Party on Fire[The Spade's family house]

by **Elaine Spade** on November 4th, 2012, 5:36 pm

Spring 10, AV 511

"... and the party will start soon, when is she gonna be ready?" Mrs.Spade was impatient because of her daughter, Elaine who went to her room to dress up for the party. Mr.Spade tried to calm her down."Dont worry dear, she need some time." Said Mr.Spade. "I guess you have right." Said Mrs.Spade and she went to the living room, to check everything is in place and ready. Mr.Spade went out from the house for some fresh air. It was night, the stars and the Moon showed up. It was a pretty night.

Elaine went to her mirror. She just looked at herself and her dress. She didn't have the mood to do this. No, she rather read but she couldn't, her parents just hid her books somewhere, where she couldn't find it. It's gonna be boring, she thought and she went to her window. She looked out and saw the moon. She loved it, it's peaceful. It's as peaceful and pretty as one of the romantic book wrote down, what she read. And the stars were shining around the moon. She would just watch it for hours and hours just to not be at the party. But no help. She have to do it, cause her parents just did this for her.Even if she didn't show it and didn't talk much, she loved her parents, so she knew she had to do it. Then she noticed some guests just arrived early, her father was laughing and invited them into the house. She sighed and sat down on the bed. Her tired eyes became empty as always, when she had to do something what she didn't want to. She started to hum a song what her mother sang for her when she was little. That just made her more calm and peaceful. Yeah calmness, that's something what won't happen in the party.

"Come in my friend, Come in!" Invited the guests in Mr.Spade. Mrs.Spade greeted them and brang them some drink. They laughed and laughed and Mrs.Spade went up on the stairs and knocked the door of Elaine's room. "Darling!" She yelled. Nothing. She knocked the door again. "Darling come out!" She yelled again. Nothing. She opened the door and Elaine still was sat on her bed. " Oh Dear didn't u hear I knocked the door?" She asked, and she was worry. " I did hear it, but I was so calm in here." Elaine awsnered. Mrs.Spade sighed and sat next to Elaine. She looked at her daughter and smiled at her. Elaine looked at her. Her mother hugged her and caressed her." Don't worry, it is gonna be a fantastic party you'll gonna enjoy it." She said and kissed her on the forehead. Then she stood up from the bed and went down to the living room. Or not, thought Elaine and she stood up from the bed too. She took a deep breath, walked out from her room, she closed the door and went down the stairs. " Oh my dear, Elaine long time no see! You are just a lady!" said Mrs. Rose an old,fat woman, who always had expensive clothes on. Pathetic, thought Elaine. "Yeah she is our lady!" Laughed Mr.Spade and put his arm around her daughter. Elaine didn't say anything, as always she was quiet and her eyes still showed no interest to this party.

by **Elaine Spade** on November 4th, 2012, 6:59 pm

Lots of guests were there. Lots of laughs, lots of noises, lots of yellings, lots of foods. Lot of thing, that's just distrubed the "Silent Lady", because that's how the guests called her. She sat at the table and ate something and drank something. Not much but she had nothing better to do. Mrs.Spade best friend just asked her: " I know you said she is quiet, but that quiet?" Mrs.Spade was worry again and didn't know what to do. Elaine looked at the guests. Thin, fat,rich,poor any type of person you could find here. She stood up and started walking around the house. She tried to find a person who can be interesting. She is boring, he is boring, he is a moron, no,no,no. She found noone. She wanted to read badly, she was annoyed by the noises. Her father's seen this and asked her to serve some drink for the guests. "Okay dad" she said and she took a tray, put some glass of wine on and offered the guests some drink. Girl move into Elaine, who nearly split out the wine. " ELAINE!!!" Yelled the girl. " REMEMBER ME? WE USED TO ... "PLAY" TOGETHER!!!" Elaine get annoyed, she awsnered nothing, she didn't even remember her. She walked away to serve some more drinks.

Later on this night, Elaine again sat down to the table. She was caressing her hair, when her mom came with a boy. " Elaine I want to show my best friend's son, Alfred. Be nice with him and have fun!" She smiled and sound excited. Alfred smiled too. Elaine wasn't looking at him, she was thinking when this party ends. The boy just took her hand and kissed it. Now Elaine payed atteinton. Alfred, he was very tall and had good shaped body. He had brown hair. It was short and straight, it seemed he styled it. He had green eyes , long and beak noise. He had freckle on his face however it looked good on him. He wore his finest tuxedo. He looked like a gentleman. His smile was charming, but Elaine found it too creppy. She wasn't happy she had to be with him." Your eyes are beautiful, my silent Lady." said Alfred and Elaine couldn't talk from the disgusting. Not like she would talk anyway. Typical handsome, rich boy, and he is a BOY, not very interesting. Thought Elaine and tried to say something. "Thank you!" then she took away her hand immideatly from Alfred's hands. She stood up from the table and walked to go out. Alfred followed her, like a dog. He is worse than Mr.Herb, from "Mr.Herb's Garden" book, Mr.Herb even more charming, thought Elaine and she sat down next to a tree and watched the moon and the stars. Alfred sat next to her and started flirting with her. He just talked and talked and talked, Elaine didn't know what but she heared he talked. The boy tried to put his arm around Elaine, and touched nearly everywhere. Then Elaine got mad, when he heared this " Oh cmon why would women read books all the time? It's just paper, they should cook, take care of their child..." Elaine gone mad."What do you mean by it's just paper?" She asked. "oh You finally talk and yes it's rubbish and women don't even understand them." And he started to laugh. Elaine just took a little stone and hit Alfred's face. When Elaine hit him, he fell down. Alfred suprised and couldn't even react on it. Alfred stood up, he was dizzy. His beak noise was bleeding. " YOU B*TCH, ARE YOU FREAKING CRAZY? " He yelled, but Elaine just went back to the house and left the boy suffering there with his head.

by **Elaine Spade** on November 4th, 2012, 8:43 pm

Elaine really wanted to read now. Her body was shivering , while she sat on the chair. She tried to think about nice things, but at this rate of noise she couldn't. Her mother came and she was angry. She took Elaine arm to stand up and she whispered to her. "You really just hit Alfred with a stone? Elaine are you idiot?" She was in panic." They went away from the party. Now I don't know what is Alfred's mom thinking about me." She said. Elaine said " I'm sorry" but not like she was really sorry. Mrs.Spade just sighed and sat down to calm down a bit. Elaine was really annoyed cause the noise, she went in circles in the house. She had to read now, she is bored, she is tired and she is annoyed. Every people tried to talk with her. But she just went in circles. Elaine is mostly a calm and quiet person, but this party too much for her. She sat down too again. She looked out from the window. The moon is dissapeared into the clouds. The party nearly ended, Elaine went to get some food. But something strange happened. She heared the voices clearly now. "..That girl is sure creppy" " Books are boring" " She even can't get a herself a boy" and other terrible things she heared. The guests were talking about her or she hear voices in her head? She just heared them. She went to another room. She still heared them. She tried another room, they were louder now. What was going on? She covered her ears. She still heared them. "Dont think about them, dont think about them." she repeated to herself,but no help. Then somebody just lie her hand on Elaine's shoulder and asked what's the matter. Elaine yelled "SHUT UP ALREADY I WANT SOME CALM" And she pushed down the candles from the tables.

" FIRE, FIRE,FIRE!!!!!" One of the guest was screaming and ran away from the house. The other guests saw it too now. The flames were coming from the kitchen and people started to panic. Everybody pushed everyone and ran back-up. Mrs and Mr. Spade were searching their daughter. The beams were about to fell down. Elaine calmed down and saw the flames what she just made. The party is over, finally, she thought and she started to go up the stairs. The flames were fast and couldn't be stopped, it destroyed everything what it's touch. Elaine parents saw their daughter to go up to her room. " ELAINE NO, COME DOWN!!" Her mother was screaming and ran after her. Her father followed her. Elaine just entered her room, she looked all over. Peace. She went to the window and she looked at the moon, it appeared again. " ELAINE!!" Her mother came in and hugged her daughter. His father came in too " My dears!!!" and hugged too. The ceiling didn't take the fire well. It fell off on the Spade's family.

Morning.The flames calmed down. The sun was rising, everybody calmed down, cause only one house burned down. Everyone went to the Spade's family house. Only ruins and some dead body. They started to clean this place and find the dead bodies. They found 3 people, who were together. A woman, a man and a girl. The girl was smiling between her parent's arms. Elaine Spade at her last moment, showed a true feeling.

by **Echelon** on November 10th, 2012, 7:46 pm

Adventurer's Loot

A Gift
Experience is its own reward.

Elaine's Loot :

(lol are you Spanish? It's clear English isn't your first language? That said it doesn't get in the way of the story. I'm actually impressed how well you remained in past tense.
Do try to keep in mind that books are fairly rare in Mizahar, and not many fictions exist in writing. Most are passed by word. I realize this may complicate your character archetype, but fitting into the environment is essential. That said it is clear that Elaine's family was wealthy and they likely could afford books from all over. Those were of course all burned with her. Perhaps she should go find some more. Also give some thought to why Elasine is remaining around as a ghost instead of moving on.
Your story is very cereal and I very much enjoyed the overall feeling of it. It seems you should become better acquainted with the world's lore and feeling, but that will come in time. For now, all seems in place. Welcome to Zeltiva.) - if you have ANY questions or concerns about this grading, please PM me.

Flashback Party on Fire[The Spade's family house]