Solo Live Animal Testing (Solo)

[Minerva Agatha Zipporah]

5th Day of Autumn, 512 AV Early Morning Tock awoke with the dawn, as she usually did, never being one to waste the day away one useless sleep. The only time she liked sleep was when she dreamed of her magic city. To this day, she often still returned there, continuing to make it grow and develop, bringing it further and further until it became something far greater than she could ever have imagined. Except lately she didn't dream of her city. Too often, she dreamed of her Da, and awoke screaming after reliving frantic memories of his abuse. Or she dreamt of Mikey, seeing the broken, unholy body she had placed him in coming after her, stumbling and shambling because of her failure to give him proper form. Moaning incoherently because of her failure to give him a voice. Chasing her as she ran, knowing that it was too late to fix him, yet knowing that he would have no rest as long as he remained in the body she had forced him into. Then came the hatchet. And the blood. And the tears... She woke in a cold sweat, heart pounding in her chest. Her mind fuzzy, she couldn't remember which it had been this time, whether she had been running from her Da or from her failures. But as she pulled her trembling body from the bed, she felt the urge she always felt: to keep moving, keep working, keep focused on the future. The past didn't matter. Where she came from and what she had been before didn't matter. It was done and over with. She had to keep going. Pulling on her pants, she plodded barefoot outside, rubbing her hands across her tear-stained face. Diving right into her work was the best way to push those thoughts and feelings away. Better than facing them and dwelling on them. She looked around her new plot of land, covered with stacks of bricks and lumber, holes dug for unfinished foundations. Then she heard the whimpering coming from her shed. The wolf. She stepped over to the shed and opened it. The poor thing was lying on the bottom of the cage, head resting on its paws, golden eyes staring sadly at her. Trapped, lost, alone... No, she wouldn't feel sorry for it. "Yer jus' a 'speriment," she told it, gritting her teeth. "Jus' spare parts..." It whimpered at her, and she stared it down. Once it was dead, the pain she put it thought wouldn't matter. What difference did it make if it suffered, if its soul was going to be released soon anyway? What difference did it make if its heart ached, when she was going to cut that heart out and rebuild it? It didn't matter. She tossed some fish through the cage bars, just because she had to keep it healthy until it was time to slice it open. Then she pondered how to begin her tests. Better to get started, and get it over with. Not to save the creature more time spent suffering... No, simply because she had work to do. She had a Wolf Golem to build. "I's gonna make one better'n you," she told it, staring it right in the eye. "One what ain't cryin' an' whimperin'..." She rubbed her arm across her still damp eyes, sniffling and still fighting off the trembling that had held her since she awoke. "Gonna make a strong one," she whispered. "One what ain't gotta run from nothin'..."