Book One: Forward
It's Summer now... The year is 494 and it feels as though I woke yesterday and not yesteryear... Last week, Inamus suggested I buy some books and quills and start writing about what I feel and what I am dreaming, because if I don't we all agree that I will drive myself into insanity and try to drown again...
I decided to agree with them on this matter; they have proven invaluable friends and I place my utmost trust in them. Yet, I've chosen to write in Anumeric. It's not that I think they'll try to dig up dirt on me and betray my secrets to the cold world I've joined... It's just that I'm not ready to share yet. Maybe I never will be, and I'm afraid to find that to be true...
It's so cold here, on Mizahar, on the world Ivak destroyed. I hope this saves me from that roiling despair that has consumed me once before... I do not want to die.
Summer 14th, 494 AV
Well... It's my first day writing, and I just don't know exactly how to start... When I asked Rima she said 'Just write. It will come to you'... Well, I'm just writing and it sucks so far... This is terrible! I'm even writing like the way they speak!
I'm quite glad no one I know can read this, or else they'd interrogate me. As such, I find that comforting. I'll write about my fall today, and then about what we've been doing.
I can't remember much about that day in the Spring, except for the icy bite of the Sea's foam and the way it stuck to my skin and made it hard to open my eyes. I awoke on land, and Inamus, the one who brought me home, told me that the Moontide Pod had turned me in to the beach and returned to their 'Svefra ways'. I don't remember that Pod or anything. I remember the cotton sheets and that little girl staring at me. I don't even know her name. She died during the Winter. I was gone by then.
Today, Markus and Andreas tried to coerce me into buying them their alcohol. They succeeded, but only because Rima came along and scared me enough to do so. A tiger Kelvic... Such a terrifying creature. I wish I could bond with her, but I just can't. She'd die on me like that poor human girl. I wish I saw Inamus so I could sympathize with him, but I could only return his letter with my condolences.
Last night, I had one of those weird dreams again. Andreas' Familiar told me today that my mind was more receptive when I was asleep. Needless to say, I found a Lightsider's knowledge of mortal minds disturbing, but I don't doubt the information. That little creature is very intelligent.
It was a bad dream, one would say. A nightmare of sorts. Well, Rima would. In it there was a Symenestra. For some reason, we were lying on the grass and staring at the sky, and he was telling me of the fiery star called 'Runas' and its twin, 'Enoch'. I found it comforting, and I told Markus this and he smiled and said it must have been something good that happened in my past life. I just can't help the thought that Rima would be upset to know I dreamt of a Symenestra. Her sister was taken as a surrogate after all.