Completed What Not To Do As A Hostess Pt. 1

[Tazrae]

Timestamp: The 11th of Fall, 521 A.V.

Continued From: The Fundamentals of Hostessing Pt. 2

Though some time had passed since Tazrae had added to her journal project on hostessing, there were certain things in the back of her mind that were brewing that she wanted to add to her journal. She’d simmered all day, it being exactly a day since she’d put her interpretations of her father’s teachings down on paper. Now she wanted to try another path and put those thoughts down on paper. Tazrae had made a lot of mistakes in being a hostess. And sometimes it was beneficial to review those mistakes, list them, and urge oneself or other snot to do them again.

Her biggest mistake of all she led with.

1. Worry About What Guests Will Think About You, Your Accommodations, Or What You Serve. (Never worry about what they think…you will overthink it anyhow.)

Tazrae had learned the hard way that all the cleaning in the world, all the subsequent decorating and preparation should never be driven by the desire or approval. Once upon a time Tazrae had needed and craved such things. But over time she’d learned that questions such as “Is their dust on the bookshelves?” or “Will they hate my drink choices?” would lead her to arrange the accommodations and dining into a sort of situation that screamed… “Let’s talk about how amazing I am.” Instead of the message she really wanted to convey which was…. “Do you feel relaxed and refreshed yet?”

Putting her pen to ink, Taz began carefully relating personal experiences into this section where she made this mistake over and over again, cleaning unnecessarily or buying fine linens she couldn’t afford when a guest in the past just simply needed a warm place to sleep on snuggly cotton sheets. There were hundreds of examples.

Instead, Taz had learned over the years to empathize with what people were going through and experiencing in their lives. Travel, for example, was stressful and when people showed up to Syka, they were definitely traveling into the unknown for the thrill of experiencing the unknown. That meant, she didn’t dress their rooms with comfort and things they could find at home. Instead, they got thrown-open windows to capture the cooling breeze and baskets filled with little notes attached to various food and snack selections that guests likely had never seen before.

2. Focus On Getting Attention. (A huge mistake… focus on giving attention!)

It wasn’t about Tazrae’s experiences in Syka. It was about her guests getting attention and having experiences that made them memories. They actually needed a great deal of attention paid to them, personal time, listening, and all the things she’d talked about in the first part of the journal. Tazrae wrote about this in-depth, filling the pages with her thoughts. The writing was free-flowing because she had a wide variety of experiences to draw from. Her anecdotal evidence was expansive from both being here in Syka and from growing up an Innkeeper's daughter. So she wrote about the mistakes she’d made and what she’d learned.

[Tazrae]

Moving on, Tazrae added another bullet point to the list.

1. Give People What You Love. (Everyone is different… find out what THEY love and give them that, not what you love.)

People actually don’t like much change. They like what they like and tend to gravitate towards it. Just because you like something doesn’t mean someone else will like something. A good example was how Tazrae found reading relaxing. She automatically thought everyone would relax when reading. The problem was, not everyone could read and not everyone relaxed with books. Just putting in a library wasn’t going to make an environment relaxing or cause someone to relax. Tazrae wrote about this in-depth. Gamblers relaxed in gambling, drinkers relaxed in drinking… the list went on and on. Her goal, as an Innkeeper and Hostess, was to find out what the guest was like and what they enjoyed then give them a superior amount of that in order to make them comfortable.

Taz spent some time focusing on narrowing down her guests' personality traits, and how they tended to stay consistent throughout life. If someone collected something…. they would love one more item for their collection.

2. Generalize The Guest Experience. (Wrong! Customize it!)

Yet another issue Innkeepers have is setting up their guest rooms, guest gift baskets, and meals all the same. Repetitive meals get boring fast. The same things all the time get dull, overdone, and exhausting especially for the people doing the repeats. You want to customize the space for your guests, their gifts, and their meals according to what they prefer and enjoy. A person wants their guests to feel special and their experiences ‘one of a kind’. Tazrae didn’t spend a lot of time on this section. She didn’t need to relate stories and repeat herself here. Instead, she focused on just getting the message out. Customize not generalize.

3. Generosity Wins Friends And Influences People. (No. Be generous to find happiness not for the wrong reasons.)

Most people take the approach that once you lavish things on others – regardless of what your being generous with – that they will like you, love you, even respect you more. The core truth of the matter is that one should be generous because it makes one happy. And the moment that happiness is traded for resentment or the feeling of being overburdened… is the moment generosity becomes a burden on the generous. Tazrae tried to put this in writing, leaning over the page, re-dipping her quill, and finding herself filling up a page and a half with information about generosity and finding a balance with it.

She herself loved spoiling people and generally being generous with her time and knowledge. But it had to be the right people that welcomed her presence in their lives. There were some people that honestly kept to themselves and the best way to be generous to them was to give them time and space. That was what the introverts needed in their vacations and accommodations. Tazrae understood that and respected that… which was why she was so intent on identifying traits guests need as individuals rather than lump them all into one group.

.

[Tazrae]

Looking back, Tazrae read over the five things she’d written about and decided that wasn’t quite enough of a list of ‘what not to do’ as a hostess. She could come up with a few more, certainly, then she did so.

6. Make Your Guests Stick To A Ridged Schedule. (No! Let them come and go as they please with suggestions for activities when they grew bored and needed adventure.)

One-off the worst things Tazrae could think of for a hostess was to plan every last minute of a guest’s time while visiting their Inn. Instead, guests should be allowed to do their own thing and come and go as they pleased during long visits. It was her responsibility to layout information on what guests could do in their free time…. what they could see, where they could go, and activities she could provide for. Tazrae wasn’t beyond escorting people on tours around Syka.

Plus, she’d recently purchased things like paddleboards to give guests unique experiences if they were brave enough to try the sport. It was about finding a balance between helping people find a way to rest, relax and vacation and being too there and too present. She wanted to be a walking encyclopedia for her guests without being a dominating know-it-all. It was a thin balance, but one that needed to be walked in order to be a truly successful Innkeeper.

7. Don’t Allow Guests To Do For Themselves. (Wrong, make them feel comfortable enough to do for themselves.)

First off, one can’t read minds. Taz wrote in her journal in this section appropriately. She wasn’t a mind reader and didn’t try to be one. She reminded herself and anyone else who might read the journal later that the best an Innkeeper could do was allow for guests do make do for themselves. In this case, she offered examples. A good host should never let a glass go empty, but did the guest want warm or chilled beverages? One had to ask to find out. If a guest got cold or wanted to stay out after dark staring at the stars, Taz always made sure she had extra bulky sweaters or thick blankets they could make use of if they needed them.

Often guests came to Syka unprepared for the daily downpours. It was a rainforest, after all, so slickers were a must. Taz kept a wardrobe for them near the doorway and made sure all the guests knew they were there. Oilskin wasn’t a common substance people used for outerwear, so it was yet another Syka novelty her guests could experience. The elderly often retired early and didn’t like steps. Taz made sure she kept her older more seasoned guests on a ground floor away from where the noise of late-night revelry might bother them.

And naturally the section she just finished slid into another section incredibly organically. Taz almost smiled as she added a number eight to the list.

8. Overlook Your Guests’ Needs. (See to all their needs!)

If people have special diets or needs of any kind, a good host finds out what these are and sees them. If a fair-skinned guest burns easily, then make sure they have a sun hat or ten to choose from and some protective anti-sun lotion to smooth onto their skins. Most guests never anticipate the insect issue in Syka, so Tazrae made sure she provided insect nets on beds and insect repellents for beach and jungle trips.

[Tazrae]

The young Innkeeper spent a good deal of time writing about this wanting to make sure it was fully understood and her ideas were expressed. An Innkeeper’s job was to make sure the guests were pleased and that everyone under her roof had a good time. For those reasons alone, heeding a guests needs was essential. Tazrae decided if she ever rewrote the journal, she’d lead with this concept because it was that important.

9. Settle For Basic. (No way! Be extrodinary!)

So many Innkeepers just stuck to the basics. Their Inns reflected this in decor and guest list. Having guests in one’s home was a cause for celebration always. Guests required hostesses like Tazrae to step up their normal routine and make every ordinary day feel like a holiday. That might mean fresh flowers, new dishes, polishing the silver, or putting on a crazy beautiful dress. It might mean stocking more than necessary. It might mean upgrading normal food recipes to extraordinary holiday dishes. Innkeepers, as she’d already talked about, got to host holidays every day when their guests changed. Solstice bread and cookies were turned out on non-solstice days just because new people were there celebrating whatever it was they were celebrating in coming to Syka.

There could be birthdays for strangers, anniversaries, or just the wealthy with too much time and money on their hands. One couldn’t predict what a new crop of guests was going to bring, but Tazrae noted in the journal that it was important to make sure the entryway always had fresh bougets of flowers to greet the masses.

10. Try Something New. (This is a terrible idea! Stick with what you know!)

As the local Captain of The Veronica always said…. “There is never a good time to attempt a maiden voyage.”. That proved true with recipes or party games or even new décor. Being an Innkeeper meant she had to come up with fantastic meals and fun adventures, but it wasn’t something she needed to do with a house full of guests. Thus, she didn’t whip up new recipes and serve them untested to guests. All recipes needed to be tried and true – perfected – before serving. Games had to be invented, designed, or learned before being taught to others. Children had to be provided entertainment so the adults could relax. Taz added everything she could think of into this section as an example. No rollouts on new guests. Guests were guests, not guinea pigs. It was a thing she needed to remember.

11. Underserve. (Have more food, towels, time, and information not less!)

Tazrae began to write, the ideas rolling out of her fingers via the quill once she set it to paper. The concept was simple. When planning for guests, always over-estimate the amount of food or space needed. It’s a real tragic thing when food runs out. It can kill the mood of a party. Stock both the bar and the buffet with far more than you need. Make sure there is a variety for all different diets including the very old and the very young. Make sure there are enough clean towels, fresh soap, and even supplies for the outhouse or bathrooms to keep the guests clean. In the tropics, it's super important to have potable water on hand. A catchment system is a definite must since groundwater isn’t to be trusted to drink as freshwater. Overabundance…. the jungle would provide.

[Tazrae]

She thought she had enough information on the topic and so after a re-dip of her pen and a thoughtful tap of the feathered end against her cheek, she added one more do-not to her list. The section of the journal.

12. Apologies. (Never do it. Never feel it.)

Things happen. Mistakes are made. When things don’t go as perfectly as planned, don’t apologize for what you see as flaws and imperfections. Simply own it and move past it. For one thing, it draws attention to something the guests might not have known. Was your meal a bit overdone and dry? Maybe you knew that, but did the guests? Don’t highlight imperfections by apologizing or them. It would be like shining a spotlight on all the things that are wrong instead of all the things that are perfect.

Taz thought a moment and added another thought to the section. She’d always felt like a profuse apologizing sort of came off like someone was desperately fishing for compliments. Tazrae couldn’t think of anyone that wanted to grovel to be told they were doing a good job. She certainly didn’t. So, she wrote that thinking happy thoughts, speaking happy thoughts, and setting a good mood was far more important to set the mood than lavishing apologies all over guests like insect repellents. With that, Tazrae finished off the section with a few more cautionary tales, then added a number thirteen to her list of “Do Nots”.

13. Do Everything. (This is impossible and irresponsible. Let other people help!)

Tazrae knew it was almost always impossible to do everything oneself. And when she tried, things get left out and forgotten which can negatively impact an entire situation. Some guests LIKE to help, whether it be picking up their own dirty dishes or assisting in the laundry of their own bedding. Tazrae learned a long time ago to just let them. If guests help here and there, it can be a great time to get to know them and spend time with them rather than being that absentee host that spends all their time in the kitchen instead of gathering around the table.

So, she spelled this out in her journal under the ‘Do Everything’ entry exactly.

What Not To Do As A Hostess Pt. 1

Word Count: 2564