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Warning ~ Strange Mood by Malia on December 6th, 2009, 11:22 pm
Okay, now it's official. Since I have forgotten both username and password of my Myblog account, Mizahar will be where I'm going to blog from now on. I remember that I used to produce late night entries that were way too pessmistic and depressed and often a bit strange, but then I need a place to voice all that crap that my brain comes up with. Now that place is here. Nice, isn't it?
It may sound a bit senseless, but at some weekends this strange mood strikes me. I wander around at the net, never staying at one place, never doing anything (like posting or writing up important ic stuff) and getting a feeling of utter boredom. This feeling grows and grows until it keeps me awake for a long long time and then I usually end up going to bed after midnight and awaking at 10 or 11 am which is very late for me!
Haha, it's indeed senseless.
Sometimes (at the weekends, mostly) I wonder whether I should join another RPG community which provides something new to me, or create a new character. Two or three characters were created during such recent late-night hours - two characters I didn't dare to introduce into a RP environment because I'm afraid that they would steal too much time.
Maybe I got a bit obsessed with what Jen told me about how having a staff position and a PC account was more than enough. Still I wonder ... why am I bored at those late nights? Should I just go to bed? Or try to do something useful and then go to bed? Or really divide my attention between more RPGs so that I get some variety of RPing?
I hope that some of you can understand what I mean. Actually I've never heard of anyone who experiences something similar, but there's still hope.
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The Sending by Sorian on January 6th, 2010, 2:11 pm
A truth could be scratched out from the honest landscape of life, of its frivolous necessities and selfish contradictions.. For the smallest minute of heaven we spend on earth, we pay in ghastly stipends without qualms.
A surrendered ambition to fleet into the mist covered trees crumbles, to escape this collector’s harsh taxes on our poor beings, all but reduced to the wishful thinking of a couple of artists who vowed to disappear not too soon.
Alone I’ll charge into the moonlight emanating your silhouette, and crash against the softness of your departing warmth. To hold on to the home we’ve built on lofty skies, I’d be willing to fall apart over and over again.
And so I shall.. The parting ceremonies ring dry but true to my senses. With every wicked drumbeat it shakes my roots, like a frail leaf hanging on a storm-ridden tree.
The heavens are falling, and the days are morose.. Everything rich has been rent asunder with those necessities. Finality has drilled in the difficult facts that make us mortal, caving in like the soft brown earth from above.
When twilight comes, we lay to sleep.. Pass into the judgment of those we seek to find. All is gone, and those which remain, remain indeed.. To keep faith till obscurity engulfs their dreams.
Original written: October 3, 2008 |
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Getting to Know Shane by Drask on May 31st, 2011, 5:30 pm
Hello, Internet! Welcome to my weekly blog!
While I had originally planned for this to be a daily blog, I realized how boring my life was and decided to just have a weekly blog. HAD I done a daily blog you guys would get stuff like "went to movies, watches some tv". Not very interesting. Therefore, every Tuesday you guys can expect me to post on this blog, and since I have more time to work on blog posts they should be much more elaborate and descriptive. My only fear is that I may be late on a current event that happens on wednesdy and I don't get around to until it's already old news.
Also, some of you may be wondering why I'm doing Tuesday, here's why: Since it is after Saturday and Sunday I'll have much more to talk about AND it'll be more relevant. I didn't pick Monday because that's my "Weekend Recovery" day.
Now before I begin blogging (Well, I guess technically I am already) I thought I might tell you guys a little about myself. For safety reasons my real name will not be used.
My alias is Shane Micheal Blackridge III, or Shane for short. I'm 16 years old, and a sophomore (Junior when I get back from summer vacation) at Bending Oaks High School. It's a rather small private school with about 50 kids in the whole school, and teachers are called by their first name. Very laid back, and very fun. Isn't easy, mind you. I was born in a military hospital at Fort Hood, and eventually made my way up into Irving in the course of 14 years (My mom moved a-lot). Sibling-wise I have 2 half brothers: Ryan and Ranger, and one *almost* step sister: Kaelah. My interests are writing, photography, photo manipulation, and Wolves.
That's basically a brief summary of myself. Not too fancy, I know. Now that that's out if the way my next entry will officially kick off my blog!
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The Future In Spring by Malia on March 13th, 2010, 2:48 pm
(written on Thursday, March 11th) How can a single day be so happy? How can someone spend a week or more in a daze, a mixture of sadness, boredom and hopelessness and then suddenly jump from the bottom to the top of emotions? Anyway, it’s happened to me. Today. Actually the day didn’t start out that good (failed the maths exam), but recently I’ve been taking delight in translating Latin and Greek texts more and more. It’s so exciting, the epic tales of Homer as well as the scientific descriptions, although it seems they’ll be about medicine for a while now. I’m perfectly fine with that though. It’s amazing what those ancient cultures already knew! It makes our culture pale in comparison, because although we have better technologies we haven’t come far ahead. It’s all thanks to the middle age ... Anyway, I did Latin homework in the English lesson, because our teacher had been absent. Then I smiled about my Ancient Greek teacher’s incredibly inspiring interpretation of the Odyssey – it’s the part of Odysseus’ crew being enchanted and transformed into pigs by Kirke. He has pointed out that many elements of the whole Odyssey have symbolic character as well which means for the Kirke story ... men are pigs? At least those did behave like pigs – before being enchanted. Then I ice skated ... hadn’t been doing it for a while, because the location is only open at Sundays. Of course, they open for school classes during the week. The advantage was that we had more space for fewer people. It was heaven ... and a bit of hell at the same time, because it was cold and I wasn’t used to the following exhaustion anymore. I’ll definitely return this Sunday! The best part of my Thursdays ALWAYS is the double psychology lesson with that incredibly funny and competent professor. I’d guess that she’s in her fifties, her hair is of a beautiful white I’ve never seen before, and when she wears skirts (which she often does) she seems to move like a dancer. Maybe it’s just my imagination, hehe. I... [ Continued ]
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Breakdown Again by Malia on November 1st, 2009, 4:05 pm
Sometimes everything is fine, and I’m all happy and cheerful and joking all over the place. I’m surprised how good everything goes, how perfect most of my countless little problems work out without me doing anything special. I’m just doing what I’m doing all the time, and the flow of life is perfect – perfect harmony. But that state isn’t endless. Then, one day, I always wake up and think: This is going to be bad. And then the bad days start. They are always different, and of different length. A few hours, two days, a week … and, if I’m not paying attention, weeks and weeks and weeks. I think my record was one or two months, last spring. It was horrible. My grades are one of many visible proofs. Since then I’ve learned a lot. To be particular, I’ve especially learned a lot in the past two weeks or so. A book, it’s called “The Artist’s Way”, showed me the way and did the majority of the work. The rest I did without thinking much about what I was doing. I just tried it out. I’m big when it comes to trying things out, exploring new challenges and projects that look like fun. Maybe I’m even bigger at lying projects down again and deciding that they carry too much responsibility and seriousness for me. I like to have fun – but I don’t like if that fun becomes a regular duty. The ‘you have to’ hart makes it stale and grey. Not fun anymore. I wonder why it’s always this way. I’ve started twice as many things as I’ve finished, likely more, I’m just guessing now. But why does that have to happen to me? Everything is perfect, and then … everything vanishes somehow. I’m ignorant. I mean, in theory I know that the world is neither perfect nor working on it’s own, without any help from me. Working with that principle is a lot more difficult for me. I guess I’m just rambling anyway, haha. I don’t want to be that way. It also is a problem that I let myself fall into that bad mood – and then I turn on some sad music, read the blog of a very lovely, but sometimes very d... [ Continued ]
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