Solo Desperate Times, pt. 2

[Reverrsoi]

20th of Winter, 520 AV

The journey to Desperation Bay was not long, comparatively. Reverrsoi had been on a ship all the way in to Avanthal from Zeltiva, and longer than that when he was a child. And yet, the days seemed to drag by. Perhaps it was the monotony of the job- calling the winds, pulling the ropes, watching the horizon roll over itself bell after bell- or perhaps it was the anticipation and fear of their goal of slaughtering animals.

Or most likely it was the isolation he refused to acknowledge and the emotional baggage that came with it which he refused to feel.

Whatever it was, when the shape of the melting ice mountains came creeping into view, Reverrsoi felt his heart swell and sink all at once. He cried out wordlessly at first, just pointing over the watery distance. After a chime, sailors began turning their heads below him. As he dove closer to the deck, he could see their brows furrowed in concern.

"What's it?" A Svefra man with sprawling tattoos and a heavily accented Common crossed his arms in confrontation. "Something wrong?"

"No, no!" Verrs sputtered. "It's land!"

"S'it land? Or s'it a mound of slush?"

Verrs shrugged and looked over his shoulder to check, but the land was not visible from the deck. By the time he had turned around, the man was already rushing away to spread the word. The activity on the deck increased as people readied their positions. Although it would likely be bells before they reached the inlet, it was the most excitement they had seen in days and the burst of energy was more than welcome.

Reverrsoi, however, found himself at a loss. He didn't want to help with the sails this time as it had proven so disastrous last time, but he also didn't know what else he could do to help. All around him, positions filled up. Reverrsoi stood frozen, waiting for someone to issue orders, but no one spoke up. The captain was nowhere to be found, and the cogs of the machine turned on their own, leaving Reverrsoi behind.

Suddenly, a hand clamped onto his shoulder, jarring him from his despair.

"If you just stand there the Captain is going to come and beat your ass." The Vantha did not grin or snarl, but his eyes sparkled in a way that Verrs was almost certain was humorous. "Come help out with the anchor, kid." Verrs shook his head, gearing up to explain that he didn't know how to work the anchor and that his strength was so little in comparison to the Coolwaters'. or Svefras' The man would hear none of it.

"We'll show you what you need to know before we drop. Come on."

Run straight out of excuses and left with no ideas for counterpoints, Reverrsoi swallowed his pride and gave in.

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[Reverrsoi]

"I found 'im!" The sailor shouted across the deck, waving his arms to a second sailor who was parked by the anchor.

The second sailor, a Vantha woman, cheered and waved back. "Alright!"

Found him? Reverrsoi puzzled. They were looking...for me? Cautiously, almost afraid to accept the fortune, he smiled and waved back.

---

"Well see, this's the anchor on this ship. S'a...what'd you call it?" The man gestured roughly to the Vantha.

"A plow."

"A plow." He repeated, continuing his explanation. "S'strong, but we still can't jus' throw it in 'er. We gotta lotsa planning to go on setting it. So first thing first, we needa know how deep the water here's." He paused, as if waiting for a response. Verrs nodded encouragingly, trying to get him to go on, but he just stammered. "Uh, a guess'll do us. Jus' close."

Oh. The realization his Verrs just slightly too late. They want me to dive. They weren't looking for me, they were looking for a water-breather.

The man continued to ramble on as Verrs' face darkened. "I'd do it, but we need somebody up 'ere what for the rope an' all, an' the cold-"

"I'll do it." Reverrsoi interrupted curtly. Even if that's all they needed him for, at least he would get learning out of the exchange. He stripped his clothes to the sounds of the sailors' smattered praises.

"Time me." He commanded. Whatever the response, it was quickly washed out by the rush of water in his ears.

Being underwater wasn't something Reverrsoi enjoyed, but it certainly wasn't something he disliked. It was a natural method of movement, faster and more intuitive no matter how much he wanted to fit in on the dry land. Though he despised the way it made him different, he could not deny that the different felt good. The chill of the water brushing against his bare skin but swirling away from his fur as he paddled his tail. His wings curled and twisted as he navigated the water, finding his way down farther and farther.

The water was not icy as it sometimes was, but it was still thick with slurry from where the boat stirred the bottom. It became harder to see the deeper he went. At some point, he simply closed his eyes and paddled blindly. The mounting pressure on his temples told him the direction was true. When he finally hit enough dust and silt that he was unable to continue, he declared it in his mind the "bottom". It would have to be close enough. He spun around and headed back for the surface.

Nearing the surface of the water was by far his favorite part. The sun refracted through the waves made the colors dance in every shade of blue he could imagine, and some he couldn't conjure on his own no matter how long he thought. Just seeing it made his hands ache to hold the flute. But whatever romance he held in his heart for the sea immediately shattered when he broke free.

The sailors awaited him broke into noisy cheers again and held their hands out over the edge. "Come on up!" The Vantha cried.

Reverrsoi beat his wings free of the water and, ignoring their hands, carried himself onto the deck. He shrugged off their offers of dry clothes or blankets, shaking his fur dry instead and letting the biting wind take care of his wings. His hair crusted frozen in long rivulets almost instantly, but he just brushed them haphazardly from his face.

"How long was it?" Verrs asked.

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[Reverrsoi]

Reverrsoi began to wrap his clothes back around his body slowly as the Svefra explained the next step.

"We gotta take the depth, right? An' add seven times that, an' that's gonna be our rope." He held out the length of rope between his hands, measuring loosely with his eyes. "If y'need to measure that's fine. I'so used to it by now that I jus' kinda know. An' then we drop it in."

Reverrsoi was continuously surprised by the lack of ceremony on the ship. He did not call out or cheer; he simply waited for the ship to grind to a halt, got the signal from the captain, and tossed the anchor into the ocean. It seemed to sink forever, despite the weight of it. When it finally hit the ground, the impact reverberated loosely up through the rope that rippled in the waves.

The man yanked on the rope with a heavy grunt. The woman rolled her eyes. "You can't anchor the entire ship by yourself." She announced. Whether she was speaking to Verrs or to no one in particular, he couldn't tell. The man certainly didn't listen. He just continued with his work.

"So we signal to the Captain that we've dropped," He explained, "And she's work with the folks on the sails to bring us 'round backward 'way from shore. Might take a chime, but it'll make everything safer 'n' steadier."

"And then we go through it one more time to be safe." The woman chimed in. She was leaning off the side of the boat, watching the anchor and water move below them. "Somebody's got to stay here by the anchor anyway, though. We generally don't have a problem, but I'd hate to be the guy on watch when we did!" She laughed in a short, humorless bark.

Verrs tipped his head in her direction. "Do you do that?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes. Nobody ever wants to stay on the boat so we have to do shifts sometimes."

Verrs' heart flipped over in his chest. "Oh, I could stay here."

The sailors eyed him, almost suspicious of his eagerness to stay behind. "You don't wanna go on land? The hunt's where all the glory's!" The man teased.

The woman nodded back. "Even if you can't hunt, they have some people gathering plants and stuff, too."

Reverrsoi waved his hands in front of himself, shivering all the way up to his wings. "No, thanks! I'll stay here! I really don't want to see, uh, the hunt." Silence stretched as the ship moved over the bay's gentler waters. "I...don't want to see the seals die." He muttered.

The sailors shared a look between themselves. "You know they're gonna be coming back on the ship, right? We have to store them in the boxes under deck."

Verrs' stomach turned and he pulled a face. "Yeah. I try not to think about it."

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[Reverrsoi]

The Svefra man sighed and wiped his hands on his pants. "That's all for anchor work, really. If you wanna stay here, I s'pose that's fine." He looked to the Vantha woman for reassurance. She lifted her hands in an exaggerated shrug. He nodded back at her, and then at Reverrsoi as if he were telecommunicating the shrug.

"Have fun?" The man offered.

"I will have much more fun here." Reverrsoi confirmed.

Five bells later, Reverrsoi had stopped having fun.

At first, it was fun. Watching the fish pass by and listening to the sounds of the sailors and gatherers on land was entertaining enough. When the repetitiveness got boring, Verrs was more than content to simply sit and think. He hummed to himself, composing freestyle songs in his mind while he watched the rope bend in the reflection of the water. But there came a point where he was done being in his own head, and it became clear that nothing was happening.

The anchor wasn't going anywhere. He could see now why they were so perplexed by his eagerness to stay behind. At the same time, he could not leave it behind. It would be just his luck to leave the anchor behind and immediately have the ship drift away. He wondered, though, if he could switch out his job. He hadn't heard much in the way of animal sounds, or any hunting sounds for that matter, and he wouldn't mind some foraging. Reverrsoi leaned around and over, trying his best to spot the sailors on land without leaving his post. He waved an arm haphazardly, trying to attract some kind of attention.

It only took him a few chimes before he successfully attracted attention, but it was not the kind he wanted. As he leaned over the side, he heard in the water beneath him an almost silent splash. Verrs slowly turned around, looking anxiously at the waves. He found just beneath the surface were a pair of small beady black eyes positioned over a squat, square nose and they were looking directly at him. A seal!

Almost as quickly as he had the thought, the critter was gone. It shot through the water leaving hardly a ripple in its wake. Though Verrs' disappointment was palpable, he knew better than to turn away. The seal would not be alone at such an age. Two older seals followed shortly after, each turning their heads to give Verrs a side eye as they zipped past.

Reverrsoi was pulled from the mesmerizing sight by the sounds of Vani as a few sailors wandered back onto the ship. Instinctively, he straightened up and pulled away from the edge where he had been gazing into the water. His arms stood almost straight against his sides and his expression froze.

The Vantha woman from earlier approached him first, a cautious smile on her face. "What are you doing?" She chuckled. "You look like you've been caught."

"I was...looking at me." Verrs sputtered in Vani.

"Caught admiring yourself, huh?"

"Right. Myself." He corrected. As they spoke, the Svefra man sauntered back to check on the anchoring. Although it felt like slow motion, Reverrsoi didn't have time to catch him. His heart sank as the other man whispered in awe.

"Oh Laviku, thank you. There's seals!"

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[Reverrsoi]

It was time to go. The entire ship was much more jovial this time around. They hadn't found as much food as they normally would have- not even close- but though they had all been afraid to admit it, many of the sailors thought they would not come back with anything at all. As was Vantha tradition, they celebrated what they had, and rejoiced in the smallest blessing. As was Akvatari tradition, Reverrsoi did not.

When it was time to go, he took a quick look at the water around the bay for the ship. He gave the all clear upon return, and watched miserably as the sails turned and unfurled. Once the ship had begun to move back on itself, he moved to help lift the anchor almost automatically. They had to work with great timing, as the anchor could only be lifted when the ship was directly above it. The crew worked in fascinating synchronization that Reverrsoi could not possibly keep up with. It was a much harder task than dropping, and each of the men came away with sweat on their brow and burning muscles, but it was still easier than Verrs had expected and was done before he really knew what he was doing.

The men around him chattered happily, boasting about what they had found and what they would be doing when they got home. Verrs could not deny that he could also use a trip to the bars, but he hardly wanted to join in with the sailors. He could not imagine the mortification of having to invite himself, and he knew better than to hope he would be invited of anyone else's accord.

After all, what kind of friend was he? He was nothing like them. He could hardly speak their language. He couldn't share their stories of hunting parties or share their excitement at the prospects of their coming meal. He couldn't sing their songs along with them. The best Reverrsoi could do was sit up by the sails, feel the wind, and do his duty as an outsider. If he happened to mime the songs they sang as if he were joining in on his flute, then no one would see him anyway. That was just for him. It was a private song that couldn't be heard over the strong winds and the rippling of the waves against the wooden deck of the ship.

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