Calovan's Prayers to Caiyha (Journal)

[Calovan]

Great and mighty Caiyha, Spirit of All that Lives, hear my prayer. May all of Nature and its bounty be enriched unto you, so that my spirit can commune with you and your domain.
I, Calovan of the Beast People and of the Raven, beseech you.

Today, I killed a man. I struck him down as he assaulted a Konti woman with the unjust advantage of greater numbers. The woman, who tells me her name is K'Sondra, is one of the Seer people, and it was through her power that she learned of my past sins. I confess that I am sometimes wracked with guilt over what I did, and yet... I cannot bear to let it be a weight on my shoulders. It is unnatural to grieve over such things. You, powerful and wise Caiyha, must know the way to relieve my burden.

In nature, the weak serve the strong. Might is everything, and survival is all that matters. I know these lessons by heart, and strive to show the magnificence that inhabits all living things, but I sense within myself hesitation and anxiety with every passing day... Am I right in my beliefs? Do I please you, as I swore I would when I dedicated myself to you, or have I turned from the right path and wandered from your sight?

This world is out of balance. I can feel it in the air, and when I am alone, I can feel the world pressing in on me, as though it, too, was aware of what I am... What I have become. My heart weeps when I see others suffer, and each time I see them, I suffer as well. The creatures, your servants and allies, seem tainted with some irrevocable force that I cannot understand.

I don't think I wish to understand it. I want it gone. I want to destroy this... this corruption. Regardless of my past deeds, both good and ill, I implore you to hear me and to enlighten me with the knowledge of the evil that I seek. The world cannot heal until this force is gone, and I will serve you to destroy this taint, to correct my path, and to finally be at peace with myself. I swear on the souls of all that have come before me, and all that shall follow, that I will not fail you.

May my words, my deeds, my spirit and my mind, be as one within your sight, my Goddess.
Caiyha shield me.