Mereus Thatcher

[Mereus]

Mereus Thatcher Human, age 23 Born Fall 49th, 489 AV [concept] Mereus is aware that, through his life, no one has ever found him very impressive. Although he is bright, he does not think well on his feet. He is often conversationally awkward and socially evasive, prone to nervous ticks when put on the spot. Quickly suspicious of others, Mereus frequently suffers from paranoia and assumes that he is always being harshly judged. He counters this by reassuring himself of their flaws and shortcomings, blaming them for not seeing his better qualities. Although he is occasionally clumsy, Mereus resists feelings of guilt and refuses to admit fault. Despite his introverted nature, Mereus is not without empathy for others. He believes himself well-meaning and tries to do what he feels is best. He entertains a strange sort of idealism, claiming to see the greater picture and believing that the end can justify the means. Sometimes, to maintain balance in the world, people get what they don't deserve. Few, in his opinion, understand this vital universal rule. Mereus stands at a moderate height, just beneath six feet with lean build. He has never been very fast or strong, even in comparison to women, and so avoids entering any sort of arduous physical activity. His curling, dark hair is chronically unruly, but he has it trimmed to an agreeable length on occasion. Usually down-turned, his eyes are the color of dark, bluish slate. Deaf in one ear, Mereus is slowly losing his hearing in the other. [history] Mereus is the younger of two sons and the middle child of three. His younger sister, a delicate blonde thing full of whimsy and innocence, died in her early teens from a mouth infection that spread into her jaw and tongue. His older brother is also blond, quite a bit taller than Mereus, and broad shouldered like their father. He has only faint memories of his mother, who died from blood loss soon after his youngest sibling was born. Although it devastated him to lose her, he never once blamed his sister for her death. Like his sister, Mereus was often sickly as a child. When he was only three, a terrible ear infection left him permanently deaf in one ear. He continues to have complications, and the remainder of his hearing is gradually fading through the years. He expects to be completely deaf by his thirties. Though they have origins in Zeltiva, the Thatcher family resided in a dusty hovel in Ahnatep. Mereus' father was a glassworker, a trade he expected both sons to pick up. The elder brother was always naturally talented at the art, while Mereus struggled with his technique for years. His sister took on the role of a homemaker, preparing meals for her father and brothers from a young age. Mereus had a strong fondness for her, as she offered him compassion and tenderness that no one else would give. He considered himself the least favorite of his father's children. Her death was unspeakably tragic for everyone, particularly because she suffered for quite a long time before finally slipping away. Not long after, Mereus' father forced him to leave the home, as his glasswork was not making enough money to help keep three mouths fed. He was sixteen at the time, but told himself his father and brother never appreciated him and believed himself better off. Some years later, he would leave Ahnatep and every bad memory behind him, migrating far north to Avanthal. His glassworking improved drastically once he left his family behind, which he suspects is no coincidence.   Skills Skill # Level Notes Glassworking 30 Competent Mereus has become a moderately skilled glassblower, able to create vials and vases with a uniform structure for both practical and decorative works. He has begun to learn sculpting and bitwork, and can now fuse pieces of glass together, although the integrity of the fusion is questionable. (30 from Starting Package) Larceny 15 Novice Though not a regular thief, desperate times occasionally call for desperate measures. When no one is looking, Mereus may pick up something that isn't his, though his subtlety is clumsy and lacking. (15 from Racial Bonus) Reimancy 15 Novice Mereus is well into practicing his recently acquired Reimancy magic, fire being his first element. His grasp on the skill is precarious, and he struggles with controlling conjured res. (15 from Starting Package) Subterfuge 5 Novice Sometimes, deception is more profitable than honesty. Mereus' shifty nature and nervous ticks are dead giveaways when he lies, but he has learned to avoid lying when there is a high risk of getting caught. (5 from Starting Package)   Lores Types of sand viable for glassmaking Burying sins   Languages Level Notes Common fluent Mereus feels that everyone should know this language. The world is a small, dangerous place. Communication and commiseration are key for survival. This language comes to him as naturally as breathing. Arumenic basic Learned for the sake of surviving in Ahnatep. The Jackals used this language, so it was beneficial to have a good understanding of what they were saying. Mereus does not care for this dialect. Tawna poor In his dealings with the Chaktawe, Mereus picked up a few key words and phrases in Tawna that helped him communicate at a low level with the strange desert race. Attempts at the language are awkward and mispronounced.   Gnosis Tatani [Eywaat; Negative] Cursed: A cursed one has the ominous dread of being watched all the time, which is usually accurate. He is trailed by birds, eager to annoy and steal. If he stays in one place too long, hundreds of birds will gather around his abode. Occasional physical attacks from birds are unpleasant but not serious. A negative mark from Eywaat begins as a patch of flaky gray skin on the shoulder, resembling the molting process of a bird.   Inventory Item Value Acquired Information Simple Shirt - SP Grayed beige, made from undyed linen. Simple Pants - SP Dark gray, worn at the knees. Undergarments - SP Probably not flattering. Simple Coat - SP Dark, aged. made from cotton. Simple Boots - SP Stained leather. Leather Belt 2sm SP Too large for him. A self-made hole has been punched through to fit his slender frame. Waterskin - SP Holds water. Backpack - SP Contains: wood comb, wood brush, soap, razor, week of rations, eating knife, and flint & steel. Glassblower Toolkit - Heirloom This toolkit consists mainly of a clay blowpipe and a collection of simple clay molds capable of creating basic shapes out of glass. Stolen from his father's workshop. Apron 3sm Ahnatep A simple drab, linen apron, used to protect his clothing and person while doing glass work. It is badly stained with soot and char in the middle. High boots 1gm Avanthal Made of thick leather and lined with wool. Fur-trim Leather Cloak 12gm Avanthal A very heavy cloak, well made and intended for cold winter weather. Leather exterior, superfine wool interior, with bushy fur trim. Simple Gloves 1gm Ahnatep Thin leather gloves used to protect his hands during glasswork. Badly stained with soot and burned in patches. Winter Gloves 3gm Avanthal Leather gloves with a fine wool interior. Meant for colder weather. In good shape. Wool Scarf 1sm, 5cm Avanthal Undyed. Greyish off-white. Charcoal Gray Cape 3gm, 75cm Ahnatep A long, rarely worn garment of cotton. Dyed dark gray. 3 Linen Shirts 4gm, 5sm Ahnatep Three thin shirts, dyed in earthy hues. 5 Wool Shirts 7gm, 5sm Avanthal Five woolen shirts, usually worn over the linen ones, also dyed in pleasing shades. Woolen Hood 1sm, 5cm Avanthal Good quality woolen hood. Snowshoes 8sm Avanthal Unflattering but functional.   Housing Temporary lodging at the Savintar Warrens in Avanthal.   Personal Ledger 564.3 gold-rimmed miza 100gm (starting Winter) +500gm (Cashed in Housing) -35gm, 7sm (Starting Gear) 564.3gm [threads]

[Mereus]

' Did Nothing Wrong [Meeting Eywaat] Spring, 506 Ahnatep Age 16 It wasn't his fault. Click for gnosis story. : Part of the blame could go to Mereus' father for ejecting his own son from his home. It had been two days now, and this had been the second morning he'd woken in the street, forced to face the reality that had become his life. It wasn't bad enough that Resa was gone. He had kept his eyes closed as long as he could, even as consciousness slowly crept back into him. He could hear people shuffling outside, shouting, laughing. The air smelled of dust and filth, and early in the day it already began to grow hot. As long as his eyes were closed, Mereus could still pretend that he was back home, and not curled up in the remains of some old ruined structure. His sister, still alive and healthy, would be singing as she made breakfast for her father and brothers. The thin blanket he'd used to keep himself warm during the freezing desert nights ultimately began overheating him, until Mereus had to tear it off and thrust it away from him. He opened his eyes drearily, giving a bitter, cursory glance to the ruins around him and the golden, early morning sky above. For a long while he sat there alone, his thin frame propped against a sandstone wall, contemplating his dreary existence. He wasn't meant to live like this—and that's exactly why any of this happened at all. It wouldn't have gone that way if he'd been allowed to stay home just a few more days. He wasn't in his right mind. The greater portion of the fault belonged to that woman, the Chaktawe who came into the city that day. What was she even doing there? They were nomads, weren't they? It never made sense to Mereus. If someone needed to visit the city to pick up necessary items, why not just live there? It wasn't her first trip into Ahnatep, clearly. She knew what she was doing. Mereus could see her from where he'd been standing in the alleyway, on the edge of the ruins and closer to the functioning, "normal" part of Ahnatep. Hanging from a strap on her arm, she carried a painted bag, decorated with beads and feathers. Whenever she purchased something from the stands, she would reach in and draw out a handful of glinting coins. When she concluded her business and turned to leave the stands behind her, Mereus slipped further into the alley, tucking himself around the next corner. She either didn't see him, or didn't care that he was there. There was nothing very imposing about him. He wasn't a thief, anyway. He was just down on his luck, starved and dirty. Mereus was taking a drink from his waterskin when she actually passed by him. This would be easy—it should have been easy. The canteen was dropped, insured by the rawhide tether attached to his belt. In the same instant, Mereus surged forward and grabbed the bulk of the woman's bag, and then attempted to bolt further down the alley. The bag fought back, and Mereus was nearly thrown off his feet when it wouldn't come with him. He turned and faced the woman, who had a surprisingly strong grip on the bag's strap. She yelled something at him in Tawna. Still struggling to pull his prize from her, Mereus stared into her eerie, black eyes. Her face was adorned by a white stripe, contrasting against her copper skin in a way that reminded him that they were not the same. "Let go!" he shouted at her, twisting away violently. The strap on her bag tore and broke off, and Mereus stumbled forward as her grip was severed. Victorious, he began to flee with his newfound fortune, but when he glanced over his shoulder, he realized she wasn't chasing him. When the strap had broken, the Chaktawe woman had stumbled as well, but she tripped over a sandstone block and fell back. She was on the ground now, and wasn't moving. As Mereus lingered to watch her, a new brand of panic began to well in the pit of his chest. Near her head, he saw an odd, red patch on the ground. No. You can't. Mereus was frozen in place, unsure of what to do. This wasn't his fault. "I told you to let go." A quiet whimper sounded from somewhere nearby. Mereus turned his head, spotting a young boy emerging cautiously from another alleyway. He spoke a simple, pleading word in Tawna, one Mereus knew. Mother. The boy then turned to look at Mereus, his little black eyes widening into saucers. If they aged the same as humans, he couldn't have been older than four or five. Mereus held up his hand. "Wait…" He didn't. The child turned and began to run in fear. "Wait!" The contents of Mereus' new bag rattled as he darted after the child. He couldn't let him run away, not yet. He would probably tell a guard, or something. What if his father was nearby? Mereus couldn't get in trouble with the Jackals, not on top of everything else that had happened. It would be too much. "Hold on!" The gap was closed in only a few strides. His hand closed around the boy's little arm, eliciting a sharp scream. Mereus' other hand clapped over his mouth to silence him. He held the young child's squirming body close, trying to keep him quiet. Mereus' dull hearing could pick up traces of voices nearby, indicating that someone had heard the commotion and came to investigate. More present, and fervent, was the spirited cry of a nearby crow, cawing loudly as if to express what the boy could not. Mereus pulled the boy into a shadowy niche, sinking down and holding him tightly against his own body to avoid letting him alert the passersby to their location. The child began sobbing once he realized that struggling would not help him. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay. Be quiet." Mereus was panting, feeling in shock from the drastic turn of events. Just a mere minute ago, everything had been relatively fine. This wasn't real. It couldn't be happening. "This is your mother's fault. If she didn't fight back, she wouldn't have fallen. Look, I'm sure she's fine. She just hit her head a little. She'll be fine." She'll be fine. The boy probably didn't know any Common. It was never certain whether he understood what Mereus was saying. The crow continued its rasping song. "Wish that stupid bird would shut up. AHH—" Mereus pried the skin of his palm from the young boy's teeth, and blood quickly began to seep into his hand, mingling with dirt. "You petching little monster!" He clapped his other hand over the boy's mouth, this time forcing his jaw to stay shut. The boy tried screaming through his nose, so Mereus pinched that shut too. "Just be quiet! Let me think, alright? You can't tell anyone." The boy did not stop struggling, so Mereus did not let go. He held on, easily much stronger than the child, held on until the boy's strength waned. Then he stopped moving at all. Except for the incessant crow, the moment had grown quiet. Mereus swallowed, moistening his dry tongue, and tried to get his breathing under control. The boy did not try to wriggle free, but instead hung limply in Mereus' arms. Mereus slowly let go, his mind too numb to think. The boy's weight sank and sagged off to the side. Gently, Mereus set him on the ground, staring at his round, tear-streaked face. The paint on his eyes had been smudged in such a way that it told the story of how Mereus' hands had held him. His black eyes stared out, empty. "This is your fault," he whispered quietly, running his fingers over loose strands of the boy's black hair. "It didn't have to be like this. I said to be quiet. You just had to listen." Setting down the woman's bag, Mereus reached into his own pack and drew out the thin blanket he'd been using the past couple of nights. If anyone found the little boy's body just lying here like this, someone would panic. They would never understand what happened, that Mereus didn't really want to hurt anyone. He draped the cover over the boy's tiny frame, completely obscuring his shape. It would take a while for anyone to be curious enough to pull back the blanket to discover who was there. Maybe it was better this way. If the boy's mother was dead, he probably would have starved to death anyway. Someone might have seen this as a mercy. Mereus, at least, could see the good in this. Everything happened for a reason, right? Mereus rose to his feet, picking up the bag again and clutched it to his chest. The tighter he squeezed it, the less he could feel his hands shaking. Although he couldn't tear his eyes off of the now concealed corpse, his sin was easier to look upon as a nondescript lump beneath a brown, fraying blanket. This was how he would hold this image in his memory. Not a boy's frightened face, smudged in white paint, but a lumpy bundle of old linen forgotten in some dusty alleyway. That's all it was. He forced himself to turn around, purging the thing from his vision. Although it felt as if his shoes were caught in pools of molasses, Mereus managed to remove himself from the niche, stepping back into the unforgiving sunlight. He glanced upward at the sky, illuminated by Syna. She saw nothing, he reminded himself. It may as well not have happened at all. "What didn't happen?" he asked himself. A short, nervous laugh erupted from his throat. That bird was still cawing away, filling the air with its hoarse cry. It suddenly changed in volume and tone, accompanied by the flutter of wings, as the glossy crow entered Mereus' line of sight. He jumped, startled, then glared at the animal with sudden ferocity. The bird, unfazed, hung open its curved beak and berated him relentlessly. "Gods! Just shut up!" Mereus thought he could hear voices again behind him, so without looking over his shoulder, he began to jog down the alleyway. All of the recent ugliness was left behind him, someone else's problem now. It was impossible to change the fate of passing strangers, so he tried not linger on it. The future now looked bright; Mereus was now significantly richer, not just in coin, but also everything that woman had bought at the stands. He'd eat well tonight. When it felt like there was enough distance between himself and the busier parts of the city, Mereus came to a stop and sat himself on the crumbling remains of a wall, setting his new bag in his lap. He sent a quick look about his surroundings, content that the area seemed clear of threats, then began to dig through the contents of his prize and measure what he'd won. After evening fell and the desert began to cool, Mereus eventually found himself at the Pavilion market. He sold the beaded bag for extra miza, then bought a nice, new cotton blanket and two skewers of hot, roasted lamb. At nightfall, he was still homeless and had to stake out a place to sleep amid the Ahnatep ruins, but he was feeling a lot better than he had that morning. His reality was becoming a little easier. Warm beneath his blanket, with a full, sated stomach, Mereus had no trouble getting to sleep. His dreams would be violent and unsettling, sickening colors and images set to the haunting, throaty rhapsody of an angry crow. In his mind, his hearing was not so diminished, so the caws were deafening. He could hear a child crying and a woman screaming furiously, their hands clawing at his skin. Frantic and sobbing, Mereus batted at them, trying to twist away, but sandstone walls blocked his escape. A writhing Mereus forced himself awake, clawing his way back into consciousness. The starry sky quickly appeared and soothed him while he caught his breath, and cool air passed against the sweat on his face. Every time he tried close his eyes again, he could see that bundle of fabric tucked away in a dark corner. Sleep was out of the question, so he reluctantly sat himself up and began attempting to clear his head. "I know what you did." A deep voice penetrated the quiet. "Ah!" Mereus hit his head against the wall as he tried to back further into the stone corner. Gritting his teeth, he snapped his head toward the voice, his eyes wide with both terror and the beginnings of rage. Leth painted the silhouette of a tall man, perched within the remains of a low lying window frame. It was difficult to make out much in the low light, but his shoulders brandished the feathered mantle of a Chaktawe tribesman. His dark hair looked almost blue in the moonlight. "The petch?! Who are you and what in Hai do you want!" Mereus hand groped around behind him, reaching for his pack. "I didn't do anything!" "Really? A little bird told me differently." The stranger removed himself from the window, standing fully on the ground. Mereus scrambled to his feet, his blanket sliding off of him like a snakeskin. Both hands were empty, but he kept one partially hidden behind his back to throw doubt on his defenselessness. "Stay away from me! I have a knife!" Almost like a bird, the man cocked his head to the side. "That young child did nothing to you." Mereus shook his head and clenched his teeth, panic manifesting as as a knot in the back of his throat. When he parted his lips to breath, he nearly sobbed. "I had no other choice. He would have told." There was no one else in that alley but that stupid bird. How could anyone have found out? Becoming rapidly uncomfortable at the idea of debating over what had happened the day before, Mereus suddenly shot himself like an arrow out of his corner, making a desperate run for the exit back onto the street. The stranger moved more quickly than Mereus could anticipate and a strong hand grabbed his shoulder. "NO!" He shrieked and twisted violently away, his thin frame making it easy to slip out of his shirt and leave it as a decoy while he continued to flee. Nearly tripping, he scraped his hand on the earth as he struggled to keep himself upright. His ankle twisted and he fell anyway, colliding painfully with the ground. The bare skin of his torso was raked across small rocks and dirt. More terrified than hurt, Mereus rolled over and faced his attacker. There was no one there. He'd left. Mereus' wide, blue eyes darted around in bewilderment, but he couldn't find anyone. Who in Mizahar was that? Was the stranger just antagonizing him? "I didn't do anything," Mereus whimpered to himself quietly, painstakingly pushing himself back up. Expecting a trick, he kept a wary vigil as he limped back to his belongings. His side and chest, which had slid across the dirt, ached as badly as his ankle, but his shoulder was burning from where that man had touched him. It was all just pain. It would pass. A bell or so later, the stranger hadn't returned. A regiment of Jackals never showed up to take him away. Mereus was no longer certain whether the man had even been real, or a figment from his dream. The pain in his shoulder subsided to a nagging itch—irritating, but he'd examine his wounds in the morning. Eventually, he found the courage to curl up beneath his blanket again and make another attempt at sleep. As circular thoughts and regret pooled in his mind, the numbing resolve he'd maintained through the rest of that day began to evaporate. His body quaked with quiet sobs in recurring rhythms until sunrise.

[Mereus]

' Meeting Mereus General Information : 1. What is your Name? Mereus Willem Thatcher 2. Do you go by a nickname or pet name? No. My younger sister called me Mery, but I hated it then and I'd hate it now. 3. How old are you? I turned 23 last Fall. 4. What is your height? Five foot ten, I think. 5. What is your weight? Can't remember. Not much, though. Aesthetics : 1. Describe yourself as you see yourself. I am a young man with curly hair, skinny frame, a little pale, dark eyes. I get sort of scraggly if I don't shave. 2. Describe yourself as others typically see you. Probably not much different. I'd guess they think I dress funny. And my fingers are too long. 3. What is your favorite body feature? I tend to have disputes with them all on occasion. Lately my hair has been behaving. More or less. 4. How physically fit are you? Not very. I work with my hands. Do you expect me to be an athlete? 5. How do you typically dress and what is your style? I live in Avanthal. I dress warm. There is no "style". Family : 1. Who are your parents and what are they like? My father is Willem Thatcher. My mother was Yvette. Willem is a demanding, foul-mouthed wretch who is never satisfied. I don't remember much about my mother, except that she was beautiful and kind. 2. Do you have any brothers or sisters? I have an older brother and a younger sister. My brother, Thom, is a smug, condescending vagik. My sister, Anora, was sweet and lovely, but she died much too young. 3. What is your extended family like? Can't say I've ever met any of them. 4. Do you consider close friends as important or more/less important than family? More important. Family will take you for granted. 5. Do you treat animals like family? I've never had pets. Location : 1. Where were you born? Ahnatep. 2. Where do you live now? Avanthal. 3. If you could live anywhere in Mizahar where would that be? If I could live anywhere, I'd choose somewhere warm and mild and green. Unfortunately, I'm not given much choice. 4. Do you have a favorite place to vacation or spend leisure time? In my home. 5. Where do you fear to be? I'm not afraid of being anywhere. Where I live is a matter of strong, but voluntary preference. Traits : 1. Do you have any physical weaknesses (disease, scars, and missing limbs?) I don't hear so well. I'm deaf in one ear. The other isn't as good as it used to be. 2. Are you right handed or left handed? Left. 3. What languages do you speak? What do you sound like? Do you have an accent? I speak Common, mainly. It has an Ahnatep accent, I guess, which is harsher than other regions. I also speak some Arumenic, and a little Tawna. Trash languages I used to get by with the locals. 4. Do you have any odd mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I guess I'm prone to nervous ticks when I'm, well, nervous. Stuttering sometimes. Avoiding eye contact. I don't mean to, but it's hard for me to focus when I'm anxious. 5. Do you have (or want to get) any tattoos or piercing? Why do you have them (or will get them)? I don't have any. Guess I could, if there was ever a reason. Occupations : 1. What is your occupation? I work with glass, either by melting sand or melting scrap glass pieces. 2. Do you like/dislike your work? Why? It's alright. It was a family trade, so mainly it puts food in my gullet. I'm good at it, that's all. 3. If you could be anything you wanted to, what would you be? Hm... rich, I guess. Maybe a noble, like in Ahnatep. Or a governor of some kind. 4. What occupation do you admire the most? Why? Despite being Eypharian, I've always admired the Pressorah of Ahnatep, partly for her humble beginnings. 5. What occupation do you least like? Why? I don't know. Whatever would have you shoveling horse dung. Childhood : 1. What sort of child were you? I was quiet and unhappy. My father always asked too much of me. 2. What is your favorite memory from childhood? Once, I remember crying in the middle of the night, after my father had broken one of the first glass bottles I had made out of a drunken fit. My sister heard me, and came to comfort me. I'll never forgot the moment she just came and hugged me. 3. What is your worst memory from childhood? When I watched her die in her bed. I was sixteen. She was thirteen. 4. What sort of relationship did you have with your parents? My father regularly yelled. I just tried to stay out of his way. 5. Who was your most influential rolemodel? I never had one. Education : 1. What sort of education do you have? Self-educated. My brother taught me to read. Our mother taught him. The rest I mostly learned on the streets of Ahnatep. 2. Do you like/dislike learning? It's fine. 3. Where or how did you learn most of your skills/abilities? Father taught them to me. 4. How do you learn best? When the instructor is patient and forgiving. Fat chance, right? 5. What are your educational goals for the future? I don't need any. Relationships : 1. Do you form close bonds with people? Why? Why not? Typically not. It's hard for me to trust people. 2. Do you trust people easily? If not, why not? Because people lie and take advantage of each other all the time. Even parents and family. 3. Do you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Completely straight. I like women only. 4. Have you ever been kissed? If so, describe the first time. It was clandestine and forbidden. I loved it. We were both too young to know what we were doing. 5. Have you ever had sex? If so, describe the first time. The first time... I don't know, I don't really want to talk about it. But yes, I've had sex. Drugs and Alcohol : 1. Have you ever been drunk? If so, describe your first time. I got into my father's liquor once. He was furious but I was too drunk to care. 2. Do you like to drink on a regular basis? No. It makes me feel sick. But I do drink sometimes. 3. What sort of alcohol do you prefer? Beers, I guess. 4. Have you ever tried drugs (mood altering substances)? If so, which kinds and what did you think of them? I've wanted to, but I've never had access to them. 5. What do you think of drugs and alcohol? Be specific. He shrugs and says nothing, looking mildly irritated. Likes and Dislikes : 1. What are your hobbies? Mostly just my job, I guess. 2. Do you like to read? Not really. 3. What annoys you more than anything else? People judging me without knowing me. Happens quite a lot. 4. What do you find the most relaxing activity to do? Afternoon naps. 5. What kinds of things embarrass you? Why? Failing even after I've given it an honest effort. Happened a lot as a child. Favorites : 1. What is your favorite color or colors? Probably blue. 2. What is your favorite time of day? Evening. 3. What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? Morwen's Lights are like nothing I've ever seen before. 4. What do you like to eat? What do you hate to eat? I like spice bread. I hate any food that has sand in it. 5. What is your favorite type of weather? Does any kind scare you? I like storms and rain. No weather scares me. Outlook : 1. Are you optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimism is in many ways a more positive outlook. I'm rarely disappointed. 2. What are your religious views? I don't really have any. The gods seem like cruel jesters to me. 3. Would you be able to kill? If I really had to. 4. What are your views on sex? I like sex. People have too many reservations about it. 5. What, in your opinion, makes a successful life? Lots of money and power. Actions : 1. What is the worst and best thing you’ve ever done? The best thing is leaving Ahnatep. The worst thing... Having to fight for my survival. That's all I'm going to say. 2. What is your greatest regret? That my sister died instead of me. We were both always sick, all the time. I don't understand why she had to be the one to die. 3. What is your best/worst memory? My best memory is my sister. She was my best friend. The worst memory I have is watching her get sicker and sicker until she finally died. We all thought she would make it, like all the other times... 4. If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be and why? I would have been nicer to my sister. Maybe if she was happier, she wouldn't have died. Or, maybe, if my mother hadn't died. My whole family could have been happier. 5. What are you the most proud of doing in your life? Surviving on my own even after I was thrown out. Emotions : 1. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with others? Not very. Why let others know what you are thinking? They usually use it against you. 2. Do you have any biases or prejudices? Maybe. I prefer humans to non-humans. Nothing wrong with that. 3. What makes you happy? Acceptance. Maybe friendship, if I could ever trust someone enough. 4. Who or what, if anything, would you die for? I don't know. 5. What makes you angry? Selfish people. Relationships : 1. In general, how do you treat others? With respect and distance. 2. Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Right now? That would be yours truly. 3. Who is the person you respect the most, and why? I respect myself for having survived on my own this long. 4. Do you have a spouse or significant other? If not, describe an ideal lover. I don't have anyone. I'd like someone who was kind, carefree, loving, and accepting. 5. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? I don't trust anyone, no. Group Situations : 1. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Avoiding conflict is better for everyone. 2. Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? No. Why would I? 3. Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? No. Crowds bother me. 4. Do you care what others think of you? Not in the slightest. 5. What do you think of others, in general? People can be selfish. I've come to terms with that. Self Image : 1. What is your greatest strength as a person? My stubborn willingness to exist despite how little people want me around. 2. What is your greatest weakness? I suppose I try too hard. Give too much to people and expect them to return the favor. Foolish, I know. 3. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? I guess I'd like to be a better glassblower than my brother. 4. Are you generally introverted or extroverted? The first one, probably. 5. Are you generally organized or messy? I try to stay organized or I get in my own way. Beliefs : 1. What God or Goddess do you find most appealing, if any? They're all a little overrated. Morwen seems nice, I guess. 2. Which God or Goddess do you fear, if any? I don't fear any gods, but I don't particularly like Eywaat. 3. Do you have any Gnosis Marks? If so, how did you receive them? Eywaat gave me a gnosis curse when I was only a kid. Assaulted me in the middle of the night. I guess he thought it was funny. 4. What lengths would you go to to please your deity? This doesn't apply to me. I have nothing to offer them anyway. 5. Where do you draw the line at pleasing your deity? What is too much? Gods are immortal. I'm not. I don't see what they could want from me. Life & Death : 1. What do you absolutely live for? Good question. 2. What is the best part of life? Proving yourself to others. 3. What is the best part of death? It's peaceful, I guess. A final release from it all. 4. If you could choose, how would you want to die? Peacefully and quietly in my sleep. 5. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? That I clawed my way through life without ever needing anyone.