So I apologize for my first blog post being kind of weird, but after not getting a night of sleep due to fear, what else could you expect? The night before last I had a really horrible nightmare that this random guy hit me in the head with an ax after telling me he wanted to smash my brain, and unfortunately, I felt when it hit. I mean, when I woke up, I felt as if I had an ax lodged in my head. Now, I know that dreams are dreams, but it was way too realistic and painful for me to simply forget and move on. I couldn't be comfortable last night without facing my bedroom door, and got only maybe an hour of sleep, on and off. I'm tired but not sleepy, and already laid in bed from 12 to 6, so here I am now. Not only that, but the application I wanted to turn in to the University I want to attend is kind of expensive, and I'm tight on money. So I asked my mom if she could help out, and she said she doesn't want to because I don't know if I will get in. So, do I never apply simply because it may not work out? I don't take a chance? And I'm still endlessly searching for a job. Frustrating isn't even able to describe what I feel. If I have to wait to start college, how am I going to get a job? My high school record is horrible and I regret it, but unless someone has invented a way to go back in time, there's nothing I can do about it except work harder towards the future. On a side, slightly happier note, I finished a doodle/sketch/coloring of Vizyous. I have a drawing tablet, but until recently wasn't very good at using it. My graphics program and myself seems to have adapted to it, though, and I'm happy with the results. It could be better, but hey, it's a decent portrayal. |
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