They were speaking in a way they normally didn’t. It felt raw and painful, as if strips of skin were being peeled back and her muscles and bones were being exposed. It hurt in a new way, a way Kelski wasn’t used to. She felt so… exposed. But simultaneously something else was happening. She was feeling lighter, as if a burden was slowly lifted off her shoulders. This had been something between them for a while now, most of their history together in fact, and because they were speaking of it… Kelski almost felt like they were cutting open a festering wound and letting the fresh air cleanse it.
The words spoken between them didn’t change anything – certainly not the situation – but it somehow robbed it of the power it had been having over both of them being unspoken. Still slightly out of breath, Kelski studied Kynier, not being privy to his thoughts nor how he divided himself neatly into three distinct personalities. To her, he was simply Kynier… a complex gemstone with a lot of faucets. He changed distinctly depending on which way she studied him. And while there were things about him that were absolutely perfect to her, he had a lot of flaws too.
But Kelski was tired. Tired of talking, tired from the pleasure she’d given him and he’d given her, and tired too of not understanding everything she felt she should. So, she sat snuggled in his lap in the tub, letting him hold her and stroke her back as she splayed her hands across his chest, gently tracing his reimancy imitation scars and the other marks on his chest. Some of them she was there for, some had come with him. Other places would be marked later as their life passed by. She even closed her eyes and stilled her motions when he cupped her head. Kelski liked his touch, craved it even, and didn’t want to hear what she suspected he’d say next.
She slowly opened her eyes when what she thought he’d say didn’t come. Instead he insisted she not accept his silence as agreement or disagreement. The Kelvic nodded slowly, understanding what he said in its simplest measure. Had he said she was wrong, Kelski wouldn’t have walked away from that moment thinking he agreed with her. But she didn’t interrupt him and didn’t offer words. She understood the need to think things over more than most, so she couldn’t disagree with his reasoning.
She read his pain acutely in his eyes. Hazel bled with the reality that he was thinking of their harsh words. The Sea Eagle tire not to think much into his expression, jumping into a conclusion that was inaccurate to his reality. Instead she practiced quieting her mind and listening. It was far more difficult than overrunning his own words with hers. And it forced her to try to place herself in his situation.
The noises of the room crept in as Kelski listened to Kynier. His breathing, the shift of his back against the tub rim, the lap of water against her breasts as it lapped between them. Water dropped somewhere, possibly splashed over the tub during their earlier activities. The scent of the oil she put in the water hit her nose, masculine and uplifting. Tiny bubbles periodically escaped from beneath them, one or two at a time, trapped air finding its free kin at the surface. Kelski’s senses felt preternatural in her concentration as Kynier’s explanation and apology softly washed over her.
Had she have heard his thoughts, she would have pointed out how he assumed she’d fail… not trusting her to even do something safely. But Kelski was no mind reader. She wasn’t even good at reading the emotions of her own mate.
Nodding, she kept silent, kept listening until he’d finally said his piece. He assigned her some of the blame, for her quiet private nature, and Kelski could accept that. She also agreed they needed to spend more time. She kept her thoughts empty, letting his words soak into her psyche. She took some time, after he was finished, to absorb what he had said and let the full meaning sink in. Then, quietly, she began to speak.
“My whole life I thought I was unwanted. I thought my parents cast me out, traded me for supplies, and cursed me to a life of servitude.” She started out quietly, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in her hair. It was an encouraging touch, one that caused her to speak more freely than she usually would. “When your life is your own, you make your own decisions. But when you are owned, every decision is made for you. When you get up, how hard you work, when you can speak and when you should not. I have learned over a lifetime – however short that is verses yours – that you do not volunteer things to others. You don’t even necessarily tell them what is in your mind when you think it even if they ask. I am not deliberately hiding things from you. I just naturally assume you will ask if you are curious.” She said with an odd look to her face.
“There are days I marvel that I have choices. I go to bed at all different times and rise at all different times because I can. I have that freedom. It is a small miracle every day to me that I can choose to eat whenever I want too. I didn’t often get fed with The Sun’s Birth. It wasn’t because they were cruel. It was simply because I wasn’t someone at the forefront of their minds. Now I always remember to feed Moth and the chickens, probably more than they need, because I know what it is like to depend on others to feed you and not find your own food.” She said, her voice almost wistful. “I patrol the city diligently because I can leave The Midnight Gem whenever I want to. I’ve never missed a day or lacked noting a change from above.” Kelski confessed.
“When I was less than a year old my first master sold time with my body to a man he owed a debt to. I was small, half the size I am now, and that man hurt me. I bled for days afterwards, and my master looked away because he didn’t see me as anything but the means to an end. Before I had even healed up, he sold more time with me to a different man to pay a debt. I spent much of those first two years paying his debts. He liked to gamble. I grew tough and indifferent to it. I didn’t know what time with a man should be like before I met you. Even now, sitting here with you, I marvel at how tenderly you stroke my back, gently grip my hips, pet me… even how you kiss.” She said gently, confessing something so horrible, but it was as if he wanted to know… as if he coaxed it from her. “It’s not something I like to talk about. I am six years old. It wasn’t that long ago, Kynier. I won my freedom from that man and took my revenge, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I was only free a short time, before the Svefra had me and eventually The Sun’s Birth. My time with The Sun’s Birth was far easier than my time being small. And now… now I know a man’s body is a beautiful thing, not a weapon. I know a man’s lips on me can be the most amazing thing in the world. I know a man’s touch can be magical. I’ve had every reason to hate humans. It’s been a hard road to walk not blaming you for what others have done to me.” She confessed.
“But it also breaks my heart that you think I would be content with The Midnight Gem and working jewelry here the rest of my life. If you knew me you would know I was just getting started. I can’t help but think that if you really knew me, you’d see this for what it is… a giant eagle’s nest around me… a home base, a place of security, somewhere that generates funding in a way I enjoy to do so much more.” Kelski said, shifting slightly to bring her hands up from where they trailed his chest to cup his jaw.
Her fingers splayed out and she studied his face, then met his eyes.
“Akajia called me to go through this, to be here. I am strong because of past violence. I know too that I can lead. You can too. She wants more from us than just compliance. You are just the first. She wants us to found a group here of followers… to serve her for a higher purpose. She has yet to tell me the purpose or name the group… but they will show themselves and we will gather them. You have to get stronger in your magic and stronger in your body. I have to get stronger too, as strong as Kreig, because Akajia wants us ready for what will come. The Midnight Gem is just a beginning… the big stick nest.” She said softly.
What she also wanted to say was for him to trust her and that she wouldn’t let him down. It wasn’t in her nature to give up or quit. She wanted to say for him not to doubt her because she doubted herself enough for both of them. But those were his own inner fears he had to fight by himself. She could only encourage him through action to trust and believe. It was advice she should take for herself, in regards to him. But how… how to trust? Kelski didn’t know. She just didn’t know.
"As to the rest, Kynier... I don't know what to say to you. I want to urge you to trust me, but I understand how it must be earned and not given. I'll try my best to earn it... and keep trying. I can tell you that you hold my heart. You are my mine. And Sea Eagles mate for life." She said softly, leaning forward to kiss him lightly before she leaned back.
The words spoken between them didn’t change anything – certainly not the situation – but it somehow robbed it of the power it had been having over both of them being unspoken. Still slightly out of breath, Kelski studied Kynier, not being privy to his thoughts nor how he divided himself neatly into three distinct personalities. To her, he was simply Kynier… a complex gemstone with a lot of faucets. He changed distinctly depending on which way she studied him. And while there were things about him that were absolutely perfect to her, he had a lot of flaws too.
But Kelski was tired. Tired of talking, tired from the pleasure she’d given him and he’d given her, and tired too of not understanding everything she felt she should. So, she sat snuggled in his lap in the tub, letting him hold her and stroke her back as she splayed her hands across his chest, gently tracing his reimancy imitation scars and the other marks on his chest. Some of them she was there for, some had come with him. Other places would be marked later as their life passed by. She even closed her eyes and stilled her motions when he cupped her head. Kelski liked his touch, craved it even, and didn’t want to hear what she suspected he’d say next.
She slowly opened her eyes when what she thought he’d say didn’t come. Instead he insisted she not accept his silence as agreement or disagreement. The Kelvic nodded slowly, understanding what he said in its simplest measure. Had he said she was wrong, Kelski wouldn’t have walked away from that moment thinking he agreed with her. But she didn’t interrupt him and didn’t offer words. She understood the need to think things over more than most, so she couldn’t disagree with his reasoning.
She read his pain acutely in his eyes. Hazel bled with the reality that he was thinking of their harsh words. The Sea Eagle tire not to think much into his expression, jumping into a conclusion that was inaccurate to his reality. Instead she practiced quieting her mind and listening. It was far more difficult than overrunning his own words with hers. And it forced her to try to place herself in his situation.
The noises of the room crept in as Kelski listened to Kynier. His breathing, the shift of his back against the tub rim, the lap of water against her breasts as it lapped between them. Water dropped somewhere, possibly splashed over the tub during their earlier activities. The scent of the oil she put in the water hit her nose, masculine and uplifting. Tiny bubbles periodically escaped from beneath them, one or two at a time, trapped air finding its free kin at the surface. Kelski’s senses felt preternatural in her concentration as Kynier’s explanation and apology softly washed over her.
Had she have heard his thoughts, she would have pointed out how he assumed she’d fail… not trusting her to even do something safely. But Kelski was no mind reader. She wasn’t even good at reading the emotions of her own mate.
Nodding, she kept silent, kept listening until he’d finally said his piece. He assigned her some of the blame, for her quiet private nature, and Kelski could accept that. She also agreed they needed to spend more time. She kept her thoughts empty, letting his words soak into her psyche. She took some time, after he was finished, to absorb what he had said and let the full meaning sink in. Then, quietly, she began to speak.
“My whole life I thought I was unwanted. I thought my parents cast me out, traded me for supplies, and cursed me to a life of servitude.” She started out quietly, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in her hair. It was an encouraging touch, one that caused her to speak more freely than she usually would. “When your life is your own, you make your own decisions. But when you are owned, every decision is made for you. When you get up, how hard you work, when you can speak and when you should not. I have learned over a lifetime – however short that is verses yours – that you do not volunteer things to others. You don’t even necessarily tell them what is in your mind when you think it even if they ask. I am not deliberately hiding things from you. I just naturally assume you will ask if you are curious.” She said with an odd look to her face.
“There are days I marvel that I have choices. I go to bed at all different times and rise at all different times because I can. I have that freedom. It is a small miracle every day to me that I can choose to eat whenever I want too. I didn’t often get fed with The Sun’s Birth. It wasn’t because they were cruel. It was simply because I wasn’t someone at the forefront of their minds. Now I always remember to feed Moth and the chickens, probably more than they need, because I know what it is like to depend on others to feed you and not find your own food.” She said, her voice almost wistful. “I patrol the city diligently because I can leave The Midnight Gem whenever I want to. I’ve never missed a day or lacked noting a change from above.” Kelski confessed.
“When I was less than a year old my first master sold time with my body to a man he owed a debt to. I was small, half the size I am now, and that man hurt me. I bled for days afterwards, and my master looked away because he didn’t see me as anything but the means to an end. Before I had even healed up, he sold more time with me to a different man to pay a debt. I spent much of those first two years paying his debts. He liked to gamble. I grew tough and indifferent to it. I didn’t know what time with a man should be like before I met you. Even now, sitting here with you, I marvel at how tenderly you stroke my back, gently grip my hips, pet me… even how you kiss.” She said gently, confessing something so horrible, but it was as if he wanted to know… as if he coaxed it from her. “It’s not something I like to talk about. I am six years old. It wasn’t that long ago, Kynier. I won my freedom from that man and took my revenge, but it didn’t make me feel any better. I was only free a short time, before the Svefra had me and eventually The Sun’s Birth. My time with The Sun’s Birth was far easier than my time being small. And now… now I know a man’s body is a beautiful thing, not a weapon. I know a man’s lips on me can be the most amazing thing in the world. I know a man’s touch can be magical. I’ve had every reason to hate humans. It’s been a hard road to walk not blaming you for what others have done to me.” She confessed.
“But it also breaks my heart that you think I would be content with The Midnight Gem and working jewelry here the rest of my life. If you knew me you would know I was just getting started. I can’t help but think that if you really knew me, you’d see this for what it is… a giant eagle’s nest around me… a home base, a place of security, somewhere that generates funding in a way I enjoy to do so much more.” Kelski said, shifting slightly to bring her hands up from where they trailed his chest to cup his jaw.
Her fingers splayed out and she studied his face, then met his eyes.
“Akajia called me to go through this, to be here. I am strong because of past violence. I know too that I can lead. You can too. She wants more from us than just compliance. You are just the first. She wants us to found a group here of followers… to serve her for a higher purpose. She has yet to tell me the purpose or name the group… but they will show themselves and we will gather them. You have to get stronger in your magic and stronger in your body. I have to get stronger too, as strong as Kreig, because Akajia wants us ready for what will come. The Midnight Gem is just a beginning… the big stick nest.” She said softly.
What she also wanted to say was for him to trust her and that she wouldn’t let him down. It wasn’t in her nature to give up or quit. She wanted to say for him not to doubt her because she doubted herself enough for both of them. But those were his own inner fears he had to fight by himself. She could only encourage him through action to trust and believe. It was advice she should take for herself, in regards to him. But how… how to trust? Kelski didn’t know. She just didn’t know.
"As to the rest, Kynier... I don't know what to say to you. I want to urge you to trust me, but I understand how it must be earned and not given. I'll try my best to earn it... and keep trying. I can tell you that you hold my heart. You are my mine. And Sea Eagles mate for life." She said softly, leaning forward to kiss him lightly before she leaned back.
