[Note by Factorum] Jasper Whitewriter

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Jasper Whitewriter

Postby Jasper Whitewriter on April 16th, 2016, 11:16 pm

Jasper Whitewriter


Appearance

Race: Human
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Blue
Height:5 Foot 1 Inches
Weight:115pounds
Birthday: 43rd Day of Spring 493AV
Birthplace: Zeltiva

Appearance: Jasper’s Wavy blonde hair curled down to his shoulders. He has a bright blue eye with a golden ring around the pupil. He has no eye in his left socket as it was removed shortly after his incident. He is slender with Strong muscle tone and stands at five foot one.

Character Concept

The wind hit his cloak making it sweep wildly around him. He looked at the city around him calmly, listening to the people pass by. His memento from his teacher ran cold around his tanned neck. He knew he finally made it but he was sad that his teacher left him here alone. After 3 years of training he finally learned the basics of djed manipulation and could use his Djed around him protecting him from normal attacks through shielding. Jasper’s one blue eye allowed him to see the world clearly. His blind eye showed him the darkness of the world if he focused his auristics. He sees that darkness and finds the light it hides underneath. Thanks to being a mute for four years now he finds himself humbled before others who can talk freely. Although he is humbled, that doesn’t mean he is discouraged. In fact he finds his strength not through speaking but through script. Reading and writing in the common language is his favorite, though he’s not very good yet. Jasper was still weak and always looking for knowledge, finding himself meditating like the older man taught him. Every time he felt more and more confident, yet humbled at the monstrosity and overwhelmingness of the world around him. His confidence gave him the power to fight, but his humbled mind was always looking to learn.

Character History

Held down by my father while I was 16, my mother slashed my face open across the left eye. Staring outward in a dazed fear I watched as the door was kicked open and a man in a black cotton sweater and loose fitting khaki pants slipped a knife from his sleeve and threw it. My mother collapsed in a pile of blood and dropped the blade that cut me on the floor. As I sat there, my father was unable to retaliate with me on top of his lap. The man picked me up, chucking me into a wall, and pulled another dagger from his thigh, stabbing my father in the jugular. As I watched both of my parents drowning in their own blood, I tried talking to the man, realizing I could no longer speak. “Follow me if you want answers.” The man said, while walking out the door.

A year later, me and the man who saved me were wandering through the ruins of Lisnar. “Behind those blue eyes lies a tainted soul,which we must cleanse.” he said to me. “...” I looked at the man, studying him. Overgrown, jet-black hair hung down his shoulders, matching his eyes. He was well groomed, with a sharp goatee, and a hardened face. “What are you looking at, Jasper.” He said to me sternly. That was my name. Jasper. Jasper Whitewriter. The name he gave me. The man grabbed my shoulders and looked into my eyes. “This is serious! Don’t you get it? We need to get you to Lhavit.” We turned a corner and he produced a key, using it to open a door on the side of a house. Walking inside there was nothing around but two cushions on the floor. I swept the mangy blonde hair out of my eyes and thought to myself, ‘I don’t really see a point to this...’ The older man laughed and said “you can hear yourself speak but others Can’t, Without proper training you won’t listen to what your mind and body are saying to each other. In everything and everyone there is Djed, and for you to use it you must learn control.” We both sat down on one of the mats and settled ourselves into position. After closing my eyes I brought my attention to my feet, letting my breaths go in, inflating my stomach, then out, allowing it to collapse again. With each breath i brought my attention to my coccix, then my stomach, then my sternum, then reaching my heart, my throat my forehead and the crown. Feeling the energy build up I kept breathing in and out, imagining a barrier forming across my skin. I imagined a wall made out of water, willing confusion into every drop. As I did this I began to notice an actual barrier forming around me. ‘Do you want to escape?’ I heard the thought form in in my head. ‘Water causes illusions and allows you to see things unseen. Is this the path you choose to follow?’ The voice said again. As it spoke i felt myself drowning, I opened my eyes but saw nothing.

When my vision came back I was lying in a makeshift hay bed in a small pasture. I felt something against my neck, and pulled it out to reveal a silver chain with two index finger bones attached to it. “Those were your mother and father's” Said the man who had killed them. “They both dabbled in magic. I believe that necklace will remind you who you were and who you are.” I looked up at the man before me. Thinking about what he said I finally asked, stuttering, “Where… are… we…?” He looked at me with wide eyes, “You can speak again? Ahhh… the curse has been lifted, If only slightly. Now that you have seen nothing and spoke nothing you may begin to see more and speak soberly.” As he finished speaking, he got up and left the shed. I fell back into the hay bed and passed out.

Language

Fluent Language:Common
Basic Language:
Poor Language:
Skills

Skill EXP Total Proficiency
Shielding 10 SP 5 Novice
Writing 15 RB 15 Novice
Auristics 20 SP 10 Novice
Meditation 20 SP 20 Novice


Lores

Lore of Human Anatomy
Lore of Eyris


Equipment/Possessions
-Simple Pants
-Simple Shirt
-Simple Undergarments
-Simple sandals
-Simple Cloak
1 Waterskin
1 Backpack which contains:
-Comb (Wood)
-Brush (Wood)
-Soap
-Razor
-Balanced Rations (1 Week’s Worth)
-1 eating knife
-Flint & Steel
100 Gold Mizas



Heirloom: A silver necklace with the index fingers of his mother and father attached to it.


House: none yet

Ledger

Purchase Cost Total
Starting +100 KI 100 KI
No Housing +500 KI 600 KI


Thread List
Hello everybody!
I am new to the server but am excited to learn more and would like any advice i can get.
http://www.mizahar.com/forums/post484302.html#p484302
^^^Character Sheet.^^^
User avatar
Jasper Whitewriter
The seeker of truth.
 
Posts: 10
Words: 7377
Joined roleplay: April 16th, 2016, 12:52 pm
Race: Human
Character sheet

Jasper Whitewriter

Postby Factorum on April 25th, 2016, 12:56 am

There were some issues with your CS, please look it over and PM me with any questions. When the issues have been fixed, please PM me at that point.

Thank you.

1. Plausibility in your backstory. There is nothing saying why your parents was cutting your eyes out of its sockets.. it makes no sense. Khakis didn’t exist in mizahar. That’s a modern reference. The backstory didn’t make a lot of sense. You need to clarify many many parts in the backstory. Backstory is a summation of the history. While the emotion and horror of what he went through comes out a bit, the historical details needed for the CS did not.
2. You must list a location where your living. You can’t live nowhere.
[size=200]
I will be reviewing CS's and checking messages on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you need it checked before these days, reach out to a storyteller and they will know how to get a hold of me. Thank you.
[size]
Factorum
Player
 
Posts: 22
Words: 8797
Joined roleplay: November 22nd, 2015, 4:41 am
Race: Staff account


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