Closed Seed of Worry (Waisana)

[Seirei Dawnwhisper]

Seirei didn't want to think of suffering through the pain of another exam, but it did give her something to think about. That, in turn, allowed her to pull herself together enough to listen...really listen to what Waisana was telling her. It wasn't certain that she was pregnant...but it wasn't certain that she was not, either. The uncertainty of not knowing one way or another would be nearly unbearable. And yet, even that was better than knowing for certain that her captor had forced her own body to betray her. Seirei had very little left. Her family was gone. Her mother was dead, and her older brother had betrayed her. Jared had allowed the other members of their caravan to abandon her in the Sea of Grass to die. Maybe he had even taken a willing part in doing so. Her extended family, the other members of the caravan had betrayed her too. They decided she was the source of the bad luck that plagued them just because she was different...because her father was a Drykas. And so they abandoned her. Her father...Seirei didn't know what had become of him. Or even if he was still alive. And she had no way of contacting him. So he was lost to her as well. That left her without family. Waisana was quickly becoming a friend, and Seirei valued their growing friendship greatly. But it wasn't the same as having friends she had known for years. Friends she had grown up with, and whose relationships she was comfortable with. That, too, had been lost when she was abandoned. *He* hadn't yet touched the belongings that had been left to her. Nor had he found the money that she had hidden among her belongings. But Seirei was painfully aware that her captor could do so at any time. *He* had no problem whatsoever violating her on a daily basis. If he decided that he wanted anything that she owned, Seirei knew that he would simply take it. And if he did, she would have no recourse left to her. No way to keep him from taking anything he wanted. So in some ways, her body...her self...was all she had left. If Lian managed to take that from her too...Seirei wasn't sure what she would do. When he raped her, he had taken something from her that should have been given freely in an act of love. Something she would never get back. He continued to force himself on her whenever he felt like it. Seirei didn't have the strength to stop him, and she knew it. Still, even with that, her body was still her own. But if his seed took root in her, and he succeeded in getting her pregnant...if he forced her own body to betray her...then even that would be gone. What would she have left then? "After the 10th? Okay. I can do that." Focusing on the task at hand gave Seirei something she could deal with. The thought of being pregnant, and all that it meant was too overwhelming for Seirei to cope with right now. If she thought about it for too long, she would lose all hope. But it wasn't sure that she was pregnant. And that meant that she might not be. The first "task" was to find out if she was pregnant or not. That she could handle. It meant going through another exam, but that was okay. Until it actually happened, Seirei could focus on that, and preparing herself to get through it. That would allow her to avoid dealing with what the results of the exam could mean for a while longer. Maybe by the time she had to deal with it, she would be strong enough to cope with whatever she had to. Maybe. When Waisana handed Seirei her clothes, she took them gratefully, and dressed quickly. Seirei nodded at Waisana's instructions about eating well, and getting air. She promised that she would take she advice, and she had every intention of doing just that. It was for her own good, after all. And even beter, it would give Seirei more things to focus on. More "tasks" to complete so that she didn't have to think about the future just yet. Waisana's next words gave Seirei something more to think about. Seirei looked up at her with wide, startled eyes. "My...child...? Not his?" she asked softly, her voice little more than a whisper. It was a thought that had never once occurred to her. But it was one that held some merit in it. Seirei had always wanted children...someday. When she had found a man she could fall in love with, and build a life together with. They would raise their children together happily, surrounded by the warmth and love of the caravan that had been the only home she had ever known or wanted. It had been a dream of Seirei's for as long as she could remember. Most of that dream was no longer possible. She had no home now that her caravan had betrayed her. And Seirei couldn't imagine ever trusting any man enough to allow herself to fall in love with him after being forced to endure Lian's attentions. But children...that part of her dream was still possible. Inevitable, even, if Seirei allowed herself to admit it to herself. Seirei knew that even if she wasn't pregnant now, there was a good chance that Lian would succeed in getting her pregnant in the future. She did have a tentative plan to escape captivity...but that would take time. Months. Years, maybe. Seirei had a lot of things she needed to learn before she had any chance of surviving in the Sea of Grass long enough to find safety in another city. Or even finding another city rather than getting herself hopelessly lost. She also had to earn a lot of money. Enough to pay for passage with a caravan, and the supplies she'd need, as well as a nest egg to support her until she could find work wherever she ended up. All of that would take time. Time during which Lian would be forcing himself on her daily, doing his best to breed her like an animal. Unless she was unable to have children, it seemed likely that Lian would succeed in his attempts before she managed to escape. Possibly more than once, even. That would only lengthen the amount of time she was trapped in captivity. If she had a child to support, she would need to earn even more money before attempting her escape. Money she would need to support that child, and pay someone to care for it while she was looking for work, or working. The idea of leaving any children Lian forced her to bear here with him wasn't something she was willing to consider. She didn't want to think about any son of hers learning that it was okay to rape women whenever he felt like it. Or worse, she didn't even want to think about what might happen to a daughter she left behind. So children were a very real possibility. And that left Seirei feeling lost, and hopelessly overwhelmed. The thought of her captor's seed taking root in her, and growing in her against her will sickened her. It left her shaking, and feeling weak and cold with dread. How could she ever love something *he* had forced into her? Even if it wasn't the child's fault that its father had forced himself on her, could she really be strong enough to love something of *his?* But if the child was hers, too. If the child was hers more than his...could she not love it? Could a child truly be hers when it was forced on her against her will? Seirei didn't know. But it did give her something to think about. More than that, if it were true, it gave her hope when she had none. Seirei took the comfort offered in Waisana's warm hands as they held hers. When she felt strong enough, she wiped away her tears, and smiled weakly. "Thank you, Waisana. I hope I'm not pregnant. I really do. I...don't know what I'll do if he succeeds in breeding me like some kind of animal. I really don't. But if I am pregnant, and the child really is mine, not his...maybe it won't be as bad as I fear it will. You've given me a lot to think about." Seirei promised that she would come to see Waisana for another exam again. Then she took her leave.

[Khida]

Seirei

Skill	Points
Endurance	+3
Medicine	+1
Play Musical Instrument: Flute	+1

• The fear and the hope of a child
• Medicine: early signs of pregnancy
• Waisana: a valued friend

I didn't find a lot I could give you here, because Seirei was mostly reflecting and/or answering questions. I did throw in a point of Medicine for learning about pregnancy.

Waisana

Skill	Points
Interrogation	+1
Medicine	+2
Observation	+2
Persuasion	+1
Planning	+1
Rhetoric	+1

• Medicine: early signs of pregnancy
• Medicine: tactile vs. visual examination
• Planning: accounting for potential distractions
• Relaren: attractive but intimidating

Notes

Great thread, guys. I especially liked reading Waisana's horrified reactions -- not least because I shared them. I look forward to seeing how this plot progresses!

As always, please let me know if you have any questions or concerns regarding your grade. Also, Seirei, please edit your request to show this thread has been graded.