Bast

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Moderator: Liaisons

Bast

Postby Jay Dasher on May 28th, 2012, 7:58 pm

Character's Name
Jay Dasher




Basic Information

Race: Kelvic cat
Birthday & Age : 60th spring, 510 AV, 25 Human Years.
Gender:Male

Languages


Language 1: Common
Language 2: Cat
Physical Description
sleek figure with slit eyes and sharp nails. When in cat form is pure black. green eyes, 6 foot 2, Black hair.

Training
Voiding-26
Riemancy-4
Glyphing-20
Hunting-10
Lore of Kelvic
Lore of Exhaustion from Changing Form
Equipment and Possessions
1 Set of Clothing (cloak/coat & footwear included)
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
1 Set of Toiletries (comb, brush, razor, soap)
1 eating knife
Flint & Steel
1 large tent (4 person), large tarp, 100 ft of rope, flint & steel, lantern, 2 torches, bedroll, blanket, fishing tackle & hooks, Gildling, a full set of tack, and a large set of saddlebags.
Ledger
100gm starting package
-60gm from [Location] University of Zeltiva Registrar's Office
Total 40gm
Thread List

[Zeltiva] Storyteller Guide and Requests
[Alvadas] Storyteller Guides and Requests
[Location] University of Zeltiva Registrar's Office
Bast's Plotnotes
[Location] The Southern Trading Post (City Entrance)
[Alvadas Location] The Gaping Maw
Last edited by Jay Dasher on June 12th, 2012, 7:38 am, edited 4 times in total.
Jay Dasher
Player
 
Posts: 25
Words: 5853
Joined roleplay: May 28th, 2012, 7:36 pm
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

Bast

Postby Persona on June 30th, 2012, 5:50 pm

Moderator Intervention!


Hi there! Persona, AS of Ravok speaking. I was looking at your CS and noticed a few things that don't quite jive with the Lore. Don't worry, I'm here to help you make sure you get the kinks worked out.

Things that need fixing :
Name:
The name on your CS does not match your account name. Please fix this. Also, you may want to check your threads and make sure you’re using whichever name is correct.

Age/Bday:
Your birthday is fine, but there’s no concept of “human years.” Please remove that part from your age. (The appropriate place for such a thing would be under physical appearance, where you could say that his human form appears to be about 25 years old.)

Skills:
Please specify which skills are from your starting package and which are your racial bonus.

You only have 4 points in Reimancy. You may not start with less than 5 points in any one skill. Also, please spell Reimancy correctly.

Languages:
Please indicate your level of fluency for your languages, i.e. Common (Fluent).

Thread List:
Please provide links to the threads you’ve roleplayed in. This helps to keep track of where your character is and what they’ve been doing.
Several of your threads have no dates. It is required for all in-character threads to be time-stamped. Please put an in-game date in each of your threads, and add the threads to the thread list on your CS.

I notice you’ve posted in at least four cities within a very short in-game time frame, including a post in three separate cities on the same day! It takes a very long time to travel between cities, which makes it impossible for you to be in so many places at once. Please choose one city, and post ONLY in that city.


Minor things to think about :
If you want a picture in your CS, you can enclose the image url in [img] tags, rather than having to click on a link to see the picture.

History:
While history is not required, it might be nice to have just a short blurb indicating where you came from and where you’ve been.

Skills:
Be aware that Kelvics are for the most part simple animals, and as such have no interest in magic and find it very difficult to learn. They are technically capable of learning magic, but I would recommend you think carefully about why your character knows magic.

Housing:
Since Kelvics are animals first and foremost, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me for one to own a horse. You are technically permitted to have the travel starting package, but you may want to think more carefully about why your character chose that. Perhaps when you choose a city, you may also want to think about more permanent housing.

Heirloom:
I notice you have no heirloom. You are not required to have one, but you are entitled to a single item valued at 50 GM or less to supplement your starting package.


Please make the changes I've noted above, and send me a Private Message. Upon receiving your message, and reviewing your changes, I will remove the Intervention. If other mods or CS liasons find something I missed, please be as courteous with them as you are with me.
User avatar
Persona
The Wildcard
 
Posts: 115
Words: 41121
Joined roleplay: June 17th, 2012, 9:59 pm
Location: Ravok
Race: Staff account
Office


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