I feel like I'm the last person in the world who shoud talk about this given that prior to my ex the relationships that I've been involved with usually ended badly and the whole situation with my ex is... odd... but I couldn't just sit here and say nothing at all Nexy. So for what it's worth here goes.
Firstly, I think you're right about needing to take time away from relationships. No matter what we might think or say everyone needs time to process the end of something, hell I know I did and to be honest I'm still sort of adjusting and getting over things and it's been just over a year now since we broke up. Sometimes what's needed is space to clear your head, whether that's so you can see yourself better or just quiet time to let yourself heal, or even just time to get used to being on your own again.
Thing is though, if you're going to tear strips off of yourself then really it should be for putting yourself in an unwinnable situation. On the one hand you promise never to talk to someone, on the other you promise that you won't stop talking to her. Sooner or later one of those is going to have to give, they can't exist side by side as you well know. I don't have any answers for you about it all I'm afraid, there aren't any easy answers to a situation like yours.
But, and this isn't meant to sound patronising I promise, you're 19 Nexy. You're going to make mistakes and screw up a bit, hell you'll still be doing that 10 years from now. At least I know I am. We all screw up, that's a given and anyone who expects otherwise needs to focus on reality a little more. Some screw ups are worse than others, and some cause things to happen that we can never make right but you can work on trying to make up for the screws you've made and on not repeating the same screw ups. Sometimes that's all you can do really.
Oh and before I forget, I'm never going to be the one standing over you casting stones in judgement, so if you ever need to talk about something just give me a shout alright? I might not give the best advice, but I serve the best imaginary magical unicorn made cupcakes in the world. Alright they're the only imaginary magical unicorn made cupcakes in the world, but that's not the point!
Firstly, I think you're right about needing to take time away from relationships. No matter what we might think or say everyone needs time to process the end of something, hell I know I did and to be honest I'm still sort of adjusting and getting over things and it's been just over a year now since we broke up. Sometimes what's needed is space to clear your head, whether that's so you can see yourself better or just quiet time to let yourself heal, or even just time to get used to being on your own again.
Thing is though, if you're going to tear strips off of yourself then really it should be for putting yourself in an unwinnable situation. On the one hand you promise never to talk to someone, on the other you promise that you won't stop talking to her. Sooner or later one of those is going to have to give, they can't exist side by side as you well know. I don't have any answers for you about it all I'm afraid, there aren't any easy answers to a situation like yours.
But, and this isn't meant to sound patronising I promise, you're 19 Nexy. You're going to make mistakes and screw up a bit, hell you'll still be doing that 10 years from now. At least I know I am. We all screw up, that's a given and anyone who expects otherwise needs to focus on reality a little more. Some screw ups are worse than others, and some cause things to happen that we can never make right but you can work on trying to make up for the screws you've made and on not repeating the same screw ups. Sometimes that's all you can do really.
Oh and before I forget, I'm never going to be the one standing over you casting stones in judgement, so if you ever need to talk about something just give me a shout alright? I might not give the best advice, but I serve the best imaginary magical unicorn made cupcakes in the world. Alright they're the only imaginary magical unicorn made cupcakes in the world, but that's not the point!