| 7 Winter 511 A.V. -- Night Eyes Underground The morning had been routine, cold sweats and rapid breathing. Each coming of the sun had Valorae in a nervous fit as she wondered if it was the day. The day she’d walk through that door for, perhaps, the last time out into the burning sun for whatever conflict the Blood Pits entailed. Would Syna see her then, lying bloodied and stripped bare only to resemble onto a broken reflection of what she truly was. Valorae kept thinking back to this morning with Eva’s squealing under the bed. Maybe she had a nightmare too, or could she even feel for Valorae. Valorae brought her things and was physically ready to get to work. The pains in her body, that ever present dullness that struck her with sharp stabbing sensations when she moved the wrong way, were another challenge. It was in her abdomen, her arms, her legs, her neck, and her chest. This whole mortal seeming, even in the heightened state of the Ethaefal’s divine reflection, was a burden in comparison to what was. It was all so much to bear. Too much? Maybe… There wasn’t a hesitation to start working. Valorae knew she would be limited today, but she also knew to stay loose. The last thing she’d need is to hurt herself. If she was going to do this right then she’d need to learn all this sword was capable of. It would become an extension of her body, the extra reach to the man’s heart that was so full of intent to hurt her. Or would it be a woman’s? She was preparing herself not to fight. Nothing stopped other women. What a conflict it would be. To be cut by other woman with this same feeling of utter loss would be disturbing. It was cruel enough to know she would be fighting others for the sake of their own lives, but she was starting to give them faces, lives, families… What a disguise, what a mask… Valorae’s face was still as she started in her exercises and thus shielded all hints of her inner turmoil. They wouldn’t see her cry. She’d hide her pain behind faces of disgust, anger, and sickness. It wasn’t a lie of course. She was angry with this world and full of disgust of its people and all it has become. To say she felt sickened was an understatement however. Valorae was full of absolute hatred for the world she was in now. Sunberth - that stain on Mizahar’s east coast where Syna rises over head to welcome the coming of a new day – had been her welcome party back into the world since her fall from the Ukalas. What a first impression, now years after her death! The Mizahar she recalled seemed so much older, full of wild creatures, order and efficiency, the tigers… Sunberth didn’t make sense. Valorae, sword in hand, sat down and reached forward for her toes, her thin waist bending forward with ease as she reached the ends and over. Hold it… She tried to hold onto the memory of what had all happened, how one second she was among friends in Syna’s domain, and the next deep in the water with the dead. In her days as an ethaefal, she had the time to ponder these things. How she got here was a big one. Did she remember the abyss between the lovers’ realms, the gap she fell through, the shattered air, a scar of the divines’ war? Just where she fell through the dimensional gap, and into the ocean was a mystery, save for it was some ‘where’, or some ‘when’ as the Goddess of the Sun washes over the world for the first time at each day. How Syna would forget her was another mystery, or again why she had done so little to recollect her coveted souls. And release. Valorae wiggled her toes before crossing her leg over, her skin so smooth and surreal in appearance. Valorae wondered if it was as strong as the actual stone of this world. She stared at is, wondering, just about other things. She grabbed her knee and reached around stretching her abdomen and legs. With a grunt, the thought of the how came back. If the fact was she was stranded here, and Syna had paid no attention to her yet, then she’d need to find her way back. Sanctuary was too good to give up so easily. Syna would welcome her again. The warm thought came to her. What would it be like again to frolic with the others in that sanctuary? Would she remember any of this? Would she feel the pain still, or remember the shuddering thoughts? Valorae’s stone face started to break, and she exchanged legs. The good thoughts of that world were shadowed now. Everything bad in this world darkened her entire image of what life, and death, had to offer. Would it be so cowardly to walk out when the day comes and be struck dead outright? Would Syna think any less of her? Did she think less of Valorae already, so little as to leave her lost and alone in this dark room? Valorae pushed her body around the most it could, micro tears forming along her abdomen, her teeth grinding, until she could take no more, and then kept still. The pain, something terrible at first, began to dull as well. It was no less than that first pain, but it became something she was used to, like the dull throbbing in her legs as she walked. Maybe that was just part of the experience, adjusting. Valorae wasn’t yet capable of reflecting of how much she had actually changed. The day she’ll be able to step forward into the sun a free woman again, what a transition it would be. |