Beware - Unidentified Flying Object (Eris pls)

[Malia]

Eris’ expression and her words intrigued Malia. Was there something she had to do, someone she had to find too? Apparently the woman had a certain antipathy towards magic which wasn’t unusual these days. Malia had heard that before the Valterrian, magic was an everyday phenomenon, one the people didn’t question or doubt, but this was the harsh world after the Valterrian. It was only natural that people mistrusted practices and individuals they couldn’t understand. Scholars and scientific institutions were sparse.

So, this only told her that Eris must have had a rough childhood. Like a wild cat she roamed the lands, belonging only to herself and trusting only her own skills and weapons. From studying her, Malia was pretty sure about that image being true.

When the human revealed, however, that she was searching for someone too, Malia felt eerily reminded of herself. A coincidence! Indeed, their meeting was one of those coincidences that were fate. The plan of the Gods mortals didn’t understand. Malia liked to think that she knew a bit more about the Gods than most pulsers – their lives were too short, too chaotic, to take some time to think. Indeed, peace of mind was how Eris called it, and Malia agreed that it was something like that.

After a first blink of surprise, the shadow of a smile crossed her features. It was not so much a happy smile but more of an expression she had picked up somewhere and was trying to copy. “Searching for peace of mind is a good goal. Unfortunately not many find the time to look for themselves in between hunting for food, shelter and material safety. Was that man an important part of your life before?” The flame of curiosity had been lit. Malia was eager to find out more. If their fates were in a way intertwined that could be of use to her.

But then, every blade had two edges. The obvious side wasn’t always the most important one. “Do you not think that something about … trying to get your own peace of mind from another individual is paradox? Thinking logically, you would have to avoid contact with any other being to gain insight into yourself.”

Their goals were different, but the means they used resembled each other. Malia briefly wondered what she was hoping to gain through her search for her ‘Master’. Perhaps she was just being nostalgic. Perhaps she hoped that he would solve everything for her like he had done before. What was Eris’ cause?

[Eris]

For a heartbeat, Eris was tempted to simply turn away. This woman had no business asking such questions, no business knowing anything about Eris – especially not something she did not entirely know herself. But she held back and the temptation passed, leaving behind the sort of careless emptiness she had grown accustomed to feeling more and more. Why not tell her? This woman was about as far from being a tangible part of Eris’s every-day life as one could get. They were no more than strangers and why should she not divulge a useless little piece of information to a stranger? A piece of information that held so much sway over her life and yet, seemed so terribly mundane – almost disgustingly so. “He was my father – is my father – if he is still alive,” Eris said, her shoulders rising and falling in a casual shrug. Had Locke been important in her life? She had never known him and yet, the search for him had become the bane of her existence. Pathetic. “I did not know him personally, but I have learned of him from my mother and a colleague of his. I guess he was never an important part of my life until now.”

Eris let out a short, dry laugh – surprised both at this stranger’s insight and at how much those thoughts mirrored her own. It was indeed a paradox, but one that she had lived most of her life with. It had become so mundane that she had quit thinking of it as being so ironic. “Logically, yes… But I find that logic tends to desert me what I need it most. I’m afraid I’ve rather given up on it. Besides, it’s only a paradox until I find an answer to it.” Unless I don’t. The unspoken words rang out in her head, resonating and echoing through her thoughts. That was what she feared most – that she would find Locke, but that nothing would change…that she would still have that hallow emptiness inside her head.

She tilted her head to the side, scrutinizing Azola. The woman asked interesting questions. One had to wonder if she held answers that were just as intriguing. “And what is it you seek in Syliras?” Eris inquired. “Must be more than a simple tourist outing.”

[Malia]

“I understand”, Malia said. Not so much because she wished to share some details about her own life, but because she hoped those two words would set Eris at ease and weaken her mental defenses. In many ways, Malia was making an experiment by talking to this pulser. How much could she trick her into thinking that her opponent was human? How far could she go with their conversation? What questions could she ask without angering her?

Besides, there were several surprisingly similar points in their biographies. Although she couldn’t help to call him ‘Master’, Malia was actually searching for her own father too. It had been so long ago, the last time she had called him ‘father’, and memories of her human existence felt like a hazy dream.

Eris, however, had decided to find her father without knowing what awaited her or if there even was something awaiting her. That struck Malia as very courageous. The woman knew what she wanted and didn’t allow herself any doubts, or so it seemed.

Then she nodded. The pulser had a point there. Perception was subjective, after all, and finding an answer was the easiest way to turn the paradox into something with logic and reason. Still, some paradoxes couldn’t be shoved aside that easily. Some of the most illogical parts in the world couldn’t be changed, no matter how hard one tried. Malia had experienced some herself, and lived through them. Although whether it could be called living was subjective as well. “What does not kill you only makes you stronger”, she commented weakly.

So what about her own case? She couldn’t be killed any more, at least not by ordinary means, but she didn’t feel all that stronger either. Instead, as of lately she got the feeling of missing something.

What Eris had said, about logic leaving her, sounded interesting, though. The concept was very new to the Nuit.

When asked about her own direction, Malia blinked. “I am no tourist, more like a citizen coming back from a trip abroad. I did some research on magical matters and have come back to practice.” It wasn’t her only reason, of course, but only the top of the iceberg, the part she could reveal to strangers. She didn’t mind speaking about herself if she wasn’t pressed on giving information, but Eris truly intrigued her. A part of her wondered if the pulser would make a good companion, despite her mortality and all the disadvantages that came with it.

That was what Malia had learned on her journey through the wilderness: Even pulsers could make good companions if you behaved like them and understood how their relationships worked. They were much more emotional than Malia. Sometimes she wondered if she was changing too, without really noticing it. Were her emotions slowly coming to the surface? She wasn’t sure whether she liked that, but she couldn’t prevent it anyway.

Eventually she decided to open some more towards the other woman. They were kind of ‘soul mates’, although Malia despised the word. Eris would be a strong and good support if they worked together – that was how she’d put it. Perhaps she would even understand Malia better than other pulsers did. “In fact, I am searching for my father too. I have known him before, though, and we got separated. Someone hurt our family very badly. I am trying to find him so we can work towards a vengeance together.”

There she grew silent, eyeing Eris. Would she react with sympathy?

[Eris]

She said she understood. Eris thought how ironic it was that this stranger could understand something about her when she herself had so much trouble figuring things out. It was a strange phrase to hear from the lips of a stranger and Eris found herself growing suspicious. Suspicion was the usual defense mechanism for her. It prevented her from becoming too attached.

She did have a point there – what did not kill Eris made her stronger, but only in a physical sense. When an enemy’s sword didn’t cut her in half, it sharpened her reflexes. When she managed to hang on to her horse’s mane as she galloped under a thunderstorm made her a better rider. But when she was the one who killed, it only seemed to make her weaker. It was only now that Eris fully realized this. She used to think that taking another life froze a little part of her, thereby surrounding her by a wall of ice. That wall served as a barrier between her and the world around her – the suffering, the pain, the emptiness… But now, it came to her that the wall of ice was more fragile and breakable than she ever was. Every kill had left her more and more depleted and the layer of ice was really only an illusion. There would come a time when it would shatter, hurting her all the more.

Eris came very close to suspecting that this meeting had somehow been prearranged. Could it really be possible that she and this stranger had so much in common? One going from Sahova to Syliras, the other travelling in the exact opposite direction. Both searching for their father. It seemed too fantastical to believe and a small part of Eris stayed a little skeptical. Eris did not believe in fate, nor did she believe that the gods cared enough to push two people toward such a meeting. However, she couldn’t help but emphasize with Azola just a little.

“Vengeance,” Eris mused, “that’s a noble reason to search for your father.” Eris fully realized that revenge was rarely considered noble. Most people viewed it as something to be avoided. She had on more than one occasion heard people counsel others against revenge: It’s stooping to a lower level. Forgiveness is a virtue. Personally, Eris found all those to be cowardly excuses. Revenge was justified in her view and anyone who was courageous enough to go searching for it deserved justice. “You are not afraid of revenge then?” Eris inquired, tilting her head to get a better look at Azola. “Most people see it as something vile that should be buried deep within one’s mind.”

[Malia]

Malia blinked. That was the first time she heard of vengeance being ‘noble’, and she wondered how Eris came to such a conclusion. Then, however, she seemed to rethink that concept and added another definition. Of course, what ‘most people’ thought and did wasn’t exactly a rule of thumb. Still, Malia understood what she meant.

And just there the tricky part started. As a person who had lived through the last two centuries without any change except for that of her physical vessels, Malia’s perception largely differed from that of pulsers. Even fellow Nuit wouldn’t fully grasp her mindset, because nobody else had spent two centuries exactly doing what she did, with the background she had. She knew the emptiness of a deserted road and a starless night. She knew what it meant to be lonely for longer than a human’s lifespan. There was darkness in her mind, she couldn’t deny that … but there was also the wish to have a purpose. Perhaps to help her ignore that darkness, or to find a way to express and live it.

What Malia revealed, though, was a single phrase she had heard her ‘Master’ say countless times. It had been burned into her mind and it was the first and only truth she fully believed. “Justice is an affectation of perspective, not a universal value. Thus, revenge cannot be called good or evil. Morals are an illusion – you choose if you believe it or not. As for me, I had no other choice, or rather, I could choose between a purpose in life and nothingness.” The words were spoken calm as ever, although there was a hidden sharpness to them.

Eris’ questions made her wonder … What caused this redhead to ask such questions? She had a deeper understanding than most humans. Malia recognized that she had made exceptional experiences. It would be of no use to ask directly, though.

In fact, there was no need to ask about the past whatsoever. What had happened, was not buried, but incorporated in the way one perceived the world and acted in it. The past lived in the present and opportunities and promises were minions of the future. What Malia saw in Eris was an opportunity. “What do you think … Does revenge justify murder? What value has killing in a world like this?” In a chaotic, lawless world like Mizahar there was nobody to punish you, if you were cautious enough. You could literally commit any crime you liked and get away with it.

And then, Malia dared to approach Eris further. She held up the stone and let it rotate in her fingers. “What would you say if you realized you were a cog wheel in a construct that is greater than mortality? If you would ignore morals to maintain balance between two powers? Would this be called justice?” Yes, she herself mostly relied on logic and reason, but even she couldn’t help but wonder what sense it made to kill someone off. It seemed logical to take on life to spare countless others. How did Eris, a pulser, think about that?

[Eris]

The last sentence of Azola’s reply to her question caught Eris’s attention and held it. The other woman had voiced what Eris hadn’t been able to put into words. That was what she was doing by searching for Locke – choosing between a purpose and emptiness.

Eris chose her words carefully, trying to phrase her thoughts in a way that would be clearly understood. “I believe it all depends on the degree of the initial act – the motivation for revenge. I do not believe murder is justified for petty crimes – something like sullying another person’s honor or stealing something valuable. The chivalry of the Syliran Knights – fighting for the honor of others and the like – is overrated and ultimately useless,” she said, waving her hand vaguely. Her expression darkened a little as she continued, “But if a person were to seek revenge on someone who has killed someone they loved, I would deem the resulting murder justified. There are those who tear apart families with an unprovoked swing of a blade, leaving children without mothers and wives without husbands. Those are the people who deserve to die - all the better they are sent to death by the very person whose life they have ruined.”

“Besides,” she added, the cloud that had passed over her face dispersing. “in a land where there is little order, the threat of revenge can serve to keep at least a few killers at bay. It must be more terrifying about having the child of a woman you have killed come after you then a band of the Sylirian knights.”

“Beyond mortality?” Eris echoed. “You mean if I were beyond death – immortal?” Eris wondered for a second time where Azola came up with these questions. These were not concepts that humans thought of on a regular basis. The questions appeared hypothetical and yet, Eris felt that there was a dose of reality to them that she was not aware of. She gave the question a few chimes’ thought before replying, “I’d like to think that I would be able to focus on whatever task it was I had to complete to keep the balance between these two powers unchanged. But ultimately, I doubt I would be able to ignore…mortals.” It was strange, speaking about humans as if she wasn’t one herself. “Justice requires some sort of emotion to be present. I don’t think cold logic would suffice. It must involve everyone, which includes mortals. Ignoring them to maintain a sense of balance between two higher powers would be the opposite of justice,” she concluded with a decisive nod.

“Do you have some specific powers in mind or is this purely hypothetical?” Eris wondered, unclear on what these two powers could possibly be.

[Malia]

Oh, she had found the entrance to Eris’ core! Clearly interested, Malia listened to the pulser’s speech. She followed logic and reason and judged society mercilessly. It almost sounded like she had read Malia’s mind. Had she? That would be difficult to determine, and the possibility neared zero, considering their conversation about magic earlier.

So everything Eris said was Eris’ mindset. What did that mean to Malia …?

At the repeated question, she nodded. “Immortal”, she confirmed, to taste the word on her tongue. A sweet temptation for pulsers, it easily turned into a prison once experienced. The conversation was more like an interview now, and Malia was glad that Eris played to her rules. The topic undoubtedly attracted the attention of both women, and had done so in the past. The result also showed that a majority of the assumptions Malia made regarding the mindset of pulsers rang true. Her people reading skills were better than she had thought. Not the slightest rust.

The last statement irritated her a bit. Were they on the same level of understanding? No matter, if Malia interpreted the answer her way, she found that Eris was a lot like herself. Her views were similar. The part about justice requiring emotion sounded interesting, worthy of further investigation. Emotion was no longer a fire burning in Malia’s heart, no; she had willingly reduced it to a blaze, an ever-present background noise. Sometimes it penetrated her ears, but most of the time she was able to keep it at bay.

“What do you mean with: ‘It must involve everyone’? One’s surroundings, loved ones, the entire world?” The way she squeezed love in between sounded unassuming, yet in fact it was the only important thing. What exactly was love?

When Eris ended and demanded to know the motivation behind all those questions, Malia hesitated. Her gaze flickered; eyes with the hardly visible blue circles in them avoided the redhead for a moment. Was it right to tell a pulser? A short-lived human? If it had been Jilitse standing in front of her now, asking questions, the decision would have been easier. This way, Malia had to rely on her assumptions once more.

They had proved to be correct, after all.

She slowly lowered her body to the ground once more, seating herself in the remnants of the charcoal circle. Her flesh was worn and old, and it was evident in the way she moved. Then her gaze locked Eris’. “You are right. It is not purely hypothetical. I wonder, though, if justice means something to you personally. You have answered my questions in theory, but what about reality? Would you strive to keep the balance … with me?”

Their meeting could have gone an entirely different way. A while ago, the thought had come to Malia’s mind and caused her to start questioning Eris’ morals. But she already knew what she had heard. Also, she was almost sure that this one was too valuable to serve as dinner for Undeath. Still, she hadn’t asked the final question for what seemed like eternity.

[Eris]

“I mean that one person – even if he is immortal – cannot make the decision to uphold justice while ignoring the people this justice may affect. It’s like a king trying to hold off a war and deciding that his subjects are not worth listening to. In the end, it is the mortal humans who will die in battle, fighting for a justice they had known nothing about in the first place. On a more mundane level, I suppose it would involve the loved ones of this ‘immortal’ person.” If the person has any loved ones left. She could count on one hand the people she had ever loved or presumed to love. Had she ever loved her mother? Had she loved Joel? She supposed she had loved him as a student might love a teacher, but in the end, she had had no qualms about leaving him. Had she loved Sylvan? They had certainly experienced a passionate relationship, but could she call him a loved one? Had she loved him? Eris found that she could not in good faith talk about hypothetical loved ones if she could not even name her own.

Eris followed Azola’s example, tucking her legs under her as she sat on the ground. She was sitting in the same position she had assumed just yesterday in the Stone Garden. She had been drawing and holding a reluctant conversation with that strange woman – the one who had called herself a reanimated corpse, a Nuit. Eris frowned slightly, remembering the woman in greater detail. As she looked at Azola, the memory of the Nuit and the woman in front of her seemed to overlap. Both were deathly pale; both had dark circles under their eyes. But Azola just felt human in some way; the woman in the Stone Garden had not. Eris only trusted her instincts half of the time, but she decided that she would listen to them in this case.

“Justice does mean something to me. I have witnessed injustice being done at every turn – deaths heaped upon deaths. I have seen people who had thought to impart justice by killing those that deserved to die for their crimes. I had been one of them – maybe I still am. I know what it means to seek revenge – for others and for myself.” Her eyes locked on Azola’s, her gaze steady as she continued, “I have killed and I have had to deal with the emotional consequences of killing. And yet, I still don’t know whether I was right in what I did or not. Perhaps I might be interested in whatever it is you are proposing, but would you really want someone like me by your side on whatever mission of balance it is that you’re on?”

Eris exhaled a slow breath, waiting to see how Azola would react. Eris rarely chose to tell of her way of life, but this seemed like the right time to do so. Azola and this balance she spoke of intrigued her. In many ways, Eris felt that they had a lot in common – too much in common, even. She wondered whether understanding Azola better would help her understand herself. She had wanted to ask Azola to explain what exactly she was asking of her; had wanted to agree to whatever it was the woman was proposing, without even knowing what it was she would be getting herself into. But it wouldn’t be fair to Azola if she did not know the entirety of what Eris was – of what she had done.

[Malia]

Malia tilted her head, not sure whether she should acknowledge Eris’ opinion about involvement of the game’s pawns. It seemed that great rulers and strategists had to deal with that problem, but not a person like her who had nobody standing behind her. Or rather, not yet. Perhaps there was something she could learn from the pulsers. They cared for those they knew. Malia had spent too much time in the empty bubble of eternity, so she decided to memorize that lesson.

In case she ever needed it in the future.

The change in Eris’ behavior went unnoticed. Malia was slim, to the point of looking malnourished even, but maybe it was her demeanor, questions upon questions and that sparkling curiosity in her pitch-black eyes that made her look human. After all, she did put some effort into appearing human so others could trust her more easily. This exemplar would most likely not be surprised or even frightened by the revelation of talking with an undead, but one could never know. Plus, Malia had already mentioned the name of her human disguise to Eris.

Then she sensed that Eris’ words gained weight. Personal information was revealed, almost like numbers counting the deaths on a battlefield or the grains of wheat from a harvest, but Eris knew and Malia felt that what she said was important to the pulser.

So she was searching for a greater sense of mortal existence as well. At least that was what it sounded like to Malia. Eris was someone who, in her short life, had collected debts. Had perhaps killed more people than she could count. Did those lost souls affect her dreams or impart sweet whispers in her mind? Intriguing, that story was. Malia didn’t understand, but at the same time she did a little bit. She, too, had killed to live. Bodies needed to be replaced. First her ‘Master’ had done it for her, but then she had been required to learn, and then she had been on her own.

There were things that didn’t vanish, no matter how much one wished them to. One just had to embrace reality and focus on more important tasks.

Eris, however, seemed to struggle. It was dangerous to work with someone showing emotional instability, indeed. But Malia believed she didn’t have a choice, though. By wasting time with contemplating the meaning of her undead existence, she might have already lost countless opportunities of gaining allies. Eris was one of the few she deemed useful enough and worthy of accompanying her. Looking up to the sky, Malia hoped Tanroa knew what she did by sending that pulser to her.

An assassin. It was like irony, a joke of the Gods up there. She could almost hear the echo of their laughter in her ears.

The shadow of a smile crossed her features and lingered. Spreading her arms generously, Malia exclaimed: “Yes. Yes, I’ve been searching for you! It is obvious that you are the right person. My ‘mission of balance’, as you call it, is simple: Kill someone to save his future victims.” She paused, for the dramatic effect. Euphoria blurred her vision – or was it dizzying relief? “As far as I know, he is a creature of Rhysol. You know the meaning of that fact?” Raising an eyebrow, she leaned back, but didn’t fold her hands.

Instead she held her right one out, a pale, dry claw, but the promise of salvation in the future. “I will be honest: I do not know whether it is right or wrong to kill him, but I know that I personally feel he deserves to be wiped from the face of Mizahar. And if you are willing, we can search for the meaning together. Trace back the line to where everything started.”

Another pause. Malia felt the euphoria of danger – or was it the other way round? – creeping through her weakened body. Hopefully she would be able to keep that pace for another short while.

[Eris]

Eris was surprised by Azola’s change in demeanor. The woman appeared exhilarated to the point of looking almost happyy. Eris could not remember a time when the revelation of her profession had ever caused such a reaction. People looked shocked or disgusted or afraid. Usually they ended up slinking away quietly as if Eris was carrying a deadly disease. True, some people were interested in her choice of work. They viewed her as a potential employee or a potential threat. But never had she seen the information received with such excitement. It made her weary even as it warmed her heart just a little.

Kill someone of save his future victims. It sounded like a mission of revenge, though the motivation was not clear to Eris. Why would this woman be so keen on saving faceless strangers? Was it a sense of honorable duty or something more? Eris did not think she had the right to ask.

“Yes, I know,” Eris solemnly replied. She might not have vested too much interest in the gods or cared for their opinion of her, but she did know of their powers.

Eris’s eyes followed the movement of the woman’s hand and she was momentarily struck by its thinness and lifelessness. So similar to the hand of that Nuit… But no, the Nuit woman had not smiled or looked excited. She not only looked dead, she acted dead as well. Azola did not and therefore, Eris could not see her as belonging to the undead race.

“No one can ever truly know if someone deserves death, but a personal conviction should be enough. And if his destruction would prevent the death of others, that should be enough as well.” She paused, her gaze dropping to her hands. Her right hand lay atop her leg, palm upward with fingers loosely curled. Unbeknownst to her, her index finger had been caressing the scar that ran across her palm. An annoying habit and a telling one to someone who knew her well. Though that in itself was never a problem, seeing as nobody knew Eris well enough to understand the significance of the scar. She stilled the finger’s movement, but did not look up. She needed to think and order the facts in her mind. If only she could weigh the pros and cons in a timely manner and –. Oh, give me a break. When have you ever weighed anything in a timely manner? You’re damn impulsive, girl. Drove me half-crazy with all those spur-of-the-moment decisions you made. Not to mention you nearly took my ear off once. It’s one thing to be cold and calculating in battle, but life’s another matter, now isn’t it?

Eris almost laughed. Was she insane for hearing her mentor’s voice so clearly in her mind? If it was insanity, it sure was useful. Joel had always been able to judge her better than she could judge herself. And life really was another matter. And what has her life consisted of up to now? Death and the search for her father. That was her only meaning. But here was a stranger, offering her a chance to search for a greater one. To carve out a purpose for herself beyond the path she knew so well… And even if that purpose was short-lived, it would still be better than what she was doing now.

She finally looked up, becoming aware of how long the silence had dragged on. “Yes, I’m willing,” she said simply, her eyes locked on Azola’s. For a second, there was grave intensity in her voice and then, she was back to speaking in a casual, business-like manner. “Though I still have to take care of business in Zeltiva before I can do whatever it is we must do. Speaking of which… who exactly is this servant of Rhysol and how do you plan on finding and killing him?”

Now that she was on board with Azola's enterprise, she needed to get all the details. Killing was what she did best and if Azola needed help in killing this man, Eris would need as much information as she could get.