PM to join A beast with a beautiful face is still a beast

[Aider Silander]

34th, Spring 515 AV

Anger, blood boiling anger was the only emotion the Nykian awoken to. The room barren of any life other then his own as sweat dripped from his forehead. Another dream had filled his head but this time it was more then a normal nightmare. He could make out more then one face. More then just the Myrians face and the face was the man. The twisting feeling of jealousy and hate burned within his gut. This man was nothing to him other then what he knew about him which in turn was a little more then his name. The sight of him with Kaie enraged him with every moment spent. A feeling he had not held for a long time, jealousy an ugly beast that burned inside all men no matter how righteous and pure they were.

"I could see his blood on my hands. His body riddled with arrows and his neck sliced in a very unclean fashion. It was a murder not a fight and it is not something that I should be feeling. But it felt so right" he mumbled under his breath as he stared down at his hands. Feet kicked off the side of the bed, the man was bare to his core. The light of Syna that came through the window gently warmed him. He stood up and stretched with a groan.

His eyes glanced towards the window and he sighed. The man's hopes of Zeltiva being a safe haven for him were fading fast. He did not believe that he would find any sort of belonging here and the night terrors continued to fight him and keep him from gaining a foot hold on what little sanity he had left. "Did that cursed city really change me that much? Or maybe it is her. She is the reason I had that dream.. The reason I did what I did..."

He clicked his tongue against the wall of his mouth. The man stood in silence before deciding to move on with his life. He walked over to the corner that his bag occupied. His shirt laid across it and pants folded neatly on the floor next to it. He moved quickly, pulling his clothes over his body and stepped out the of the room and into the city beyond. The low cut boots tapped against the floor as he stepped down the hall. He made his way down to the lobby and slipped out as quietly as he could, hoping to not be spotted by the host.

Syna's light warmed the streets as Aider moved his hand to shield the sun. His eyes slowly adjusted to the bright beams as he walked down the streets. Another day of wandering aimlessly and dealing with his thoughts.

[Aider Silander]

Beast were something you heard through stories as a child. Not normal beast like a wolf but something much more evil. Beast that could take over a persons mind and drive them to do unlawful things. Nyka's history was filled with that of beast like demons. Though Aider had never been one to truly understand the power that the held. He remembered his mother telling him about the demons that would snatch up children who were disobedient and drag them into the night, never to be seen from again. The sunlight reflected off of the mans eyes as he walked down the street from the Worlds End. A day of endless roaming with no goal in sight.

Demons? Do they really exist could his thoughts and dreams be pegged on something other worldly. If God's existed why couldn't demons? Aider shook his head. There was no logical explanation behind demons and the fact that his mind even entertained the fact bothered him. What mattered to him was indeed the fact that he had murdered the man in cold blood, for a reason that he wasn't exactly sure of? Jealousy? It was possible, the feeling had been flooding his body since coming to Zeltiva. A place that he thought would bring him comfort in the safety of laws and order gave him nothing. His mind wandered between the few men in his life that he had ever had a problem with.

In Nyka a bar brawl was common, dislike between two drunken opponents leading to a slew of of mumbled words and poorly aimed fist. There were two men in his mind that stuck out above the rest. Both of them he had only known for a short time but both brought the biggest impact in his life. The questions that had popped up because of them had hit Aider harder then anything else had in his life. Then there was her, every move she made had Aider questioning. There was something about her that he could never figure out and it left him wondering.

They shared nights together, different from one another but most brought about one feeling, a feeling of safety and belonging. When he first entertained the thoughts of the two of them, what he believed was just a wild dream that would never happen, he never thought that he was actually worthy of her.

He was physically weak and he knew it, average in every way when it came to a fight. He was surprised when the Wulf had hunted him down and trapped him in the corner like the mouse he was. That man that served as her right hand in that moment, he had brought around questions of the world in Aider's mind. That man was and always would be nothing more then a walking slab of meat and muscle.

[Aider Silander]

The world seemed to be pushed by people like him. The ones who used physical strength to get themselves. They seemed to question nothing and only push forward until they landed where they wanted to be. They were nothing more then the stepping stones for people who were meant to achieve greater things. She was not like that. Not to him, the woman who held his attention like a hawk watching its prey meant so much more to him. He saw a potential in her that he did not see in many others. She had goals and a drive to achieve something. But he felt she would achieve more then she had set out to in the first place.

That man however would not. He would end up in the same place he had started and that bothered Aider very little. A man once inspired by the aspect that anyone could achieve anything now saw that it was nothing more then false words spread around to inspire hope in fools.

Aider no longer wished to be that fool that he once was, the fool that trusted to easily. He wanted to grow and to become stronger, both physically and emotionally. His mind wandered back to the Wulf. For the few days that he had known her and the rumors that had spread around the city. She seemed to be a person that was made to be a leader. Inspired by some task that Aider had never grasped the concept of. She held a group in her hands, tools to be used to push towards this goal and the woman that Aider was fond of was one of those tools and Aider had become one as well if even for a short time.

"Why" he mumbled to himself had there been a reason that she had chosen to do that or did she just need another body in play. The attack was still clear in his mind. He had done little and she refused to let him think other wise. A verbal lashing to strike down what little pride the man had left. The city had broken him, smashed him to pieces and even after his departure it still affected him. Her words had struck harder then any blow the man had ever faced.

"Useless" he mumbled to himself, his mind focused on the confusion in his head as his feet wandered aimlessly. The city lead on before him, figures passed by as he fought to find the answers he so desperately sought inside himself. "To her... Are you really anything more then a source of warmth and pleasure?" he wondered to himself. He remembered her words in their meetings before, tales of a warrior Goddess and the people she lead.

He was not one of them nor would he ever be one of them. He was a plain human and nothing more. But there was something that had to hold her interest, the chances she had to take his life without second thought. She protected him for some reason that he could only believe was because she harbored some of the same feeling that he did for her. That night in the grave yard played back in his mind. He had take a mans life in defense of hers, not his own. He cared little for what happened to him as long as she made it out with some proof that he wasn't a coward. His fingers brushed over the place that the scars rested on his leg.

"You fought for her. Are you really that weak?" he asked himself. A feeling of pride had swelled inside him for a short moment. He had done something not because it was right, but because something that was precious to him had been threatened. Helping her had made him feel like taking the other mans life was nothing. He wondered if his dream had been a replay of that night but with a different target. Someone that he had actually exchanged words with in some form.

The second man did not make Aider question his own physical presence but that of his emotional and mental one. History was something that he had over Aider when it came to her. He held secrets that Aider was sure of, something that was shared between the two that Aider would never know and it ate at him. His hand clinched into a fist as he made his way down to the docks. His feet tracing the steps that he had walked when they first reached the city. He could hear the sounds of waves crashing against the docks. "Jealousy... Unexpected... Outburst" he mumbled to himself. The man did not account for Aider being there, he knew nothing of Aider and had planned for it to be just him and Kaie in the room. A furious spark of jealousy had filled him that day.

His head held dark thoughts before the outburst. The two had rose up in their own spark of emotion. Anger from the man of hidden emotion splashed on the both of them. Landing blows like lash to his skin stinging him and thrashing open wounds onto his pride. But her words had been like a hammer striking against bone. Crushing it cleanly and with little resistance. He remembered the feeling of spiking the mans head against the tombstone and he felt the pain radiate through his own skin.

He had stood there and took both of their words like he was nothing more then a slab of muscle. He had been crushed that day and no strike to his skin had ever brought him that much pain. He regretted not saying something after that, not speaking up against the two to prove that he wasn't just some tag along that she had picked up. But his words never came, there was no resistance from him at that point. Words against words and he had lost, something that he thought himself skilled in had failed him harder then any weapon probably could. "I just pulled myself farther from her then" he coughed as he stared out at the ocean.

"Ey! You are in the way, move or be moved" he heard a thick voice say as he turned to look towards the direction it came from. It was a man of muscle holding a crate, Aider nodded and stepped back turning to leave the docks and continue his wandering.