Solo Ink Stained Roses

[Taurina]

Late Afternoon of the 1st of Winter 516

"What are you thinking about?” a small, soft voice asked.

“Nothing,” another voice, this one with a thick common accent, murmured.

“No such thing as thinking of nothing,” the smaller voice contradicted.

“Sure there is,” the second voice sounded tired and worn.

“I don’t believe you,” the smaller voice chimed back.

“Try,” the second voice challenged, its accent not as strong when only simple words were spoken.

“Hmm.. No thanks,” the owner of the second voice groaned at that.

“Then leave,” the second voice suggested, the words carrying another challenge behind them.

“I think I’ll stay. Till you answer my questions,” the smaller voice was playful and taunting, as if wishing to grate on the nerves of the other person.

“Why should I? You never answer mine!” the second person was growing more agitated now, frustrated with the constant back and forth with the same small young person.

“True. True.”

A loud release of air from the second person. Silence hung over the pair for several more moments until the owner of the smaller voice finally took her leave. Once the young female had left, the other speaker took a long breath of relief before looking sadly towards the open flap of her tent and out into what of Endrykas she could see from where she sat within it.

“Family,” Taurina murmured now that the listening ears were gone, “I’m thinking about family.”

~

Night of the 1st of Winter 516

Taurina loved the night and not just for obvious reasons. Of course the light of Leth brought on her superior form and the ability to spend many hours on end surrounded by the light of her god, but also, the strange little girl never came to her during the night. It was only during the daylight hours when the Eth was in Drykas form that the girl appeared. Perhaps it was simply because the girl spent her nights within her pavilion, but Taurina was growing more and more convinced that it was because the girl was a figment of her bored and lonely imagination. She was lonelier during Syna’s reign. Her days sprawled out endlessly with no change in sight. The only joy she had been able to find as of late was in her work.

Winter, the season when the ground was suppose to grow cold and life in Endrykas was suppose to get hard according the elders, had arrived and there had been little to no change. The Ethaefal would have questioned if winter had arrived at all if it had not been for the change in her night form’s appearance. White hair had replaced crimson and gold had been washed away by an abyss of black with violet tips. Winter had come or else her appearance would have remained the same. That meant that it was something else cause the rise in the temperature and lack of snow. Perhaps Morwen was just taking her sweet time getting around to all of Mizahar. That could be a reason for the day had only been the first day of winter. The goddess still had time. No reason to give up hope on her coming yet.

Taurina sprawled out in the grass outside her tent, looking up at the stars. The day had been trying as the little girl had come to visit and as usual, asked a plethora of questions that messed with Taurina’s head while answering none of those thrown towards her. Was she real? Was she in Taurina’s head? Taurina tried to remain on an even plane with reality. She had seen the girl with other people last season. Others had interacted with her so that must mean she was real. Correct? Or had those people been figments of her imagination as well? Just passing images to fill in the empty gaps. Taurina bit down on her lip, doubting her earthbound form’s self. That form was weaker in body, perhaps it was weaker in mind too.

Fingers tangled with the blades of half dried grass that sometimes crunched under her weight. Winter had not come, but yet, everything looked as though it was to come any minute. That is, except for the insects. They still swarmed the night with their annoying calls and endless chirping. The Ethaefal was not a fan of that part of the night. The other peculiar thing that had not changed was that it was still warm enough for the Eth to comfortably sit outside during the night hours. Maybe comfortable was not the right word. Sweat still covered her in a thin sheet that made her skin annoyingly shiny. Taurina had come to the conclusion that she could live without the heat even if it meant living in the deathly cold. She was sick of the heat.

Indigo eyes looked up to Leth hanging high in the heavens, looking down on her. Her gaze was pleading and sad. The end of fall had been trying because of the last Zith attack. She had been a coward before that one, but that one had tried her more than the others. When she looked at the sky now it was always with the thought that any glance could be her last chance to gaze upon the white form of her god and the shining stars that surrounded him. She had realized that she could be taken at any moment. Stolen from the place that had somewhat become her home and have her life taken from her. A part of her panicked at that knowledge. She had not found her purpose yet and therefore had not completed it. She used to think that she would hold onto this life until her purpose had been completed, but she was no longer so sure.

The little taste of the Zith she had gotten that night had caused her mind to unravel and create chaos within her thoughts. Perhaps her life now was not as set in stone as she had thought. She had believed in a higher purpose for being here that had to be completed before she passed on once more. Her beliefs were strongly placed on Leth and her fall. Why else would he have allowed her to fall through his realm back to Mizahar? There had to be a plan. Right? This could not all have been for nothing. There were no mistakes. The Zith had messed with that way of thinking. While she had not been taken and put through the trauma others had, she had faced her own mortality and now she was left to struggle with it. The Ethaefal was not ready to die.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Taurina]

In Endrykas, Taurina was surrounded by those with family and companionship in their lives. There were the larger clans, but within them there were pavilions created by one’s family. Taurina had met many who had pavilions by this point and even worked within a pavilion setting, but she had not yet become apart of one. She was a wanderer, searching for her place in Endrykas, in the world, in life. Her soul was restless and lost as she longed for family. She longed to be loved and to feel needed.

Once, Taurina believed, she had had that with Leth and the others in his realm. They had all been one family with one thing in common binding them all together. Their unshakeable faith in their god. Taurina no longer had that makeshift family. Even when she ran across another Ethaefal -which had not happened much in the past three years- there had been no embrace of instant companionship. The bond that once might have once connected them was lost and the memory of it only created a profound sadness. Any contact with another Eth always ended quickly after it started for usually neither could handle that sadness. So Taurina remained lost and without a family to surround her.

The fisherman who had once found Taurina had been a sort of family. He had pulled her from the shore and gave her a place to stay. He had nursed her in the beginning days when there had been nothing but disorientation and confusion. The man had helped her decide on what name to call herself for her true one could not be said with her mortal tongue and he had brought her the journal she now carried everywhere and used as a sketchbook in an attempt to give her something that could grow into a passion. He had, in a way, “raised” her and his death afterwards had been devastating. She had been planning to leave for Endrykas anyway to search for answers, but it had been with the thought that she would always have a home to come back to should things not work out. His death crushed that ability, but it had also freed her in a way. She had no home to go back to and was therefore more forced to make Endrykas her home. There was no safety net to flee back to now and also nothing to hold her back from leaving.

The fisherman had been the last time Taurina had anyone she could call family. Sure she had met people here in Endrykas, some even more than once. She had fought next to these people by this point and learned things from them that she would not have learned anywhere else. There was companionship, but not yet family. She had also met the annoying child who never seemed to let her have any peace. Perhaps the nameless girl could be considered family. A tremor rippled through Taurina at that thought. No, no, the girl was not family. The girl was likely nothing more than a figment of the Eth’s imagination. There was no way that Taurina would consider her family. Perhaps that was brutal and cruel, but Taurina comforted herself with the thought that if the girl was real than she already had a family. She lived in Endrykas after all, she must have some sort of family and pavilion she belonged to. Taurina did not feel so guilty with that thought in her head.

Taurina sighed and turned onto her stomach. As usual her sketch book was out with her, a piece of charcoal shoved between two of the pages. This particular stick of grey color was beginning to grow rather short. It would be time to move onto a new one soon. Taurina did not wish to fulfill that destiny tonight, however, as the only thing she had been able to create lately were wings. She would go to sketch something else and then it would turn into a great membranous wing. Sometimes she drew hands with talons at the end of them as well, remembering vividly how one of those hands had reached out for her. She never drew their faces though. The image of one was so clear in her mind, but she refused to draw it. It would make things too real and too permanent. The battle had been real, but it did not need to be recreated. If she could just lock the memory of it away forever than maybe she could move on with her life. It only she could just forget.

Another sigh escaped the Ethaefal of Leth as she pushed her journal to the side and grabbed hold of her tattooing kit instead. It had been many days since she had been able to create anything with her needles. Everything seemed so dull and bland to her lately. Dull and bland or seeped in sadness with a hint of loneliness on the side. There never seemed to be an in-between even though all Taurina wished to do was move past all this. She just wanted to get back to her life, her art, and trying to figure out what her purpose was in this life. Perhaps all the mental torment was apart of that, but Taurina was not too keen to believe that. Somehow she had mentally skipped the trials and tribulation part of finding one’s own purpose and just wished to skip to the end where all would be revealed. She did not acknowledge that things in real life did not quite work like that. Especially when the power of gods likely played into the equation.

A piece of skin and one of Taurina’s needles were picked out of her little box. She had had an idea during the morning while she was at the Lilacwind pavilion that she wished to try. The day had been filled with tasks to completely and that little girl trailing her all over and asking annoying questions. Taurina had been beat and slept through the majority of the evening rather than stay up and work out the idea during the end of Syna’s reign. All was just as well, it was not like she had much to do during night hours anyway besides work on her art in one way or another. Since sketching was out of the picture for the time being, might as well experiment with some different tattooing technique ideas that may or may not work.

The last things Taurina grabbed from her kit was the jar of blue ink and the small brush she had bought earlier in the day while being trailed by the little no-name nuisance. After all the things had been pulled out of her kit, Taurina closed the box and set the skin on the lid. Her other tools were set on the grass after she opened the ink jar so that she could easily have access to the ink within. The Ethaefal took a moment to breath before giving the sharp nod of satisfaction with her head. Paintbrush in one hand, Taurina dipped the bristles into the ink jar before she began working a simple pattern of swirls onto the skin. This was going to work. Taurina was confident that it would work.

Ledger-1 SM for small paintbrush
-1GM for the animal skin used

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Taurina]

Taurina started out small for she did not wish to seem overconfident. That usual led to things going wrong for her. Instead the brush created only a very simple swirl of ink onto the skin that had one inner loop and a couple small loops branching off the outer rim of the swirl which resembled something close to the Ethaefal’s horns. Before the ink had a chance to dry and just stain the outer layer of skin, Taurina picked up her needle and began to puncture the skin over the pattern drawn in ink. The idea was that if she got the ink in this way less would be wasted and it might even be faster because no time would be wasted with dipping the ink in ink jars and constantly doing it that way. Potentially it could be a cleaner, more sterile way to do things as well because this way there was less of a chance of blood contaminating the ink in the jars. The Lilacwinds were usually pretty good about keeping things sterile, but things happened and mistakes were made. No one was ever going to be perfect.

The needle was driven below the top layers of skin, catching ink as it went down and leaving it behind as it was drawn up. Taurina worked the needle below the skin several times before looking back to see the result of her work. There was no blood of course because this skin was not attached to a living being, but there was also very little ink left behind to wipe away which satisfied the Eth and encouraged her to keep going. Taurina did not linger long looking at the progress she had made, but instead went to work on the rest of the piece. The needle moved as fast as the novice could safely poke it through and draw it up without marring the skin or hurting herself. She wished to stay away from being sloppy and wanted clean lines instead. To create something not worth anyone’s time would do her no good. Though all of her tattoo work, she thought, wasn’t worth anyone’s time. At least, not yet. She needed to get good first.

The distraction of her work got Taurina out of her mind and away from the thoughts that had plagued her. The longing for a family and the nightmare of the Zith were far from the brain when she worked with the needles and ink. Perhaps it was because she had to concentrate so much more with this art form than she needed to with sketching. There was much she did not know when it came to tattooing and while she was learning, which was not with any sort of speed, concentration was key. It was an art form that took patience and a usually, a mentor. Of course, Taurina could practice and learn on her own and not rely fully on those she worked with at the Lilacwind pavilion, but it was easier when they were there to help her and show her what she was doing wrong. What would they think of this method?

The method was not one Taurina had seen Jarorra use before, but perhaps the others had figured it out and used it. Maybe she had never seen anyone use it before because they had found it did not work. Taurina threw that thought out right away as she knew it would not do to doubt herself now. The spiral was half complete and if she wished to finish it before the ink dried than she would need to keep going and also pick up the pace. There was not much time or thought space left for doubting herself as too much focus was needed. Tattooing was good when one wanted distraction from their own thoughts. At least, when at Taurina’s low level it was a good distraction. She could not think of anything else besides the work being held in her hands. Nothing else mattered. The world turned into a fog surrounding her when the needles were in her hands and ink worked to stain her fingertips.

Despite Taurina’s efforts to get the whole spiral deposited beneath the skin, the mini-branching spirals dried before she was able to get to them. The ink she had painted where those were suppose to go had been too thin for this job and she had not timed it right. Had she painted each one on and gotten the ink under the skin right away, it might of worked, but this way it had not given her the desired result. Instead the ink stained the skin and remained dry on the surface of it. Taurina sighed and pulled a piece of fabric from her tattooing kit.

Taking a moment to focus her mind on something else, Taurina conjured up a small ball of res that she then placed on the rag. More focus was needed, but soon the res was transformed into a sparkling sphere of water that then fell apart and soaked up into the rag just as Taurina had wished it to. The Eth then picked up the rag and with her fingers, carefully worked the water through the fibers of it. Once one corner of the rag was good and soaked, Taurina began wiped away at the skin. She wanted to wash off the excess ink to see what she was dealing with. Exactly how well had this method worked? Only one way to tell.

The excess blue ink stained the rag with its color, adding to the already vast array of colors already staining the rag. If many more colors were added the whole thing would be an ugly shade of brown like it already was in some places, but Taurina did not care. It was just a rag meant to clean off the skin and she cared just enough to keep it clean so things remained somewhat sterile. Injal Lilacwind told her once to practice as if she was doing it for real so that way when she was doing it for real things would come naturally instead of her having to change all of her habits. Seemed like a good idea so Taurina had taken the advice and now cleaned everything, worked with the skin as if it was attached to an arm or a leg, and tried not to over-stab the skin since a client would not likely enjoy that very much. It had made for good practice and kept Taurina in check.

When the ink was washed away, Taurina was left with a very spotty spiral. The shape was there, but all the color was not. She had missed spots and left holes so things were uneven and the whole piece left incomplete. Taurina pursed her lips and moved her finger tips over the attempted work of art before bringing it to her face so she could judge it better. The gaps were big and while there had not been much excess ink, not much had gotten under the skin either for there had not been enough ink put on for the art to be created properly. Taurina sighed softly and put the skin down on the box once more. Hands clenched and unclenched as she willed herself not to grow overly frustrated.

“Patience, patience,” was the murmur spoken under Taurina’s breath. Her eyes found Leth and she took a moment to just gather herself in his light. This had been an experiment that had not totally failed. She needed more ink and needed to work in smaller segments. This could be done, it had worked and now just needed to be tweaked to work enough to be a usable method. Another breath was released, shoulders were rolled, and neck cracked. The Eth picked up her tools and set back to work for it was time to try again. Failure was not a viable option.

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Taurina]

A line was drawn by the brush filled with a couple fresh drops of the liquid ink. Taurina move the brush in a spherical shape, but stopped before it could come around to become a full circle. Instead it was a very wobbly painted, half circle. It resembled something much like the outer edge of a dried, crumpled leaf or maybe the edge of a flower petal. Some flowers had petals that looked like that, all ruffled and wavy. The line looked something like that which had not been the aim, but Taurina did not care for she had a goal in mind. Her brush was set aside and exchanged for her tattooing tool. She began tapping the line of ink into the skin, the goal to get as much ink as possible under the top layers of the skin before the ink dried.

Taurina had already messed up her routine of treating practice like it was the real thing. She used the same needle as she had before and hadn’t cleaned it very well. All she had done was wipe it with the same dirty rag that she wiped the ink off the skin with which was very unsanitary and not something she would ever risk doing with a client. She had just wanted to move quickly and not waste moonlight on sterilizing her tool once again. Maybe it was foolish, but this was practice. Things did not always have to be perfectly executed like they would be when she did it for real. Did they? The Eth decided against pursuing that trail of thought.

Because the ruffled, somewhat half circle of a line was not very wide it was easy to move somewhat quickly with her needle to get the ink under the skin. The work did have Taurina wishing she had a chisel with more needles attached to it however. All of hers were single needle ones that had come with the kit when she got it and while technically she could put two of them together and work that way, it quickly became very awkward and hard to do because of the handles. Since she was unskilled on creating her own tools and had not thought herself good enough yet to buy an actual chisel, she suffered through practicing by creating individual dots back to back across her work to make it permanent in the layers of practice skin.

It was a good thing that tattooing ink did not dry as quickly as paint did and it was not like her sketching charcoal where it was already dry. It remained wet for longer than most of the other mediums Taurina had worked with before which was nice because of the painstaking way she had to get it under the skin. Her tiny dots were made carefully and continuously back to back within the boundaries of her painted line. About halfway through the Eth’s hand began to cramp up on her, unused to all this work after too many days of no practice. She scolded herself silently, mad that she had made excuses for her laziness and allowed herself to become so weak. This was the art she wished to learn, practice was key and laziness needed to take a dive off a strider or something.

Taurina wasted precious moments of time to roll her wrist and flex her fingers. Even in the ethereal form gifted by her god, Taurina grew weak from lack of practice. Muscles grew used to things repeated over and over and she had not given them that. Her fears had stolen from her passion and now that she was trying to get it back, she was being punished. Taurina let out a huff and went back to work by telling herself to just work through the pain. She could bear it, it was not much, and she deserved it for she had been lazy.

When Taurina reached the end of her ruffled line, she found the ink there had dried. More silent scolding followed the discovery, but she poked her holes there anyway just to see if the ink would take. She did not think that it would work very well, but it was an experiment already so might as well give everything a shot. The rag was brought out once more, the opposite corner of the previous one used now being taken between the Eth’s fingertips. Another small bead of res was shaped and shifted to water before being worked into the fabric that then was pressed against the detached, cold skin of some dead animal. Excess ink and smudges were wiped away, leaving what had been successfully tattooed of the ruffled line plain for Taurina to see. Lips pressed into a disapproving line. Taurina was not happy with what she saw.

While the line had already been rumpled in shape it was worse now somehow and despite her best effort there were still holes in between some of her work. The line did not blend as one line as it should have but instead looked like what it truly was.. a bunch of little dots pressed into skin by a single needle. The frown that overtook the Eth’s face was deep and angry. This method was suppose to make things easier -or that had been the plan in the beginning anyway- but nothing was working out right. From far away, even she acknowledged, that it did not look so bad, but close up there were gaps everywhere and where she had pressed the dried ink under the skin there was hardly any color left at all. Things were not working out as planned and it felt too much like her life. Nothing was going right there either.

The plan had been come to Endrykas, find some great calling upon arrival, learn how to fit in and become Drykas again. It had not happened like that. She had been disappointed upon arrival and things had not gotten better. No, they had, she was just in a sour mood and did not wish to see any of the good. All she saw was the bad. Bad, bad, and worse.

Leth had let her fall through the crack and his only gift to her was her Ethaefal form and a touch that aged things a day. He had not visited, not made his presence known. He did not come down to explain and give her any revelation of what she was meant to do. Instead he staid high up in the sky, glowing down at her with a light she both loved unconditionally and despised because it meant she was down on Mizahar instead of up with him. Since then she had found the fisherman and he had been a wonderful man who had given her hope of a truly good life with a purpose. The idea to go find Endrykas had been hers, but he had encouraged her to pursue it. He’d told her that if she could not shake the idea than she was meant to go out and follow it. He said that maybe she would find her answers. Then he had died, her only family died and she had had no power to stop it.

Taurina picked up her art of dots needing to be connected. She could likely make it better, paint over it and fill in the blanks, but she did not want to. For once she did not desire to figure out a solution to the problem. Instead she wished to be angry and upset. To fully purge herself of all the emotions bottled up inside of her. She had done it once before, last season during one of the days of horrible rain, but it had not rid her of everything. Her emotions spoke of fears, of a hollowness she could not fully describe. She had tired of the lonely life and the distance she felt between herself and the god she so fiercely believed in. Did he wish her to be alone? Did he wish for her to be surrounded by the people she once belonged too with all their families and never have one of her own? She wanted to do his will, but he was so silent and she was just so tired of being alone…

“Family… A family… I want a family…” tears pricked at the Eth’s eyes as her heart thundered against her words. She did not even know how to become apart of one or where to start looking, but she was desperate to figure it out. “I’m not gonna be alone anymore,” she decided looking up to her god, “I can’t be alone anymore.” She desperately hoped that he agreed.

CreditIdea credit for the method of tattooing used in this thread goes to Khida. Suggested in the grade of "Ink and Water" solo from Fall 516

Common | Pavi | 'Thoughts'

[Rufio]

G R A D E

xp

Philosophy +1
Painting +2
Tattooing +2
Reimancy +1
Cleaning +1
Endurance +1


lores

Philosophy: Facing mortality
Taurina: Not ready to die
Meeting other Ethaefal brings sadness
Painting: Thinner layers dry faster than thick
Tattooing: Pushing undried ink into the skin with a needle
Tatooing: Advantages of the chisel tool versus single needles
Endurance: Self-reprimanding idleness to work through pain
Taurina's Vow: To be alone no longer

If you feel I missed anything shoot me a PM.
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