What of you had a great life and didn't even know it?
Lately I've been asking myself that as a reminder of good things. Tragedy is to be so caught up in what you're afraid of that you miss all the beauty directly in front of you, all the opportunities to love on people. And we are all afraid of so many things, some more than others. We're afraid our needs won't be met, that we won't matter, that we will be disliked, that we have fumbled things so badly there is no recovering. And if you are a writer, chances are you feel things a little more keenly, for both good and ill.
I think a solution to this is to be present. In this very moment what do you have? Who can you bless? I regret things I have done, but I've never regretted showing love. Not in the common sense of the word, but what it means at its foundations. Love is not being nice, it is being kind. It is not ignoring faults, it is seeing them and forgiving them. It is not doing what feels good, it is doing what's right. It is not placing yourself beneath another, it is removing your self from the equation entirely. Love is hard and it will not allow your pride to survive. It is the crossroads where you decide it is of more worth to value another person and their needs than to be right, heard or important.
I have not always been true to this. It is no easy task, but then real love wouldn't be so powerful unless it was a thing deep and high, something that enfolds all. Love has jurisdiction in both a kind word and a profound sacrifice.
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