Open Fury

[Nathaniel Deveraux]

Nate shrugged a bit at the woman's words, brown eyes far away. "For me pride is... well, pride is knowing that I did not give in. Knowing I did not give up. Like I said, for my sisters' sake, I can tolerate being a slave. But I will not tolerate being one of them." Nate spat the word out like an invective, storm clouds forming over his brow. "I'm sorry, but I have no terms. If they are satisfied with a slave so be it. But if they push this matter, they can try to make a Drykas from a corpse."

Nate shrugged. His anger ebbed and flowed, like the movement of the tides, sometimes strong, sometimes weak, but always there. There were times when the tide of his fury was so low, he couldn't even see it anymore, and those were the times he allowed himself to interact with other Drykas. But he always fed the fire, kept it alive, so that the tide could roar back at any moment. It was important to keep it alive, but he couldn't say why. There was no logical sense it it, just stubborn pride.

The woman had offered a seat next to her, and Nate shrugged and decided to take her up on the offer, plopping down on the grass and running a tired hand over his face.

"Truth is, so far everyone has been insisting to me that I am not a slave." Nate chuckled humorlessly. "As if I would believe that. You haven't seen slaves, have you? I saw one once."

Nate's eyes grew dark as the memory came forth. "Brands of ownership seared into his flesh, the scars of torture all over his chest and back, one eye glassy from when the instruments 'missed', an arm all-but-useless because they'd broken it as punishment."

Nate shook his head. "That man... he'd escaped from Sunberth. But he was still a slave. They'd already broken him, you see. In his mind, he'd always be trapped in his cage. And who's to say they don't do that here?"

But even despite his words, a part of Nate was already arguing against it. Had they ever given any indication that was to be his fate? And the simple, inescapable fact was, if that was their goal all along, they could have done so at the very beginning. They did not need to wait an entire season before starting. And so his words were unsure, despite himself, as though he was saying them more to convince himself than to convince Taylani. Like he wanted to believe it was true, so that he'd have something to be angry about. A reason to hate them.

When the woman mentioned Syliras, Nate just shrugged. "I don't really have much left back there, to be honest," he admitted. "Really the only family I have now is my sisters, and they're here. Like I said, it might just be nothing more than my pride that keeps me angry, keeps me resentful. But pride can be a powerful thing. And as I say, it is the one thing they cannot take from me."

On the mention of the Opal tents, Nate shrugged. "I tried that, but they turned me away. Truthfully, I can't blame them for their distrust, considering the feeling is quite mutual. As for Arundel..."

Nate shrugged. The woman genuinely confused him sometimes. He was not sure what she thought of him, though he was quite certain that she resented the situation just as much as he did. Surely she did? He thought for a few moments and realized he wasn't certain. It was an odd feeling for Nate, who frankly hadn't given much thought to the idea before.

"I have no idea what she would say," he replied honestly. "Then again... apparently, as I said, I was given to her to replace another who'd run off. So I wasn't her choice either. If anything, I have to imagine she's got to be even more resentful than me. I mean, she's Drykas, after all, and she's still got no choice. I wonder if any of the women among these people have choices."

[Taylani]

She smiled at his words, an almost rueful smile because she had uttered the same ones over and over again. Perhaps he will have better luck holding true to them then she did, sometimes she feels that she was broken but in other times she feels that she won the victory because she broke more for the child then for Fallan. Her feelings for him were still far too confusing for her to even think about let alone sort out.

"No I have never seen a slave. I had heard horror stories though, mostly whispered between my friends and I whenever we talked about what we thought were strange lands." She doesn't look back toward him, instead she looks out into the tents of the city, letting her blue gaze fall upon all the myriad of colors and items there in. "I certainly never thought I would be living in one of those. There are many different kinds of slaves, I think. Fallan..and several others...keep telling me everyone is a slave to something to something. Slaves to culture, slaves to tradition....and even slaves to their emotions." This last is said as she turned back to regard him quietly for a moment, surprising herself that she was almost making the Drykas points for them.

"Their methods are evil and wrong. However the longer I have been here the longer I realized that no, the Drykas people do not have much choice in the matter either. Male or female." Her words were slow, as if she was trying to think of what she was saying at the same time as she was saying it. "Even Drykas women are expected to bear children as soon as possible. The men who were unmarried during the....the sale... were told they had to buy a captive as long as there were females available for perhaps marrying if they wanted...otherwise for children."

She turns now to face him fully, her legs pulling up easily and smoothly and for a moment she realized that in just a few months she was going to lose that ability to move so easily. Her pregnancy kept slapping her in the face at odd times, like something she kept tripping over because she forgot to put it away. When she still practiced her dance she would stumble of the fact that she wouldn't be able to do that position soon because she's pregnant. Getting dressed now involved a thought of when she would have to see Rue the seamstress because, She's pregnant. It was not a fact that she has quite accepted as easily as it might seem to others.

"The ends do not justify the means. They had no right to literally club me on the head and drag me away, or ...or however you were taken. No right at all. They have marginally more right to make their own people breed like rabbits because apparently these ankals," The last word is said in Pavi with a gesture because she doesn't really know "Are their ruling party I think so what they say goes. However...what is done is done. We can't go back and change it. So we must do the best that we can."

[Nathaniel Deveraux]

Her points were valid, of course. Not that he hadn't thought the same things himself, but the issue was choice. Hadn't he made this choice? For his sisters, for family? He could have resisted, after all, regardless of the lethal consequences of such a decision.

"Actually, I wasn't taken at all. Not in the way you're probably thinking," he explained. "Truthfully, if I'd wanted to, I could have remained in Syliras." But he hadn't. There really wasn't any choice at all. Not for him.

"They took my sisters first. Lea and Kat." The memory alone caused muscles to spasm in Nate's neck. How they'd used his sisters as hostages to enforce his cooperation. "Then they gave me my choices. They actually offered to let me stay in Syliras. Apparently male captives were not as valuable as females. But of course, they'd take my sisters and I would likely never see them again."

It was not an option. Not for Nate, who'd taken care of them for eight years, ever since their parents died. No, he would never abandon them like that.

"The other choice was to drop my weapons and go with my sisters. Obviously, the unspoken third option was to fight, and likely die."

Nate shrugged. "Everything changed when they took Lea and Kat. I seriously doubt they would've taken me at all if I'd been alone. And even if they had, I'd have had no problems fighting, and dying, rather than being taken."

Would he have? Nate wondered it even as he spoke. Perhaps. Maybe. He wasn't even sure, and for some reason that rankled him most of all. Because he knew that had they taken him alone, his first thoughts would always be to escape back to Syliras, to care for his sisters. Certainly, escape had a low chance of success, but if he died he'd have no chance of success. Fate, it seemed, had a sense of humor. As the woman spoke of methods and whether it was wrong or right, Nate shrugged and sighed.

"I actually understand better than most what they're going through," he admitted. "As a field medic you see a lot of injury and death. It... comes with the job. Desperation can make people do things they never thought they'd do."

Looking down at his bruised knuckles, he realized he might have just described himself. Bashing a fist against wood was not a productive use of one's time, and would consume precious resources to repair damage that did not need to occur to begin with. But he'd been desperate for some sort of release for his rage and frustration. Because it seemed no matter which way he turned, there were just barriers that hemmed him in.

"No, we can't change what has happened. But that does not mean that the past should be forgotten." Nate shook the fingers of his hand a few times, trying to see if there was any soreness or stiffness of the joints. But he did not feel any, so he returned to the conversation. "I suppose the only question for me now, is how far am I prepared to go..."

The arms of Dira sounded nice, to be honest. It was just so very tempting. Clearly, Kat no longer needed him, she seemed happy here. And Lea... he hadn't spoken to Lea in several days. Neither of his sisters seemed upset about being in this place, and it frankly upset him more than he'd care to admit. He wasn't needed anymore. Obsolete.

"I never did get your name, by the way," he noted with a wry smile. The arc of these thoughts were going in a very dangerous direction, and he wasn't sure he wanted to continue thinking about it. If he did, he might very well act upon it. And the most frightening part of it was, it didn't even bother him all that much.

[Taylani]

Taylani nods in responses to most of his words. She could agree with most, but each must find their own peace. Sadly this man might just find peace in death, but that was his choice. She had said what she could, even though it did shame her to know that she could even somewhat defend the Drykas' actions. She was not as broken as she let on, mostly because she actually wanted to be rid of the conflict in her mind and soul. For her, knowing that they can track her every move, knowing that her child would have only Drykas influence if she took Fallan's bargain of two children in exchange for a safe trip back to Syliras. Knowing these facts kept her here as surely as chains, and she did not want to live the rest of her life with the twisting anger and hatred. So she had made a choice, and yes it was a choice if not the ones she would have wanted, to accept. She might never be happy, but she could be content, even if sometimes darker thoughts still permeated her thinking.

"I don't know anything first hand, but I do have ideas just by looking at the captives that they brought in. Looking at the men who eagerly accepted this, and then looking at the treatment of most of the captives. They choose women because women are less likely to fight too long. Women are more vulnerable, because once they have a babe in their belly they...we...tend to think more for the babe then for ourselves."

Shrugging, she fell silent for a moment, lowering her head gently to let the flush settle from her face. It was not just the child that also kept women here, she knew this all too well. Many captives have joined willingly to their owners, for various reasons but mostly because their buyers treated them well and they found that they could learn to be happy.

"Men might not have that connection to the child as easily. Not saying that men never get connected but the connection might be more tenuous due to...the circumstance of conception."

She looked back at him in surprise though, she thought she had introduced herself and realized that she had forgotten to. "Ah forgive me, it seems my manners have escaped me. I am called Tay." Again she had slipped and used Fallan's name for her, so she hurried to correct herself, "Taylani. I am called Taylani. You were a field medic? It seems to me a waste to not let you work in the healing tents."

[Nathaniel Deveraux]

Nate felt... better, having gotten it all out to someone who understood. It still didn't slay the beast stalking its cage in his heart but it calmed it somewhat, even more than his fist slamming into the tree did. Did it mean he could now "accept" being a slave to the Drykas? Likely not. But it gave him a measure of understanding of himself. And he knew what he needed to do. The only question was when to do it. And how to do it.

Already his mind filtered through knowledge gained through years of being a hunter and medic. From medicine, he knew much about the human body. And from hunting he knew where to... cut, to kill the quickest. And he understood the basics of herbalism. He knew a few herbs that were quite dangerous, and most fungi were poisonous so if he just ate a wild mushroom chances were he'd die.

But no. He wanted control, for the first time. If he was to do this it would be on his terms. Finally, after so many days of helplessness, he'd be in control again. And then the warm embrace of Dira would take him back home. Wherever that was.

"I suppose that's true, though I'll admit to not really knowing much about women, so..." Nate ended his statement with a helpless shrug. It was true. Besides his sisters he rarely interacted with women back in Syliras. In fact, he rarely interacted with anyone. It was a legitimate question to ask. Would anyone even know they were gone?

"Considering that these Drykas apparently have no problems with men taking multiple wives, it makes me wonder why they bother taking men at all," Nate groused. "This 'Arundel' could just as easily become someone's second or third wife. How would that be any worse than the situation as it is now?"

Nate knew, of course, that being the second or third wife was never quite the same as being the first. But why was Arundel not just as upset about this arrangement? As they were not married, it would mean she would be giving birth to a child out of wedlock... why would the Drykas permit such a thing to befall one of their own? The female captives he could understand but this just puzzled him greatly. Why was she not fighting it just as hard as him, if not harder?

In the end it didn't matter, he supposed. At least he'd gotten the woman's name. She seemed... embarrassed to have slipped and called herself "Tay". Interesting, perhaps it was similar with himself and "Nathaniel"? Nate knew that he did not like being called "Nathaniel", much preferring "Nathan" or "Nate".

"Well, I can understand their hesitation," he admitted. "I was a medic, not a doctor, and I've actually not really gotten all that far even with doctors in Syliras." Nate shrugged. "I suppose, with the language barrier, and with the fact that they probably don't trust me, combined with the fact that as a medic, most of my medical expertise is in stabilization rather than actually fixing, and I can see why they wouldn't want me."

Nate sighed at that. It was the same in Syliras, really. He was far more useful in the field than in the hospital. Because what works in the field didn't always translate to hospital medicine. Though, his few experiences with the Opal tents told him that the Drykas healers were far more "field experienced" than most. Still, an element of mutual distrust was there, and distrust did not make for good medicine.

"I'm also a passable hunter, but they don't let me do that, either," Nate explained. "Though, I'm not sure if they won't let me hunt, period, or just not alone. I guess I did sort of get lost the last time I tried hunting alone." Nate shrugged. He only got a little lost... oh alright he got quite lost. The Sea was not an environment that he was comfortable with yet, and until he was, he supposed it was wise to prevent him from just wandering out there without some sort of guide.

"In any event, it's a pleasure to meet you, Taylani. So, what did you do back in Syliras?"

[Taylani]

Taylani felt the other man's pain, and his anguish, it hurt her more simply because she couldn't do more. Nothing she was going to be able to say to him would sway him one way or the other, and it would be his decision. "I suppose, but I would assume that they would let you ..I don't know roll bandages, clean bandages while teaching you. I mean if you have some aptitude for healing."

Her fingers lace together, and settled into her lap, as she listened. He seemed to be at least somewhat useful, in time if he allowed it he might actually be able to become a productive captive if not Drykas. In that regard he had a leg up on her, she was forced here without an ounce of skill that might help her survive. She grinned at his words of getting kind of lost. "The grasses are a vast place, if I didn't know I would assume that everyone who wanders them got lost." But she did know, she knew that while she can't see it, she and Nate were both tied to this area.

When he asked what she did in Syliras she closed her eyes against the wave of melancholy. Fallan wanted to name their child after her mother, perhaps thinking to assuage some of her homesickness or perhaps to curry favor in her eyes. But just like she told Fallan, she could not think about anything of her old life, and not remain passably content. No thoughts of what she put behind her simply stirred the resentment that she fought to keep at bay. But she does smile and answer Nate, though her eyes never opened.

"I was a dancer. Not in a tavern .." She added the last quickly as it seemed people were always assuming that, though now that she has been out of her protective bubble in Syliras she was beginning to understand just how silly it was to hang her life dreams on that. "I danced in the theater, and I had hoped to visit Riverfall to dance in their Amphitheater. I sang a little too, but it was Dance that I was most enamored with. Not very practical of me it turns out."

She finally opened her eyes once more, looking back towards him not bothering to hide the moisture that clung to her dark lashes but didn't fall. "Now I am trying to remember some of the basics that my mother taught me in jewel crafting. That is what she did ..does..in Syliras. That and learning how to cook out here, and how to clean things. It is so ...odd not having a stable home, moving every day... It is an adjustment and there is a lot to learn."