Living a new reality (solo)

[Ginchoeri]

Day of the 30th of Fall 512 AV Gin was walking from work at A Hunter's Rest. She was told that she had done enough for the day and she did not know what else she should do. She was walking down one of the busy walk ways, on her way home. Well on her way to her tent, which was her home, but moveable and such, like all homes in Endrykas are. She hummed as she walked, her hood over her head, hiding her hair as she had gotten into the habbit of doing from the start of her stay in Endrykas. But it was not really helping her at all. She was known, even if just from rumors now. It had only been five days since the incident with Viper, her saving him and revealing herself as a kelvic in front of so many of the Opal clan. It was obvious that there was going to be stories about her crawling about the moving city, seeing as the walls were not exactly sound proof. In fact, news had traveled so fast, even just the day after, it seemed that more people had been noticing her. It was amazing to her. Even with her hood up, it was like it was the most obvious thing, like a marker, telling people who she was. She sighed, she might as well not have her cloak on, well, at least, her hood up. It was sad really... she was so uncomfortable lately, she almost despised the thought of going out. As if it would kill her to be noticed. Not that her job helped any. In fact, it probably just brought more attention to her. So much that she was stopping buisness at times. Which made her blush. She never would ever consider herself that good, but it seemed that the Drykas liked her enough to do so. It made her feel discomboulated, many a time. She side stepped, avoiding a near collision with a large man. She bowed her head as the man appologized and they were both right back to their business, on their way to their destinations. But Gin still did not really know what her destination was. She thought for a moment. She could stop by the training grounds and see if anyone was willing to teach her some hand to hand combat. She had been meaning to learn for some time, but she had not really found the guts to ask anyone for guideance. And she still was not finding the guts for she decided against it. But what else could she do? She could visit the horses, but would that not draw even more attention to her. People might get curious and look to see who is looking at the horses and speaking to all of them as if they had been friends for life. She sighed, clutching her harp, which her father made, closer to her chest. She had to figure out something and fast, she was starting to think that she was not truly able to think for herself. For she felt the urge to ask someone for assistance on this or that thing, that she really did need to know, but she did not really want to do right at this very moment. She grimaced as she felt a shiver of discomfort coarse through her. Eyes on her from all directions now. Now, she would not dare and lower her cloak hood, for if she did, she felt every person around her would pounce on her. Asking questions, and giving her praises she did not want to hear. The same kind of praises Sama'el had given her earlier in the season. Saying that she was blessed by the gods and all that bull. Oh no, she was not going to just stand and listen to that. Not right now at least. That is not what she needed. Not what she wanted. What she really wanted was to see Viper, ask him how he was doing, but she did not know which pavillion was his, if he even had a pavillion, or where it was. And she was not about to go around asking everyone and anyone if they had heard of where Viper was or if they had seen him. Because of the rumors and the fact that all these people were watching her like a hawk. It was making her uncomfortable. She refused to put herself in such a difficult position. What she needed was some time to think, she needed to relax and breath. She needed to find a calm and quiet place to be, where she would not be distrubed. Though she did not want to go out of the city. She was not going out there again, at least, not without someone there to protect her or something. Of course that would make meditating difficult seeing as the other person would probably want to talk to her, or get bored and kind of run off, leaving her alone to fend for herself when she was not completely aware of her surroundings. Which was not a good thing, when she had absolutely no skills at anything that had to do with fighting. Heck, it was a miracle she had killed that wolf, a fluke. She almost thought that she wished she had not killed it, but she quickly pushed that thought away. She was glad she did, because she had saved someone, she had saved Viper. With just a couragous attempt and allowing herself to follow her instincts. His face flashed into her mind again and she gave a smile as she walked absent mindedly through Endrykas's web of paths. When she bumped into a man she was shocked out her daze. She looked up to see angry brown eyes, and she backed away a bit. Fear eating at her, which was evident on her face. "Watch where you're goin' young miss" The man growled as he shoved her to the side. She stumbled and fell to the ground in between two tents. The man walked on. Ignoring her, leaving her there as he continued on whatever his business was. She glowered at his back and stood up brushing herself of. Scuff marks on her blue dress and dirt dissapearing slowly. She sighed, she would have to wash it at some point. Then she remembered her harp in the hand that she had not used to brush herself off. She opened the case and sighed in relief, it was perfectly fine. Her fathers art was fine. This was good. She was low on money, she could not afford to have to fix it. She put it back in it's case and walked back into the crowd and aimed for home. The quietest place she could think of to meditate. The crowd started to thin and she felt less and less eyes on her. And when she finally got to her tent, she could finally feel no more eye's on her. She was so glad. She felt released from that stress, even if it were just for that moment. She opened her tent flap and walked in. She was about to have quite a bit of R & R with herself. Meditation, being that R & R. She placed her harp down and slipped her cloak off, breathing a sigh. Was she really ready to try again? Was she ready for the emotional stress? It had been a while since she had last done it, and she did not know if she could block her emotions from slamming back into her when she slipped out of her meditation. Oh well, what was to it other then to attempt it? She would never know unless she did. And though she had ment to ask a few questions before the next time she was to do it, she knew she needed this now. She was going to force patcience on herself. She would see Viper in due time, and she would figure out how to deal with all these people watching her as well. But right now. The answer was meditation. So she fixed her blankets and sat down on them, legs laying straight in front of her. Her hands to her side and behind her, she leaned back and took a deep breath. She could do this. She pulled her legs up so they were bent at the knees and her chin could lay on them. She wrapped her arms around her legs and tightend all her muscles and then let the loose. She repeated this a few times before she finally nodded and was truely ready.