It is odd how luck can determine your actions.

I believe that there is no such thing as luck or bad luck; instead we and our thoughts are the ones shaping the world around us. Sometimes I watch the happenings unfold, though, and ask myself why here and now? What is so special about this day?

Recently activity as Malia has stagnated a bit. She has a bunch of threads from last season, but all of those are moving quite slowly. I’m grateful because I can play with awesome writers in exchange of a little waiting time, but it gives me nothing to do. I take fluid time a lot more seriously than I used to some time ago. I guess the future psychologist shows through here. Everything that happens in threads is an important part of the character’s individual development. Continuing the new season without knowing where the threads from last season will go might result in posts that do not seem to follow the rules of fluid time in a realistic way.

For example, Malia’s first thread was an encounter with Tanroa at the temple. The thread took several months to finish. Meanwhile I wrote in other threads that were dated later. So, when I finished the Tanroa thread, I suddenly found Malia with a purpose and a mission I had never mentioned in the threads afterwards! Back then I didn’t mind, but I don’t want that to happen again. It’s kind of ridiculous.

So, Malia is pretty much blocked apart from some training I can and want to do regardless.

And like a river carving out a new bed when the old one is no longer available, my creativity redirects itself towards a different character ... I find myself dusting off Aselia and prettifying her CS. I think it’s the third comeback she has now ... but I don’t mind. As long as I have fun, I absolutely don’t mind.

This is exactly the situation that usually causes me to think: Why do I mind the rest of my time? I guess the mere fact that I have that thought proves that I’m slowly getting better at ‘not minding’. Which is good.

Aselia is in...

[ Continued ]

I’ve badly neglected Mizahar for the last few days. I didn’t have any particular reason, or rather, I have, but that doesn’t really count as a reason for me. I have time because it’s summer holidays here. I have time because my grandma hasn’t yet finished what we need to get started on our big project, so I’m merely waiting for her at the moment. I have time because I don’t have anything to do except reading books for my thesis, playing the violin and going for a walk or swimming once in a while. But something has kept me from Mizahar: stories. Recently I’ve rediscovered my love for epic stories. About a week ago I’ve attended a manga and anime convention, an event that revolves around those two-dimensional people on the page and screen. As always, I’ve seen amazing things. I’ve watched a few episodes of a new anime – and went home to watch some more episodes. Then I started reading more manga again and found one I enjoyed. I knew that it had been turned into an anime as well, so I went to watch the anime. And got hooked from the first episode on. Since then, my creativity and art has taken a lot of inspiration from that anime and some other amazing stuff I’ve been reading and watching. During that, something else has happened. One day I’ve found myself with nothing to write and nothing to do, so my mind kind of made up one of those crazy stories I’d never show anyone else. Not even my best friend. I don’t know how people will react to such crazy stuff, but a part of me doesn’t want to find out. I write those stories for my own enjoyment. They aren’t meant to be rewritten, criticized or published, they are meant as a pastime to fight boredom. That’s the only reason I can recall that I’ve started writing: out of simple boredom. Anyway, I’ve started writing that story. That day I didn’t have anything else to do, so I started writ...

[ Continued ]

So, I’ve been a bit confused lately over the function of scrapbooks. Most seem to use them as a replacement for blogs and I understand that since scrapbooks get more comments than blogs. I’ve done that too, for some time, because my first reaction on new things usually is going with the flow. That’s over now, though. I want to post my ramblings where they belong and drawings and other inspiration stuff in my scrapbook. I like things to be in order. Recently I’ve come across the Law of Attraction and two books about it. I started reading the first one about a week ago, I think, and have already experienced some amazing results. Of course, some have been more amazing than others. Getting on the tram just in time for several times is one of the not-so-amazing everyday wonders. Or not caring for a bad degree at a minor exam. Or getting something for Mura done. Or feeling not as sick as before since I’ve logged on and entered chat because everyone is so nice and friendly and someone has even commanded me to get better. Positive thoughts. Then there are the real wonders of which I’ve only experienced one so far which totally surprised me and made me happy. Like, I don’t even remember the last time I was that happy. The mere thought of it continues radiating happiness and anticipation which is just what I need now, by the way. Anyway, let me tell you a bit about it ... I think I’ve spoken about my lovely psychology teacher before, and also about the fact that I have two different psychology teachers: one for the regular subject and one for the semi-voluntary one. They are actually a married couple and look very sweet together, although they are approximately in their fifties or sixties and don’t have any children. So, that’s why she was able to tell the semi-voluntary psychology group last Thursday that she’ll be our teacher in the...

[ Continued ]

(written on Thursday, March 11th)

How can a single day be so happy? How can someone spend a week or more in a daze, a mixture of sadness, boredom and hopelessness and then suddenly jump from the bottom to the top of emotions? Anyway, it’s happened to me. Today.

Actually the day didn’t start out that good (failed the maths exam), but recently I’ve been taking delight in translating Latin and Greek texts more and more. It’s so exciting, the epic tales of Homer as well as the scientific descriptions, although it seems they’ll be about medicine for a while now. I’m perfectly fine with that though. It’s amazing what those ancient cultures already knew! It makes our culture pale in comparison, because although we have better technologies we haven’t come far ahead. It’s all thanks to the middle age ...

Anyway, I did Latin homework in the English lesson, because our teacher had been absent. Then I smiled about my Ancient Greek teacher’s incredibly inspiring interpretation of the Odyssey – it’s the part of Odysseus’ crew being enchanted and transformed into pigs by Kirke. He has pointed out that many elements of the whole Odyssey have symbolic character as well which means for the Kirke story ... men are pigs? At least those did behave like pigs – before being enchanted. Then I ice skated ... hadn’t been doing it for a while, because the location is only open at Sundays. Of course, they open for school classes during the week. The advantage was that we had more space for fewer people. It was heaven ... and a bit of hell at the same time, because it was cold and I wasn’t used to the following exhaustion anymore. I’ll definitely return this Sunday!

The best part of my Thursdays ALWAYS is the double psychology lesson with that incredibly funny and competent professor. I’d guess that she’s in her fifties, her hair is of a beautiful white I’ve never seen before, and when she wears skirts (which she often does) she seems to move like a dancer. Maybe it’s just my imagination, hehe. I...

[ Continued ]