Dancing Across Your Soul

[Alanys Hyacinth]

It may surprise you both, and Gossamer, and anyone else who reads this, that I rarely read over what I write in something like this. I don't edit. I don't care enough to edit, I think, which can be considered unfortunate since truly offended people will decide to kick me off this site. They most likely already have decided, but whatever. Anyone can say what they want just not if it sounds too stupid or goes against any beliefs, morals, organizations, etc. I understand, I truly do.

Anyway, this here shouldn't surprise any of you. I've had multiple discussions with various people about the way I am as it is. I agree fully on the diagnosis. I am a mean person. Not always angry or about to rip someones face off for a ticket in a certain place, just mean. That's what it is, and frankly, I'm not yet bothered enough to change it.

Also, Cayenne, that statement only flits through my mind when people do tell me I'm fat. Do I say it to them? No. It is as rude as calling someone fat in the first place. Why did I write it here? Because I thought speaking my mind was allowed. Sorry.

Go ahead now and kick me off. I really am not in the mood for this.

Oh, before I forget (which I almost did anyway), I don't consider my self discussing mature topics on controversial subjects or however you phrased it. As I said, I don't read over my old scrapbook posts and I rarely edit, so I wouldn't know if I said anything like that.

Now, I'm going to attempt to be polite.

Thank you both for responding to my scrapbook with perfectly acceptable criticism, even if it did cause my already short fuse to actually blow. At least you helped me work out my frustrations from today.

If you wish to remove me from the game, warn me first please. I don't want to be trying to log on to a retired account. That just wouldn't be fun.

Sorry, and thanks once again. It was great while it lasted.

Later.

*Face smack* Before I forget. Happy Thanksgiving.

Additionally, I'm one of the people that can go between being slender and fuller, but I earned some of this from eight months of carrying a developing person in me, and I don't care to lose it. I'll probably need it in the long run.

[Aidara]

It's unfortunate that you don't care enough to think before you speak or type. If this was a personal journal the three of us (I say us three cause we were the ones mentioned above) snuck into your room an stole, that's a different story. Maybe then it would be okay to just write down anything you want.

All of us have our rages. You can read through anyones scrapbook, mine included, and find a rage post. That's not the issue. What I find... Odd is that on a writing based website that's full of a lot of open, talkative, nosy people ( nosy in a good way) who read each others writings and rantings.... You can't jus write something here without thinking and say you don't care.

You consciously logged into this tread and posted hypocritical shit for everyone to read

On the Internet

I don't know if I am the only one that finds that completely ridiculous or not but when I see ignorant shot posted where everyone is free to read and criticize, you have no right to excuses.

You ALWAYS think before you put something on the Internet.


Grow up and find some self respect.

Edit: I said that stuff about mature content because of your little OOC in your signatures. I said controversial topics because of the way you ran face-first into more than one issue that people are passionate or sensitive about, flailing your words around like a wrecking ball and making all kinds of mess for yourself, not because you had anything insightful to say on the subjects.

Edit again: You might want to start thinking before you're speaking if what you said in your post is true and you're going to be a role model within the next few years.

[Alanys Hyacinth]

I meant I don't care enough to edit. I leave it as is because I feel cheap editing someong someone disliked to make myself look better when it's best to let my mistakes show as clear as day. What I write in most cases that I don't think about is in anger as I will detail below. Usually I've noticed my posts make no sense whatsoever when I write out of anger or sheer upset-ness.

I understand your point though.


Oh, before I get removed from play for any reason, this is what I wish to say:

I don't dislike anyone here, at all, nor in real life. I accept that many people dislike me for just being me, but they have fair reason. For all intents and purposes, when Chris and I met we went through on and off stages because of the way I am. I know exactly what I am and how I treat people, and thus why I say sorry a lot. However, there is a difference between what I see as mean and what others see as mean when it comes to my attitude. I seem to be a naturally cruel person with a sense of humour reaching towards the dark and cold. I become depress often, but that's not a cause for most of my bad attitude as I have a method for relieving my depression that doesn't involve medications.

Anyway, back to what I was saying.

I AM a mean person. I can be cruel with my humour. I can be cold and bitter, but in all honesty I do not dislike anyone at all. I try and not pick on ethnicity, shape, phsychology, sexuality, or anything like that. I do find people fine the way they are. Utterly fine. Furries, Bronies *cough cough*, really slender people (Chris is, for a fact, less than half my size). My rants stem from anger. And, oh god can I get angry.

This is where what I define as mean kicks in. When I am angry, I am mean. I can use passive aggressive or direct aggressive to lash out at the source of my frustration or the first person to cross my path who says something I don't like. Why do I get angry? I don't know. Seriously. Many reasons I suppose. Either it's been building up for a while (I'm implosive), or it's just been a crap day and I can't take another thing going wrong.

Today, Cayenne and Aidara became the focus for my anger. In a way, I'm glad for that because I very easily could have ended up venting on Chris or my daughter. This I do not want to do. I am sorry for doing it anyway, but I could have been vicious. I don't like getting angry for this reason. I actually hate it.

Also, I don't think when I speak in something like this. Threads are different as I have to react as though I'm someone else and not myself, but I still get angry.

So, I wanted to apologize to these people who have been the victims of my anger: Taln, Alric Wilmot, Zevlin, Cayenne, Gossamer, and Aidara.

Thank you and good evening for now.

[Alanys Hyacinth]

Oh, I know they're controversial. O-O I read through them just a few minutes back and found them that way.

I like the way you phrased that.

"Flail [my] words around like a wrecking ball."

In all honsety, that's exactly what I do. I remark on topics I shouldn't have any say in. I now remember what sparked that one controversial, hypocritical post I put in this thread.

It was in reference to one in Gossamers thread where she said she was picked on when she was younger for being different from the girls she was grouped with when she was younger (also, if I may say so, those girls shouldn't have been remarking about boyfriends or breasts anyway at that age. It just seems so inapropriate. X-X That's just me, though).

Now, I except the label of bitch. I know no one has called me that (openly at least) online here, but anyone can at any moment. I'd have to agree. It's what I am.

So, Aidara, Cayenne, Gossamer, I'll try and curb my Scrapbook posts to be much more... Ideal, I suppose. I'm not certain of the word I'm seeking. I mean it as in: I'll try and write in a friendlier way, because Aidara has a point.

However, accept that I don't change what I am all the time, and for me change is reluctant in a lot of cases. However, as doing this may improve my life in whole, I should manage to change adequately with enough time.

[Gossamer]

. Response I think we've all heard enough. I think too many people have been offended and views were clearly stated, both here and in chat and even in thread. I've had enough experience with folks on this game to know that once they are one way they stay that way and changes come rarely. It's clear to probably everyone reading this scrapbook that you are ill suited for Mizahar's Community which is a friendly engaging dynamic. I hope you find a different community, one welcoming to your attitude and lifestyle, because this one is no longer open to you. Just in case people actually read this scrap... the following PC's have been uninvited. And any more from this player will be uninvited as well. Riley LaRose Noelle Annassena Tssaaloki Aaeesha Centari Runas Alanys Hyacinth Sable Avila Hoshiko Noelle Asara Willow Tassia Tssavesashessana Inirria T’nika Persia I apologize if anyone has threads that are now disrupted. .