[Sanctuary] A Single Father

[Sama'el Sunsinger]

In the end, Sama'el just nodded. Kavala spoke wisely, and she was a true friend. His family was treating him with such tenderness, but a part of him needed something harder to hit his head against, to challenge him to pick himself up and keep moving rather than to risk wallowing in grief. "I just thought I'd have more time with her," he said again, and then he let it go. At least for now. They were talking necessities now, and that was what he needed. A dog to suckle his son, or at least to provide the milk. Well, it certainly seemed past time for Oriana to send a nursing she-bear to help him properly care for the cub. A dog would have to do. Would Issima have been able to nurse a bear cub? He would never know. For now he walked a little straighter, and went with her toward the kennels in her roundabout way. There was a moment where her generosity threatened to bring tears to his eyes, but he swallowed back the ache in his throat. "Let's introduce them to him. Perhaps one of them will take a shine to him and make the choice for us. Thank you." But after a moment, he knew he had to say something. She was helping him in his time of need. He had to reciprocate, even if she perhaps reacted with anger. "Kavala, you need to rest. I should have said it when we first returned and I noticed it... You have so many responsibilities here and so much has happened. We can help you while we are here. We will help you. But you won't be any good to anyone if you don't take care of yourself." He imagined the Akalak would take any excuse to limit her autonomy, and he worried that someday they would take action against her, threatened by her.

[Kavala]

She nodded. "Well go visit and let them decide." Kavala said, stepping out and leading the way. The Kennels weren't far, but they were completed which was saying something among all the rubble. Kavala had most of the dogs shut up during the day, though she let them run three times in the morning, noon, and night so they could get their exercise. It was just to hard having them roam like they did in the construction. Once it was done, they could be free to roam the facility again and go where they would.

She walked through the doors, the barking grew exponentially and she took the time to greet many of the noses through their confinement until the dull roar had died off completely and she moved among the kennels. Most of the dogs were together based on breed, but several females were apart.


Gissa she let out immediately. The young mother had just weaned her pups and was heavy with milk still, getting more exercise than the others so the milk didn't sour in her bags before the body could reabsorb it and she dried up. Kavala walked further back in the kennels while the Ghost dog roamed around Sama'el, sniffing everything curious. She passed by the Imperial Watchers because while they were huge dogs and easily could aid in the Pavilion's defense, they weren't as motherly as the ghost dogs or affectionate as the Deerstalkers.

She let Delilah out immediately too and the dog greeted Sama'el with affection. She paused at Shari's enclosure, for the dog was heavy with pups and would have them any day, but she didn't need to be traveling. All of her pups were already spoken for as well, so retrieving them from Sama'el would be difficult. Kavala finally let Sunset out, thinking the Silkenas would do well on the grass where they came from originally anyhow. Sunset still had pups and the pups came with her, but Kavala knew they could be weaned any day so it was not an issue to let Sama'el take her. Sunset and her pups were all over the place, joining with the craziness of the other two dogs and it took the whole pack a few moments to settle down.

"You'll need to pick. I don't think I can pick for you. All of them are outstanding. Sunset has pups but they need to be weaned anyhow. Gissa is my favorite and I think she'd be your best choice, but the deerstalker will be a good mother and very defensive. Sunset is a love and might be a good companion for Denen or Leto whomever is left behind when you are out traveling." She added, kneeling down and letting the dogs maul her to spare Sama'el the frenzy of licks and tail wagging. Kavala quietly gathered up the pups, herded them back into their kennel and left the three mothers to wander around sniffing. She waited for them to notice the cub.

[Sama'el Sunsinger]

When she didn't respond to his advice, he ought to have said more, but he was tired and grieving, and she was likely to survive overwork longer than the newborn cub would survive malnutrition. He would say something again later, or urge Ronan to do so. In a sanctuary of healers, he was surprised her own people weren't getting on her for the way she worked. But he let it go for the time being and followed her into the kennels, wondering if Raiha would be about, but he did not see her. All the dogs looked to be healthy and happy, but of course they would be here. How not? Once Kavala started urging the roiling mass of puppy back into their kennel, he knelt down to meet the bitches. With their puppies out of harm's way, they had no reason to get aggressive with him, unless the smell of bear riled one of them, but so far nothing untoward had occurred. The day-old cub's skin showed through its dark, fine hair. Its eyes were shut and blind, but it -- he -- struggled weakly to emerge from the linen wrapping him to Sama'el's belly for warmth and protection. His little noises were pitiful, but endearing. To Sama'el, he looked as much like a dog pup as a bear cub, but he had never seen a cub this young before. He eased the wrapping a bit, and would allow the dogs to investigate, though he was ready to defend his son at a moment's notice. Gissa took the immediate notice, nosing at the cub curiously, whose tiny paws tapped at her nose as he tried to identify this strange new smell and shape. But Delilah was snuffling alongside curiously, and once her pups had been herded away, Sunset came to investigate herself. Now the test, and another moment of sheer terror for the new father: he supported the cub with one hand, and unwrapped the linen with the other, re-wrapping it around his shoulders to keep it off of the ground. Setting the cub on his knee, he pulled his hands back to give them clearer access to him. He tried to beat back the flashes of snarling dogs and snapping teeth, the very worst thing he could imagine right now, but of course it was paranoia. "I suppose it depends on who takes to him," he mumbled, "but Sunset would have to wean them awfully quickly. I don't want him starving in the meantime." He sighed, glancing at the ghost dog, wondering if they would need her special skill, whether Issima's restless shade might haunt the pavilion, though he prayed the Web had led her to Lhex to be reborn in due course, though he supposed he would never meet the new person fashioned out of the old. Denen had carefully cleaned the cub the day before to prevent infection, but Sama'el wondered if perhaps some faint hint of Issima could be smelled by the dogs. Certainly the little cub smelled somewhat of Denen, but mostly of itself and of Sama'el, who had not suffered anyone else to touch him, not yet.

[Kavala]

Kavala smiled at the mixture of caution and concern on Sama'els part. She watched the dogs roaming about and nodded to herself. "Sam, weaning is no big deal. We have all Sunset's puppies spoken for, we usually do with our litters since we only have one per dog once a year, and they are all coming today or tomorrow to pick up their pups. Believe me, she's more than ready to give them up. I don't do a gradual weaning. There's too many dogs here to need that. When its time to go, the bitches let me know its time, and I send a messenger around to the puppies new owners." Kavala said, then hooked a stool over from the lab area of the kennel and dragged it over for her to sit on.

Delilah had already stretched out at Sama'els side and was sniffing up at the cub even though the other two females were already there as well. Sunset leaned against Sama'els other side, wanting a scratch while she investigated the wiggling bundle and Gissa moved in to give it a bath. Anything that did not smell like her or one of her pack was slightly offensive to the ghost dog and needed a good bath to change those facts.

"Scratch Sunset along the back. Don't worry about Gissa getting rough. A dirty cub is no better than a dirty pup in her mind and she has no ill intent planned other than a mother with a rough tongue. " The ghost dog began scrubbing the cubs back side and all of the sudden it began to defecate profusely, both urinating and releasing a foul bowel movement. "Sam, you probably didn't know but most animals that age have to be stimulated to void their bowels." Kavala explained while the mother dog did her work. "A warm cloth wet scrubbed along their rectum will do it. In the wild they are in their nests or dens forever alone, and rather than allow them to soil themselves and lay in it for hours burning their skin and such, the mother says when so they only go when shes around to clean them up. Its the same for kittens, puppies, and bears I see." Kavala said, looking slightly concerned. "You'll need to do this several times a day, upwards of four to eight to make sure his little insides don't get plugged up." She added.

"You know, taking care of him is going to be a big project. You are going to need lots of help. I'm not sure its something I'd want to do and I'm stationary. I'm not sure how good it will be for him to ride to the ends of the earth and back with a Watchman. How are you going to manage it Sama'el?" Kavala asked, cringing at the thought of the little cub riding around in a sling with a horse man that was pretty much always on the move.

Delilah flopped over onto her back, rolling up to get her stomach rubbed while nosing the pup now that Gissa was done watching it. The bitches exchanged looks as if to say to one another "I have no clue what it is?!" and then Gissa turned, seemed to look at something that drifted by, and whined softly flashing her teeth for a moment before relaxing. Sunset just leaned against Sama'el harder, stared up into his eyes, and then leaned forward to sniff the cub, neither excited by it or too bothered by it.

[Sama'el Sunsinger]

Sama'el nodded dumbly about Sunset's pups, and scratched her along the back as Kavala bade him do. The eruption of effluvia made him blink, but Gissa didn't seem bothered and Kavala explained it; another nod. He had been all over the horses as a young boy, and there had been dogs and a cat or two following the pavilion, but none under his specific care. One learned new things all the time. He managed to smile a little. Babies were messy, whether ursine or human. He continued to scratch Sunset, and then Delilah's belly, while Gissa tended to the little bear. Frowning, he went over in his mind the logistics of his not-quite-pavilion and how the care and feeding of his son would take place. He peered at Gissa for a moment, his stomach dropping when he saw her react to something invisible to his eyes, and then he explained. "We will remain here for a while," he said. "For a couple of weeks, at least. The Web is so damaged, nobody will be expecting us to return right away, and I have to take care of my..." They weren't a pavilion, and yet... "My family. If his health is good and he grows stronger, we will move. Slowly at first to see how he takes to it. I was not planning a Strider's gallop home in any case. In Endrykas, we will be more stable again. If he's not ready to move on, we will stay behind for a while and catch up to Endrykas when we can, or I'll make a box for him that one of my Seme can carry. They aren't grown enough yet for a pavilion, so I suppose it's a good thing I don't have one yet. "I will have to speak to the Sayaph, make sure my work keeps me close to Endrykas as much as possible. Denen is a healer, and we know good people in the Amethyst Clan if we need advice. Sandar abides with us too, and she will surely help. Ronan, Leto..." But not Issima. "My friends will help me, and if they do not, then I will leave the Watch in order to do right by him." He had been watching Gissa take care of his cub, and he managed a smile, though it was still sad, tired, and a bit tarnished. Part of him wanted to take all three dogs, accepting one as a gift as it had been offered, and paying for the others. Kavala had to eat, after all. "It seems you were right about Gissa all along."

[Kavala]

Kavala looked thoughtful. "I think your plans will work out very well, Sama'el. It seems to me you've put a lot of time and energy into this way of thinking. I hope all goes well for you. Have you named your son yet? He needs a name. All creatures do." Kavala said thoughtfully, and then leaned forward on her stool and put a hand on Sama'el's shoulder.

"I'm so very tired. You know that. You can tell from looking at me. But when I look at you, Sama'el, I see someone who has a whole lot more reason to be tired than I do. And yet you move forward. You manage to get done what needs to be done though at every corner things come at you and you have to face them. I will relax, like all of us will, when we have the time." She said, bringing up the subject she refused to bring up earlier when he touched on it.

"Sometimes we don't have much to look forward too BUT the future. I know that's been my experience my whole life. I'm dreaming big for the future so that I can enjoy it when its finally here. I've stopped living for the now. I can't anymore. It's too painful. It's also too painful to get attached to people and to things. That's why as much as I love these dogs, I'd be happy for one or more of them to move on with you. Life isn't happy unless life surrounds life. You need animals around you Sama'el. And people. But you can't let them get too close." Kavala blinked, tears spilling down her cheeks suddenly. She hadn't meant to cry, to share so much with him, but she wanted him to understand.

"Nothing is forever here in Cyphrus. Nor in the rest of the world I suspect. People die. They leave. They change. The only solid thing in our lives is ourselves. All the people here at The Sanctuary need someone that isn't going to leave them. The animals are in the same situation. I am tired because I am that person for them. Just as you, being a leader and maybe someday an Ankal, will have to be that person for everyone else around you too. It's lonely work, Sama'el. You have no one to rely on. Not your friends. Not your family. Not even your Gods. You can only rely on yourself. Too many people count on you. And you can't need something or love something too much, because if you get destroyed because of it, then moreso than yourself, others suffer. But you would change none of it, I suspect. Nor would I. It gives me purpose to be that which I need in my life for others. And someday someone will come along and maybe if I'm lucky be that for me. I haven't had a lot of luck lately though, so I'm not hoping too hard nor holding my breath. Because in the end, life is what it is. And I want to build something lasting and important." She said firmly, softly, in her Konti way that would forever hold her separate from her Drykas Culture.

"Be the difference to this cub. And too others. And don't ever expect a reward. Let their pleasure and happiness be your reward." Kavala said softly. She swiped at the tears on her cheek, then leaned down to borrow Sunset's lovingness to cuddle the big Silkena.

[Sama'el Sunsinger]

And there were always the cousins from the Sunkiss pavilion, he thought to himself. He missed Eldon, who had gone to Syliras to find himself among the Knights or something, but surely one or another of the young women might enjoy some time spent outside the pavilion, meeting new people ... helping to raise a bear in a manner the Mother of Bears would find appropriate. He didn't mention that, though, not now; there were other things that needed saying. He nodded to Kavala's wisdom. It hadn't occurred to him until now that he might look as spare and wan to her eyes as she did to his. His worry was that their strength would fail, and fail to the point where there was no chance at recovery. Part of him was almost offended at the implication that she could not depend on him, nor he upon her, but she had a point. She must stay here. He must always travel, whether alone in defense of his entire people, or with his friends and family in order to build and maintain the pavilion of his ancestors. And so he nodded again, accepting this truth. They could be of aid and succor to each other at times, and those were a blessing, but one could not rely upon another. Not when one was a would-be Ankal and the other the mistress of the Sanctuary. They were both spun out like flies upon their own spiderwebs, trapped. But that was the way of the world. He looked down at the cub who was busily nursing from Gissa. He laughed quietly, wearily, feeling too young to feel this old. "He will be my primary concern. Emrarre." There, a name. Now he was real. There was the growl of a bear in it, and an old name from his pavilion. He could remember those who had gone before him.

[Kavala]

Having had a bit of rest, Kavala nodded at Sam's choice of names, smiled, and rose from her stool. She had things that Sam might need and it was best to teach him quickly. Kavala moved to the area of the kennels where they stored their supplies and removed a couple of skins and two glass bottles with nipples made from small squirrel stomachs. She laid the kit down on the floor, sat down beside Delilah, and asked the Deerstalker to sit. The bitch did, and Kavala gently reached under her, rubbed a nipple or two, and then held a baby bottle in one hand and began to milk the dog. She milked it just like a cow, grasping the dogs teat higher up against her stomach and sliding her two fingers down forcing milk out.

The dog, heavy with the stuff, wagged her tail as the pressure on her chest was released. Kavala was quick about it too, rapidly emptying one nipple and moving to the next until the bottle was half full. Then she carefully thanked Deliliah and showed Sam how to carefully reattach the 'nipple' to the bottle. After asking, she picked up the pup, then, taking the cub in one hand, she lifted it up so it was elevated at its head. She fiddled with the nipple until it leaked milk which she swirled around the 'nipple' of the bottle, then delicately inserted it into the cubs mouth. He cried once, twitched, then after a moment began pulling greedily at the bottle.

Kavala handed the whole thing over to Sama'el, cub and bottle both, and then rose again to find a bag for Sam. She stacked two more bottles in the bag(wrapping them carefully), a half dozen spare nipples, and the cords use to attach them to the glass bottles. Then she carefully wrote out a formula for Sam in case something happened to the dogs or he was without any source of food for his son.

Substitute Puppy Milk

1 cup raw goats/cows/mares milk - goats best!
3 egg yokes - no whites
2 tbs honey or sugar syrup from corn

*Use in an emergency but switch back to canine as quickly as possible. This will get you by for upwards of five or seven days. Do not use longer than ten days.

She tucked the recipe into the bag with the bottles, and then threw in some cloths, towels, and got a mini first aid kit together from the larger supplies the kennel had to offer. She threw in raw hides, not knowing if the cub would need to chew on things as his teeth came in. She added jars of antiseptic cream, dried herbs labeled with things for calming diarrhea, stopping vomiting, and one jar of powdered charcoal in case he swallowed something poisonous. She also added a bottle of liquid that when dropped into his mouth (or anyone's mouth for that matter) would make them vomit. She labeled everything carefully so that Sam would know what it was for and if it could be used on humans and horses as well. Bandages were added. Then finally a few dried raisin and cranberry bars which she thought the bearcub might like as treats when he finally had teeth.

The whole thing she sealed up into a nice little yvas bag, and set it down beside Sama'el. "Every new mother needs a diaper bag. Here's yours. It has a few things to help." She said, not explaining further what was within it.

[Sama'el Sunsinger]

Sama'el watched attentively. As a boy, one of his responsibilities had been to milk the zibri, and he had milked the nanny goat before when Denen and Jyn were busy. The dog was only different in general, but the anatomy seemed much the same. All the while he scratched the brindled ghost dog who had been most eager to take in his son. Gissa. She would be treated as well as any member of the family. He also gave silent thanks to Oriana that there was a way to save the cub despite his mother's death. Emrarre. Issima. But she was gone, her bones being picked clean by scavenger and element, her soul to wander the Web until such time as Lhex saw fit to weave her back into a fleshly form. When she was done with the demonstration, he nodded to her and accepted his son and the bottle. Standing to follow her, the dogs continued to whip about his legs, grinning their dog grins and loving in that unconditional way dogs did. There were so many gifts she was giving, and he was moved by each one, large and small. There was no way he could ever thank her, but he knew they gave back and forth; he had given her the magical means to better protect and build her sanctuary, and she was giving him the means to support his son and redeem himself. There would always be gifts going back and forth between them. It was a good thing. He knew he would have to ask Leto to read him the strips of paper, and then let Denen and Sandar know what was there, as well. Sama'el couldn't see letting go of Emrarre for very long at all, but eventually he would have to let his rag-tag family be a family and not just a collection of people connected through him. A pavilion needed to be a Web, not a wagon wheel. "Thank you," he said, accepting her bag of gifts. He tried to fill those inadequate words with all the feeling and respect he had for her.

[Kavala]

Kavala had no idea Sama'el did not know how to read. She grew up in a Pavilion where her father had loved books, though he hadn't had many of them. Most all of them were written in common, but it was a language that the Denusks could read well. He had always told them the Sapphires were magic and that there was magic in books. Kavala's mother, before she'd died, had felt the same way, and often kept a journal much like Kavala's own. But there was a time to dwell on the past later. Now, there was only a future to think of.

"Sam, is there anything else at all I can do for you?" She asked quietly, as she stroked the ghostbane and then let a large male Silkena out of his kennel to come over and nose the other dogs. He scrubbed at Sunset's ear and sat down with her as Kavala came to crouch before Sama'el. Her boots were leather, encasing her ankles and calves. Her whole form creaked as she bent, the leather she wore carefully sheathing her body. "If there's anything at all, just tell me. You know I want to help." She said, glancing at the bearcub and then back at Sama'el. How had all of this come to pass? How had even a tenth of this been loaded on the Sunsinger's shoulders?

The Konti stood poised, watching him, watching the cub, unsure what else she could do. Kavala couldn't fight Sama'el's battles for him. But she could certainly arm him as best as she could.