Hi..I've been thinking about all this stuff and got to the conclusion that I am Alone.Yes,don't stare like that.Even if I got online friends,it's not enough.Even if my mom is around[from time to time],not enough.Not even my dog keeps me that much company,since he stays with mom to the other house.Even if I am surrounded by a crowd of people,I feel alone..and I can't explain actually and exactly WHY?!Or,maybe I know but it's so hard to admit it.
I need that person for me Only,to just keep me company,hold hands and share all the small good and bad things in our lives.But,I am Alone.More alone than a Forgotten Doll in the basement.I just feel that I failed so much in guy's and love issues,that I lost all hope in this..
I look around me and everyone has "that close person" to them and I get nostalgic and a bit sad about it..as I can't have that.My past 2 relationships went from bad to worse and in the end only hurt me..
Maybe I am not good enough,maybe..-I am not offering enough or maybe I am to childish.But I need affection..I don't know what I should do..
November 2010
October 2010
I know exactly know you feel. Lately one of my best relationships has been faltering and I've started to really wonder who my friends are. I love everyone on Mizahar and they have become so close to me almost as if they were family (especially you) but I do see that this is online and not real life. We all have our down times and I totally see how this hurts. I've been through it and I'm still going through it. I'm always the single person in my group of friends and I always wish I could know how it feels to be in a relationship. My last relationship ended terribly and it still hurts. I've been cheated on, ignored, and even made to feel like I don't matter. I know I matter though and even though right now is hard and I'm feeling lonely I know someday it will end. There is something out there for everyone. Just remember that you are good enough and never forget it. I don't know you personally but from threading with you and talking to you in chat i know how great you are and I'd hate to see someone as nice as you give up. There is always a quote I like to think of when I feel depressed. It's from Elizabethtown.
