In a Place Far Far Away [Azeran]

by **Islena** on February 6th, 2011, 3:17 pm

50th of Winter, 510
Tag: Azeran

The fish was burning. The smell of the searing meat hung thick in the air, despite the flapping towel the tried to disperse the smoke. Islena stood on her very toes, snapping the fabric back and forth as she tried to persuade the heavy air to head towards the open window and door.

Once she realized it was all futile, and failure was inevitable, Islena covered her mouth and dashed from the house, grabbing up the burning fish as she went. Out in the open air, the rag was abandoned on the doorstep. Piercing blue eyes narrowed as they fell to her ruined dinner. Irrational frustration swept away most other emotions, twisting usually calm features into a rather petulant scowl. With a growl, Islena drew back her arm and flung the fish from her with all her might. Not even waiting for the satisfying plop as the offending food landed in the dirt, the woman spun on her heel and marched back into her house.

"Petching fish. Now what am I supposed to make before he gets home." Something about her tone of voice and the out of character anger gave away the fact that the real problem wasn't the burnt fish. Slamming things around, Islena continued to grumble to herself. She picked up a plate, just so she could set it down somewhere else with a crash. A bag of flour that perched near the sink was her next target. This was hoisted and practically thrown down on the floor in the corner, as she internally deemed it was necessary to get it out of the way now. The bag connected with the stones, and the sack tore. The smoke that still lingered in the air was now mingled with a fine white powder. It took it's time settling, but settle it did. Over everything. When the air cleared, Islena stood there over the sink, small hands gripping the edge with white-knuckled force. Her powder blue, floor length dress was now just covered in white powder, her arms, face and hands covered as well, coating her entirely until she was as white as her hair.

For minutes on end Islena stood over the sink like this, her head bowed down between her shoulders. Sighing repeatedly as she cursed in her native Kontiese, it was all at once that the frustration overwhelmed her. With her head sinking down onto her forearms, her body sagging against the counter as the anger left her, Islena began to cry.

by **Azeran** on February 7th, 2011, 1:49 am

OOCYou forgot the Timestamp

The door to their small home stood wide open. Azeran and Islena had been living together for decades, since before Adrin was born. In all that time, Azeran could only recall very few moments that the door was left open like that. Sometimes Adrin or Islena would be directly outside, thus nullifying the spook of unusual circumstances, but there was none outside to greet him. Azeran's brows furrowed as he hastened his pace, pushing himself, in several lengthy strides up to and through the door.

Azeran was first greeted by the tell tale stench of smoke. It was not wood fire, nor the agonizing nausea of flesh burning (which would just have seemed bizarre), but something different that he knew, but couldn't place his finger on. Azeran squinted his eyes through the misty gray haze inside his own home. It was faint, but the smoke was still remotely there. Instantly, Azeran began to look around. Was something on fire? Was the house going up in flame? Was Islena awake and alive? Azeran found an answer to each of his questions, and was even relieved that they were the way they were. No fire, house safe, Islena safe. Azeran stalked slowly over towards the Konti, who had been gazing downwards, her arms shuddered lightly as she sobbed? Azeran had been living with Islena for decades, even before Adrin's birth, and it wasn't often she cried. She was strong and oddly delicate, but never lost her temper over trivial matters, if she ever lost it over anything. She never caused trouble, never fought Azeran unless she was genuinely concerned about someone's well being (often his own). Azeran was about to reach out and take the small woman, holding her gently when she slid down, almost lying against the sink.

And Islena was filthy, the smoke, and flour, clung to her like Azeran never imagined. The home was a wreck, which it had not been since Adrin was a boy and threw temper tantrums. This sort of damage meant only two things, somebody had come in and vandalized the home, and possibly hurt Islena, or she lost it. Azeran stood there a moment behind the Konti, not his wife, though he had often thought about that possibility, watching her in her moment of weakness. Then he reached down with his powerful blue arms. He picked up Islena and pulled her to his chest, like one might cradle an infant. Azeran held her tightly, refusing to release her until she tried to stand on her own.

No, instead, Azeran lowered himself to the floor, pressing his back against the furniture of the house, and rocked her slowly, gently. If Azeran had a voice that could sing without making birds cry in agony, he would have sung some sort of gentle tune for her. If he had been a great speaker or master of rhetoric, he would mutter something profound and strengthening, but he was not such a thing. Azeran didn't even really know how to comfort someone who was in stress or pain like this. If it were his son, he'd have commanded him to stand up, stop crying, and be the Akalak he was. But this was different, this was Adrin's mother, Azeran's love. She was beautiful and fragile, delicate as a glass vase and as enticing as any goddess ever could be. Azeran was mad for this girl, and seeing her cry enraged him.

"Islena..." Azeran didn't know what to say, what to do, how to act. He wanted to help, but emotions like this didn't fit into a mold he was familiar with. He knew few, most of which were cast away for battle or trained hard for so that he could think clearly and logically. It had its toll on him. "Please, talk to me."

by **Islena** on February 10th, 2011, 5:55 pm

Having known the moment Azeran returned home, Islena was not surprised to find herself quickly and firmly gathered up into his arms. She was also not surprised to find that his emotional range didn’t include dealing with a mental breakdown. So, as she sat shivering and shaking against him, Islena attempted to compose herself. The sobs lessened, as well as the shaking and it was only a few moments of this, the two of them curled together on the kitchen floor, before Islena lifted her face from her hands.

Looking Azeran directly in the eyes, unashamed of her completely uncharacteristic outburst, she began to talk as per his request. " I can't do this anymore." was probably not the best way to start, but the woman didn't seem to notice her poor choice of words as she continued " 'This' being me, here, doing...nothing. I have no purpose. I gave you a son, who has seemingly lost all ability to contact us, and fulfilled my contract. I could be content here, with you, for the rest of our lives.. but I don't want to be content." Speaking with her usual calm, Islena continued to wipe away the tears that still trickled from her eyes. Absently, she was playing with one of the buttons on Azeran's shirt, watching him carefully as she spoke. " Are you to keep me, or am I to be passed along to another contract? If it is the latter, I would like to leave and find.... something. Whatever it is I need. I don't even know what I need. That is what is driving me crazy."

There was a flair of frustration, and as a reaction to the unfamiliar feeling Islena bound to her feet and begun to pace. Such agitation in the woman was a sign in and of it's self of a problem "You have been very kind, and even loving, over the decades. You could have tossed me aside once I bore Adrin, but you didn't. You even let me raise our son.... What do you want of me, Azeran?"

It was a question they both knew had to be answered at some point. It only took Islena forty-some-odd years to build up the courage, or frustration, to ask. But now she stood, still covered in white flour except for where the Akalak's arms had wrapped tight, and the paths on her cheeks cleared away by her tears.

by **Azeran** on February 10th, 2011, 9:55 pm

Azeran watched over Islena like a mother bear watches over her own cubs. Of course the relationship was very different than that of bears, it was more complicated, it was less stable in a way. He was worried about what was wrong, until she spoke first. She couldn't do this anymore. Azeran instinctively held his breath for a moment. Just hearing Islena say that instantly made him think that she meant him. She couldn't be with him anymore. After more than forty years, she couldn't stand him anymore. It had been a long, comfortable time since Azeran last heard Koarhal's voice, even longer since that crazed side of him assumed control, but that comfort was fading quickly.

"This had been coming for a long time Azeran. Don't tell me you didn't see it. There was no real connection between you two. What did you think this was, some sort of Human's children's story? Sugar coated endings, perfect lives, they don't exist Azeran. You are an Akalak, a fighter, a warrior. Not a husband, not even a good father. You found the perfect mate to do the right job, and you failed when it was your turn to make it work. Adrin has abandoned you, and now Islena is doing the same."

Azeran blinked as he stood up. Islena was already standing, pacing, enraged. It was startling to see her like this. Forty something years, and never had he seen this, nothing even close. "I can't pass you on to another. This has become too... good for me." Azeran winced lightly, feeling that what he said made no sense. It did to him, Islena kept him happy, kept Koarhal from reaching out and assuming control. Usually she kept the dark passenger mute, deaf, blind, almost like he wasn't even there. Azeran didn't know how to admit this, but without her, he knew Koarhal would seize control. He'd become a Cerulean.

'Don't pretend you didn't hear her Azeran. She needs something, but that isn't you. She doesn't need you like you think you need her. Let her go, you've got me here. I'll take care of you. I always have.'

Azeran was having difficulty not only understanding Islena, but finding the right answers. He could deal with confrontation easily, but from her, it felt so strange, so different, that he was not only caught off guard, but almost embarrassed, shy, afraid of standing up for the right thing or in the right way. What if he offended her? He probably had in the past, but never would she call him out, perhaps she would ask him about it, but never had he seen her like this. How could he know what to expect? "Well, what is it you want for yourself?" Azeran sighed, knowing this was the best time as any to tell the whole truth. "I haven't treated you as great as you might like to believe, Islena. I'm selfish. I kept you for myself because I couldn't bare the thought of someone else holding you. I'm not supposed to grow attached to someone like this, perhaps maybe a son, but not a woman. Your contract has been fulfilled since Adrin was born. These past forty years, you were technically free of me. All you had to do was walk away." Azeran inhaled deeply, slowly, and exhaled the same. He felt guilty, looked guilty.

"If you want to leave, I won't stop you. It was wrong of me to keep you here like this. I wanted to keep you."

Azeran thought about it though. Adrin had disappeared. Azeran hadn't seen him in at least two seasons, possibly longer. He was nearing his tenth decade of life and his only son was gone. He had no heir to show to Riverfall. He was practically worthless to the Society again. A faint despairing grin worked his way on his face. He needed a mate now more than ever if he was to ever be respected amongst his people now. And here he was, giving her every right and reason to leave him. It wasn't often that this man felt weak, but he was losing the very reason he was raised to believe he lived for. What was worse, he was looking at the only thing that kept him content, and she was no longer content with being content.

"You feel awfully alone, don't you Azeran?"

by **Islena** on February 11th, 2011, 12:34 am

"You didn't answer me, Dear. I don't want to leave you. I have girlish fantasies, even to this day, of a wedding, more children..." The pacing had ceased, and the slender woman stood before the giant blue man. He was practically cowering before her on the floor. The dominance of the relationship was temporarily turned on it's head. Clasping her hands behind her back, Islena continued her stoic gaze

"I want you, want this. Verity is what I lack." Reverting back to her short, clipped sentences, the woman watched the internal demons battling behind Azeran's eyes. Unable to contain herself any longer, Islena stepped forward and knelt between the Akalak's feet, placing her hands on his chest. Slender fingers fiddled with the buttons there again, absently pulling this one, tugging that. Until she found the one she wanted. It fit well in her fingers, and was rough on one edge, smooth on the other. A sharp tug, and the strings holding the button to the fabric snapped.

With her hand dipping into the the pocket of her dress, to deposit her new treasure, Islena turned her face upwards, pinning his gaze with her pale blue eyes. "Adrin.... I think something is happened to him. We must go...look. Make more children, too. I want to raise you high." It seemed that once that anger left her, replaced by slight panic, the woman lost the flow of her second language. No matter, for Azeran was more than used to this, and probably failed to even notice.

"He did no react well to your Kelvic present those years ago. Perhaps he run in anger? Perhaps we come back and I have a child in my womb, and we may build a new house, together. It is high past time for that, yes?" Lips, naturally a dark red that most women had to use stain to achieve, turned up in a small smile. A hopeful smile "I not give up on Adrin. He will be back, one day. We must go on with life, Azeran..... I want to see my home again."

That was shocking. Never speaking of her homeland, and the traumas she had sustained there almost a century ago, Islena knew exactly what kind of effect her asking would have upon her....Azeran. She expected him to sit in quiet shock, and then ask why. Tilting her head to the side, Lena reached one hand forward and gently rested it on his cheek, her thumb rubbing back and forth. She had seen the absolute fear in his eyes as she paced, heard the defeat and pain in his voice as he so carefully told her she was free to go, if he was no longer what she wanted. They had never been awfully romantic, and the small, pale woman was at a loss at how to comfort this man she had known for so long...

With a sigh, as she waited for his response, Islena repositioned herself on Azeran's lap, wrapping her arms around what part of his torso she could reach, hoping that this silent embrace would be enough to banish his fears.

by **Azeran** on February 11th, 2011, 1:09 am

Islena claimed he didn't give his answer, and perhaps he didn't directly say it, but he had attempted to explain it. He was selfish, he wanted her, not just some woman or kelvic that could bare a child. He wanted her, he stalked her until she had even voluntarily become Nakivak. He even begged her to accept him, more like a proposal than the demand to take her as property. Azeran nodded when she said weddings, children. Azeran had thought about it before, many times. Yet, since Adrin vanished, he almost lost hope in rising in statues of Riverfall, until it no longer became any real concern. He had felt disconnected with his people, probably more because of his own self-outcasting than anything, and no longer fought for it. With Adrin gone, he just, stopped caring in a sense. He would always want that, but it was no longer all he wanted, it never was. "Yes I did. I've always wanted you. Since I spent the entire day following you around Riverfall, trying to think of what to say, how to ask."

Azeran continued to peer into Islena's eyes as she fiddled with the button on his shirt. She was the reason he constantly replaced the buttons, constantly got shirts that had them. This little habit of hers, made him nervous at first, but now it was more than just accepted. He believed it was something that calmed her. Perhaps kept her sane from some sort of dark figure in the back of her mind, like he had Koarhal. Koarhal, the voice that had turned silent once again. This was what Azeran was used to, the calm, comforting, coolness. The moment of uncharacteristic rage startled him, only because it was her that did it. Anyone else in the world could have lost it and he would be fine, but Islena, it knocked him off balance.

"I don't care about status now. I do but, very little now. Perhaps there's more to life than being stuck here. Someday, maybe, more children." Azeran smirked as she mentioned Adrin's reaction to that kelvic present he offered him. His son turned it down all right, and it was even likely that it was Azeran himself that pushed his son away. Azeran was a little different of the Akalak norm, his son was only bound to be more so. "Perhaps I did that. Adrin is a grown Akalak though. Young and stronger than his father. He will find us some day. I am proud of him." Azeran was proud. Perhaps not in the way that he produced offspring already, but that he did what he wanted, fought to be who he really was. Azeran liked that spirit, he couldn't hate someone, especially not his son, for being strong enough to stand against tradition.

Azeran was in fact surprised she mentioned her home. On occasion she spoke about Mura, mainly to tell where she was from, but never full stories. Bits and pieces of the people or environment, but never the big picture. Azeran was curious of such a place, who wouldn't be? But not, Islena, the girl that had for so long avoided it, wanted to return. Azeran nodded as he felt her slender arms reach around his thick muscled body, his own powerful arms easily enveloped her against him. "Let's go home." Azeran spoke briefly. He knew it would be difficult to adapt, leaving Riverfall, his friends, warriors he grew up with and trained along side of, but the sound of leaving, be it temporary or permanent, was already growing on him. This place felt like it was swallowing him up. He was always trying to achieve that which he could not. Perhaps it wasn't here that he should be. Maybe not now, maybe not even ever. "Tell me where to go, and we will go."

by **Islena** on February 23rd, 2011, 5:16 am

oocSorry it's so short cutiepie. Just wanted to get it moving somewhere, didn't have much to say.

" I do not think there is anywhere we can go now, Azeran. To where can we travel with all the snow...everywhere? Is it even safe? I am a target, you understand."

With a cool calm now washing over her, Islena began to look at the problem her desire faced them with. Still held tightly against the great Alkalk's form, the Konti woman was able to think a bit more clearly, as if his arms shielded her from any worry or harm.

"If you want more child, Azeran, I want marriage." This was stated suddenly in a very matter of fact tone. "Perhaps this is what we can do while we wait for the spring melt." Islena was more than aware that a marriage between a Akalak and his, for all intents and purposes, slave was almost unheard of. However, she knew what she wanted. And she was going to get what she wanted.

"Big wedding, too. All city involved. Middle of Riverfall, yes..." Once more, she had fallen back into broken speech, deep in thought. Her icy blue eyes had a far away look as she lent forward to rest her forehead against his cheek, mouth twisting to one side as she pondered.

by **Azeran** on February 23rd, 2011, 4:35 pm

Marriage? It seemed like an odd request, almost more out of place than her sudden break down and desire to leave this place. She wasn't content where she was, whether it was Nakivak, or in Riverfall itself. She needed something different, specifically so even. But he can't say he hadn't ever thought of the possibility. Perhaps he had somewhat given up on raising himself in Riverfall via children, but he still had Islena. That's what he wanted from the beginning. "It would be hard to travel home if you have a child in you. Let's us go to your home, and if you still wish marriage, we can do it there. All your sisters to see." Azeran would marry her, he would be happy to. But, because of her uncharacteristic panic, he was now convinced that going home was her primary concern. Perhaps, his offer would make that a bit more easy to digest.

"If want marriage here, and only here, then we will be married here. Just promise me, whatever your choice may be, it is what you really want." Azeran moved to look her in the eyes for a moment. He was deadly serious about that. "Don't be afraid to tell me what you feel. I think, today, I finally learned who you really are." Azeran's thumb slowly stroked Islena's pale flour-smeared cheek as he eventually grinned. He was glad to see this side of her, despite being completely caught off-guard and left without knowing how to react properly.

"I've seen worse than snow in my time. The plains of Cyphrus never see snow, the mountains are the worst of it. We can make it a few days in the cold and we are set for the rest of the travel."