Life's Logic (Harper)

[Chevalier]

32nd day of Spring, 512AV

Harper's Patron was not a extremely relgious man. Of course he believed in the Gods, and he followed many of their tenants to some degree. He, like many others, was also interested in the newest connection to the dead God Sylir. Still, there were questions he was unable to answer for Harper, and for this reason after a days work aiding and repairing that which had been damaged along side of her fellow Squires and Knights, Harper was instructed to find the Temple of the All Gods before sundown.

It was said that the man of the Temple, Morian Devan, had become even more reverent since the Djed storms. Knowledge of the Gods was always important, but now more than ever were reasons to study diligently and please them. Though at first glance the man was considered distant and aloof, the social barrier was breached often left him talking for bells on end to those willing enough to listen.

When Harper arrived she would find herself not alone within the confines of the Temple, and she would not have to look hard to find Morian. Desperate times had a great many men and women grow closer to those they believed in. The overall tone was a quiet, somber one. Many places within Mizahar were experiencing the terrifying reality of starvation, however Syliras managed to stand fast so far and in fact was preparing to send a caravan of both people and food to their neighbors at Zeltiva.

[Harper]

Harper entered the Temple of the All Gods apprehensively. Everything had been so confusing to her lately. She was honestly confused about what she was actually doing with her life. She had recently joined the Knights, and boy was it a life-changing decision. She worked everyday now, and worked hard. Being a mage-knight, many of her duties revolved around the arcane and she was thankful for that. But she was still just a squire meaning that she did many miscellaneous tasks that she'd rather not do. Knightly-hood aside, the Djed storms left everything in ruin, including Harper's hopes. Everything felt hopeless. She was finding herself overrun with heaps of emotions she didn't want to feel, and she had no way of distancing herself from them. She needed something more--something to feel close to and to feel a reason to serve. She knew of the gods that the Syliran Knights pledged their service to (Sylir, Yahal, etc) but Harper never connected to those gods. She believed in them and respected them, but couldn't put her faith in them like she wanted. She wanted to know of the others gods and goddesses, perhaps finding one that she could pledge herself to. Standing in the middle of the temple by herself, garbed in her mage-knight armor, she spotted a man lurking in the shadows of the temple who fit the description of the man she was instructed to find. She approached him carefully, a sickly expression planted on her face, and spoke: "Excuse me, but are you Morian Devan?" She asked in her raspy voice. "My name is Harper, and I was told by my patron, Ser Klaus Cham, to seek you out because I had questions about the gods that he had no answers for. I'm not even sure what my questions are. I'm looking for something--something that I can relate to and rely on in the times that I have no one else to rely on. I think I need the gods, I just don't know which. I cannot relate to these gods that the other Knights pledge themselves to." Harper paused. She wasn't really sure how to phrase what she was trying to say. "I want a serious god--or goddess. I might almost prefer a goddess, one who would understand my feminine troubles. I want a deity who stands for balance and order; one who understands the way of the world and the cycles and balancing acts it must go through in order to stay right. I..." She stopped again. "I don't know what I'm looking for. I'm sorry for being such a rambling mess."

[Chevalier]

The squire did indeed find the right man soon enough. "Yes, I am." he replied. The sack cloth robe he wore was simple, if a bit faded. Beneath the hood lie his dark hair, and cold green-grey eyes. Despite his unshaven appearance he seemed quite levelheaded and professional, "Hmm..." he commented as she went through her request. When the world became most difficult, there were always many whom wished to place their faith in something, a being of great power. "The path of righteousness is seldom smooth. There are dips, twists, and turns. But beyond this, to find strength and answers within the Gods, you must open your mind to their teachings. Walk with me." he requested of the girl as he stepped just outside the doors of the temple. The cool spring air felt soothing, and the quiet of the night slowly falling upon the city was rather serene.

"Balance...order...understanding..." he repeated the words slowly as he thought, his hands slowly moved to a clasped position behind his back. Order and balance meant a great many things to many different people. "Understand the world...there is no one with a better understanding than Eyris. It is she whom is the source of all knowledge and wisdom. It is through her that all questions may be answered. Indeed, with a strong connection to her, you'd have nothing to fear, as all the worlds uncertainties would become transparent. Then, there is also Gnora, and it is she whom is the best representation of balance among the world."

A few other Goddesses came to Morian's mind, but none which so cleanly filled the request of the squire. "It is through her that one can find and recognize truth and order. But there is a cost to absolute order. Gnora does not have time for the inconsistencies that emotions bring. Just as a chemical reaction has no bias, or a mathematical equation is always the same, she believes that answers can only be found when one forgoes the 'weakness' of the heart. If you wished to gain Eyris' attention, you would need to be the pinnacle of a scholar. Discoveries, experiments, knowledge and the attainment of it is paramount. For Gnora, one of the most important assets is self-control, but also a level of mercilessness. Order is always the greatest truth."

"But..." he turned toward Harper, the hood of his robes hanging a shadow just above the brow of his face, "...tell me squire Harper, what is it that you value? Just how far are you willing to go for your values? A relationship with the Gods is a wonderful thing, but you must be prepared for a future filled with righteousness. And tell me this, what is it that you fear most? Sometimes learning where we are weak is the best way to find a God whom can help us become strong."

[Harper]

Harper nodded and walked with the man to the outside of the temple. The air was calm; Harper enjoyed this time of year: not too hot and not too cold. Harper listened as he explained the goddess Eyris and Gnora. Both sounded so...well, almost exactly what she was looking for. Harper was immediately pleased that she decided to come to the temple. Harper felt something when Morian mentioned Gnora, maybe a small conscious spark. The way he described her, what she represented... It was exactly what Harper felt. Balance, with emotions out of the way, could be achieved. "My values..?" Harper repeated the question aloud, mostly to herself. In all honesty, she had never really taken the time to think about it. Harper was beginning to realize how much she really didn't know about herself, and it was somewhat appalling. She was thoughtful for a moment, biting her lower lip. "I value...well, balance." Harper blinked, not fully aware on how to elaborate. "You see, while I am a Squire for the Knights, I am a mage and experimenter firsthand. My father taught me the art of Voiding, and through that--and other particular... disciplines--I have learned that everything must be balanced. In order to gain something, there must be a price to pay. Matter can't simply be destroyed, only moved or changed. It is the same with energy, even Djed. Everything has a price: a balance. There are natural balancing acts that take place for every decision we make. Even on a grander scale, there is good and evil and there must be a balance between the two, for without evil there is no good. Too much good can become corrupt, just as if there is too much evil. There has to...there has to be a greater balance held." While Harper said these things, she began to realize so much. How out of balance the world really is, and it shocked her in a way she wasn't expecting. "And as for my fears...I fear losing control. As I'm sure you know, magic is a dangerous tool that I have chosen to utilize. I use it because I find it useful, and--if I do say so myself--I have a talent for it. But magic can be tempting at times; I sometimes find myself in a state where I want to use more and more magic, gain more and more power, and it scares me. My biggest fear is myself, and that I, myself, will be come unbalanced and begin using magic in a way that it harms others and myself." Harper stopped talking and looked up at Morian. She really was terrified of herself and what she was capable of.

[Chevalier]

"Ahhh yes, Magic." he mentioned, his head slowly rising and falling in a languid nod, "Sometimes I wonder if magic is meant to be wielded by us, or if it was simply just some kind of...mistake. Magic can be a beautiful thing of course, make no mistake of it, but one can find beauty in the lightning the crosses the sky during a storm. To wield that sort of power takes great control. Of course there is always the risk of giving too much of yourself away to the magic as well."

Although Morian appeared to have no magical talent, he knew the consequences all too well, both from witnessing such spectacles, as short lived as they were, within the city, as well as comforting those that had experienced the horrors of over-giving for the first time. "As I said, Gnora prizes willpower above all else, but with magic it is a bit different. It's not so much the ability to keep oneself from giving away too much, but instead understanding that this over-giving is a part of the balance that is magic. Instead of fearing it, it must be embraced. It is the penalty for exceeding your abilities, the counterweight to all that power. But there is a difference between recklessly going overboard, and knowing that pushing your limits is an inevitability of life. I feel perhaps if you are prepared enough for it, you will be able to cope with the penalty. When you can understand the penalties to all actions in life, and not look upon them with emotional turpitude, I believe you will have the best chance at impressing the Goddess."

Stopping near the small garden just beginning to regrow after the stress of the Djed storm that came with the spring, Morian left Harper with some additional words to take into consideration, "Learn to overcome fear, learn to put aside love, learn to abstain from jealousy or greed. If you can, some might call you cold, but you will more aptly represent balance than anyone else. I could never do it...or at least I don't believe I could. Perhaps though, if your desire is great enough, you will not only gain the attention of the Goddess Gnora, but claim a sliver of her power through a Mark. If you do, your connections with worldly emotions will start to become severed. You will move ever closer to the state of balance."

[Harper]

"I have wondered that myself, as of late..." Harper replied solemnly on Morian's comment about magic. "It can be such a powerful tool--addictive, even--and I wonder if humans are really meant to handle it." Harper listened intently as the man spoke. He made many good points; Harper had never once stopped to consider that over-giving really is just another balancing act, something that must happen in order to keep all magick-users in check. Of course nature would never let beings simply have as much power as they wanted; it would be much too chaotic and reckless. She was automatically interested when Morian mentioned that Gnora may one day Mark her if she worked hard enough. She grabbed him lightly by the arm, something Harper would almost never do. "What do you mean by "mark" me? As in, I may obtain a blessing from the goddess?"

[Chevalier]

Turning his head slightly to look down at the place upon his body where Harper had grasped, the reverent man nodded, glancing back over to her, "Please the gods, and you maybe blessed. Anger the gods, and you may be cursed. Gnora is known to have the power to mark those she deems worthy. These marks are bonds to her. In payment for one's dedication and service, they are allowed a tiny fraction of her power, as well as an innate connection with her. In the beginning, one can start to control their emotions, as well as their bodily sensations like pain with ease. Tales have it that those most connected with the Goddess can begin controlling the emotions and pain of others, bringing balance and neutrality to that which would normally be outside of their ability."

"Could you gain one of her Marks? Of course. But it is like all things. You must present yourself as worthy for her to take notice. As a Squire it is your duty to become a Knight, and bring order to chaos, and distribute justice when faced with unlawfulness. Perhaps if you can do these things with total fairness, without succumbing to your own desires, maybe then you will prove yourself to be the proper balance that Gnora seeks to keep within the world." the man explained, and from the explaination it seemed Harper was in the right field to become noticed by such a Goddess. Things were not always so black and white in the life of a Knight however. There were times when Knights exercised discretion, perhaps allowing a criminal to go free due to a particularly convoluted instance of performing the crime. The age old thief stealing to feed a family was one.