[Issues found by Twister] My Character Profile

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My Character Profile

Postby Dastino on July 17th, 2013, 1:44 am

PC Name: Destino Marcus
Age: 21
Race: Vantha/Inarta
Birthdate: 492 34th of Summer
Birhplace: Zeltiva

Physical
At 5 feet, 11 inches, Destino has an unusual shade of black hair so dark, it looks purple. He has very chiseled features that helped him win a contest of beauty that paid for his dinner. He's relatively light, only weighing 139 lbs.

History
Born to a Vantha mother and an Inarta father near Zeltiva University, Destino was fairly spoiled as a child. He lived a small mansion because of his mother's inheritance, and had 2 child butlers, who were his best friends through most of his childhood. They were freed at his 14th birthday, and he found more at his local magicians school. After moving on from average Hypnotism, Dastino moved back to his home in Zeltiva to study non-magical things.

Character Concept
Dastino has a great sense of humor and is always in the greatest of moods. He has yet to find a god/goddess to worship, though has thought about not worshipping one at all. He's the kind of person who'll shack up a complete stranger, and will do good things for free.

Possessions
1 Purple Gray set of clothes
A pair of gray steel-toed boots
1 Oak wood wand (12 inches)
Toiletries ( toothbrush, sheets, toilet paper, etc.)
1 week's worth of food
1 Snowy Owl
Eating Knife
Waterskin
Flint & Steel

Heirloom- Trained Snowy Owl
Ledger- 600 GM's
-20 GM for wand
-15 SM for Reading Glasses

Skills (+15 pts.)
Magical: Reimancy- 11 pts.
Hypnotism- 15 pts.
Morphing-10 pts.
Projection- 10 pts.

Cooking- 9 pts.

Fluent: Common
Basic: Char
Poor: Symenos

Housing- Zeltiva University Dormitories
Last edited by Dastino on July 22nd, 2013, 12:00 am, edited 6 times in total.
The Charismatic Mage
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Dastino
Mage
 
Posts: 20
Words: 4004
Joined roleplay: July 16th, 2013, 8:44 pm
Location: Zeltiva
Race: Mixed blood
Character sheet

My Character Profile

Postby Abstract on July 28th, 2013, 1:49 am

Image

Hi Dastino, I'm Abstract! I was reading through your CS, and I noticed a number of problems! Please fix these as soon as possible, and until this intervention is gone, you can not continue to post. So to the list...

- If you are a Vantha/Inarta mix, you would be listed as Human, Mixed, rather than Mixed Blood

- There are no such things as wands in Mizahar, so please remove this from your ledger/inventory

- There are no reading glasses on the price list. However, there are 'Spectacles', which cost 50gm

- You need to label your character sheet as your character's name

- You have 55 skill points, but you only start with 50. You have also left out the 15 points racial bonus in any skill of your choice, so please add that!

- Humans are unable to speak Char, as it is a language restricted to the Charboda. Please remove this from your skills. Also, since Symenos is the language of the Symenestra, and is rarely spoken by humans, you should have a reason in your history for being able to speak this.
- Your skills are set up incorrectly. You need to format them like either of these examples..

Example 1:

Skills Exp Total Proficiency
Auristics 15 SP, 72 XP 87 Master
Seduction 18 SP, 3 XP 21 Novice
Glassworking 10 RB, 12 SP, 35 XP 57 Expert
Intelligence 5 SP 5 Novice
Sewing 13 XP 13 Novice
Weapon: Javelin 1 XP 1 Novice
Acrobatics 85 XP 85 Master


SP = Starting Points
RB = Racial Bonus Points
XP = Earned Experience Points


Example 2:

Auristics: 87/100 (15 SP)
Seduction: 21/100 (18 SP)
Glassworking: 57/100 (10 RB) (12 SP)
Intelligence: 5/100 (5 SP)
Sewing: 13/100
Weapon, Javelin: 1/100
Acrobatics: 85/100


Notice how the Starting Points, Racial Bonus Points, and Earned Experience Points are all notated differently. This allows Storytellers and other staff to review your Character Sheet more accurately, and ensure that everything is accurate and up to date.

- Lastly, you have no lores listed! You are allowed to start with 2 lores. See here for more information on lores!

**Also, once you have fixed the problems, please PM Jupiter**
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