Horrible Confrontations (Zandelia)

[Ana Sol Starris]

Spring 28th, 513AV Safe Haven Hostel For once, Ana had decided to hang about the Hostel instead of sprinting out the door to get into trouble, instead, Ana loitered about and made her presence miniscule. An expression on her face that could have frozen the warmest of hearts and make them sob ice particles instead, sighs, colder than an artics chilly wind. If it had not been for awhile ago then perhaps she wouldn't have been acting this way? The reunion between Zandelia and Revy was quite sickening, it made her stomach flip, and flop pitifully as she felt her role model being taken away from her. First, violently, with a few spiteful, hateful words on Ana's part; and then the abscense of her mentors presence, which fueled the jelous thief. Personally, Ana would have absolutely loved to take Revy out of the picture, to cast her out and then keep Zandelia to herself- indefinitely. It sickened Ana to see the two women together. Petch Revy... I can't apologize to her... No matter what Ximal said, I'm not going to forgive that vagik for taking Zand away... Why couldn't she have died in.. where ever she went? Ana sulked about the Hostel, doing random things here and there for Vysia, taking note that many days before the terrible incident between the three women- her mentor had said it was common courtesy to help out. So Ana was putting those words into action and she did what she could, when she was asked why she suddenly wanted to help out- Ana only replied with a shrug, and said it was a way to thank the cripple monk (leaving out the part that she was doing it spurred on by actions beforehand) and that seemed to work, for now. Working through the day, Ana finally decided that she'd had enough, her attention span had died for housework. Zandelia was off somewheres doing something, and had definitely managed to get past Ana's observation skills. Or that seemed to be the case. Going to sit at one of the few tables for foreigners, her head leaning forwards to rest on the grainy wood; pressing her skin into its mold and depressing it for many chimes after. Her shoulders rose and fell with the deep sigh she exuded, shutting her eyes for a moment, enjoying the black respite that came with closing ones eyes.. Only to find her mind buzzing with constant activity, worry, fear, pain, she wanted to catch Zandelia alone to at least apologize to the older woman in hopes of amending their relationship. In truth, Ana slept less and less knowing that there was something wrong with how they were treating eachother, the thief simply couldn't ignore it, could not fear the consequences with confrontation, but she did. "..Zand.." Ana's eyes seemed to go distant as she continued to think, her thoughts always dwelling on Zandelia, and what Ana could have done to fix what she did.. What she should have done, but could not because going back in time was ludricous. I'm sorry.. So, so, so sorry.. So much, Zand.. Her eyes watered as she squeezed them tightly, covering her face with small, shaking hands as she hid her eyes from view. She remained as deathly silent as she could.

[Zandelia]

Zandelia had spent the majority of her day within the Safe Haven Hostel, introducing Revy to those within and helping her get acclimated within the city and into the Nykan culture. Revy was a very literal woman, she knew that well, and subtlety was not the mercenary’s strong point. She knew this well enough to spend quite a bit of time making sure that she was introduced to others whilst she was with her, she had a talent for making other see her point of view – a fact that Vysia had begun to harness with what seemed like relish. Under their slow, patient tending their bond had grown immeasurably stronger in a shorter time than expected. Perhaps it was mutual respect, perhaps it was their similarities – Zandelia was more disposed to the fact that they were so different.

It is strange really. What I thought I could perhaps have with Neilles I have with Revy, despite the fact we are as opposed in opinions as they come. There is a lesson there somewhere I think… she mused as she sat in her room, alone whilst Revy was about the city, hopefully not causing too much trouble.

She was still immeasurably angry with the shorter woman, she had refused to even speak to her, or of her, since that fateful day. She could perhaps claim that she had brought Revy and Zandelia together but she was not about to give Neilles that credit – not when she had done it without even trying to do so. The words that had been flung still stung her, the wounds of the lash still sinking deeply into her psyche. She could have forgiven the petite vajik if she had merely insulted herself, however the majority of her insults had been thrown at Revy and that…she could never forgive. Ximal had told her that he had talked with Neilles, however he had neglected to elaborate upon what had passed between them. Still she had noted easily how even he had disdainfully abandoned Neilles – that told her enough to make her mind up.

“She might as well be dead to me…petcher” she muttered, pushing back the anger as she raised herself from her chair, the energy for her work now leeched from her to the point of no return. She would return to her maps and plans later.

She pushed her way out of her room and descended the stairs, skirts held high so as to prevent herself from tripping upon the hem of her sapphire blue garment. She had recently gained a certain amount of autonomy within the hostel, Vysia not so much keeping tabs on her as merely accepting that she came and went at differing times of day. Still, she kept up her rapport with the female monk at all times, seeing no reason to abandon such a budding connection. She no longer was expected to wash her dishes but she did it anyway out of respect. She thought that that fact gained her more respect than anything else. Even the fact that she was slowly becoming the linking bridge between foreigner and citizen within the Safe Haven. Disputes of a small nature she helped Vysia to handle these days and she was happy enough to work her way up in the monk’s graces slowly.

“Afternoon Vysia, how goes it?” she asked as she came to the desk at which the female monk wrote interminably. She was yet to be told what exactly it was that was recorded but her interest was always piqued when she saw her close the ledger upon Zandelia’s arrival.

“IS it? It feels like morning to me, the day has been long and not peaceful” she responded, coldly for some reason.

“Why? What has happened? Do you need my help?”

“No…you need my help Amelias. You have treated your friend poorly indeed for one who goes out of their way to please others” Vysia told her as her eyes swept to the side and Neilles’ sunken form was revealed under Zandelia’s gaze. Her eyes hardened.

“Thank you, but she is no friend of mine. Not anymore. She went too far” she retorted, her voice a reflection of Vysia’s icy tones.

“Friend, true friend, often do. And I do not need trouble under my roof. You have helped me often of late, now allow me to help you for once. Bury whatever it is, I cannot protect you if you are involved in something dark here. I have obligations not even you can override. Go” she dismissed Zandelia with a turn of her head and went back to her work.

She sighed and walked over to Neilles, wishing that she could just throttle the woman and be done with it. She would talk to her out of respect to Vysia, to keep up appearances. Still, she would do nothing more than that. Neilles did not deserve her attention and if she were not forced to she would merely have just brushed by her – perhaps smack her in the back of the skull. As she approached she heard the muttered name and bridled – she had the nerve to try and ruin her plans here!

“I would not use that name if I were you…Ana. Not unless you want your name to slip past my lips,” she told the other woman coldly as she watched her bang her head against the wood, “finally snapped have we? I should have know really. What are you doing now?” she asked, very aware that Vysia’s eye would be upon her back.

I need to get her out of here so I can settle this outside of that woman’s gaze she told herself as her stare remained emotionless, a gaze that Neilles deserved but had never had the misfortune to have seen.

[Ana Sol Starris]

Zandelia's voice had come unexpectedly behind her, and gave Ana reason to jolt in her seat to look at the icy cold woman. Where did she come from... The thought was immediate upon Zandelia's arrival. Opening her eyes and peeking past her fingers to stare at Zandelia, and then away, she didn't like how she was being looked at- it made her feel alienated. Pressure built up in her chest, and rose upwards to grip at her eyeballs painfully as they stung with the tension, a need to cry formulating. It was by sheer will power that Ana did not burst into tears right then and there, her body uncurling as she sat up straight, turning only slightly to look Zandelia in the eye. The transformation had been slow, as if the strength of an old woman had replaced Ana's youthful, and energetic one on edge. Shivers wrapped themselves around her back, shoulders, and thighs quite effectively. Ana didn't like the words that Zandelia had said, each little daggers pointed at her throat and pin pricking her flesh grotequely, torturously. Get up.. Ana... Get up... Stand up and apologize to her, it is just a few words, three or more, or less, give or take a word or two- it is not hard. By reaction, the voice in her head mimicked Ximal's advice, paraphrased it in every way possible. Slowly, she turned her body fully, and stood up, careful in her movements as she watched for any of Zandelia's. How long had it been like this? To be forsaken by both her friends, Ximal, and Zandelia, to be hated.. She supposed she rightfully deserved anything horrible coming her way for what she had said, but her words of hurt had never been directed at Zandelia, Ana could never hate her bestfriend, sister, mother, and mentor, she just couldn't- and it was agonizingly painful feeling that Zandelia absolutely despised her.. For that whack job mercenary, too. The lonelyness she had felt in Sunberth had returned but transformed into something far worse, but this was no mere need to be with people, and to be around them, this was something more deep-seeded. To be cast out by the one that helped you grow so much, for so long.. it was.. it.. Opening her mouth to reply, Ana found her voice had become mute, every time Ana tried to form a long winded apology her hand gestures became jerky, and her eyes fell away. Squeezing themselves shut as she forced herself to stop, and try again. "Z-..Amelia..I.." She managed to choke out without looking at Zandelia. C'mon you fool... Just apologize already. I can't. Ana argued back. Yes you can, three simple little words, or just two- you pick. The thief's eyes glanced upwards to Zandelia's one good one, before sheepishly returning to the floor, no matter what... Ana wasn't going to be able to reply, not then, not now, not ever, her hand clenched around her arm with fingernails digging into cloth and flesh; shoulders shaking, and eyes tensed up as she stared harder downwards. Why was she so stupid? Why was she so petching... The tears sprung at her eyes, cheeks becoming hot, and her entire body flooded itself with heat as she tried to force something out of her to reply to Zandelia apropriately. Inhaling, she gripped her arm harder and shook as she forced herself to look up once more to meet that icy gaze staring down at her, a type of stare that pierced her heart and dug its way into her defences, ripping and tearing at her already tattered sanity. She couldn't look Zandelia in the face for more than a few ticks, Ana's own face seemed to contort with visible fear, and hurt, her body turning on its own. Spasming out a running stumble, her legs moved on their own and forced her to flee for the door frantically, she had to get out of that place. NOW. The walls were closing in on her, and making everything seem so cramped, so tight, they reached with sharply clawed fingers to choke her- She had to escape.

[Zandelia]

Zandelia watched the smaller, almost fragile woman it seemed, with an implacable stare – her gaze consistently seeking to pin Neilles’ and hold it for longer than a fleeting moment. It was not that she wasn’t able to manage it, she never took her gaze off of Neilles’ head. The other woman, however, seemed unable to say or do anything but clutch at her upper arms viciously and babble nonsensical utterances. There was a mark of whether you could trust someone that Zandelia believed in, whether they could hold your gaze and still seem sincere. Few could manage it with her and Neilles, once able to do so for brief moments at least, could not do it now. It was to be expected perhaps, she had never had to see Zandelia in the state she was in now, perhaps did not know how to deal with it. Still, her eyebrows climber her forehead sharply as Neilles backed away and made her way to the door – as if fleeing the building.

If I didn’t know better I’d say she actually looked…distraught. How convenient to be able to verbally try to poison someone and then grow a conscience… she thought, the very idea that Neilles might regret her actions merely increasing the icy winds within her heart. If she regretted it then why did she do it?

“Amelias!” she heard Vysia almost hiss at her and turned to look at the woman, making sure she did not see the look of disgust that had been upon her face a few moments beforehand.

“I tried…” she shrugged, trying to wriggle out of having to follow the little whore.

“Amelias” Vysia returned with, stern and unmovable.

“Fine! Goddess preserve me if I didn’t know better I’d say you were my mother!” she grumbled as she turned and pushed her way through the door, slamming it open so that it crashed into the wall and caused people nearby to halt momentarily and look upon her.

She looked about, she knew Neilles would not have been able to make it far and, in point of fact, the stilling crowd merely helped her gaze pick the other woman out. She had gone right, moving quickly but not running, and looked to be heading for one of the bridges out of the Celestial Square. She trailed in the girl’s wake – she refused to see her as a woman now after her petulant activities – and picked her skirts up as best she could so that she could run to try and catch up to her. It was an irony that she actually did want to speak to the girl, even if just to get an explanation. It took a few chimes but she finally managed to get within talking distance before slowing down and brushing herself off, trying to keep her fracturing composure.

“Ana! Stop!” she growled at her, tone of voice cold and venomous – daring her to neglect to listen. She was in no mood to traverse the entire city because the little petcher wasn’t willing to face up to her.

This ends now or it never ends she spat internally as she tried to catch her breath back, fists bunching, and awaited Neilles’ response.

[Ana Sol Starris]

The Cursed Bridge You're a big fool, Ana, a really big fool. The thief raced to get out of the building, fumbling for the door and then escaping into the streets. Eyes wide, breath erratic, purposeless strides being taken and then jumbled up as her composure faltered in the shadows of buildings. Ana knew not where she was going and nor did she care, she was posessed to flee the Hostel, and ultimately run away from Zandelia- the woman she had- no, still called friend a season and a half ago. This was completely Ana's fault, she shouldn't have said those things, she shouldn't have woken up, she should have stayed asleep, dreaming of nightmares and horrible monsters that lurked about within her subconscience slumber. If anything, Ana had to hope that all that was happening now was just a terrible dream, it was a chain. Like many of her chain dreams, it took a rather dramatic and steep fall to wake up in her bed; the feeling of air rushing past her face as a closing in ground coming at her would suddenly dissapear in an instant, and she would awake in her bed. Breathless. At first Ana was just searching for the craggy cliffs leading downwards into what had been called the Apeture with all intents and purposes to throw herself into the depths and end the nightmare she had placed herself in. Hopefully to wake up...and everything that had happened, wouldn't have, she would wake up in her bed and continue on with her day. It hardly surprised her when she found a bridge; one deserted of all life, monk and civillian. The wind blew eerily, displacing dust and sand as Ana's step slowed. Ana halted for a moment staring up at the bridge, and side glancing the black depths on either side of the bridge; shivers crawled up her spine. Do it... You'll wake up like all the other times, just a few steps, a bit of climbing, then throw yourself in. Easy. Easier said than done... Weights hooked themselves to her shoulders as they slumped, eyes watering as imaginary chains wrapped themselves around her ankles bidding her to stay. All it took was a single step to break it, the bindings resisting her movements as she lifted a foot up to take a step forwards and onto the bridge. Perhaps if it hadn't been for Zandelia, she would have gone through with what her mind was urging her to do; "Ana! Stop!" It came out as an annoyed growl. The chains tightened themselves on her person, constricting her and taking the open chance to stop her right then and there. Zandelia's words had forced her to stop, or rather, Ana had frozen in place as her heart rate seemed to drop and a cold fire passed over her body. Burning her cheeks, and making her shiver, her body a quivering mass of fear, longing, and sorrow- she turned her head slowly to look back at Zandelia wondering if this was still a nightmare. The thief stared at the older woman in the dress, Zandelia had chosen to run after her instead of just letting her run away like the fool she was. It gave Ana some hope, miniscule as it was as she would turn her body to the side to look at Zand better; a question forming on her lips. The question of course, remained mute, her lips moving with the effort to speak.

[Zandelia]

She was angry now, she had cried the sorrow and the loss away days ago and there was little sympathy or empathy left for Neilles now, it only seemed to be reserved for herself and for Revy. Even Ximal held no spot of consideration in her heart now, the work of the other woman had revealed its magic in a most unexpected way – she was unchained from sentiment in the general sense. Only Revy remained as a person she was willing to risk that part of herself with in any really, direct way. No, all that was left now were the icy winds of wrath, the poisonous blood of spite and the hissing steam of rage. She had been pushed, shattered and reformed in the ebb and flow of Neilles’ utterances and she would never be able to return to what had been – never.

I should thank her, after a fashion, but she doesn’t deserve it. I should throw her into the bloody Aperture right now! she growled to herself, her fists clenching and unclenching as she noted Neilles paused and turned her body a little – she might actually stop running and say something to her for once.

“Good, you’re finally learning how to listen!” she almost shouted as she walked towards the small girl, “maybe that means you can start talking too then, you bloody well owe me that at least!” she continued as her paces slowly took her ever closer to her target – her mark.

She couldn’t control herself, in that she was perhaps as guilty as Neilles was but she comforted herself with the thought that she had not been the first one to strike out. For once she was not the initiator, she was the respondent and that thought gave her the license to do as she wished to. She stopped and remained stationary, silent and still for a good few chimes as she merely glared at Neilles from ten feet away. She could not trust that she wouldn’t murder the bitch there and then if she had gotten any closer and she did not need that sort of attention for what she wished to accomplish. Progress had already been made and she was not willing to risk it upon the pointless. She received no words though, no answers, nothing. The chill radiated further from her, filling her up more completely than she could ever have imagined.

I never knew I could hate someone as much as I hate her right now. No…stronger than hate…loathe she thought as the unbearable silence continued with no interruption.

“Fine…” she shattered it with vicious abandon,”I will do the asking then if you can’t even bring yourself to talk! DO you have any idea what you could have done with your stupidity? What you have done?! And for WHAT? For your own sense of power?!” she hissed at her, seeking to try and flay her as she had been flayed before, as she had flayed Revy.

“Look at you Ana…you small, treacherous, cowardly little…” she stopped, she couldn’t go further, she still loved the girl deep down though she was loathe to admit it right then and she was forced to look away to stop herself, “I thought I knew you, had seen who you really were…all the planning…the evening when we…” she stopped then, biting her lip a little as weakness betrayed her conviction – she had been wrong, she was not off of the chain of sentiment, it was just easier to tell herself that.

“You…what you did to Revy was just…..why? Why do it? Have you even listened to anything I have said, or have you become as psychotic as that Shroud you used to live with? All the teaching…the practice…the training. Gone! Like that!” she finished as she snapped her fingers, finding the fires of her anger a little now, its warms coursing through her slowly but surely.

“Tell me Ana…TELL ME!”

It was the only nagging, insidious question in her mind and she would not leave the girl be without answer. Even if she had to put her though hell to get one.

[Ana Sol Starris]

Ambience! : What was Ana suppose to do when everything came crashing down upon her, where was she to run when lifes perils became too much, or who would she have when fighting became far too hard? Zandelia's words had only grown harsher as the angered woman slowed down but ten paces away from the small thief, her eyes narrowed but her eyebrows relaxed to give her a sorrowful expression and then she turned away to look forwards into the street before her. The bridge to her left, Zandelia to her right, a silence most deafening came between the two and for once Ana wished Zandelia would go away. It had been 14 days since the incident, of course, and Ana had avoided her like one would ignore the sick and decrepit begging on the streets. Silence. It was all there was, bar the hum drum bustling of life far away. Like a poisenous snake, Zandelia barked at Ana and did what the small girl had done mere a mere 14 days ago. Except, the difference between then, and now, Ana wasn't affected by the venomnous words of hate. Only bringing up one hand to her chest to feel the beat of her heart, the other went to the hilt of the dagger of which Zand would not be able to see under the thiefs cloak; for Ana sensed danger and her instincts told her to be ready. Zandelia was throwing the whole situation out of proportion, and when Ana refused to reply after the first barage of words anger filled and striking against the depressive backdrop known as Ana, Zandelia continued on. Gold eyes stared out in front of her, hardening for every word jabbed at her, for every tick that passed.. This was a nightmare, what had Ana exactly done to Zandelia to make her so angry? Had their moments in the windy tunnels, or the revelations in Dira's Shrine, and the emotions that bled out one night days before their departure of the Spires, had any of that meant anything to the older woman she called sister... mentor... mother... friend? Ana turned her head to glare at Zandelia upon the word 'cowardly' and who was to say that the thief was a coward? Still, Ana remained silent, festering within her thoughts until her mind seemed to crack open like the chasm next to her. The world around Ana flickered back and forth between past and present, words intergrated themselves, fell out, became loud, sizzled to death; memories like a broken mirror. The shards reflected something to Ana, as she blinked, Zandelia's form had turned the size of an eleven year old, her hair black, eyes a hetrochromic gold and blue, freckles, and pale white skin, she was beautiful and the oldest sister that Ana had, but barely remembered. The envirement around her also flickered between past and present, switching inbetween Nyka, and then Ana's home in Zeltiva, both girls had rather angry faces yelling at her to explain things. Her older sister demanding to know the reason why their father hated all of them, why she was the one who received his agression, but not the little freak that ate the family bill with medical expenses. Liddy was young then, just as Neilles had been, and Ana currently didn't know what had become of her older sister... But Ana saw the similarities between both situations, she had done something that brought pain, and now she was being asked why she had done so. Between Nyka and Zeltiva, Ana turned her full body to face Zandelia- eyes calm, she was in a nightmare, one that she'd never be able to escape unless death came about. One she could never fully control, but there was some control, unlike how her slumbers control was not existant. The distress Ana felt earlier faded away to be replaced with something akin to smooth conviction, and smidgeons of confidence. "Why?" Ana breathed out, questioningly back "why not...Amelias?" Ana took one step forwards to Zandelia, tightening her grip on the daggers hilt of which she held closely to her side. Cloak ever concealing of her movements. Memories continued to float in front of her eyes, delusions, illusions, whatever they may have been- they all shattered into tiny pieces the moment she spoke. Fixing themselves ever so slowly, painfully, a searing anger directed at Zandelia for her accusations; everything went back to normal, Zandelia was her normal looking self, and they were both firmly rooted in Nykas background. "Oh yes, I planned to throw our experiences together out a bloody window, I plotted to break you, and to crush your hopes, dreams, and aspirations, because I am nothing but the bad guy in your eyes for merely losing control for a chime.. or two. Because for whatever we have built upon came tumbling down like a trail of long winded dominoes, for what? Who? That....." Ana's eyes became spiteful, her breath caught in her throat as she paused her own verbal assault at Zandelia. Her actions became jittery, eyes shutting for a moment as she gritted her teeth and chose another word before continuing "that woman, and you have the nerve to call me like Shroud? For all YOU know, I am him and could have left the real Ana lieing dead in a gutter back in Sunberth. Think about it Zandelia, think real hard with that small brain of yours..." "Am I really who you think I am?" The question was left to hang in the air for Zandelia to answer.

[Zandelia]

Zandelia listened to the tirade from the diminutive woman, the sense there was clear to see if one thought logically. What they had built…it was ludicrous that it was completely shattered by a few moments of stupidity. If the world had been a place ruled by plain words rather than their emotional intents then she could have forgiven here there and then. Sadly, the world didn’t work that way and with every lashed out word, every angst-ridden verbal barb all Zandelia could feel was the growing heat of her rage, the cold steel of her wrath seeking to chill it into negation – it was losing terribly. She fists bunched again, knuckles growing white with the strain and her face became a mirror image of Neilles’ – hard and unreasonable. Her muscles tensed as they had on that first day, only this time she had no care – no reason – not to unleash them upon her ‘foe’.

The second time….the SECOND time she has dared to insult someone she has no right to hate, no right to judge me for! Fine… she solidified her will, there was no restraint there now. Before she had been chained, albeit marginally, the last foray of insults had shattered the weaknesses there.

The golden eyes meant nothing when before they had only radiated hope, need and the lack of support. They had used up their currency and that which had once been beautiful was now nothing but a dull color, another set of portals into the depths of a twisted soul. The anger radiating from the woman, the courageous step forwards – she should have been proud of her. Instead she felt mere…disappointment. She had taught her well enough but Neilles had never received the most important lessons, would never now be around for them. It broke her heart, that final miniscule beating for the other woman flat-lining and silenced forever.

The future possibilities flashed through her mind, what could have been. An openly warm fire as they sat together and planned. The successes they could have had and toasted with something strong down the taverns. The ageing and eventual retirement of her own plans, the passing on of the papers and the last and almost forgotten secrets before all they could do was reminisce. She saw all of these things and they dissipated, a terrible mutilation of hope.

“Shroud? You want to play the game…Neilles!?” she hissed at the other woman as her pain became her strength, her salvation, “well let’s see how such a young girl plays and how much she thinks she can do and how much she actually can!” she swept forwards, she held no fear now and only wrath.

She was quick, far quicker than the other woman and by far the more experienced and deadly – she had planned it that way. The lessons in fighting had been a thinly veiled charade, after a fashion. They only taught her enough to survive, not enough to mount a successful assault upon herself. As she closed the gap the other woman pulled her dagger reflexively – it didn’t matter to Zandelia as she knew that either Neilles’ bottle would vacate her or she would be unsuccessful, she was no fighter. It proved to be the latter as a poor effort at a stab towards Zandelia’s gut was easily side-stepped s she grasped the wrist of Neilles’ weapon hand. Her other hand, her right hand, can around to slam around the other woman’s throat.

“You know what really happens to my enemies, to people like Shroud or those who want to get in my way Neilles? Do you want to know? Take a look!” she snarled as she forced them both towards the edge, the other woman spluttering nonsensical nothings that only grew worse as she was forced towards possible death.

Zandelia, still gripping the wrist firmly in a vice-like manner that must have hurt the girl, let go of her throat and instead grasped the girl’s cloak, wrapping it round her forearm as weak blows rained down upon her. She stood on Neilles’ right foot and did something terrible – she let her hang over the abyss, able to turn her head and gaze down into its depths, the depths of her own psychotic mind perhaps.

“So…Shroud. Do you like this yet? DO YOU! Did you really think you could act the way you did and get away with it?” the words were spat as her self-control warred with her desire to just let go of the bitch and let it be over, “did you think you were capable of fighting your own battles? That you were stronger? Allow me to prove you wrong…” she snarled then, the un-voiced threat all too evident.

It was cruel really, forcing her to see her own death in the most visually factual way. There was no restraint now, she had eroded that into non-existence. If she wanted to play then she would play but Zandelia doubted that she was currently overjoyed by the experience. She found no caring about it within her and, at that point, knew in depths of her that she was damned. Neilles had tested her, had pushed her in a myriad of ways, and she had got what she wanted. The other woman’s words snapped back to her in the serenity of that moment, perhaps the only one she would have for quite some time and she sneered sarcastically at Neilles.

“Oh…why so serious now?” she asked Neilles, taunting her.

There was no one to save her, no one ever came to the Cursed Bridge. Its name, on this occasion, served Zandelia well.

[Ana Sol Starris]

The reaction was.. well, it wasn't to be expected but at the same time Ana knew in her gut that Zandelia would react in such a way, but never did Ana think she would close the gap in between the two and exsert herself on the smaller girl. Pulling the dagger out and steeling herself against the enraged Zandelia, she was about to thrust the dagger- though the attack was half heartedly as Ana truely would never be able to hurt Zand physically. No matter the situation. Just like that, Zand had the smaller girls weapon hand incapacitated, and a hand from nowhere squeezed on to her neck. Pushing her body back and forcing her to walk backwards jerkily with a chokehold grip around her throat, she gasped in pain as she choked. Ana's free hand went to blindly grab at Zandelia to stop when suddenly the hand around her neck drew away... ...and wrapped itself around her cloak, tilting her body backwards over the Apeture with but a harsh foot to one of her own to keep her steady. Ana began to panick at the 'lighter than air' feeling as she was dangled over the side of the Apeture by Zandelia. Her free hand flailing to grasp onto something that would keep her from wobbling in mid-air, looking between Zandelia and the black depths down below. Eyes widening as her heart seemed to stop, her breathe caught in her throat as death seemed imminent now- though as Ana would continue to holding her breath, she could hear the rhythemetic beat grow steadily louder with Zandelia's words until finally her lungs gave, and forced her to breathe. The shouting was making her nervous, and being held over the edge of a cliff wasn't really a setting that could ease the mind. So Ana shut her eyes, breathed through her nose and tried to babble responses back. Stop it Zand... Please, stop it... She pled inwardly, silently, her mind cracking wider open as she snivelled like the little girl she was. Ana was most certainly not the strong character she thought herself, or made herself sound out to be, and to be put in a position of which she had no control of- well it was terrifying. Just like the day Ana and Shroud first met, Ana watched memories flash in front of her eyes, he had taken a dagger to her throat and threatened to kill her. Her life was in his hands, and she had believed him- but what had she done to make him spare her? To bring out the Wrenmae side, what had she done? Ana grasped for answers, her memory failing her then as her mind redirected itself to the cloak she had wrapped around herself. The cloaks binding was slowly coming undone with the push of gravity downwards, and the pull of Zandelia's arm to her cloak, it was putting a tense pressure where the binding was- and it was bloody coming undone! Ana grasped the cloak there, in an attempt to keep it from coming further undone and allowing her to fall into the Apetures depths. "Zand, stop this madness- please!! You don't know what you're doing- like I didn't know what I was doing days ago! Please... I don't want to die." Ana began to beg pitifully, her eyes watering as she felt completely out of control, she didn't like this situation at all and what if it brought the worst out of her again? The tears came down as a sick feeling crawled to her stomach, nestling itself there as a realization came upon her... She was going to die- there were no two ways about it. "Oh...Why so serious now?" Zandelia asked her, sending a shiver up her spine. Grimacing, Ana looked back down to the depths, and it was as if they chose to be a key to the lock of her memory. Ana had done nothing special to prevent her death, she had been lucky, Wrenmae had come out on his own- and in turn, he had saved her from death then. But now... Ana looked back to Zandelia, horror filled eyes relinquishing the terror that warbled through her gold, murky eyes. That was right, Ana had done nothing at first, she had frozen up in fear which prevented her from saying stupid things like she had been now. Calm waves of fear, but realization passed over her as her features softened and her eyes closed. Ana would let Zandelia decide... "..I'm so sorry.. Zand.. I'm sorry.. For everything, Instead of living through constant illnesses... I should have died... I should have been killed by my father instead... I should have been picked off the streets of Sunberth... I should have died in that brawl fight, and I should have had my throat slit by Shroud... I should have been kicked out of the Spires to fend for myself, to die in the wild... and I should have died on the way to Nyka... I never deserved your love, or friendship... Because living through all this, wasn't worth it... For having of hurt you..." It was a whisper, a plead to be let go but there was no fear of death itself, but she wanted to live still- it was rather complicated, if she had to be truthful that moment. As if spurred on by her apologies, Ana leaned backwards a bit. Snot dripped down her nose, as she cryed, she didn't really want to die- but if she did...Well, she made it this far. That must have been some sort of accomplishment considering how many times she did run in with near death? But it all felt incomplete, insubstancial, she didn't really want such a thing to happen because she still felt as if there was more to her life, than to die hitting the ground in the Apeture... Of course, this could have all been one horrible dream, and when she did hit the ground- she would wake up...

[Zandelia]

The words hit her like s dash of cold water, extinguishing the flames of irrational emotion and revealing the situation for what it truly was – ludicrous. There were some logical truth’s to Neilles’ words, truth’s that were impossible to dismiss for the part of her mind that dealt with data and factual figures. There was no point to threatening the smaller woman, her face said it all – she looked as if she almost wished Zandelia would let her go and allow her to fall into the slumbering abyss of death itself. It was true that her own actions were founded upon nothing but emotion, but if that was the case then those of Neilles were founded upon nothing more than stupidity, or worse, insanity. Whilst Zandelia could reel herself in with time, could try and force herself through the myriad of obstacles towards full control she was not sure that Neilles could. In the end it all came down to one, simple thing.

Trust her mind told her blankly as her resolve to forcibly punish ebbed away under her conscious mind’s gentle teasing and cajoling. She growled, wishing she could just let go of her prey and be done with it, but her loose sense of morality would not allow her.

Letting go of Neilles’ cloak was easy enough to do, it went with what her more primal instincts were telling her. Shifting her right arm so that it gripped the upper arm of the wrist she was holding was more difficult. It was slow, as if her body rebelled against her mind. Still, she forced herself to do it and pivoted her hips and heaved Neilles past her and onto the solid dirt of safety – she hoped she would not regret it in the future. She stood, looking down into what she had almost done and took a great many calming breaths, her ears still very much listening for any precursors of an assault. She closed her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest, trying focus and find the meditative state that she needed.

It came slowly, but as it did some her calm increased and her self-control blossomed further, it was a reciprocal cycle that eventually allowed her to manipulate the Djed within her – albeit slowly and without the usual smoothness she possessed. HE brought it upwards, through the other places of nodal power in her body, untii it was within her eyes. She turned then, eyes still closed, and took a breath before opening them. What she saw shocked her so much it was almost enough to force the power from her entirely. Neilles’ colors shifted so quickly…erratically…that she could get nothing more than a fleeting sense of what had been a few moments before. The only thing that was constant was an ugly, dark brown series of streaks through her entire aura – almost as it were cracking.

I have no idea what in the name of Akajia that is, but it’s certainly not bloody normal… she told herself tiredly as she let the powers recede and her body tried to collapse with the vacating of its exuberance.

“I’m not going to kill you Neilles...I never wanted to kill you. I’m sorry that I hurt you, for all that you said those words...you don’t deserve my punishments – I cannot dictate how others feel” she sighed, voice now tired and filled with sadness. Strange how one could go from hate to sorrow in but a few chimes of time.

“And you don’t deserve to die either, no matter what you might think. You are a decent girl but...something is wrong with you. I just saw it,” she looked at Neilles with something that mildly brushed with pity then, “...Auristics...”

“I don’t know why you said those things and I don’t much care. But you of all people should know the pain of losing those you love, would do anything to bring them back. Yes...I know what happened between you and Revy – in part admittedly. Who are you to hate her for something so terrible?”

“Do you hate me too, for losing my family? For my father selling me into my past?” the question was a rhetorical one, asked of the surroundings devoid of life other than the pair of them.

No...she is wrong...and right too. This is all madness, pointless. I can’t bring myself to hate her, not even for hurting Revy. But neither can I trust her anymore, not as she is – whatever she is going through. I can’t stop loving her... her thoughts tortured her with contradictory messages, warring for the soul of the small woman before her. It took a few moments but one side one in the end and she walked towards Neilles, crouching down to where she was upon the dusty ground. She looked into her golden eyes with her singular emerald one.

“I cannot speak for Revy, or Ximal. I suspect that whatever you might had had with her...or had with him...that without work it will be lost forever,” she cupped Neilles left cheek with her right hand gently as the woman flinched and she could not fault her for doing so, “I forgive you...but I cannot risk you compromising my plans, ruining my life’s dreams. I hope you understand why”

“Goodbye Neilles, I wish things had happened differently,” she planted a small kiss upon her forehead, “if you ever resolve...whatever this is...come find me again. I will be waiting” she finished, pushing herself back up.

She took one, last heart-breaking look at the small woman and walked away – back towards the Safe Haven Hostel . She felt lighter, but also unimaginably heavier, with their confrontation. However, unlike the one in the tunnels of wind at the beginning of winter, there would be no reconciliation or future there.

All hope for that had been shattered.