[Note by Luminescence] Ayva

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Ayva

Postby SupremeChari on December 23rd, 2019, 4:18 pm

Ayva


Appearance

Race: Human, Inarta
Gender: Female
Age: Thirty two
Birthday: 51, Fall, 487.
Birthplace: Lhavit

Appearance: What do you look like?
Hair Color: Red
Eye Color: Turquoise
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 132 lbs
Build/Complexion: Thin/fair
Ayva mostly wears dresses of brown and green colors, her skirts nearly touch the ground. Though she keeps herself clean, her clothes are often covered in dirt and bathed in the smell of flowers, due to her vocation. She wears cheap jewelry, almost everywhere she can, including rings, necklaces, earrings, and bracers. At times, when you look at her long hair, it feels like she doesn't know what a comb is.
Character Concept
Ayva is a frivolous, wildflower, who can't stand the boredom of everyday life, but lacks the skills and education to really hold her ground as an adventurer. At least, not for now. She carves out a living by selling medicine, potions, antidotes and occasionally flowers.

Her restless nature and loudmouth gets her in trouble once in a while, though the punishment suffered for this is rarely serious. She usually wears her actual mood on her face and speaks her mind. Though she is spontaneous and sometimes even foolhardy, she isn't stupid or mad, though the lack of experience and her behavior certainly limits her perceived intelligence.

Ayva is constantly on the look-out for an opportunity to get out of the boundaries of her life, waiting for the right moment.


Character History
She is an only child, now living by herself. Her father Merkak was a city guard, he got killed while on duty in a worse part of town by unknown assailants. Not much is known about him, as her mother usually kept oddly silent about him, except that he was a man of honor, always true to his words and dependable. Her mother Sephi was a respected medicine woman of their neighborhood. Her Most of Ayva 's skills and knowledge comes from her, just like her love for literature. Sephi's work kept a roof over their heads for a long time, but she was a frail, weak woman. As time went on, signs of a lingering illness started to become more and more severe...

Ayva grew up studying, spending some lazy days and nights reading poetry, helping her mother out in their store whenever it was needed. Unlike Sephi, she had really thin patience and hated most of the kids in the neighborhood for their jokes regarding the "carrot hair" and the "ugliness" of her freckles. The feeling was mutual at least, so, with no ambiguity left in the matter, she could focus on making their life hell as well whenever she could. This developed an appetite for trouble and mischief later on. Even after growing up, she can't stand being near kids, regarding them as little monsters who are even worse than real criminals at times. Of course, this view is quite exaggerated, but the attitude is there nonetheless.

Despite her often troublesome childhood, she doesn't avoid people and managed to befriend some of her mother's customers, especially those who traded manuscripts in exchange for their services, instead of coins. A few of them spared some time to talk about distant lands, traveling around, the caravans, places to go...

After many painful years, Sephi finally spirited away on a cold winter night. Her daughter was only seventeen and without any relatives to rely on, Ayva was forced to survive on her own in the city. She wasn't exactly unprepared for this, spending much of her time in their store in the past years, but the transition was not smooth regardless. She lost many of her mother's regular customers due to her behavior and chased away potential buyers too... having a big mouth isn't necessarily a perk in the world of business. Not to mention that many considered her too young to be taken seriously anyway...

Years after her mother's death, she now stands there alone, ready for a change, keeping her eyes wide open. Business is not good, but sufficient enough to make a living out of it, the boredom is a killer, the people around aren't getting any better and the few friends are simply not enough of a force to hold her back, should she decide to move...


Language

Fluent Language: Comon
Basic Language:
Poor Language:


Skills

Please list skills in alphabetical order by competency

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Herbalism 20 Novice
Story Teller 10 Novice
Falconcry20+ 10 ((racial bonus)) Competent


(HELPFUL HINT, Please Remove - Common Skills: Trade skills related to Crafts and Arts, Magical Study, Religion.)

Lores

Helpful Lores: (Pick 2)
Lore of Lhavitian Culture
Lore of History of Lhavit
Possessions

-Simple Shirt
-Simple Pants
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple Cloak or Coat
-Simple Boots
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Kina

Heirloom:Beaten bronze bracelets of her mothers.[/b] - Max. 50gm worth)

Housing

Location: Pending

House:


Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 Kina 100 Kina


Thread List

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Current Character: Ayva
SupremeChari
Player
 
Posts: 1
Words: 1619
Joined roleplay: December 21st, 2019, 5:26 pm
Race: Human, Inarta

Ayva

Postby Luminescence on December 23rd, 2019, 5:47 pm

Image
Let me shed some light on the situation

Welcome to Miz, Ayva! I'm Luminescence, and I'm here to help. You're off to a good start, but before you continue, there are some things that you need to fix with your CS.

*Your username: Your username needs to be the same as your character's name. You can change this through the User Control Panel.

*Your concept: Please be mindful about using certain words or describing certain things about your PC and having those related skills; just as an example, 'potions' usually refers to brews made through the Philtering skill, and to make antidotes, one generally needs the Poison skill.

*Your history: Lhavit's city guards are called the Shinya; while it's possible for one to be killed on duty, as violence occurs everywhere no matter how hard one tries to keep it away, do keep in mind that there aren't really any 'bad' parts of town within Lhavit. No area of the city is really more prone to criminal activity than another.

Also, you seem to have described Ayva as having her own business (inherited from her mother); for a job, you will either need to apply to one of the existing locations in Lhavit (all locations are listed in the Atlas) or apply for your own business in the Business Plans forum. Starting your own business out the gate as a new player can be a lot, so I recommend taking a look through the Atlas for a suitable location to work at; you can justify this as her losing her mother's business from her poor attitude/lack of experience if you wish.

*Your languages: Just a typo, but the language should be 'Common'. Also, if Ayva is a full Inarta, you can take Nari as your basic language if you wish; just mention somewhere in your history that her parents taught it to her growing up.

*Your skills: Please denote your skills as either coming from your Starting Package (SP) or Racial Bonus (RB); as is you've only denoted your RB. The 'Story Teller' skill should be 'Storytelling'. Your table is also a little bit off as you've forgotten to include the entries for your 'Total' column. Also, where did Ayva learn Falconry? Despite being your RB, you need to explain this, especially since she grew up in Lhavit. Again, it's most likely that her parents would have taught her.

It also might be worth rearranging your skills a little bit; based on your concept, you seem interested in Medicine, Philtering, and even Gardening, so it might be worthwhile to take some points in some of those skills rather than putting 20 SP into Falconry, which you don't mention in Ayva's concept or history at all. Just something to consider, it is of course up to you.

*Your possessions: Please pick a cloak OR coat.

*Your housing: For permanent housing, you can either live in a cottage at the Okomo Estates, or an apartment in the Solar Winds Apartments. Otherwise, you can cash in your housing for 500 GM and choose to rent a room at the Shooting Star Inn.

*General: You can remove the notes throughout your CS about 'helpful hints' and things like that. Also, I would recommend going through your CS just to fix any spelling/grammatical errors. It won't stop your CS from being approved, but there are some typos here and there that I noticed that are worth fixing. Also, don't forget to link your CS to your profile! This can be done through the User Control Panel.

Once you've made the above corrections, let me know and I'll remove this intervention. Otherwise, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to either PM me or find me in chat!
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Luminescence
Allow me to light the way
 
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