Reflections of a Vantha Girl (Linya's Journal)

[Linya]

I try to keep him out of my mind. I try to forget about his warm eyes and loving smile. I try to forget his hands guiding mine over the smooth carving wood, ever patient. I try to forget him training my voice, proud smile squeezing my heart. I can't. I drown his name in melancholy melodies, but he is still burned into my heart. I keep a smile on my face, but really I remember the day he died.

"Come Linya. Today we will hunt." He smiles, patting my head. I nod vigorously, exited to spend the day with him. When we reach the plains, we duck down silently. I watch the huge herd of bison intently.He takes out his bow and strings up an arrow, ready to shoot. I giggle and he half turns, smile on his face. When he turns, the arrow shoots up and misses the bison, instead spiraling into the ground. That's when things go wrong. The bison rear up, charging in every direction. I am separated from him, screaming his name over and over. I yell until I feel a sharp pain in my stomach, a bison is raking his horn over my abdomen, blood spilling out and pain overwhelming me. Then I see him, "Linya!" he cries, dashing over and throwing himself on top of me. I feel hooves and horns and pressure pushing down, but he gets the brunt of it all. When I slide out from under him twenty minutes later, his eyes are glazed and he isn't breathing. He's gone. I almost died too, he saved me.

It is my fault. I killed my brother with my giggle. My foolish girly impulse. The guilt will eat me from the inside forever.