Flashback Don't Look At Me

[Iblette]

43rd of Winter, 490 AV

Iblette waited patiently, her twenty-five year old self sitting atop a fallen tree trunk. Her little legs dangled above the ground, and she swung them in anticipation. They would be back any hour, now! She couldn't wait to hear the stories her mother would tell her. Oh, how the little Kontinese children would flock to her mother to hear what she had to say! And how her mother would so willingly tell her stories!

Iblette picked up her violin. She was getting better, but she was still a little rusty. She loved hearing the praise her mother had to give her over her unexpected gift. She never searched for that satisfaction, but it always gave her some when she heard it. She put the bow to the strings, and began to play gentle, happy notes. She closed her eyes as she listened to the harmony of the notes blend together. After she opened her eyes, she saw the outline of the ship, and gasped in excitement. Jumping down from the tree's trunk, she ran off, her thin legs carrying her as fast as they could to the dock.

Her eyes grew wider and wider the closer she got to the port. Maybe she'd beat the ship this time! When she reached the docks, she was able to see more than an outline of the ship, and her eyes stopped shining when she sensed something. The ship looked different, and as more details were revealed, her glee quickly changed to fear. The sails of the ship were torn, charred, and some masts on the quarter deck were bashed, if not partially broken. Iblette could make out faint splatters of blood, and as she began to notice, the people awaiting the ship began to shout out as well. The people on the dock's shore began scrambling about, seeing to the ship's safe arrival.

Upon the ship's anchorage, they retrieved what unspoiled goods they could. Iblette frantically climbed the stairs to the loading dock, and pushed past Kontinese traders who where trying to hold her back.

"Where's my mother?" Iblette called, looking about her and her eyes tearing up, "Where's mother!" the more she called, the more frantic she became. Faces were blurs now, and nothing registered properly in her brain. When she finally came to the edge of the ship, she stopped. Her pounding heart was in her ears, and her tears began to flow. Covered in bloody cloth and lying on a wooden stretcher, was her mother. Her beautiful, unflawed face was covered in blood, with scars and cuts running all about it. The darkest pool of blood collected at her stomach's location.

Once she fully understood what was going on, she let out a blood-curdling scream of agony. Her mother, and her only known blood-relative, was dead. Her Gift of Semblance was off the charts, as everyone around her felt the same grief she was just now experiencing. She ran over to her mother, kneeling down next to her, shaking her frantically. "Wake up!" she repeated, "Mother, wake up!" but nothing she did stirred any reply. She wailed and mourned intensely after her attempts, and some could not bear to watch her, and in turn left the ship's deck, leaving Iblette and her mother alone for one last time.

[Iblette]

44th of Winter, 490 AV

Iblette's blank gaze stared off into the open seas of the Konti Isle. Her mother, dead. It was the only thing that was prominent in her brain, the only thing that mattered. Her tear-stained face had dried, but more were to come. What had her mother done to deserve such things? Did Rak'Keli cry for her loss? Why did it seem that the world did not care about such evil events?

A Konti walked up behind Iblette, and as she reached her, put a hand on her shoulder. Iblette jumped when she felt the hand, but when she saw who it was, she turned back and huffed angrily. Curse her skiddish nature! It was only her aunt. Why was she so startled? As she calmed down, she allowed her aunt to sit next to her on the same tree trunk that was sat upon that morning.

U'Naus watched her niece for a couple moments before staring off at the sea herself. What could she say to assuage her? Would saying anything even prove helpful? The only thing she felt she could do was state the obvious.

"We are all grieving with you," she began slowly. Iblette stared on as she continued quietly, "She was of great loss to us as well. You are not alone here."

"I know." Iblette managed. Why did they bring her up? She didn't need to hear it, she already knew, she already felt it! Why wouldn't they let it go? U'Naus continued.

"I have made some changes in my home for you. I told my girls of what has passed, and they have made their own adjustments for you." She explained reassuringly, "They all wish to be there for you, as well. Especially Fenna." Fenna, the youngest of U'Naus' four daughters, loved Iblette with every fiber of her being. Fenna seemed to be the only one who's gift correlated with hers, and they therefore grew attached very quickly, "Fenna even demanded that you sleep next to her." U'Naus giggled, "She is so caring towards you. I only wish that your mother and I shared such a bond."

Iblette nodded slowly, trying to take in what she said. Nothing registered, however, except when she heard, "I only wish that your mother and I shared such a bond." At hearing this, Iblette arose, grabbed her violin, and started back to the residencies. U'Naus was shocked at her reaction, and immediately followed after her, attempting to catch up.

"Ibby, what is it? Please tell me, I wish not to anger you!" and Iblette replied:

"I do not wish to hear about her anymore. I feel that everyone is sorry, I feel that their grief is true. The last thing I need is to hear what I already feel." U'Naus, after hearing this, remembered that Iblette was graced with the Touch of Semblance, and therefore responded to appease her wishes.

"I see. Very well. I only wish to let you know that your things have been moved to our quarters. Before you enter, however, I will go in before you and tell my daughters, so they do not bombard you with what you do not wish to hear." Iblette edged a smile to thank her, and they walked back to civilization together, U'Naus reassuringly rubbing Iblette's shoulder.

[Iblette]

Evening of the 44th Winter, 490 AV

When they had reached U'Naus' house, she stopped Iblette before she could enter, and went inside herself. After a few moments, U'Naus opened the door, letting Iblette join them. As soon as Iblette stepped through the door, she was attacked by Fenna, who's tiny hugs always grappled around her waist.

"Ibby!" she shouted, her rosy pale complexion beaming, "Ibby! Welcome! Come with me, come with me!" and no sooner did Fenna release her than she grabbed her arm, dragging Iblette to her room.

Once they entered Fenna's room, Fenna jumped onto her bed, which was large enough for two. As she jovially laughed, she proudly explained, "I kicked Ca'Ini out myself! Aren't you proud of me?" she turned over onto all fours, waiting for Iblette to clamber onto the bed with her. Iblette laughed; this is what she loved about her dearest cousin! So upbeat and rowdy. She was nothing like her relatives or her quiet elders. She loved her so, for she reminded her of her-.

'No,' she looked down quickly to hide her face, 'Not here! Not now! Avalis, please, remove these thoughts!' and after that quick request, it seemed that they were almost answered immediately. Once she had felt better, she put down her violin and jumped onto the bed. Fenna squealed with delight as they began to play. Iblette tackled, snuggled and tickled her, and every happy, high-pitched laugh made Iblette's grin grow wider and wider, until she was laughing herself. After a decent amount of rough play, they sprawled out on the bed, the sheets completely twisted and messy, and hair disheveled. Breathing hard to slow down, Fenna turned on her side, clinging to Iblette, who did the same.

"I hope you can be happy here." Fenna whispered quietly, knowing she wasn't supposed to speak of these things. All Iblette could do was smile down at her, knowing she meant well.


At the table that evening, U'Naus, her four daughters, and Iblette all sat down, prepared to eat. Iblette could already tell she was going to consume the biggest quantity of food, given that she was quite exhausted. Once the food was set, they began to eat, and Iblette wanted to make sure that Ca'Ini was taken care of.

"So, 'Ini," Iblette began, "Since I'm going to be sleeping with Fenna, where will you be?"

"Oh, I'm sleeping with Gurrer. M'Sul is going to sleep with mother, right?" she looked to the eldest sister.

"Yes... Yes I am," M'Sul replied, obviously showing that she was not in favor of recent events.

"Come now," Gurrer addressed her tone, "What is with you?"

"What is with me?" M'Sul asked, and her mother gestured to stop her, but she paid no attention, "What bothers me is that we are the ones who have to take care of her now. She has another aunt with no children. Why doesn't she go live with her?"

"Because it's hard enough that she has not been able to provide for herself. She is living off the kindness of the community, and even though she would've taken Iblette in a heartbeat, she knew she couldn't." U'Naus interjected. Iblette could already tell that this was going to turn into an argument, but before she could excuse herself, it began.

"Well, I'm sorry, but we've fallen on hard times as well, mother. We're barely surviving ourselves, and you expect us to take in someone else?"

"I will not let you speak about such things in this household. You know she has no one else!"

"We shouldn't be paying the price for this!"

"You think this is punishment! Shame on you, young lady!"

"Well, maybe if her mother hadn't died, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"STOOOOOOOOOOOPPP!!!" Iblette screamed. Her ears were covered by her hands, and hot tears were streaming down her face. Her thin eyebrows were sharply angled upwards, pinching against each other furiously. Her sobbing had intensified as the argument grew louder, and when it finally ceased, she was the only one making noise at the table. After a moment, she got up, swiftly walking to Fenna's room and shutting the door.

[Iblette]

Night of the 44th of Winter, 490 AV

She was curled up in Fenna's covers, crying and sobbing. Her wailing didn't seem to cease. All this anger and death and sadness. She hated it! She wanted no part in it! But what could she do? Fate had taken it's course, and she had to live with the circumstances. She smashed her fist in anger on the bed, wishing to cease crying, loathing, hating, and being. She wanted to slink off under a rock and die. She didn't want to cause herself or anyone else any more pain. She was finished and wanted to die.

Fenna slowly opened the door as Iblette's intense sobbing began to die down. She walked over to her quietly, bending to level her face with Iblette's as she walked towards her.

"Ibby...?" she began, and Iblette lifted her head, "Ibby... Are you alright?"

She took a moment before answering, "No, Fen. I'm not alright."

"Do you wanna talk about it now?" Fenna climbed up on her bed, sitting next to her. Iblette removed her upper half from the covers to move over. Her face was stained with hot tears, and trails showed on her lashes and her cheeks. Fenna tried to remove the stains from her face sympathetically, but she couldn't, and it began to irritate her. She wanted her to feel better, to not feel this way. But what could she do? What could she say? Iblette removed Fenna's hand so she would cease.

"... I..." Iblette stopped, "I don't know..." she ended quietly. After some silence, she began again, "I wish I could make everyone happy... I don't want to be a burden, but I obviously am..."

"To M'Sul, maybe." Fenna admitted, "But not to me! I'll love you forever!" and she wrapped her tiny arms around Iblette, snuggling her face into her side. Iblette could do nothing but stare in appreciation, running her hands through her hair. What a sweet child of the peaceful mind. That was her gift, after all, calming down the intense emotions of others. Iblette was very thankful for that gift, for her emotions often ran high, and whenever Fenna was about, she could act and respond more easily. This probably explained their easy compatibility.

Not long after, U'Naus quietly opened the door to Fenna's room to check on them, and they were sound asleep from pure exhaustion. U'Naus edged a smile before closing the door and quietly returning to bed.

[Iblette]

39th of Spring, 491 AV

Iblette held her violin as she strode to the docks of Konti Isle. She had made her final decision, and even though her relatives and loved ones pleaded with her, she went along with it anyhow. She was done, she was sick of her home. Nothing but the same, drawn, saddened stares followed her being wherever she went. She had to leave it behind, or else it would drag her down.

She climbed the wooden stairs to meet with A'Lattu, the Konti who took over Iblette's mother's ship upon her death. In all actuality, it belonged to Iblette, but she did not want it, as she had no use for it. She therefore renewed it's services to a trader she trusted, and that was her mother's closest friend.

"Hello, Ibby. How are you feeling?" the tall, spindly Konti asked.

"I'm doing well, thank you. And yourself?"

"All is well with me. How can I help you?"

"I would like to take the closest trip out of the Isle. Where will your next endeavor go?" Iblette asked this question with all seriousness, and A'Lattu knew that there was no point in pretending tease. She could easily tell that the stares of sorrow were weighing down on her, and she couldn't stand it anymore. What a loved person her mother was, to leave such an emotional burden. A'Lattu gave it some thought before responding.

"The ship leaves tomorrow. You could board then."

"When should I arrive?"

"No later than tomorrow's day. We will leave when the sun reveals a fourth of itself."

"Very well," Iblette paused, "I'll see you then. Thank you very much." and she turned on heel to leave. Before she had fully left the dock, A'Lattu called to her.

"Iblette!" and she turned to address her, "Are you sure this is something you wish to do?"

"I've already asked myself this question many times. I am sure. I'll be here tomorrow morning."

"Very well..." and A'Lattu watched her friend's daughter slowly walk back to the community.

Iblette paused to look at the fallen tree trunk that she sat on all those days ago. How the cold winter did not seem to penetrate her spirit as she awaited her mother's arrival. She found solace in that trunk, a sort of security that she no longer had in actual people.

It was odd to her, how something that was inanimate had been given more faith than something moving. Maybe it was its lack of speech, or the fact that it listened quietly to all the thoughts and ideas that spilled from the brain, soaking them in and savoring them individually. Or maybe it's role in her life played a bigger part than she originally anticipated, and made the log seem like an old and understanding friend.

She clambered back onto the trunk once more, and began to tune her strings. One last song, she felt, would do some good, and give the trunk something to remember her by. Once they were finely tuned, she put the bow to the twine and began to play. The low, long chords strained to remove themselves from the strings as she played. Her eyes were low, closing often to allow her newfound anticipation to be released.

What a choice to make for her! How she had decided for herself to move on! What a feat for her kind! That she would not have to bear the weight of sadness any longer! The memories would still be there, but they would be hardened, emotionless, just how she wished them to be, and nothing more.