[Redd's Scrapbook] My Ramblings

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The player scrapbooks forum is literally a place for writers to warm-up, brainstorm, keep little scraps of notes, or just post things to encourage themselves and each other. Each player can feel free to create their own thread - one per account - and use them accordingly.

[Redd's Scrapbook] ~A Little Note

Postby Redd on November 13th, 2014, 5:00 pm

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~A Little Note

Just a small little note, or reminder to some people that I am no long making post templates for people upon request. I would go into great depth as to why... Because I tend to have a tendency to prattle on. Why? I have no idea. Just that I am no longer making templates upon request. So, if you haven't read the bold red writing on my post template design thread, but you are reading this, then please don't message me asking for something. I do have one request pending, which was made at the start of the month at some point. I will be completing that one soon and then no more. I will probably make a template for "friends," but even those might be rare.

Cheers,
-Redd



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[Redd's Scrapbook] -I'd Just Like to Say...

Postby Redd on November 15th, 2014, 4:06 pm

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-I'd Just Like to Say...

Ya know, with the things that have been happening over this past month, I have learned quite a lot about myself and other people. Stuff that I didn't think that I would ever find out, because ya know I thought that I already knew it, that I knew how some people would react. Truth is, while I knew it, I didn't KNOW it, I didn't fully realize that this is what the outcome would be if this would happen to me. So when shit hit the fan with all of this Venser crap, I certainly found out just what people were like. Even though I knew that it had been like this before with other people, I just didn't expect to think that the result would happen to me. I guess you could say, I got a front row ticket. In all honesty, I should have known that shit would hit the fan this month, for November has never really been a month of smooth sailing for me. It kicks my ass every year.

However, now that shit has hit the fan and people have shown their true colours to me [And I'm not just talking about Venser]. I can honestly say, I'm going to be much much more cautious with who I go, 'Oh hey! I know that person,' cause I have just been given a severe lesson that while I may know what they are prone to do, that doesn't mean that they won't turn on me either. So now I know who I can expend my energy on and who not to. Who to know won't spout shit and who will. I have to say though, that there are a couple of people that I would like to thank, because well, I know I can be insufferable at times and that I can just let situations get a little out of hand when I refuse to stop and take a breather.

Nemesis, Fallon, Avarice, Ricky & Twister. You guys have been great in just helping me keep my head screwed on. Nemesis, for being THE BIGGEST supporter to me ever since I joined the site. You basically took my hand and led me through everything that I presently know. You have even bailed me out more times than I can actually remember, especially when people bailed on me and so, I am forever grateful to you. Fallon, you have been like a sister to me, cause whenever I just needed to rant or get some advice about something, you have always been helpful in that regards. When ever I needed breather advice, you were always willing to lend me an ear. Plus you also make bad-ass templates, one day I'm gunna get you to make one for all of my PCs and then I think, that's where I will be like, 'Yup, I know longer need any more templates.' Lol. Just know though, that I am always here for you if you ever want to also vent.

Avarice, you know how you have one of those friends where you don't know how the friendship began? You were one of those, but then again, it's probably just my memory going, 'Fuck you, I ain't working for you tonight!' Anyway, although I know that you have been busy with your ST stuff and dealing with other people, but right when it counts, you have also been there for me and that's all that matters to me. Ricky! Ya know, you were always one of those people that I saw around, but never really spoke to till Jadlin started plotting with Black. Honestly, I think that's how we started getting along, but ya know, you have always helped me in your own little way too. You gave me your opinion on things that I wasn't entirely sure on and I appreciate that, cause you're honest like that. Lastly! Twister, while we don't always talk, you helped me push through on this thing that I was doing. You made me think as to whether I really wanted the position that I was applying for. You gave me good advice about it and I have to say that while I didn't make it, you're advice is still solid, so thank you.

Thank you guys, you are all the greatest and I am especially grateful that you guys held still even when the Venser shit hit the fan. You all are amazing. Of course, there are other people, that are awesome in their own way. Ink, Aoren, Firenze, Lucian, Estrellir, S'Essy, Markus, Inoadar, Pulo, Aventis, Tricky and a few others that I can't think of right now. But you guys have always made me smile in some small way, made logging on to Mizahar worthwhile. So, thank you.

Alright, well I think that I have rambled on for far too long, like I normally do, so I think that I will leave it there.

-Redd


-Thank you...



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[Redd's Scrapbook] -A Notice To You All

Postby Redd on November 21st, 2014, 3:12 am

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-A Notice To You All

So, some of you might already know because you were in chat when I said this, buuuut I now have a job! Yes, I am apart of the employed population and I am as happy as can be! For I have been feeling a little glum about not having a job since January and I can tell you this, I am over the moon! However, that will mean that my activity won't be as much. I will be logging on regularly, every day of the week to be more precise. Although, posts will be much slower starting on Monday next week. My Monday, which will probably be a Sunday for pretty much the rest of you.

I will be very appreciative of your patience in the mean time.

Cheers,
-Redd


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[Redd's Scrapbook] ~Absence

Postby Redd on December 2nd, 2014, 10:21 am

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-Absence

So I know I have been a little absent since my last scrapbook post and it's mostly because work has been super busy. I get up early which means I have to go to bed early to even be functional in the morning. The job is fast paced and is both physically and mentally taxing so I am generally pretty tired when I get home. Hopefully that will change once I adjust but that is what is going on at the moment and the reason why I have been excruciatingly slow at responding.

On a different note, I am retiring Shalita, a ghost character. My muse for her has severely died and I have found it difficult to thread with her. So, I am retiring her, just giving you all a heads up about that.

Anyway, that's all and I must be off to bed, so good night all!

-Redd


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[Redd's Scrapbook] ~Character Development

Postby Redd on December 11th, 2014, 2:38 am

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-Character Development

I have been tethering on the idea as to whether I actually wanted to do this or not. Mostly because over-all, I have come to realize that if I want any of my characters to develop in any way, I'm going to have to do a lot of solos and make NPCs. Why? Because people have a tendency to let me down more often than not. I have retired a character because she was based upon an idea that it could be fun, but then she also developed around another character. When that character left, my muse for her severely flopped and I couldn't write her. I sat at the computer, stared at the screen and the reply that I knew that I had to do. However, I have just lost the excitement that I once had for her and I was just simply disappointing everyone that I was threading with. Which was a total of one person. Yes, I am talking about Shalita Farlay, my ghost character. So, I've retired her.

Now, someone asked as to what I wanted to do with my characters this season and to be one hundred percent honest with everyone, I have no idea. I haven't thought about it. Between work and getting ill, I haven't exactly been having a picnic and so I haven't really thought about it. Someone spoke to me about this SQ earlier today, about how they would treat Redd just like how the others would and I just simply nodded. It made me realize that nothing really surprises me anymore when it comes to disappointments. So what is the whole point of this post? Well, I shall be outlining the character's progress so far and possible developments within the works. A word of warning, progress is mostly just a lot of stunted plots. Well, I will mostly be just doing Redd's Character development so far, cause it's probably the longest out of them all and I don't feel like doing all of them all at once.


-Redd
My number one Gal... The one that I have been struggling to keep above water. She started off living in the wilds, came across a poison crafter and saved him by leading off a bunch of wolves and ended up injured in the process. Then she came across a Symenestra man named Vayl where they developed a light bond and he brought her into Ravok where her wounds were treated. However, they had a falling out when Elias had saved her from a bunch of slavers and Vayl left her behind, the bond being broken in his wake.

When she woke after having suffered a head wound in the process, she woke up in Elias's room, collared. There he used hypnotism and persuasion to make her stay and so, her life as a slave began. In that time with Elias, she had helped him capture a run-away slave and she had even killed a wolf that she had once called a brother to try and gain his trust. However, he had left her behind, collared and she starved. This was because Elias had left Mizahar because he could no longer spend as much time as he wanted to on the site. Miro came across her attacking a non-citizen for food and he freed her from the collar, taking her under his wing. This was where she met Venser Rush.

Redd had been attempting to guard her master's home when this man had simply shoved himself through the door and wouldn't take no for an answer. She lost her right eye for her loyalties to Miro and ended up with injured ribs. In the end, after she had attended an event and where she met Verin, who attempted to return her to Miro, she realized then, that he too was gone. Now, just so you all are aware, Venser and Miro were retired due to... Things happening, so therefore she has sadly changed hands again. Verin Rush is now her master and she has taken a trip with him to Sahova for whatever it is that he needs to do.

What I hope to do is turn the ship around on Redd's mentality. At the moment she is on a steep slope of falling into a depression of sorts. She is a wolf and a kelvic. A kelvic wants to connect and the wolf just wants to serve and find a pack for her own. However, because of her status as a slave, she is mostly ignored by all and so she is finding herself battling emotions of loneliness, rage, revenge and most of all depression. She no longer believes that she is ever going to find a place that she belongs. Instead, the only thing that is keeping her going is her revenge to kill Venser. So due to her status as a slave, she is slowly becoming distant from most things, instead just simply focusing upon her need to kill, for it is the only thing that makes her feel somewhat alive. Redd has also accepted the fact that save for the occasional word from her master, that she will mostly be alone, that she will forever be a lone wolf. At some point I want to change her views... But I'm just not sure as to how I can do that exactly.

Maybe this season, I can have her pull away from her human side, allow herself to delve more into her distant side, to just do as she is told. Then when she is alone, hunting, that will the brief moments that give her life, if only for a moment. I will probably have her obsess over trying to catch a Gibbet Dog. I will probably also have her get pricked by the Thorn Hare and have her obsess over how to kill such a prickly and odd creature, a creature that can paralyze her movements for a moment with just a prick of its thorns. However, that is all that I have for possible ideas for Redd this season. Like, I said, I haven't really thought about it too much.


Cheers,
-Redd
Last edited by Redd on December 11th, 2014, 3:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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[Redd's Scrapbook] My Ramblings

Postby Ink on December 11th, 2014, 2:53 am

Hey Redd,

First I understand how it feels to lose interest in a PC because someone disappeared or retired. But you seem to have missed something important, Verin's plot on Sahova is not just Verin's. In my quests and threads I absolutely do not accept background characters, I plot to fit who wants to be involved.

When Verin announced Redd was coming to Sahova, I was excited. Finally a PC who can really explore the wilds! I didn't make Darin the NPC because of Verin, he is modeled because of Redd's presence. If there had been no wolf presence the morpher would have made less sense. You may not have plots for Redd, but I do.

When you figure out where you want to go with Redd whether that's slavery or freedom, vengeance or a new path just let me know. There is nothing but options available, we are writing fantasy after all!

Ink
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[Redd's Scrapbook] ~Lack of Activity This Past Week

Postby Redd on December 19th, 2014, 7:57 am

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-Lack of Activity This Past Week

Heya Guys!

Yeah, it's just me with another absence post. Although they are many, I just like to keep you guys updated and informed of my activities so then you know that I haven't left you guys completely. Work has been so busy of late, especially considering that it has been coming up to Christmas. So, we have been working over-time more often and I have found out that I now have to do weekend work this weekend, so I am forever grateful to those patient enough to wait for me. I apologize GREATLY, for this. Hopefully things will get better.

I also do promise posts over the Christmas break. I am going to my boyfriend's family home, where some family thing will be happening, but that won't stop me from posting, cause I do need 'me' time. Especially when I'm surrounded by mostly strangers. Sigh!

So all in all, I am forever greatful to the patient threading partners that I have.

- Redd



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[Redd's Scrapbook] ~Dear Kitten

Postby Redd on December 24th, 2014, 12:07 am

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-Dear Kitten

I just had to share this with you all!

-Redd



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[Redd's Scrapbook] My Ramblings

Postby Inoadar on December 24th, 2014, 7:26 am

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Submitted For Your Amusement
I think I have posted this somewhere else on Miz, but your last entry reminded me of it. It fits the general presentation of cats beautifully. :D

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I would prefer you called me "Nolan Parnell"...In fact, I insist.

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[Redd's Scrapbook] ~Self-Reflection & A Confession

Postby Redd on December 30th, 2014, 2:57 am

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-Self-Reflection & A Confession

So, I was going to type a really long scrapbook post about so-called friends yesterday. About friends that you used to always talk to and you were always there for them and vice versa, but now they are not because they have this new friend. A new friend that they ignore you for. I was pissed, to be honest, completely pissed off that they couldn’t be bothered to just say hello to me. I just, I don’t know, I felt hurt and betrayed because this person had convinced me to sign up to this other forum site just for them. So, I typed up a really long scrapbook post and just as I was about to press the Submit button, a voice inside of my head said, ’Is this all for the right reasons?’ I stopped myself and sat back into my chair as I thought over my reasons for typing up the post in the first place and I found the reasons to be ridiculous. I had only typed the post because I wanted to get back at this so-called friend, to show them how it felt to be hurt and ignored by someone that they called a “friend.” So, I simply closed out of the window without posting it, logged off of Skype and went fishing.

I logged on to Skype today and this friend of mine did exactly what they did the day before and the feelings of being hurt and betrayed quickly returned. I turned to my other friend and I completely vented to her, which I feel bad about, because I hate venting to her, I hate feeling like a bitch. She then linked me to Gossamer’s post about Poisonous People. After I read it, I became very aware that I was falling back into past behaviours and I instantly asked her, ”Do you think that I'm poisonous at all?” Her response was, ”Not really. You come across as someone who keeps rolling dice badly and getting snake eyes - bad luck as apposed to poisonous and whoring off it.” Yes, she was blunt and I like her for it. Yes, whenever I get bad luck, I instantly want to vent and I realized that I do whore it off, badly. It made me realize that I was falling back into old patterns, patterns that I had turned away from on this other site. It made me realize, that in my own way, I am poisonous and that I was falling back into behaviours from my dark days, the days that I don’t normally like to talk about because they make me ashamed of myself.

I used to be one very poisonous person, way worse than now in fact. Back in my old role-playing days, the days that I used to do chat role-play in, I had become a glorified troll. A troll that used to put those that tried, down, just to make myself feel better about myself and my current situation. To be like the other top-dogs on the site. My PC, was an elemental goddess that could manipulate any elements available, she was also the daughter to a king and therefore made her a princess, a dark princess that bullied and shunned everyone. Then, one day, it didn’t feel so great, I didn’t like the person that I had become, nor the character that I had made and I left. I stopped role-playing, I stopped acknowledging all of those people that I had only become friends with because they had been the troll that I had looked up to. I picked up a book called, ”The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle and I even got a job. The book taught me much about destructive and toxic behaviours and I strove to become a better person. I started riding and doing stuff with horses, then I started studying a course about them so then I could give back to them, for they had made me a better person.

Now? Now while I haven’t completely fallen back into my old patterns, I realize that I have begun to and I quickly picked up the book that I read before and I started re-reading it. I have realized that I have become a bitter and sour person, something that I really hate about myself. I’m not going to make excuses for myself, because the only person at fault is me. The only thing that I can do, is to change my behaviours, to not be so toxic and be a better person again. I’m going to focus more upon my threading and developing my character, to be more positive towards everyone, be more supportive of others and their plots, and just be over-all a better person to be around, rather than the bitter and sour person that I have become.

To those that I have hurt, I know that an apology won’t make up for the pain that I have given you, so I won’t even attempt to say sorry. Why? Because saying sorry doesn’t fix the things that have been broken. Only by being a better person, can I ever hope to set a better example and prove to people that I am attempting to put my bad behaviour behind me. To be that hopeful person that I had been when I first joined the site and just simply enjoy the path that my characters are on. To just simply have fun and enjoy writing, instead of making it a competition. Because life is just too short to be a poisonous and toxic person.

-Redd



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