[Note by Twister] Chaja

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Chaja

Postby Chaja on April 8th, 2013, 1:13 pm

Chaja


Image




she-Kelvic
born on the 50th of spring, 509 a.v in Ravok
4 years of age




"Invitation to Dance-
It’s a Dance. And sometimes they turn the lights off in this ballroom.
But we’ll dance anyway, you and I. Even in the Dark. Especially in the Dark.
May I have the pleasure?”

--Stephen King


Image
Chaja is not one to blend easily into a crowd. Her features, individually, are rather plain, but together they cut an imposing creature from the masses---one that has a tenancy to catch eyes.

At 6'4", she towers over other women and looks down at most men. Her body is all sinew a muscle, and her hands bear the scars and callouses of many fights. Her step is confident, and her presence can sometimes feel like a physical force. Her hair is a shade between brown and black, and she keeps it cropped short enough that is does not get in the way of her eyesight. Her eyes are brown and her skin is a bronzed tan, and she has been mistaken for a Myrian on occasion.

Though her appearance does not necessarily betray her Kelvic nature, there is a certain predatory aspect to her movements. Her eyes rove with a deceptive calm, as if the world is hers for the taking, but her step is light and cautious, and perhaps laced with a healthy dose of paranoia. She is a creature born for battle, and sees the world through the eyes of an animal.



Image


ImageChaja makes it no secret that she prefers her beast-skin over her human-skin. She is more at ease on four legs than two, and trusts her fangs more than her fists.

To someone who has never ventured into Cyphrus, she can seem a foreign sight; the size of a very large dog, she appears to be some strange combination of a wolf, cat and bear. She has a mane atop her neck, but it is an oddity among other animals--it flows backwards, towards her head, and can make her seem bigger than she really is. Her hide is mottled brown and smeared liberally with black splotches, and even when clean can seem to harbor filth. Her hind legs are shorter than her forelegs, which gives her back a slope, but does nothing to hinder her powerful stride. Her eyes are the same rich brown of her human eyes, and they bear the same savage cunning. Her teeth are jagged and yellow, and when she laughs, it goes without saying that she is not laughing with you.


Both Chaja's history and personality are to be fleshed out in-thread...


 
Skills
SkillTotalSPRBEXPProficiency
Brawling 252500Novice
Larceny202000Novice
Hunting100100Novice
Intimidation5500Novice
 
Lores
Being naked: not a good idea
Trusting Your Instincts
 
Languages
Common, fluent
Hyena-tongue, fluent
Dog-tongue, basic


Possessions

1 comb
1 razor
1 silk sash (heirloom)
7 gold mizas


Thread List


 
Spring of 513
The Stench of the Market - 40th
All she wanted was one fish...
Chaja
Player
 
Posts: 15
Words: 11247
Joined roleplay: April 7th, 2013, 3:14 pm
Race: Kelvic
Character sheet

Chaja

Postby Twister on December 17th, 2013, 6:58 pm

Image

Hello Chaja! I'm Twister, an Assistant Storyteller here on Mizahar. I looked over your CS and noticed something that needs to be addressed.

 
Ledger
You don't seem to have one! You have a few gms listed in your possessions, but there is no ledger to be found where you document what happened to the rest of the gms that you started with. Please make a complete ledger and account for all of your expenses (and earnings).
 
Possessions
You're entitled to much more than the items you have listed, if you take a look at the Starting Package. Are you sure you don't want any of it?
 
Housing
Players in Mizahar are required to list their housing. Where they live, if anywhere, or how they get by if they don't have a steady home to call their own. You have completely left this out, and need to amend this and talk about your housing somewhere. Remember that you're able to trade in your housing for 500 gm, provided you find somewhere else to live. (Such as living in a tent, or hiring rooms at inns.)
 
Languages
You don't actually need to list your animal's "communcation" as a separate language. It's something that comes naturally while you are shifted into your animal form, and you wouldn't need to list two different ones. Especially not since I'm not sure if "dog-tongue" is even available to your species. Remove that entirely, and you don't need to mention the "hyena-tongue". You're still able to pick two other languages at "Common" and "Poor" proficiency, if you want.


Until these issues have been addressed, you should not post on this character. Once you've fixed what was mentioned above, PM me and I will remove the intervention.

Love,
Twister
.
User avatar
Twister
Justice is Dead, Faith is Blind
 
Posts: 784
Words: 258837
Joined roleplay: November 18th, 2012, 7:01 pm
Location: DS of Sunberth; Wildlands
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