(This is a thread from Mizahar's fantasy role playing forums. Why don't you register today? This message is not shown when you are logged in. Come roleplay with us, it's fun!)
In this forum, all the character sheets are kept for player characters. Feel free to come on in, browse the forum, look at what sort of characters others have created, and then begin your very own!
Race: Human Gender: Female Age/Birth Date: 24/ 63rd of Spring, 491 AV Birthplace: Zeltiva Language: Common (Zeltivan Accent)
An image is something that can change. A hair style may be cut or dyed, makeup added or removed, piercings added or subtracted. The body itself may be altered if given enough time and patience. Made fitter or less so, clothing altered to give different looks and appearances, and even height. Even when someone walks out into the daylight they are still masked by who they are trying to be, and just as easily as it is to change ones close so can one change their very identity. Felicity knows this, and embraces it. Her hair has changed so many times she no longer remembers what is natural for it any more. Her style is different day by day and season by season. Every morning she poses the question to herself: Am I who I was yesterday or someone entirely? Though her eyes are always a light shade of blue, even that can be changed slightly with a different color of clothing or makeup. Naturally she is of about average height with a natural wave to her light blonde hair, but the natural look rarely suits her. Her appearance may change on a whim depending on who she is, or wishes to be at the time.
-Concept-
What makes a person a person is whatever they acknowledge to be themselves. Every man woman and child is born with an innate personality, set of values and desires which they try to see full filled. Sometimes these things are a result of the natural pairing of traits from their mother and father, but others are learned and developed over time and are shaped by the environment in which the person lives. Felicity is not sure why she is the way she is, and whether it is learned or genetic to her it does not seem to matter. The world is coated in grey. Morality and right and wrong a subjective view that depends on the person in question and the society or culture in which they live. What seems wrong to one is right to another, good and evil are just words and what is true and important is only what one person believes. If asked Felicity is not able to answer seemingly simple questions such as what do you desire or what do you wish to do. She doesn't know, or maybe she does and does not wish to think about it.
Why do people do what they do? Is it love? Anger? Ambition? Jealousy? That is what it seems like to Felicity. Everyone has a strong emotion or desire that drives them to do what they do. They seek vengeance for the loss of a loved one, steal for the envy of others, and murder for the fear of dying. She understands this concept and has seen it time and time again in her life. She sees how all around her people do and act according to things that they feel is justified, right or wrong however they be. For Felicity though there is none of that. Not even once in her memory does she remember a time she felt for something so strongly that she was pushed to an action. She has never killed for hate or love, or stolen for fear or cowardice. The dull sensation of those things were there, perhaps, but so faint that the girl never paid them any mind. She knew others around her felt these things, and that when something sad happened to her or to others she should feel sad as well. Sometimes she would cry for others, but only a little if she could do even that. People stole from her, but she did not hate them. People have lied, abused, and hurt her, but she did not feel that deep need for blood and vengeance. Yet she has killed before. She has stolen before. She has made love before. Why though would she do this if not to fulfill some primal urge or desire? Boredom.
Felicity could not feel satisfaction like those around her. Sometimes she was happy, but it was more a dull throb in her chest to remind her that what she did was pleasurable. Few, and far between as they were, Felicity liked those moments of interest. Those moments when, for just a tick or two, she wasn't bored. Like when she was chased by a man who wanted to use her body to his ends. Her heart was pumping so fast and hard it felt like it would burst from her chest, and a feeling in her rose to such heights she felt she was going to fly away! Was that excitement? She found that feeling came again when she first began to sample the drugs in the Zeltiva East Street. Each time she took them, however, the effects lessened until they were just like anything else. Dull and boring. She started putting herself into those situations where her heart would hammer and life would pulse through her veins. Climbing to the top of the tallest building, walking into a part of a city she did not belong, and stealing from those who would not appreciate it. Murder an innocent man or a guilty one, suffer lashes from an abusive man, take more drugs and drink. Anything she could find that would make her feel that excitement again she did. She is still doing.
Being in one place and being one person was never enough. She would change herself when she grew bored of that, try to be or act like someone else. Find the fun in life when all was tinted a dull hue of grey. It did not matter what the feeling was. Excitement, bliss, anger or pain. Just anything. Everything. The people around her experienced fun and excitement, and Felicity wanted to feel it too. No matter the means.
-History-
It was an average life, typical of most children born in East Street. There was fighting, and drugs and sex, and not all of those independently of one another. Felicity was born to two parents who were neither good nor bad. They gave her a roof to live under, a spot in the main room to sleep in the corner, some clothes to wear when there was a need to wear anything at all. Her mother was not cruel and her father never beat her. Maybe to many her life was a more or less happy one. Felicity could not say one way or another because most of it was just a dully blur to her mind. She never thought much about her life back then. As a kid she would play with some of the other children in her area. Tag, chase, hide and seek. She stole from time to time, and bloomed far too early for her own good. Felicity learned the true nature of men before it was her rightful time, but she did not think anything of it. She saw her parents do it, and it was just the same with her and she learned to move and make the sounds just like her mother did. She didn't remember how old she was, but she did remember the feeling, strong and and powerful... Fear mingled with excitement. It was new to her, and after that time she tried to find it again in different forms.
Drugs were a constant thing. Her mother and father consumed them often, sometimes forgetting their daughter for days on end until the hunger made them remember that they had a child who would need tending as well. Then they would eat together, in silence, before returning to the drugs once again. Felicity tried them for the first time when she was 10. She took a bit of the substance from her mothers hand when she was too far gone to notice, and for days afterward the child was too sick to even get up to relieve herself. After the second day her mother finally noticed and scolded her, but of course Felicity tried it again and this time it was not so bad. Though this time she did not try to consume it directly and instead used the pipe her mother used to inhale it as it burned. Her mother never said anything after that, and her father pretended he didn't notice when she took from their pipe. Maybe he had simply accepted that this was how it was going to be. You could not prevent someone from becoming what they were destined to be.
As she grew older Felicity knew that she was different. Different from her friends, and even from her own parents. There was an emptiness in her heart, like a void that longed to be filled. Like a hunger that sent pains through your body, but no matter how much you ate it could never be filled. She played as the other kids played, but while she smiled and laughed like them she never felt the satisfaction they felt. No matter how many drugs she took she never felt the addiction to it like others did, or the dependence. They did not give her the sensations that they seemed to give others, a lightness and fulfillment that sent others into giggling heaps on the floor. Instead she got a gentle hum in her head, a light flutter in her chest and then it would slowly fade, growing weaker each and every time unless she increased the dose. Nothing was satisfying to her. No drink nor food or sex could fill this gap in her heart. She did not feel the fear that others girls felt when they walked alone down east street, or when men approached her. When her body was used she did not feel the same or disgust that she thought she was supposed to feel. Instead she reveled in the moment for, just for a few chimes, her heart beat faster and the dull fog of boredom was lifted.
That was it. Every day, every bell, every chime was perpetuated by a boredom she could never escape. Nothing drew her interest or her curiosity. Nothing satisfied her. Nothing, that is, that did not make her heart pound and her palms sweat. She began to climb when she was in her early teens. She would climb to the top of buildings and dance along the edge. She would dangle by her fingertips over the cliff edges, swing off of a ships mast to the shore. She would entice a man after her and then run from him, twisting down dark alleyways and avenues, evading his grip or, sometimes, falling into it. Mixing drugs and drink that should not be mixed, testing the limits of what was possible or accepted. Changing who she was day by day, pretending to be a hundred different people over the years. It was the rush when she teetered on the edge, just before falling, that made her smile and seemed to fill the emptiness of her soul, but it never lasted. When the excitement faded then Felicity would be on to the next, trying to find something new, something exciting to make her feel something more than the dull disinterest that was her natural state.
-Desires-
For most of her life Felicity had never really known any real desire. She wanted nothing for her self, longed for nothing, wished for nothing. Day by day this broken doll simply lived, bell by bell and tick by tick. She would seek out exciting or dangerous things to feel for just a moment that rush that would remind her that she was alive, yet even that she did not do because she wanted to. It was more like an alleviation to the constant boredom. As time went on and her story progressed, however, she found that she began to develop a greater sense of herself. She found that there were some things she truly did want, and strove for, and those few things are what have begun to shape who she is and who she will become.
Pain- This was the first desire that Felicity every truly felt. It came as a sudden surprise during a run in with a man at the Kelp Bar. This encounter made Felicity face a level of pain she had never experienced before, and the relief she felt once the pain was over was euphoric. Since that time Felicity has felt a desire to feel pain like that again, not for the pain itself but instead for that intense level of relief and joy that comes when the pain finally subsides.
-Religion-
1st Mark of Illusionism, located on the back of her neck.
Those so marked with one of Ionu's gnosis marks can create minor illusions involving a single sense (touch, taste, smell, sight, sound). The illusionist can easily change multiple aspects of themselves and their bodies. Hair color, eye color, the tone of their skin, the accent of their voice is all very reasonable for them. However, they cannot stack illusions, meaning if their chosen illusions involves sight, all their subsequent illusions at that particular time must include sight. They cannot, however, alter sight and sound at the same time. But they can, however, affect multiple sights and sounds with enough focus to maintain multiple illusions. Minor illusions last for only a single hour, and they can have up to ten illusions ongoing at a time. If they wish, they can trade multiple illusions for longer time periods. That means they can have up to one illusion for ten hours or ten illusions for one hour or any combination therein. Again, multiple illusions can only effect one type of perception at a time. If they have ten illusions ongoing, all ten illusions must affect the same sense, e.g. sight. Minor illusions can easily change numbers on playing cards, dice or the appearance of a street or shop sign. Minor illusions can affect multiple people at a time.
Smoking with a God :
17th of Spring, 508 AV Location: Zeltiva East Street
"And who are you today?"
Felicity's eyes fluttered open, smoke escaping her nostrils as she glanced to the man who sat beside her. She gave the question a little thought before looking back up at the ceiling with a shrug, "I don't know. I've not decided yet."
He laughed and that made her smile. His voice was rich and soothing, handsome and well dressed. He really did not belong here, in this room with her... but his drugs were good and his company a welcome relief from the boredom that had come on her lately. Absently Felicity wondered, what was his name again? He had simply appeared to her just a few days ago, talking with a new accent and offering her something new she had to try. Well he had been right. The fuzziness in her head and the wavering edges of her vision certainly was entertaining.
"Yesterday you were Miss Isabella Mallek, a poor lost girl separated from her wealthy relatives in Zeltiva." She heard him scratching his scraggly beard and looked over to see the amusement in his green eyes as he talked, "The day before that you were Rebecca Bloodthorn, a hardened assassin from Sunberth come to take the life of a boy who just happened to walk into the wrong area of the city. You almost made him wet his pants when you poked him in the back with that stick pretending it was a knife."
Felicity laughed and sat up, handing the pipe to her companion and adjusted the dirty skirts over her legs, "It's his own fault. Everyone knows you wont be held up at knife point during the day on East Street. He was just a little rich boy whose only knowledge of this part of the city was what his parents told him to warn him away from the cheap whore houses."
"And you justified every story he had been told." the man pointed out, taking a puff of the pipe himself before handing it back.
"True, but not everything is what it seems. I rest my case on his ignorance being at fault and believing what I said based on it." Felicity took another puff as well, closing her eyes and resting her head against the wall, exhaling slowly, "Besides now he knows better, and maybe next time he wont be fooled."
"Somehow I doubt he will be back." A silence fell then and both simply enjoyed the concoction and stared aimlessly into space. It was almost amazing to Felicity how natural this all felt. Being here, with this man who she did not even know his name, talking as they did about things she told no one else. When she looked sideways she found him staring at her, dark brown eyes searching her up and down, as if looking for something.
Dark brown? Felicity blinked and looked again at his eyes, and indeed they were brown. But hadn't they been something else before? She tried to remember but the fog in her mind only let her attention stay on that subject for a short tick before writing it off as just a trick of the light. It was a good smoke after all, and it hummed in her veins like a warmth that spread through her entire body. Even though she was doing nothing at all, with this man, she did not feel bored. Why was that?
"If you could be anyone in the world, who would you be?" His question came suddenly and just as surprisingly Felicity's answer came just as quick.
"No one at all." Another draft of the smoke made Felicity's head spin and a goofy smile tilted the corners of her lips up, "Absolutely no one at all."
"That sounds like an evasion of the question." The pipe was pulled from her limp fingers just before they dropped it, and a firm grip caught her hand there after, "Why would you want to be no one? Does that mean you wish you had never been born?"
Felicity shook her head slowly, tilting her head to look at the man. There were two of him now, but if she focused her eyes the two became one once more though there was a bury edge to him. It sort of looked like feathers but she knew it was just the drugs.
"No, nothing like that..." She began slowly, choosing her words carefully as she tried to focus more on her friend, "If I am no one then... I can be absolutely anyone at all." A laugh escaped her and she clapped her friend hand over her lips, stifling the snort that came afterward.
He smiled and rubbed a thumb over Felicity's knuckles, green eyes looking into her own with curiosity, "Isn't that impossible? You can't be anyone if you aren't anyone to begin with right?"
"Ha!" She raised her finger to wag it in the man's face, closing her eyes briefly and opening them again to bring the two images back in focus, "Thats just what people think. If you are no one you can be anyone. You can be any race and have any parts between your legs you want. Petch it all you could be a stray dog if you wanted to be. Who says you can't be everyone and no one at once?" Shifting her legs beneath her Felicity sat up a fraction and looked directly at the man with unfocused eyes, "I could be anyone I wanted at any time. I could have any life, live any way I wanted, be whatever and who ever I wanted and no one could tell me it was impossible any more."
"That is true. Does that mean though you have someone you want to be?"
Shaking her head again Felicity looked up and back down at the man, "No. I just don't want to be the me I am today more than once. Or the me I was yesterday, or the me I will be tomorrow."
They fell silent once more and Felicity scratched her head, looking down at her wiggling toes and wondered at them. Her mind was in a pleasant haze, but despite the smile that was on her lips there was a coldness in her chest. Just an emptiness there that had been there all her life. A void that sucked in everything, so that no pleasure, or pain, or happiness would be enough to fill it.
"Are you happy?"
"No." Felicity's free hand played with the end of her dress, a loose tassel there distracted her enough that she did not notice the coincidence of the question coming when it did, "But I am not sad either."
"Then what are you?" His hand felt warm around hers. His thumb still stroked her knuckles and the sensation was pleasant enough. Was he trying to comfort her? Somehow she doubted it.
"What am I..." she echoed, rubbing her temple now as the fog and haze began to fade and her mind started to clear slightly, "I don't know. Waiting I guess."
"Waiting for what?"
"Waiting for something interesting to happen." She looked back and smiled at the man, "Like you. It's only been a few days since we met but I have not been bored even once. Its been fun, having you around. Having someone to talk to."
"A few days?" He asked, his thumb pausing in its motion, "But Felicity we just met today."
Pausing in confusion Felicity's brow furrowed in concentration, shaking her head as she did so, "What? No we met a few days before. Thats how you know about that boy and the little trick we played. It was harmless fun and when I first met you."
His answer came after a few ticks, and his thumb once more caressed her knuckles, "Really? Is that so?" His smile was an amused one and he looked away, "Maybe we did meet then."
Nodding Felicity pulled her hand back from the man's, rubbing her wrist and looking back at the pipe just as the man was putting it back in his mouth. Leaning forward she snatched it from his teeth, putting it in her own mouth and taking a quick drawn on it before handing it back and slumping down once more, "Nothing is ever really interesting. People do the same things each and every day. They eat, they sleep and eventually they die. They wear the same clothes, act the same way."
"I think that is normal for most people." The man said as he blew a smoke ring and looked back at Felicity, "Everyone has their routines they follow. Things they do each and every day. They follow their own rules, and most are happy doing that. So why aren't you?"
With a derisive snort she wiggled her fingers for the pipe, but when she did not receive she sighed and shrugged, "It's not that being like everyone else doesn't make me happy. I just don't feel it like everyone else does." she leaned across him, stretching her arm and coming close to his face as she struggled to take the pipe the man was holding at arms length away from her, "They are happy to do the same things, but I am not. I can't. I have to do something new, be someone else to feel... anything."
The man was watching her expression closely but Felicity didn't notice. She only had eyes for the pipe, and like a child she was trying desperately to get it, almost in the man's lap as she reached.
"Is that why you do the things you do? Most would think acting like that is childish, and dangerous." He finally passed the pipe into her grasping fingers and Felicity sat back, but she did not take a puff right away. instead she looked at the pipe in her hands, a thoughtful expression crossing her as she shrugged and finally put the pipe between her lips.
"I don't really care." Pulling the smoke into her lungs she held it there a second, and then formed an O with her lips, blowing out carefully, trying to mimic the smoke ring just as the man had done. What she got was just a billowing stream that became like a fog around her head, "I don't care what other people say. They are not me. I do what I want because that is what I want to do. Rules are there for a reason... but they are not my reasons."
"You really are interesting aren't you Felicity."
The smoke swirled around her head, flickering and changing colors as it did. It was just a trick of the drug Felicity was sure, but she laughed all the same and reached up to touch the spinning could. As she did it dissipated, scattering into a thousand fluttering butterflies that vanished out the various cracks and openings of the room. She had not noticed before, but the room they were in did not seem to have any doors. How had they gotten in?
"How about we make a deal." The man was suddenly kneeling in front of her, and she now got a good view of his features. He looked to be in his mid 30's. A scraggly beard was edging his cheeks and over his chin, while a fine black mustache rested beneath a long beak like nose. His features were thin but not malnourished, and while his skin was darkened from the sun it had a slight sheen to it like he was covered in water drops. Dark hair that looked like it was tinted green was cut short, and his eyes. His eyes were black as raven feathers but depending on how he turned his head Felicity could see different colors there.
"A deal?" Felicity smiled and pointed the pipe at the man, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear as she did, "You will give me some more of whatever is in this pipe in exchange for, what? My body?" She paused for a few ticks and shrugged, "Alright that is fine with me."
Taking the pipe from her the man turned it over in his hands, his multicolored eyes glancing from it back up to her, "No, nothing quite as trivial as that. Instead why don't I offer you something that is a bit more powerful than this." Dropping the pipe as he said this he snapped his fingers, the pipe crumbling into glittering dust before it hit the ground, "In exchange for this you have to be exactly what you said you wanted to be. No one and everyone."
Felicity's eyes widened and she ran her hand over the ground where the pipe would have it, rubbing her eyes then and straining to focus. What she had just seen, it was a hallucination right? It was the drug's affects on her mind right?
"I..." the coldness in her chest was gone, replaced by something so strange and unexpected she clutched at her chest like a dying man as she looked up at those strange eyes, "Is this real?"
The man shrugged, "That depends on what you think real is. Is real what you see, hear and feel? Is it what you dream or what you imagine? Then that makes you wonder, who is the real you? The you you are now, or who you were when you were born. Maybe nothing is real." He extended his hand toward her and without hesitating Felicity took it, that heavy feeling in her chest making her heart beat twice as fast as she looked at him, "Real is whatever you define it as. So what do you say? Will you take what I am offering, in exchange for never being the same each and every day?"
When she did not answer right away he leaned closer, smiling broader, "If you say yes I can promise you will never be bored again."
"Yes." She breathed, nodding her agreement, "Yes, I will take what you offer. I accept your deal."
Leaning even closer the man hooked his hand behind her neck, where he touched feeling very warm as he pulled her closer so they were almost nose to nose. She looked into his eyes, the two black points a swirl of color so deep and endless she felt like she would lose herself within them. They had been talking, sharing a pipe for who knows how long, yet she realized then she knew absolutely nothing about this man. Not even his name.
"Who are you." She gasped, only just realizing she had forgotten to breath. Those eyes had consumed her, sucking all of her attention from the world around so when he leaned back and stood her head spun at what she saw.
It was a boy, only a little older than she was with a beard that was not fully grown in yet. Flushed cheeks and freckles and messy brown hair, it was the boy she had tricked in the alley a few days before, but his eyes were the same color black as the man's.
"I am Ionu." He said, his voice pitched higher with youth and a mischievous smile on his lips as he bowed, arms out to his side, "It has been a pleasure Felicity. Until we meet again."
From somewhere above it began to rain black, and when she cupped her hands she found what looked to be a ravens feather. Hundreds of thousands of feathers then began to fall, breaking away from the walls and ceiling as the entire scene exploded and consumed her vision and the God in turn. Then, just as quickly as it began the storm subsided and she found herself sitting on a side street, not far from her home. The sun was falling behind the horizon and she could not remember how she had gotten there. Where did the room go? And the boy?
Rubbing the back of her neck Felicity stood shakily to her feet, using the wall to steady herself until she realized the fog that had been in her mind from the drug had completely vanished. Had that been an Illusion as well?
That feeling had remained. A deep, heaving thrum in her chest that filled her body with heat and made her limbs tremble. She knew what this feeling was. It was something she had almost forgotten about. She felt... excited, more alive than she had ever felt before.
"Thank you." She whispered to no one in particular, "Lets share a pipe again one day. Ionu."
-Skills-
Skill
EXP
Total
Proficiency
Acrobatics
30 SP
30
Competent
Acting
5 SP
5
Novice
Climbing
15 RB
15
Novice
Larceny
10 SP
10
Novice
Unarmed Combat
5 SP
5
Novice
-Lores-
Climbing: Scaling Vertical Surfaces with Sufficient Handholds Larceny: Picking Average Locks
Relationship: Mother Description: She was beautiful at one time. If you look past the now skinny and gaunt features, you might catch a glimpse of what was once full lips, generous curves and a sly, playful smile. Her once golden blonde hair has faded to a dull imitation, and the once healthy tan skin has been replaced by a paler, splotchier mockery. When she talks there is an airy, almost distant tone like she is speaking from very far away, when in fact it is just her mind is too far gone in the distant high of the moment to really come to terms with reality around her. Green eyes, the same as her daughters, perhaps were intelligent and insightful once. Now they just looked dull and empty.
Felicity does not really know much about her Mother's past, as she never talks about it. Maybe she doesn't even remember. Mira once lived in a city to the West of Zeltiva, across the Suvan sea or so she says. She came here as a youth for whatever reason, and from there nothing else can be gleamed before the woman falls into a drug induced stupor and forgets that her daughter is even in the room. While not loving, or caring or doting, as a Mother Mira was not all that bad. She fed her daughter sometimes when there was money left over, talked to her fairly often, and reminded her to wear her coat. Sometimes she ever remembered to remind Felicity in the right season. Mira wasn't cruel, or hateful, or spiteful. She was just there. Just there, in body but never quite in mind.
Her daughter believe that at one point her Mother used to be a seamstress, for from time to time during one of her episodes she saw her mother's hands moving in an odd fashion similar to what a person knitting might do. Felicity never asked though, and she doubted she would ever get an answer.
What Felicty Doesn't Know :
Mira is a native of Alvadas, from a family well enough off that she wanted for nothing and had a happy, healthy childhood. She lived for years with her mother, father, and two sisters, and while there Mira studied medicine and worked a time at Ionu's Mercy. No one knows why she left, not even her eldest sister who was very close to her. One day, however, Mira simply packed up her things and caught a boat to Zeltiva. She has never been in contact with her family since.
Skills Medicine: 30 Sewing: 10 Negotiation: 10
Camella Wittle (Wit)
Relationship: Friend Description: Camella, who prefers to go by Wit, grew up on East Street in a small cottage not far from Felicity's home. Around 5'5, Wit boasts a more masculine appearance than her somewhat friend Felicity, and from the age of 5 to her mid teens it was difficult to distinguish her from the group of boys which she hung out with in the streets. Still, despite her tomboyish appearance the girl is still quite pretty, more so than she even believes herself. A thin frame and dirty, unkept hair speaks volumes of her life up until the current seasons. A hard life, but not an unfruitful one for Wit has always managed to earn, or steal, enough to keep herself well fed and out of trouble and away from the darker and dirtier alleyways known to be found on East Street.
Brown hair and hazel eyes filled with intelligence and curiosity, Witt was always the first to call an adventure and the last to leave for home afterward. A thief by trade, almost compulsiary, Wit takes almost anything her hands touch. From fruit from the stand, to hairpins straight from a woman's head, she seems to take a great amount of pleasure from swiping any and everything not tied or nailed down. Those sticky fingers have gotten her in trouble before, and certainly they will do so again if she is not careful.
Felicity met Wit when they were both still children, and for whatever reason the slightly older girl took a liking to her. Since then Felicity has found herself pulled along on several small, or large, adventures for the rambunctious youth's own amusement. Felicity does not mind, however, as this tends to ease her own boredom as well.
![[Unverified]](./images/spacer.gif "[Unverified]")
