into me i finally called my mother. at 1 am she picked up her phone as soon as she saw it was me..after everything i said to her..after ignoring all her phone calls, all her messages everything my mom still told me she loved me. now i know everyone is told "watch what you say to someone it may be the last thing you tell them" it is true..i was afraid my mom wouldn't pick up that phone..that she would ignore me and she would pass away with me telling her i hated her and she wasn't a fit mother. i was given the chance to tell my mom im sorry and hell..less than 12 feet away from my girlfriend i broke down and cried when i hung up that phone realizing that tomarrow i could get a call "jake...its justin..mom...shes dead" and that scares the living shit out of me. but tonight i also realized...to those people like me who think they hate there family. who like me count down the days to thwhen they can move out and move on. don't be in such a rush with my income.. chances are the last time ill actualy see my mom...was the day i told her i hated her. everyday tell them you love them (your parents) even when they piss you off beyond belief or they are pissed at you before you go to bed or before they leave anywhere tell them you love them, tell them without them you would be nothing. I love you mom |
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| Author: | Cheshire [ September 2nd, 2010, 5:38 am ] |
This doesn't suck. I know how it feels (sort of). I have always hated my dad and I too was almost driven to suicide because of his "terrible parenting". I remember when he went into the hospital for his diverticulitis and wishing he would die. Then I talked with some friends the day before father's day and we all talked about our relationships with our dads and i noticed that even though he was not the best dad in the world he really did try in his own way. We still don't get along all the time but I am happy he didn't die. I went from telling him that I hated him and writing him off as a father to slowly giving him a chance. I know it is hard and obviously much harder for you. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you. |
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| Author: | Elhaym [ September 2nd, 2010, 5:52 am ] |
Hey man, you know... just like us, parents mess up all the time, especially with their kids. I don't know anything about your or your situation other than what you've said here, but I really am glad you've had the revelation that you speak about in your last paragraph. You did the right thing calling her. Know that times will be hard and when things get bad, people will tell you to remember the good times. They will say that it will help make it hurt less. And you will think that they are idiots, and nothing can make it hurt less, and that not even time will heal your wounds. I hope that when those times are upon you, you will have the strength to carry on with your life and realize that no matter how hard it seems... good memories, time, and the support of your friends and family will get you through everything. Please be well, my thoughts are with you. |
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