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Built high in the massive branches of Taldera's bloodwood forest, The Spires is a city crafted by the peaceful and scholarly Jamoura. Considered a haven for scholars and sages Mizahar-wide, The Spires is a mecca of philosophy and science that draws people from far and wide with its promise of deeper thinking and higher reasoning.

[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Zandelia on February 7th, 2013, 10:36 pm

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Zandelia watched Ana close her honeyed eyes, kept her gaze upon the other woman’s face for a few chimes longer so as to make sure she was actually giving an honest attempt this time. When she was satisfied that this was the case, observing the deepening of Neilles’ breathing and the lack of nervous fidgeting, she closed her own eyes and darkness became her world. She let her consciousness fill that void, trying to permeate it entirely and become it in a very tangible way. She had heard it described many ways, but she had no word for it. Out of all of the titles she preferred ‘Unity’ or perhaps the more esoteric ‘Oneness’ was more appropriate. A small crease across her brow to signify her concentration she let herself melt into the darkness of her eyelids. It was a slow process and she never quite knew how long it took.

Longer than I always hope… the thought came into her skull, unbidden and disturbing her slightly, setting her back a few moments of effort.

She felt calmer in her current state, her breathing deepening to several seconds long in both inhalation and exhalation – the more relaxed and fluid her mind became the longer each breath cycle took. It was partially a conscious process, the ritualizing of her breathing, and partially sub-conscious now. At first she had had to focus most of her attention upon maintaining it but with practise it was starting to become more natural – not enough to not need concentration though, so her meditative state was always at risk of collapsing without warning. As she kept up her breathing, in through the nose and out through her lips, she could feel the energy within her – the Djed.

Such a sweet thing, such a tempting little light of warmth… her mind betrayed her again and almost forced a growl from her throat.

Calming herself she began to manipulate it once more, as she had done previously in the meeting with Neilles. She let it trickle through her, pulling it up to begin the flow towards her skull and then directing it with a nudge here and there. It was laborious and she did not have much control over its movement, it did what it wanted and she merely directed it. She had heard of masters in the arcane art having full control of their powers, such stories only reinforced her knowledge that she was far from a master. Still, she worked with what she had and waited for her Djed to coalesce inside her head at its own pace. She did not understand why it was harder to move it to her skull but easier to elt it flow back – she still puzzled that at night sometimes, practising in her bedding.

Ah, ready now…

She opened her eyes and the world was a blaze of colours of varying hues, shapes and types – each one of tier of meaning and she had yet to decipher a tenth of them she was sure. She sat there for a few moments, relaxing into the environment as she assimilated the world in all its splendour. She knew that, with time, she would be able to read it all but for now she was restricted to merely basking in it and comprehending it in a fuzzy way, glimpsing only the edges of the puzzle. It was dazzling and tempting, the colours teasing her with their mysteries. It was an effort not to look into the eye of the storm but she knew better, she had done that before and lost her sight for a few, terribly fearful Bells. She focused her attention upon Ana then and could see the Djed flowing within her, thin strands of brightest gold – almost as powerful as sunlight.

Beautiful, she is beautiful…

It was a laced network, covering Neilles’ entire body and weaving within the flickering colours of the woman’s aura as if it was separate, as if it did not adhere to the same rules. As she watched she could make out smaller details, a few hints of gathering points within the woman’s body that flickered in and out of existence – as if they were not real. She tried to increase the amount of Djed in her head, filling it to the brim now out of curiosity and hoping that it was not one of the most foolish mistakes of her life. Her senses kicked into overdrive, her sense of smell adding to her abilities for the first time – she had not known she could sense with her smell as well as sight. As wave after wave of scent sensation assaulted her she managed to see nodes of golden power at key points within Neilles’ body.

By the Night’s Mistress!

Her sense were overwhelmed and she only just managed to cut off her flow of Djed before she fell into Overgiving. Sweat stained her skin in little pricks as Ana gave a scream of her own, raking at her eyes almost. Tiredly Zandelia grabbed the woman’s wrists and stopped the display before cupping her face and making her look at Zandelia’s face – the closer an object was the better the focus and quicker the recovery – she had learnt that the hard way too.

“Come of Neilles, it’s okay! It happens the first time, it’s impossible to prepare you for it. It’s like burning a portion of skin so that it is forever number to further searing. Focus on my eye, focus!” she told the other woman, forcing her to try and see through streaming eyes as guilt rushed through Zandelia’s chest bitterly.

“The important thing is that you managed to do it!” she giggled a little, “you actually managed it you little petching genius you! I learnt something new myself, but we’ll save that for another day I think. Let’s just rest for now, you can ask me any questions you like” she finished, panting and resting her forehead upon Neilles’ until full sight returned to her friend.


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[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Ana Sol Starris on February 9th, 2013, 10:24 pm



The pain was unlike anything Ana could have felt before, it was blinding, every movement she tried to perform with her eyes felt like tens to hundreds of daggers making their way into her skull. Opening them was a chore, she saw outlines of things around her, but for the most part- white, as if she had stared into the sun for far too long. Shutting them, she could feel tears of pain roll down her cheeks, but she was not crying like a baby, she was shaking, and trembling, breathing heavily to keep such emotions in tact. By the divine, what had just happened? Was that suppose to happen- did that mean she passed? Ana felt the thoughts race through her head as she would feel strong hands grip her, and pull her forwards, Zandelia's voice rung in her ears.

She was demanding that Ana focus on the older womans one good eye, the small girl flailed a bit with her arms and clutched the black robe at her chest and felt comfort radiating from the older woman. Ana's eyes opened once more, her head jerking from side to side trying to find Zands eye without moving her own eyeballs too much; she felt the forehead against her own and saw the outline through the sharp white of her vision.
"What-what was that?!" Ana choked out, staring as deeply as she could.
Breathing as if she had run a marathon, she began to panic and hold onto Zandelia; she could see the outline of an eyeball, and within chimes the iris, and then partially the face until she felt another wave of pain wash over her eyes for trying to force her sight back to a working state.

Ana groaned and leaned her head back, shutting her eyes and finding a respite in the darkness of her mind, but if only that awful stinging, rolling sensation would go away. Ana muttered to no one in particular, possibly a plea to the gods, and at the same time not:
"Oh petch me" She whispered as quietly as she could.
What manner of trickery was this? This pain! Ana felt her body tighten up with the sensation again, she tried to redirect her conscienceness elsewhere to her body so she wouldn't have to feel that awful stabbing in her eyes. Her arms shook and her legs could say the same for the arms, but the position of which both women were in was awfully uncomfortable, so Ana with her own strangeness decided to do something about that.

She climbed into Zandelias lap and sat there in the older womans crossed legged manner, though Ana couldn't see very well now, she used the shapes of which she felt to gauge where she was, or if she was actually sitting. Though her sight had been affected, that didn't mean her center of balance had been, so she hugged Zand, and let her eyes squint open. Finding that indeed her sight was returning, but was blurry, and still whited out for the most part, she could see outlines of things of her surroungings through her watering orbs and thought to herself that, that was the most unpleasent experience yet. Worse than being punched in the gut for sure.

"Coulda warned me it woulda hurt y'know," Ana muttered, not too darkly, but with some trace of irritation; the tone transformed into one of joy, or relief "I did do it.. I did it? That was suppose to happen?" Ana questioned, taking in that what Zand had said about the seared flesh... Would it be less painful next time? Just like...

Ana's thoughts swayed from that thought with a burn in her cheeks.
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[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Zandelia on February 28th, 2013, 8:12 pm

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What happened next coalesced in a matter of seconds for Zandelia, though it took quite a number of moments in terms of actual time she was sure. Neilles had suffered pain and surprise but so had Zandelia, the facets of possibility within her talent just made a little bit clearer to her. It was not an easy thing to process whilst also trying to quell the tide of Djed that taunted her, whispered to her to continue and possibly destroy herself in the process. The mental and physical struggle caused sweat to break across her brow as Neilles grappled herself into her lap and pushed backwards into Zandelia’s frame, as if seeking comfort there. It was almost comforting to know that someone at least saw her as a woman worth being with for more than her body and her abilities. She had shielded Neilles from both for now but time would irrevocably change that one day, she knew that all too well.

One day I will have to use her, but not now. Not today her fracturing mind managed to tell her, the singular thought itself helping her to focus upon it and bring a semblance of order to her psyche over the next few chimes of ragged, terse breathing.

“Would you have done it if I had told you how painful it could be my dear?” she asked the other woman in her lap, wrapping her arms around her in a gentle embrace, an embrace of comfort she hoped, “no, you had to do it without knowing otherwise you’d have been too worried to try and succeed. And yes, you succeeded” she managed to get out of her lips, more a whisper in Neilles’ ear than anything else as her own heart rate began to return to normal.

She spent the next few chimes in the warm proximity to the other woman, bodies tightly melded together and breathing patterns slowly synchronizing in their actions. Her chin rested upon her partner’s right shoulder as she simply enjoyed the closeness. It was strange, to know that she shouldn’t feel the desire to go further but not caring that she did. It was almost as if the ghost of Revy had entered Neilles at some point in the near past. She spent some time then wondering if the last woman to kiss her with passion beyond the carnal still lived or not – she hoped so. She sighed and pulled Neilles tighter by her waist as silence reigned for just a little longer.

“Yes, it was supposed to happen. Did you think you could see the pictures behind the world and not get hurt a little? It is a dangerous thing and one to be respected. In time you will learn to use it for your advantage, or those of your friends. For now, though, I think you have had enough” she continued, hating herself a little for even implanting that suggestion of future complicity at such a moment.

She had regained her composure now, though she was still inwardly rattled whilst at the same time resolute about the future exploration of her talents. She doubted that either of them would be up to much more that day in terms of Auristic exploration at any rate, it did not seem right now – it would be like dangling success in front of Neilles and then replacing it with incompetence. No, she would not do that to the other woman despite the fact she might need her gifts one day. Instead, she resolved she would learn something of Neilles’ magic, the art of changing things physically – it intrigued her. She did not doubt she would not succeed, but to at least learn of how it worked would be a boon.

“Talk to me Ana, tell me of your own ability. Why would you even seek to change what you are? Who taught you?” she asked, at the same time immensely curious and immeasurably tired.


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[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Ana Sol Starris on March 2nd, 2013, 4:24 am



Ana opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off quickly.

Something akin to being dissapointed washed over her thoughts, Zandelia's reasoning was crystal clear but insulting at the same time; it annoyed Ana to be told that she wouldn't have the guts to continue with something even though it may be rather painful. If she had known beforehand that it would have been painful, she could have braced herself for the unwelcomed sensation. To say she would have shyed away from learning an ability that would allow her to open so many more pathes in the future, that she could not handle a bit of pain to go along with it. The assumption made her mad, furious, if she were to go so far; but just as usual, she had to bottle all that anger up and put a cork to it just to remain safe.

It shook her bottle, and made it fiz terribly inside.

Her hold tightened on Zandelia, fingers clutching at the black silky material around the older woman's person. The silence edged its way through to cling to her form, shook her up, and pryed at her mental constraints. Twitch, twitch, went a toe in a boot as her mind would fire up alive and chaotic, sitting in one positition for so long was unnerving. Not to mention the throb within her head, and sting behind her eyes didn't help her patience; blinking them rapidly, she brought a hand up to rub the opticals irritatingly. Her vision was still very blurry, but at least close up details had returned, and sunlight was not the sole cause for her pain.
"I woulda' done it even if it involved pain.." Ana muttered her two coppers worth of opinion towards Zandelia's statement.

Whether or not the older woman would hear that, and acknowledge the truth of her words was entirely up to her. Ana had no control over that.

There was more to say, a rant to be precise, but she held her tounge long enough for Zandelia to inquire about morphing- at least Ana could go about in a round-about way of explaining why she had wanted to learn said magic. Maybe not so much around the topic of Wrenmae, knowing full well that any mention of him might be detrimental to his health later on- she had already screwed up once. It would not happen again.

"I wanted to learn so I could become stronger, I don't care what the price is, or what it takes, but I'll be strong.." Ana seethed and bubbled underneath her skin, worse thoughts within her mind, her voice a whisper of anger "..I will be one day, and then everyone that doubted me will be put to shame.." Her reasoning was cut up, sliced, scissored and a good portion hidden- she had given a very vague explanation of why she wanted to change herself. She didn't notice it though, her mind was alive but her body was slowly falling behind the speed of which she was thinking, her mouth couldn't keep up with all her thoughts.

She completely ignored Zandelia's question on whom had taught her, hoping that avoidance of the question would solve the problem.

"I think morphing with practice is useful.. I could become another person, and no one would be any smarter besides me.. I could trick them.."
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[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Zandelia on March 2nd, 2013, 5:31 pm

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From her position in Zandelia’s lap, arms wrapped tightly around her, the feeling of Neilles’ muscles tensing up intermittently was all too obvious to the older woman. The other woman’s hands gripped her wrists all the tighter as her comments seemed to illicit a response not entirely positive from what Zandelia could discern whilst not being able to see much more than Neilles’ head and shoulders from behind. She smiled wryly and wondered if, with her new found sense of growing strength, the other woman sometimes sought out things to misunderstand and create conflict – almost as if argument helped to establish a sense of her newfound self. It was a strange position for Zandelia to be in, a teacher in need of clarifying something for a pupil, it was not one she was overly used to in truth.

I could probably have worded what I said better too, something to learn and adapt to for the future with my plans she mused as she decided to try and soothe the possibly growing ire. Their new bond was not so strong it could not be shattered by carelessness after all.

Her thoughts were further reinforced by the words Neilles muttered under her breath, perhaps hoping she would not be hard in their tired states. She shook her head and blew a few strands of stray hair from her head from her gaze to buy for a little time.

“I did not think that you wouldn’t my dear, it is not a question of desire or strength,” she spoke now, slowly and carefully, “even the strongest of us do not wish to experience pain. If I told anyone that something might hurt them it would interfere with the process of concentration. You would have succeeded but it might have taken days with that barrier of mentality. I meant nothing by it I promise you” she finished, allowing a few moments for the words to sink in and hopefully have an effect of positivity.

“You are already strong dear, even if you don’t know it yet. There is little point to sacrificing everything for something intangible, no one is all powerful really – we all have our weaknesses” she mused out loud after a few moments of thought, “though building one’s abilities is always a good place to start. Just make sure you don’t lose all that you are along the way or else it was all for nothing” she continued gently, hoping to perhaps ameliorate what seemed to be a raging inferno within Neilles by the force with which she almost hissed out her words.

“you will have your vengeance, I can promise you that well enough” she sighed towards the end, wondering just when Neilles had become so angry at the world – whether it was in her past or just recently, certainly she had detected no hint of it so many seasons ago now.

Or perhaps she just didn’t trust me enough to express it, I was busy with other things after all…distracted she told herself, wondering if it would be a clip she would come to regret one day.

“Tell me about it, it sounds very useful indeed. How do you do it? What do you know so far?” she enquired

She ignored the silence upon who had taught her, the very fact she cared not to speak of it telling her enough to deduce some possibilities if not be sure of them. She would learn in time and would see how she felt about it she was sure.


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[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Ana Sol Starris on March 28th, 2013, 4:29 am



"It's not vengeance that I want- Zand.. I just want answers.." Ana replied after a few chimes of silence, her eyes drooped with deep thought as she hugged onto Zandelia like a child with its mother. Violence in itself was not necessary, heck, she could care less if she were the one to kill her father or not- let the plague that takes Zeltiva do away with him. She didn't care, or rather, actually, she did because if the plague took him then she couldn't get her answers from him. There was always the extensive private library he had that she would periodically sneak into when he wasn't home as a child, multiple times just to look at the books, to smell their old moldy, dusty paper that was so carefully handled they could have been the rarest exotics ever. Some were burned, others beyond deciphering, and some were just.. Difficult to grasp.

The small girl formerly known as Neilles had stopped sneaking in when her father caught her, and then brutally beat her for 'breaking' and entering.

A lot of the books looked to be in the form of journals, much like the one which her older brother had given her so many years ago. Leather bound, and metal clasped, secrets inside to be delved into- secrets which Ana had in perfect condition within her memory. Secrets... She would never give anyone, not even Zandelia, and never would she let the same mistake happen again with her brothers book. It was a good thing the physical liability was destroyed now, possibly crushed and descecrated underneath Sunberthian rubble from the earlier Spring seasons massive storm. "If I could make a wish, any kind of wish- one that didn't involve death, in every form it could take.. Murder.. Disease.. Old age.. Being brought back to life.. and whatever else you can think of."

Crawling from Zandelia's lap to sit in front of her, or rather next to her she gave the older woman a very serious look through misty eyes "I would never wish for anything of the sort like that, no matter how painful losing a person was.. because of my father.. Instead I would use that wish to meet the person's expectations that cared for me, and I to them, and I would work to achieve their past goals.. No matter the cost.." Her eyes flicked away, blinking, she pulled her knees up to her chest and fiddled with her fingers and thumbs in front of her legs. Was she crazy for admitting that? Possibly, it all depended on perspective and how one took her words. Death was silly, but serious, however Ana saw it in both lights and accepted it as it was with respect.

"If having to change myself to suit the world is what I need to do, then so be it... and that is why I took such an interest in morphing... It allows me to change myself, without ever taking my true identity away.. I'm still Neilles.. Despite being known as 'Ana', get what I mean?" Ana side glanced Zand for a moment, glancing away to look to the sky and the trees all around them. The snow which covered the ground in small patches, a small shrine to Dira, a place as simple as it could be.. In her memory, but the blur in her eyes made it hard to distinguish certain objects. At least she could see semi-well again. Her gaze went back to Zandelia to dismiss any response she might have had. Waving her hand in the air lightly and frowning, it was just something Ana wanted Zandelia to ponder on.

Not so much as to share, she rubbed her eyes- held the same hand up for Zand to see...and exhaled a long held breath. "Nevermind me, though...Morphing, as I said changes your body.. It can mar your identity.. From what I've been warned about, my green hand is a perfect example of what can happen if you're not... careful." She held the slightly green appendage up, and then appeared to be concentrating on it- it was difficult to tap the inner power within with her short attention span. Surprisingly she had been able to learn at all, it hadn't been easy, and the time had been short when she had done so.. and she had done it without any real proper training, or guidance, she could hardly call Shroud a practiced teacher in the subject.

Bar Shroud's quick explanations, and his own examples, having of used something called 'glyphing' to give her the feel and sensation of how Morphing worked.

"I don't know how I do it... I...think of Djed as..energy.. or power.. and its inside us, that can be tapped, and allowed to flow through the body to where you want it.. If you focus on it enough.. Like.. Waterways, or rivers, you dam the flow up and it stops and disperses on its own with time.. If you open it just a smidge, then you can shape yourself, like clay.." Ana started to struggle with how she was wording her explanation, she wasn't sure if that was correct, or what Zand wanted to learn about "I wasn't given a verbal explanation on how to use Morphing.. It was more of an example, really.. Whats it called, girthing? Gyping?..." She began to snap her fingers repeatedly, shutting her eyes and trying to remember the name "...Glyphing?"
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[Dira's Shrine] Meditations (Ana)

Postby Alric Wilmot on October 28th, 2013, 2:11 pm

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Zandelia
-Grades withheld until CS updated-


Anna Sol Starris
  • philosophy +2
  • Auristics +2
  • teaching +1

Lores: just sitting, bored to death, Auristics (what it is), Auristics (how it works-basic), blinding colors


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please edit your grade request post to reflect that this thread has been graded
"I'm Speaking"
"I'm speaking and using hypnosis"
I'm implanting thoughts using hypnosis
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