So, ladies and gents,

As my last blog said, I was having a pretty bad time in my life. Lost my job, pretty sick, low on money, ETC. WELL, Now is different. Today will be the last day of my first week of training for a customer support job at Xerox. (It isn't nearly as bad as it sounds-- The project I work in is for Apple iOS so it's nice, but I don't work for Apple if that makes sense.) The pay is nice and performance based and everyone there is super nice and it isn't anything like other call centers I've been in. Great family community, and the training is SO in depth. I love it.

Still very happily in a relationship, money coming in, celebrating Shi's birthday tomorrow.

Life is turning up and I just thought I'd let you all know.

It seems that every time something great happens, something equally bad begins. My mother is trying to tear me and my boyfriend apart, and it's creating so much stress and so many problems. Stress is an understatement. I am three months away from eighteen, and I know that what she's doing is because she wants to keep me close to her, she doesn't want to lose me. But what she's doing is completely selfish, irrational at best, because even if this is out of a twisted desire to protect me, she is not thinking about how badly she's hurting me.

The feeling of being backstabbed by my own mom is the worst I have ever felt. She thinks that she knew me before I began dating, but she didn't. She didn't know me at all, and only through finding someone that I loved enough to open up to did I gain the confidence to express myself. By taking that away, she is setting me back years.

I'm coming back to Mizahar to post in this blog because I feel this is a haven, this is being told to strangers and acquaintances that have told me they cared when I wrote before about my problems. It helps to know that someone is there to listen and try and understand, it makes me feel the tiniest bit better and makes me want to try to smile towards the future.

I am stuck for three months, and I don't know how they will go. I'm hoping to work for these three months, but whether or not mom will make it hard on me and my boyfriend is up to her. I hope she won't, and that I can see him even just once a month. It would mean the world to me. But if I can't, I can't. It's painful that it came down to this, and it hurts me in a way I've never experienced before.

It's a long ways away before I can be happy. I don't think I will truly be happy in the environment my mom is creating. My phone is cut off despite me needing it for work, and I can't go anywhere where he is, or see him. I don't know if talking online will be considered violating her rules, but if it is, then I will not forgive her. Talking online...

[ Continued ]

Good evening! I've had a pretty great day today, and I hope even better days to come, everything is going swell as I settle into Mizahar. My Inarta, Michaela Rae, in Wind Reach is making some friends and learning the ropes. What I really wanted to blog about today may seem a bit silly, or perhaps even off-topic when you come to realize the whole reason for this site. But I just wanted to be open and convey my thought's somewhere, and writing on this site just happens to be one of those outlets . I was also encouraged to blog about these thoughts, and maybe you guys could learn something from these words, or perhaps be provoked into deep thought. Number one, I have a crush on somebody. It's really no big deal, even though it's made into one by society today, but I'm just feeling like I'm not good enough for this guy. He's nice, smart, funny, and apparently so am I. I feel like one of the hardest things for me to do is prevent myself from putting my appearance and character down. Everyone has flaws, and everyone should acknowledge that they have flaws, but nobody should obsess over being perfect, and I find that I do. I'm not sure how much, but I believe that some confidence might help me become a more beautiful person, I'm just not exactly sure how to induce that confidence. I mean, just look at the people who don't seem like they would have anyone, but have lots of confidence. Crowds flock around them! I just need to learn how to become confident...

[ Continued ]

Debbie

Appearance

Race: Akvatari
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Birthday: 49 Fall, 489AV.
Birthplace: Abura, Akvatar

Appearance: Debbie, like most Akvatari, has a humanoid appearance above her waist save for her butterfly wings. Her lower half is that of a fur seal. The hair on her head and the lower half of her body are black. Her wings resemble that of a monarch butterfly, which are black and yellow in color. The skin on her upper torso is pale, as if she has poor blood circulation and no sun exposure. Often she is wearing the tools of her trade: a black beret and white face makeup along with black nail-paint.

Character Concept

Debbie is, well, a downer. She is one with her inherent misery and is silent most of the time. She expresses herself through mime. She often frowns and acts out depressing scenes of the conflicts of the day. When she speaks, it is generally in disapproval of some wrongdoing.


Language

Fluent Language: Common


...

[ Continued ]

So I have been in Mizahar for a month now and I feel like I've made absolutely no progress whatsoever. I mean, sure I have a good CS and a great character, but I only have 3 threads going right now and since she's only 14 my character is destined to be an orphan right now rather than get a job.

Has anyone ever felt like they still don't fit in after a while at mizahar? I talk to people in the chat, but it still feels like I barely know anybody. I really just want to get to know more people.

Fun fact # 3: My name means the same thing as Keira. "Pure."