(Flashback) A Star in the Cards

[Blythe]

50 Spring, 509 AV

Blythe was sitting on her bed, holding her grandmother's palladini tarot deck in her hands. She had taken the cards out of their box, and she was shuffling them rapidly in her hands. The cards felt cold, and slightly worn beneath her fingertips, they held that old and well-used look to them, some of the cards bent and frayed at the edges. The deck had certainly seen better days, but was still, all things considered, in pretty good shape.

Blythe's legs were crossed, she was sitting Indian style, and as straight as she could on top of her pale blue bed sheets. She shifted her weight uncomfortably, until she was satisfied with her position, and took in a few deep, cleansing breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

Blythe had asked her grandmother to lend her the cards simply because she was bored. There was no pressing matter she needed to look into, nothing in particular that she wanted to ask of them, she simply wanted something to do with her time.

Blythe closed her eyes, silently praying to Avalis to listen to her question, and to please provide her with some sort of answer, whatever it was that she chose to ask. Blythe took a few more deep breaths, finally deciding on her question: what was her purpose in life?

Blythe continued to shuffle the cards, before sifting through the deck with her thumb before choosing the Queen of Cups as her significator. She set this card aside; knowing that it was meant to embody her presence and focus in the reading. The card had to with spirituality as well as maturity; one who both counsels and heals. An observer; Blythe recalled her grandmother having once told her. The card really did seem to fit the part, she thought as she shuffled the deck again before laying them all the remaining cards out before her.

Blythe thought that the twisting path spread would be appropriate for her reading, it having to do with providing insight into whatever lies ahead of you, and the decisions you must make. Many obstacles lay ahead for that being read.

Blythe sighed, she would need to pick out five separate cards for the spread. "Avalis, please guide me while I work, please show me the way... the answers..." Blythe whispered, her voice trailing off.

Blythe extended her left hand, letting it hover over the cards before picking out whichever cards she felt pulled to. She lay them out so that three of the cards made a diagonal line, slanting up towards the right, down towards the left, (OOC Note: like this: /), and one of the remaining cards lay just above the left corner of the bottom card in the line, and the other to the bottom right of the card in the middle.

When Blythe had chosen all of the cards she would use in her reading, she scooped up all of the cards she was not using into a pile, and sat them by her side. She then flipped over all of the cards she had drawn.

The first card Blythe looked at was the one in the lower left corner. The card at the lower left represents the first decision that one would have to make along their journey. Blythe had drawn the nine of cups. Staring back at her was a man with a green traveler's hat, two yellow feathers sticking out of the side. Blythe was staring at his profile, his black, almond-shaped eyes seeming to follow her every movement. There was a pyramid-like staircase behind him, holding nine separate golden chalices, one on each of the steps, and a spread of food in the front of the card- a plate of fish, fruit.

Blythe was surprised that she had drawn this card, the nine of cups had to do with happiness- contentment in all aspects of one's life. From one's life, to their family, and even acquaintances. It had to do with achieving the things you wanted most, and truly enjoying the beauty that surrounded you. Absolute bliss. What did that have to do with anything? Blythe wondered, considering of late, how she just felt so sad, still finding that she was without family of her own, and had next to nothing to do. And how could happiness be a decision she wondered? Certainly such a thing wasn't a choice? It was only felt by those who hadn't seen much hardship in their life, or those who had, but didn't allow it to freeze their hearts over. She would have to set this card aside for now, and think about it again later.

The card to the far left, (the card above the diagonal line to the left), was the card that signified the first thing that may lead her astray, it was the five of pentacles. This card, Blythe was not surprised to see, it had to do with tumultuous times that were brought about why events such as one's lack of good health or some sort of event that was entirely out of their control. It had to do with loneliness, and the fact that the person being read needs to be comforted.

Blythe instantly thought of Fawn, her icy blue eyes, her toothless grin, her cold, limp body in her arms, her lack of a heartbeat... the day she had died after having just been brought into this world. The loss had devastated Blythe, it still did, especially because no matter how much she tried, she never did become pregnant again. She wasn't like her sisters- each with children, or her mother, who had given birth to four, and this thought pained her.

Tears welled up in Blythe's eyes, causing her vision to blur, before they began to spill down Blythe's cheeks, she stopped the reading to wipe the tears away with the back of her hand. It took her a few minutes to calm back down, to push the memories out of her mind, to quit sniffling, to keep the tears from falling, but when she had, she did feel better. Lighter, yet, almost numb.

The middle card signified the second decision she would have to make. The card was upside down, and depicted a shoreline off in the distance with a rainbow in front. The colors found in the rainbow were accentuated by the single-toned clouds, and pale blue sky that surrounded it. Within the rainbow were ten golden chalices. This card was the reverse ten of cups. The card was associated with stagnation; taking all the things one had for granted. Issues with one's domestic and social life.

Blythe started crying again. Why, even years later, did everything seem to make her think about her lost daughter? Were the cards so much as suggesting that she had taken Fawn's birth for granted? She didn't appreciate her enough... she couldn't until she had been taken away? she wondered, hoping that her miserable interpretation wasn't the case; knowing somewhere inside of herself, or rather praying, that this was wrong, because she really did love her child. Even if she was dead, she loved her, with every ounce and fiber of her being, and she missed her greatly; it didn't take her death to show, or rather remind, Blythe how much she had cared for her.

Through her tears, Blythe looked to the next card. The card in the lower right, (below the diagonal line), represented the second thing that may lead Blythe astray. The card was upside-down, and depicted a naked blonde woman was wading into the water, holding two cups, one above water, the other below. She was surrounded with sky, that held several yellow stars, and a tree that held a red bird, with a rather long tail feathers. The bird's coloration reminded Blythe of a roaring flame.

The card was the reverse star card. The card was associated with doubt, lost hope, and failure. Physical and mental health fall prey, and eventually, victim to, outside forces. The person being read has grown to be so desperate that they place blind face in poor, and ineffective solutions. Again... Blythe's heart sank, she really had become a mess as soon as Fawn had died. She remembered crying herself to sleep every night, crying into her pillow all day, staining it with the salt of her tears, barely eating, refusing to leave her room unless someone dragged her out... Were the cards suggesting that by letting the death of her daughter destroy her, that Blythe was destroying whatever her future had in store for her? she wondered, as she looked at the final card.

The final card was sitting at the top of the spread. It represented a possible mask for her intended, or true, destination. Her future... her destiny. Seven golden chalices that had been encrusted with rubies were shown on the card. Blythe had drawn the seven of cups. The card was associated with daydreams, the splitting and depletion of energy because one has strong desires, and the need to meet unrealistic goals. Chasing after an illusion, losing energy for making false choices. Delusions, hallucinations... not putting effort into life anymore. Not bothering; not caring.

Blythe just stared that this card, wondering what it could mean. Was it saying that her want of a child, her desire to have a family was foolish?

[Blythe]

Blythe looked down at spread, trying to take it all in, trying to see each individual card as a piece in a larger puzzle, as opposed to just a single card, which said it all. She peered at the nine of cups again, were the cards suggesting, that she could make her own happiness? But of late she was choosing not to? Was it suggesting that she could, in some way shape or form, achieve her goal of having at least, one child and start a family on her own, but her own inaction, her holding herself back because of the pain of losing her first child, not wanting to repeat the same fate, she was keeping herself from what she wanted most? Another chance at life?

Blythe looked at the card on the far left again, the card that represented what may pull her off her intended life's path; the five of pentacles.... tumultuous times... outside events... Fawn, Blythe was beginning to connect the dots, the death of her child HAD taken her off the road that represented her life. It had thrown her off track, because she just didn't want to go on anymore, at least most of the time, because sometimes, it was just too painful.

Blythe looked at the middle card; the second decision; the reverse ten of cups. Taking things for granted, issues with domestic and social life. Was it suggesting that she chose to take the newfound joy she had found in giving birth, and having Fawn, for granted? That she couldn't truly appreciate it because she was too darn blissful, she couldn't even see the hard work that the baby also had in store for her? Things like changing a dirty diaper, feeding, bathing it, watching it grow?

The card proved itself to be difficult for Blythe to think about, she wasn't sure she liked what it was insinuating, so she moved on... to the second thing that may lead her astray... the reversed star. Well, the loss of her daughter had caused her to doubt her abilities as a mother, her health, her whole self as a person. It had made her feel like a bit of a failure, each of her sisters having successfully given birth to three girls, her mother four, and she one... that died... Then, in order to solve the pain that had engulfed her heart... she had turned to neglecting herself in the hopes that it would drown all the pain out... hardly eating, crying all the time, not keeping herself as well-groomed as she usually did, the list went on and on and on- and looking back on it all, everything she did in an attempt to contain her emotion, well, it hadn't helped at all. It hadn't made her feel better, or a better person, and it surely hadn't helped her to move on.

Blythe's past behavior had certainly led her astray, she thought. The loss had immobilized her completely, and kept her from her growth, her development.

And then, the final card, the one at the top of the spread... the mask for her true destination; the seven of cups. Had she been too busy wishing, too busy dreaming about life with a child, successfully giving birth, that perhaps, she wasn't actually working as hard as she had thought when it came to actually having one? Blythe wondered, as she contemplated it for a while, realizing that she hadn't sought out a mate, and attempted to get pregnant for quite some time. Perhaps she should change that, Blythe thought, as she looked down at her spread one last time, before scooping them up in her hands, as well as the significator, and adding them to her grandmother's deck, before putting them back in the box.

Yet, as Blythe put the box down at her feet, she realized, that although she may have gotten in her own way in the past, thanks to the reading, she wasn't so sure she had really answered her question: what WAS her purpose in life?

Blythe thought about it, surely the cards couldn't really tell her such a thing, realizing her question may have been foolish, too broad a thing to ask. Besides, who was she to ask such a thing? Blythe should have waited, been more patient, allowed herself to find the answer on her own by simply living her life the way Avalis, and Laviku intended.

[Alice]

Blythe

Experience: 5 Fortune Telling
Lores: The Queen of Cups Card, The Nine of Cups Card, The Five of Pentacles Card, The Reverse Ten of Cups Card, The Reverse Star Card, The Seven of Cups Card, Overwhelming Grief, Questioning One’s Life Purpose, Asking a Foolish Question

Comments

Nice thread. I enjoyed reading about what the future might have in store for Blythe and how she tries to make sense of the cryptic outcome. Even while reading, I didn’t fully understand what the cards wanted to tell her, haha. I love how you connect training with reflections and strong feelings. So I gave you 5 points for a job well done! (I do hope my generosity doesn’t backfire one day ...)