Desires And Decisions (Van)

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Not found on any map, Endrykas is a large migrating tent city wherein the horseclans of Cyphrus gather to trade and exchange information. [Lore]

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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Khiara on May 19th, 2010, 12:41 pm

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81th Day of Spring, Evening

Evenings seemed to be Khiara's favourite time in Endrykas. The days were just to searingly hot for her to bear, and the night time was to busy. In the evenings, the cooler breezes blew in and the people were returning to their pavilions or in some cases, heading off to work. Either way, it was a good time for thinking, and a good time for talking. Taking her time to visit Vsenri, she noticed he had begun to take to the weather, having lost a lot of his winter coat and retaining a shorter, smoother coat. He seemed more relaxed too, and enjoyed frolicking with the mares in the coral.

Now she found herself outside a familiar pavilion. One she hadn't visited since the wedding reception. One she in-fact usually avoided. But this evening, things needed to be discussed, alone. She needed to talk to Vanator. Dressed in her simple riding dress she so often favoured now, she tucked her loose hair behind her ears. It was getting longer now, pushing past her shoulders to brush her clavicle. She would need to cut it eventually, but for now, it was fine as it was. Self consciously, she brushed the dress smooth, her stomach churning with the familiar excitement and frustration of seeing the drykas. He was both something she wanted, something she needed, and something she couldn't have. It was almost unbearable, the many emotions she had around himself and Pygmy...but the vantha knew she had to keep it to herself. Reaching up, she scratched on the tent flap, calling out softly.

"Vanator? It's Khiara."
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Last edited by Khiara on June 1st, 2010, 11:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Vanator on May 20th, 2010, 11:23 am

Van had laid down after dinner, drifting off for a short nap. He had awakened some time ago, but had remained still. His muscles were relaxed, and he laid quietly as he listened to the life around him transition from the work of the day to the evening's activities. Evening meal dishes being washed, songs being sung, hunters coming in from the field.

The Drykas' mind wandered in the pensive stillness of his tent, a cool breeze drifting in from the open windows, causing the flaps to shift slightly. His heart was in a twist as he contemplated the relationships he had sown over the season. After so long without being able to give his heart to anyone, he now found more than one wonderful soul he wished to share it with.

The light scratch on the pavilion's main entrance drew his attention, more so the hushed words that he heard. Khiara. His pulsed bumped slightly at the sound of her voice. He quickly rose, drew a tunic over his bare chest and moved to open the tent flap.

Vanator greeted the Vantha with a warm smile and invited her in. "Come on in, but Pygmy isn't here, she already headed off to the Trough."
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Khiara on May 20th, 2010, 11:45 am

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As always, Khiara was taken in by the golden glow of the drykas. From his tanned skin, to his loose hair. It was like he'd soaked in the very sunlight itself during the day, and reflected it for others when it disappeared for the night. Returning his warm smile with her own conflicted one, she nodded.

"Thank you, but I'm not here to see Pygmy. In fact, its a good thing she's not here." Entering his pavilion, the vantha looked around. She could pick out Pygmy's little nest, and the womanly touches around the place that were distinctly kelvic. It only made things harder, but then again easier in some ways. Moving to the centre of the room, she turned to face him, tucking her hair behind her ear. Knowing that both her companions had begun to pick up on the shift in her eye colour, Khiara kept her gaze on her hands as she spoke.

"I need to talk to you. I can't talk to Pygmy because she always manages to talk me out of it...but....I don't know." Sighing, she shook her head.

"Goddess, why do things have to be so complicated!" It was a statement of frustration. Lifting her head, she kept her shifting hued eyes off the tanned man, crossing her arms and staring into the distance. There were so many things she wanted to say, but couldn't. And things she needed to say, but didn't want to. Keeping her eyes turned away, she spoke softly.

"I don't know if its a good idea for me to stay in Endrykas any more."
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Vanator on May 20th, 2010, 4:04 pm

Vanator let Khiara in, noting her hesitant mood already. She had a habit of continually tucking her hair behind her ears when she was nervous. She was averting her eyes, hiding the telltale hues of her irises.

Khiara's presence filled the small room, Vanator keenly aware of everything about her. He had never ceased to enjoy looking at her, even if it stirred regrets. She was an exotic palette of living color, from her soft olive skin to the shimmering voilet and yellow shimmering highlights in her raven hair, to the deep purple and gold swirls in her eyes. Her beauty was not Drykas, but, like Pygmy, he had found her soft round features pleasing nevertheless. Even her singsong accent was something he looked forward to hearing.

With an almost perceptible shake of his head, the Drykas banished his indulgence and focused on the nervous girl. He could see she was struggling with something, and stood patiently as Khiara stared away from him, searching for her words.

When she finally spoke, he sighed and his heart sunk a bit. Van took a few steps towards the Vantha. He was a bit puzzled. Khiara had finally opened up, had allowed her self to enjoy life. At the reception she was a totally free woman. He wondered if maybe it was too much for her.

Van folded his arms across his chest. "Khiara, why would you say that, I thought you were enjoying Endrykas?"
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Khiara on May 21st, 2010, 9:30 am

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The tone of his voice, the sound of his sigh...it was enough to make her heart skip a beat. Closing her eyes with a pained expression, Khiara sighed, before running her hands through her hair.

"I am, Endrykas is an amazing place. I haven't been this happy in a long time. Everything is so alive and different, I think I'm even starting to enjoy the heat." Fidgeting with her hands, eyes on them instead of the man in front of her, the vantha continued.

"Before this place, before meeting Pygmy I was lost. I didn't have a purpose anymore, or an intent. I only moved forward, hoping I could escape the thing I loved the most. But now," Her voice caught in her throat and the woman laughed softly, looking at the ceiling. Taking a moment, she sighed heavily.

"I'd forgotten what it was to be alive. That kelvic has to be some sort of gift from the Goddess...whatever she touches turns to magic it seems. And in meeting Pygmy, I got to meet you." Finally, the vantha looked at him. Her words should have been happy and her eyes a brilliant violet. Instead, they were almost lavender, with slow gold ripples every now and again. Tears visibly threatened to come as she allowed herself to drown in the depth of his gaze.

"You've shown me there is light at the end of this path, that its okay for me to let myself open up again. I could have given into this ache, many times over, if I had left before meeting you. Now, I have reason to go on. Reason to stop wandering and start living again. I can't say how thankful I am, how much it means to me," Stopping, she took a deep breath, before continuing.

"I have feelings when I am around you, that I haven't felt since Eliac was lost. Those weeks ago, when we talked...there are other people in this situation that I care about...and owe everything." She was jumbling things together, attempting to rationalise things and embarrassed by her words. If Vanator ever had thoughts about her, it was probably now a fair indication she'd had thoughts about him too. Shaking her head, Khiara looked at him.

"I don't want to go, I really don't. For once, I am happy where I am. But if I stay, I know someone will get hurt." It was true. If she stood idly by whilst Pygmy and Vanator developed a relationship, it was going to slowly kill her. But if she stepped on her friends toes just to satisfy her own feelings, the devastation of their friendship would be like a knife to her heart. Khiara hadn't factored in any other women, or even Vanator himself, in her justification. It was hard enough making the decision this way. Still, even as she said the words, she wanted to take them back. Again, she had to question why the Goddess would lead her to Vanantor, knowing she couldn't have him. Fate was a cruel mistress.
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Vanator on May 21st, 2010, 12:49 pm

The Drykas listened to Khiara's words, every sentence causing the twist in the pit of his stomach to increase, the tug at his heart to grow stronger. He knew the pain she had struggled with. Though the Vantha and Vanator never discussed it after their first talk, he had watched her, gauging how Khiara was adjusting, how she was managing her grief.

The horseman nodded and smiled as she spoke of Pygmy. The sprite, brash Kelvic had a way about her that made you love life a little more when she was around. After the reception a few days before, Vanator had realized just how much Pygmy had meant to him.

When Khiara finally turned her eyes to him, he saw their subdued lavender hue, the same color they took on when they first discussed their mutual sufferings. She poured out more of her heart, words that revealed feelings he too had harbored. A huge hole opened in his chest as truth was revealed, and his own suppressed emotions rose to the surface.

Vanator stood, staring at Khiara's eyes, which glistening with restrained tears. The Drykas silently cursed his situation. His heart was torn in shreds, his affections pulled in every direction. He knew Pygmy had feelings for him, feelings he now knew he shared for her. Kashik, the epitome of a fine Drykas woman, had shown up three days ago, and Hex, a dear friend whose friendship had grown to mean so much more, was going to arrive in Endrykas three days from then. And now, he had to admit to himself the love he had for Khiara. Though there had been an intentional distance between them, Van shared something closer with the Vantha that the others could not.

He immediately felt guilty for so many things. He felt ashamed that he had cursed his life. Indeed, he was blessed among Drykas to have the humble honor of the affections of these magnificent women. He was ashamed that he had not spoken to any of them of the others. He was ashamed that he wanted to take Khiara into his arms at that moment and kiss her again, to do what he had longed for and knew he could not.

Of course Khiara was right. It would crush Pygmy, and he could not stand to break the girl's heart. And it would be difficult for Van if Khiara remained, their unresolved affections always present no matter who he may choose to be with.

Vanator tilted his head back and sucked in a deep breath of evening air, smoothing his hair back with both hands in frustration. He was physically struggling to prevent himself from drawing closer to the dark Vanthan, he wanted put his arm around her, but feared he would not stop there. He wished above all things that Kavala was there, he needed his sister. She had always been there when he needed her.

"Khiara," his voice was pained and thick with emotion, "...I do not want you to leave. I...I have those feelings too, towards you. I share a closeness with you, you understand a part of me that few others have understood." He gave a little ground, taking a step towards the Vantha. "But I see too the complications, and they are more than you know." Van dropped his head, a flush of shame rising to his bronzed cheeks. His arms unfolded and his hands fumbled as he looked down at them.

"Did you know Pygmy and I were going to Riverfall when summer comes? I had hoped you would go too. But now..."
He trailed off, unable to finish his thought, unwilling to accept a separation from Khiara.
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Khiara on May 21st, 2010, 1:18 pm

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Listening to him speak about his own feelings, hearing that she wasn't just imagining what she felt, only made things harder. She felt her heart thump faster as he stepped closer, both welcoming and hating the movement. There was an air of tension between them, the room felt almost heavy from it. Emotions sparked between them, overshadowed by ethics and undisclosed problems. She saw the colour in his cheeks and hoped she hadn't embarrassed the drykas with all this talk. If she was to leave, she wanted to know it was on good terms.

As he spoke of travel in the summer, Khiara listened in silence, her eyes on his hands as much as his own. There was a pause, too long a pause when he finished talking, before the vantha shifted her weight, closing the distance slowly between them.

"I came here to talk to you because I knew you could convince Pygmy to let me go, yet it seems...letting go is a lot harder than I expected. Vanator...is Riverfall very far?" So close to him, she wished for just a day things could be different. It was like seeing water across a blazing fire, and you were dying of thirst. Still looking down, she reached out to brush his hands lightly with her fingertips, tentatively coming into contact with his warm skin. Intertwining her fingers ever so gently between his, the foreigner lifted her gaze to look at his face. Her voice said she wanted to come, but the look in her eyes was still unsure if it was a good idea. Her breathing seemed loud to her ears, as she waited for him to speak.
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Vanator on May 21st, 2010, 2:09 pm

Khiara moved towards him, only a shifting really, but the two were drawing slowly closer like the magnetic gray rocks found occasionally in the grasslands. Like the violet-eyed woman, Vanator both anticipated and and feared the closeness.

When Khiara's cool hand touched his, a spike raced through Van's every nerve, and he loosened his fingers to welcome hers between them. The Vantha's stunning eyes lifted to his, and Van realized with his heart pounding, that he could not have convinced Pygmy to let Khiara leave Endrykas, because, just like Pygmy, Vanator could not let the northerner go.

Vanator replied to Khiara. "Riverfall is not far from here, really. I am going to visit my sisters, whom I have not seen in more than two years. We were going to leave in a few days, when the city broke down to move to the summer site." He squeezed her hand gently, his free hand taking hold of the woman's other hand. "If you are going to move on, Riverfall is a good place to start. Come with us Khiara." He made his plea without a mental debate. He did not want to think rationally now. Right or wrong, he just knew at that moment that he did not want to let go of Khiara.
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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Khiara on May 22nd, 2010, 12:33 am

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Khiara ran a thumb gently against his hand, accepting the other hand with no hesitation. They were warmer than hers, and again the vantha was reminded just how far she had come. She'd travelled nearly the whole world to find Vanator without even realising she needed to, only to discover that wasn't the way her story would go. Endrykas was not where she was going to end.

"Did I ever tell you about the Goddess Morwen? She is everything vantha are. Creation, in Her image, brought down from the sky on Morwen's Lights and guided by Her for three seasons. In our blood, flows the legacy of the Goddess, and She shows us as Her children by infusing us with Her Aurora. After the three seasons had passed, Morwen walked from Avanthal into the world, trailing Winter behind her. And every year, in the Spring, she returns to her throne to guide us and protect us for another three seasons." Pausing thoughtfully, Khiara looked distant. A faint humourless smile touched her lips.

"I felt like Queen Morwen had walked my footsteps many times over before me. It gave me strength at the hardest of times. Maybe, like Her, I will return to Avanthal in the new year." The smile faded, and she focused on his features, picking up on the lighter flecks of gold in his rich brown eyes.

"I will come with you, and Pygmy to Riverfall. After that, well..." The vantha left it at that, unwilling to set anything in stone. Even though she said she would stay, the dark haired girl felt like it was goodbye. Perhaps it was, in a way. Vanator was everything she wanted, but he was not for her. It felt like that fateful day, standing with Eliac on the frozen shore, taking in as much of him as she could before he left - knowing he would not return. Fighting back the tears again, Khiara blinked to clear her vision.

"It's not fair," She whispered through the lump in her throat. Whether she meant it wasn't fair to Pygmy, or it wasn't fair to herself...it wasn't clear. Eyebrows furrowed, the young woman looked down at their hands, her hair falling from behind her ear. This wasn't how she wanted things to end - even though they hadn't started. If they were going to travel together, she needed to steel herself and forget these feelings she harboured. But, Goddess, she didn't want to.

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Desires And Decisions (Van)

Postby Vanator on May 24th, 2010, 11:54 am

Vanator relished the light grasp Khiara had on his hands, the small gentle caress of her thumb seemed as large as an embrace. It was a simple physical contact, but seemed like a long anticipated sip of cool water from a summer stream you longed to jump into. But the Drykas knew he could not satisfy himself in this water.

As Khiara revealed the tale of the Goddess Morwen and the Vantha people, it only painted her in a more exotic light, as if the dark-haired woman had ridden out of some fireside tale. Vanator could see the disappointment in Khiara's lovely moon-shaped face, the turmoil in her subdued lavender eyes. It was a frustration that he shared, and he wrestled with the meaning of her words, and the confusion of his own affections.

There was an unvoiced sigh of relief when Khiara agreed to go to Riverfall, quickly followed by a flutter in Van's stomach. The resolution in her glistening gaze confirmed what he knew was necessary. The feelings the Vantha and the Drykas felt for one another had to be denied and shut away. There would be no other way they could travel together, and with Pygmy.

Pygmy. Van's heart was pierced again. The Kelvic would be disappointed if she ever knew, devastated if anything ever happened between himself and Khiara. He felt a pang of guilt, having fallen for Pygmy's best friend while his affections for the kelvic were blossoming as well. There was a pained acknowledgment in his eyes when the Vantha whispered of the unfairness of it all, unsure if he was the victim or the perpetrator of the injustice.

Vanator released Khiara's hands and wrapped his arms around her waist, lightly kissing her forehead. He tasted the slight saltiness of the ever present sheen of sweat on the northerner's skin, and he savored it. Pulling her head gently against his shoulder, Van inhaled deeply of the scent of her hair. His heart aching, Van whispered a simple reply. "It is unfair dear."

The horseman held onto the Vantha girl, not willing to let her go. Once he did, he knew things had to be different. It would be difficult, maybe too difficult.
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