Today started out like crap and progressively got worse. In between there was a few good spikes but nope, it ended up even worse than it started.
I won't say what happened that make it such a horrible day, but I will say that I'm very hurt and upset right now. I've been self conscious since I was very, very young, and what thin, little wall of confidence I've built has slowly been trying to grow. But it keeps hitting these things that like to prevent it from becoming stronger.
Pieces are falling off because I've been knocking down facades and barriers while with my boyfriend. It feels good to be my true self, but at the same time it makes me very vulnerable. I'm not a confident person at all, and I really envy those that are. I envy a lot of people, and I don't like feeling this way. I used to be strong, even if it was false. I sort of miss that.
...I sort of don't, though. I wouldn't miss it at all, if I just didn't get hurt so easily.