A Game of Lies [Lunafang]

In this story, Levi manipulates the people of Zeltiva to get what he wants.

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Center of scholarly knowledge and shipwrighting, Zeltiva is a port city unlike any other in Mizahar. [Lore]

A Game of Lies [Lunafang]

Postby Levi Athan on June 10th, 2012, 3:49 pm

Levi felt his lips slowly curl into a grin as Lunafang questioned his ability to kill her. Was she really so naive as to be unable to see her predicament? Her arms were bound by iron manacles, it would take the strength of a Jamoura to break them apart. Her wings were bound by rope to ensure she didn't fly away. She was locked in a cage that didn't so much as permit her to fully stand. There was nothing she could do if he were so inclined to reach through the bars, and bury an axe in her head or dagger through her chest. Levi brought his face nearer to the bars for a moment. "Listen to my heartbeat. Do you hear the thrill of the hunt pounding in my chest? Use your eyes then. Do you see me standing outside of your cage? Look at your claws, restricted as they are. Do you truly believe you have anything left to threaten me with? Zith, listen to me closely, because I will not say this again. I am the only one that can guarantee you live. I am the one that will feed you. I am the one that will not chop your head from your shoulders, though I'd probably start with your fingers and toes first. If you try to make my life miserable, I will promise you my wrath will be tenfold as harsh as yours." Levi tapped the bars gently with the axe in his hand before sliding it back through his belt. He had her beat, whether she knew it, accepted it, or denied it, she lost.

"You might want to get some sleep. We have to move camps tomorrow so that nobody bothers us. Wouldn't want you to get lost, now would I?" Levi nodded to himself before walking towards his tent. Later, he would find a way to shelter the cage just a little better from the environment. A tarp at least would keep her safe from rain. For tonight, the cage was all she had. Let's hope she finds some comfort there, because it wasn't going to change anytime soon.


OOCI say we end it here, or after your post so we can get this graded and move on to meeting Crivus.
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Levi Athan
A True Businessman
 
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A Game of Lies [Lunafang]

Postby Echelon on June 27th, 2012, 6:41 pm

This Intervention has been overturned by a HIGHER Echelon of STrs. Enjoy your lootz.
Null :
Intervention

This was good, but whenever you have such a violent thread in such an enlightened city you need to expect some hiccups. So lets get to what needs to be edited before I can approve this and award your XP.

First, if it was common knowledge that a Zith was in the woods it would have been dealt with a long time ago. Zeltivans don't want Zith breeding outside their walls. So, try to be more specific how you found out she was out there, and when you report it was a Zith don't imply it it such common knowledge.

Secondly, when Levi runs from the alleyway he would be covered in the old man's blood. It would not take a very observant man to suspect him of murder. Find a way around this.

Then, explain to us how Levi knows so much about Zith. I don't see copious amount of Anthropology skill, so you should at least imply where he picked up such info, if not have somebody tell him it all.

Zeltivans would use nets, and likely tridents or swords. Not just tackle a Zith. Most of the scene can remain the same, but don't expect a bunch of Zeltivan to rush in close to an enemy.

Usually I would take issue with the general temperament of the people. Though after the storm it is justifiable.

And Luna. Your unarmed and hunting are both too low for such a clean kill (of the deer.) Please edit accordingly.

When you edit please change the color of the altered text so that we can see the edited places me clearing when I come over this again. It will make the process much quicker.

Once these changed are made this intervention will be removed, and replaced by your grades. Thank you for your patience, and I'm sorry these inconsistencies weren't brought to your attention sooner. Have fun editing.


Adventurer's Loot

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A Gift
Experience is its own reward.
Levi's Loot :
Levi

Skill XP Reward
Organization +1XP
Axe +1XP
Unarmed Combat +2XP
Acting +2XP
Subterfuge +2XP
Persuadion +1XP
Leadership +1XP
Rhetoric +1XP

Lore:
Jumping at Opportunity
Zith: Attributes
Empty Words
Believing WIll Above Gods

Items or Consequences:
None

Notes: None

Lunafang's Loot :
Lunafang

Skill XP Reward
Hunting +1XP
Unarmed Combat +2XP
Observation +1XP
Philosophy +1XP

Lore:
Unsettling Intuition
Tears of Injustice
Relinquish Control

Items or Consequences:
-1 Ration

Notes: None

(Despite some inconsistancies I enjoied this read. Levi you did a great job. I would have enjoyed more input to the story and environment from Luna. Thanks for sharing.) - if you have ANY questions or concerns about this grading, please PM me.
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