From the diary of Quiarinox, dated 511 AV
believe the lie if you wish to enjoy it; believe it not if you wish to command it Spring 1st It is the day that the moon will rise red and I am to accompany Meriken to the Temple. I will make it known to the priest due to speak today, Everil Valdinox, that I wish to join the Black Sun. It concerns me that Meriken doesn't seem too keen on me joining the clergy and speaking of my own experience and faith in God, but I do not mind. I think he's merely worried for me.
Spring 2nd I can't believe it! That man, that thing, Everil, had the gall to laugh at me yesterday! I informed him that I was adamant about joining the Sun, and his reply? 'Prove it'. Just that. And then he walked away! What the petch is that all about! How am I supposed to go proving something like this? Am I to take a beggar and shove him into the Black Hole?
I told Meriken about it and he said nothing, nothing at all!
And then, to top it off, I came back to the Temple today to speak to Everil, but he wouldn't have me! None of them would!
I won't give up though, oh no!
Spring 3rd Meriken disappeared on me for a few bells today. I was at home, in prayer, and he had just up and left with barely a word of farewell. I felt suspicions rise in me, just a bit, but I brushed them off. I'd felt this before, but there was no way Meriken would betray me with another woman.
Spring 4th At the Market today I was talking with Karol. She told me she had seen Meriken yesterday, in the Market, at the House of Immoral Pleasures.
Spring 10th It's been some time since my last entry. I have been asking around for anything Meriken might be doing at the House, but really, what else could he possibly be doing? That place is one of wenches and men only want one thing from their bitches.
I've taken to following Meriken. I haven't had anything but I haven't entered the House either. I'm afraid to go in and see him with another.
Maybe Everil wanted me to prove myself by killing my husband.
Spring 13th Rhysol, help me. I feel watched, followed, and suspicious. My mind feels wearied by my fears that soon, Meriken will leave me. Every night we go to bed together, I expect to hear the lie in his voice. Every day he goes out to work, I think he is gone for good, gone to be with his bitch. I've been speaking to Ebon. I might actually bribe a few to visit this woman.
Spring 14th My doubts grow, as does my fear. I found myself contemplating putting my knife in Meriken's back. Every time I raise questions about his work and his extra curricular activities, he shuts down. Sounds fishy to me.
Spring 15th I followed Meriken again. I think he might have seen me, but he didn't mention anything during supper. Maybe it was my imagination, but I feel like I was being followed as well.
He went into the House of Immortal Pleasures yet again, but as usual I didn't follow, I didn't want to see with my own eyes that he was rutting another woman. I might have killed him if I had. Him and that woman.
Spring 16th I found what I was looking for when I followed Meriken yesterday. He met with someone, I didn't know who. His mistress? Someone else? I soon found out. He is Rising Dawn. His friend, the man he has been going to see, is Rising Dawn too. I don't know who his friend is. I didn't catch a name, but I went home pretty quick after realising what I was seeing and hearing. I had a lot to think over. I had a lot to consider now. It breaks my heart to think that he is one of those heretics Everil was saying would ruin our lives. I don't know what to do.
Spring 17th Everil. Meriken. I don't know who to choose between. I don't know what to do. I love Meriken, I love him so much, but he is one of them, one of the Dawn. I'm torn. Who do I go to? Who do I follow? Meriken has been with me since the beginning, but Everil... Everil is a stranger.
Yet, it isn't Everil I want to be close to.
What would Rhysol have me do? Do I choose my husband, or Rhysol?
I prayed to Rhysol for guidance.
Spring 18th I didn't have a choice. Everil was outside my house this morning. He smiled at me, as he did the day I approached him, clapped me on the shoulder, and told me that he 'had faith in me since the beginning'. Goodbye, Meriken.
Spring 19th Everil came to get me today. He seemed pleased, initially, and I soon found out why. He brought me to the Temple, to his rooms, put me on my knees, and told me to consider what I had done. I did. I thought of it all; all the lies Meriken must have told me, all the love he must have faked in return, and how he had deceived me until the very end. I found my misery turning to rage as a knelt there. The pain in my body from being in that position so long went forgotten as I grew angrier and angrier with Meriken. How could he have lied to me about this? About something so important! Maybe if he had told me sooner, before I began to love him, I could have went on my way without another thought.
My rage turned to hate and I wished I could kill him. I was grateful for Everil for taking him. I hoped they would torture him and make him burn for me when I couldn't get to him myself. I chose Rhysol, right then.
Then, suddenly, I felt a brush of fire against the nape of my neck. Fire that seeped into my very bones and radiated outwards, burning through my hate and anger and misery and burrowing deep, deep into the very marrow of my bones before it consumed me. I must have screamed my throat hoarse, thrashed even, and it lasted for what felt like an eternity.
As suddenly as it came, it dimmed. Pain turned to pleasure, and like the pain it seeped into me. Instead of screaming, my voice turned to mouthing sounds of great enjoyment. It faded to a dull ache at the back of my neck before disappearing entirely and leaving me with a memory. I lifted myself to my feet, shaking from my ordeal, and Everil returned. The smile on his face and the feeling of familiarity that accompanied his appearance told it all to me.
I was Chaon. I was Black Sun.
I was His. |