Well, the title has nothing to do with the blog. XD I just wanted to write a blog and was as uncreative as possible (at least for me), so I went with that name. This is my first ever blog. So I'm going to mark this down somewhere because I once said I would never ever blog, just as I once said I would most likely never roleplay again before I joined Mizahar about a year ago, and look-see! Here I am on Mizahar, having joined the last month!

This will probably be some random rambling blog. I've not done one before so I'm going to assume you can just blog about anything and it'll be okay. ^^

Well, I'm going to blog about writing, as that's a big thing in my life, and how much I appreciate Mizahar and all it's awesome ideas and the way it functions.

Well, I started writing wayyyyy back when I was probably eight or nine. Not writing for school or anything, because I think kids start that when they are in kindergarten or at least grade one. No, instead I would write in loose-leaf at home and kind of allow people to read what I wrote, because back then no one ever openly judged you based on your writing. I can barely remember anything I did write. I for sure recall one story about a room in a cave with walls covered with feathers (this is totally where my obsession with feathers came from). That story was long ago though and while I recall small details, it is largely lost.

I wrote a lot as I grew up and my room was almost always messy because of all the sheets of loose-leaf I had laying around covered in words. I wrote by moonlight, I wrote on the washer, I wrote while I was supposed to be asleep. Not many people caught me, but eventually they would catch me off guard and I'd be forced to throw away what I wrote.

My family grew very judgemental of me. As I grew older, they began to call my stories "emo" and "stupid", so I stopped showing them it. I ended up hiding them when people would come into rooms because as far as I was concerned, writing was shameful.

I actually ended up stopping recently, around the same time I stopped roleplaying. Recently meaning about a year, a year and a half, ago. I just gave up. I slowly started up again this past summer, but my writing style changed. I used it as a way to cope with anger and sadness. If I was having a bad day, I would write about it. Whether it was why I was angry or sad, or based off of my feelings, I did it. And then, once I stopped, I would throw it away. It didn't ever make me feel better, but at least it gave me some form of temporary comfort and I could at least pretend to be happy and smiley like good old times. I'm not so angry anymore, so maybe writing like that worked, and I can't always remember why it was I would be so sad sometimes. I was never one to turn to self-mutilation or suicide, and so I didn't even when I was most depressed. I just wrote! It was a coping mechanism, I suppose.

Well, now I sort of depend on it. Writing is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I draw as well, but lately I haven't been able to find sketchbooks with the right... I don't know much how to describe it... I suppose texture?... that suits me. I'm annoyingly OCD and surprisingly picky and when I go shopping for supplies I feel the paper of the books I consider buying, and if it's too smooth I don't buy. If it feels like low-grade plastic or something, then it's not for me. Pens and pencils have to have a certain way to slide across the paper and a certain depth to their colour for me to choose as well.

One of these days, I'll come up with a way to describe what I look for in stuff like that. X_X

Anyway, yeah. I write and I draw still when it takes my fancy, usually "free-style". It's fun to just write without a thought of the finishing product, or to just draw and connect lines with the intent to see the end.

As for Mizahar and why I like it: it is immensely creative. I love creativity and the sparks of brilliance artists possess, and the lore pages all have that sparkle that makes them super special and amazing. The writers here, the mods and founders, make this place super wonderful. I can't dislike it! Sure, disagreements arise between players and the creators here, but it's just a wonderful atmosphere to lose oneself in!

As I said, I'm not so angry anymore and Mizahar is a place where I can lose myself being happy! :3

For some reason, that sounded much more horribly soppy and cliche than I intended...

YAY ME!

;3 Look forward to seeing you all in the game.