Completed [Sultros Blades] Shortcomings (Hadyn)

[Orion Michaels]

Orion couldn't find anything to say as she spoke. On she rambled, nervous and unsure. There was an air that needed cleared between them, but just how to succeed there was a mystery. It seemed they were doomed to ineffectual conversation for the rest of their days. The child would end up so well formed and lacking all forms of emotional problems at this rate.

A brief look of hopelessness brought a frown to his lips. Was she going to ask him something worldshaking and she just didn't know how to get the words out? He wanted to shake her, tell her to get her composure, and realize that she'd already told him she was having their child. There was little more she could do, except for if it actually turned out to be triplets. He might break a hole in the wall getting out of the smithy if that were the case. Maybe...

Still she struggled, and Orion didn't know what to do. If she'd kept him here for small talk, well, he wasn't interested. It was one thing for him to apologize. It couldn't be expected that he change everything about himself in a handful of days. So she moved into a bigger place? That was nice. It would be good for her and the kid, he supposed. He was going to try and engage her in the conversation, despite his resistance to such, but then she gave him an out again. Go for the door, she offered.

It was almost irritating.

"Listen, Hadyn. I'm here, and I'm willing to talk, so let's talk. I can't imagine you'd have wanted me here to chat about the weather. Is there something wrong? Is there something regarding the child?" Biting his lower lip momentarily, Orion considered his next question with some trepidation. He would have to ask it anyways. "Or is it something with us? Or none of this? All of this? I..I think it would be best if we just..try and get everything out there, you know?"

[Hadyn Skellig]

He'd called her out. A good thing too. They both had a knack for clumsy conversation but she was turning it into a sport with the way she carried on. Hadyn stopped rearranging the coals, silent after he finished his statement. Though she was somewhat surprised he hadn't ran out she was also moderately impressed. Perhaps he could change. Putting the fire poker back on the rack the woman stared at the furnace. She was glad he'd confronted her. Sometimes all she need was a good kick to get back on track. Taking a breath she turned to him, ready to speak. No more stammering. Just talk.

"Nothin's wrong with the baby," she assured him with a small smile. "Least not s'far as I can tell. Nothin' with us. I don't... I don't know what to say around you." Admittance is the first step. "Sometimes it seems like nothin' has changed between us and other times it's seems like everythin' has. Orion, I don't want to push you away an' we both know I can't manage a relationship that involves more than drinkin' and petchin'. I want you to be a part of this child's life as much as you want to be. I'll do everythin' I can to make this work."

Hadyn paused. Make this work? Sounded like she was setting up to make a couple out of them. Brow furrowed she rethought her statement before speaking again.

"For the baby, I mean. Words don't come easily to me on this matter, case y'haven't noticed." She smiled, running a hand through her hair. Then she stopped. She was rambling again. A thought came to her though she had no idea how it'd play out. But it was better than yammering on and making it worse. Closing her lips she hesitated first before crossing the floor to where he sat. The last time she got this close she'd shocked both of them with her impulsiveness. This time there was intention in her gaze.

Hadyn came to a stop before Orion, close enough that he need only reach a few inches to touch her. Without a word she swallowed and looked at his hand before nodding downward to her abdomen. She wasn't going to reach for his hand and guide it there as she'd witnessed a young mother do with her husband in the market. It was too intimate for two people who were not in love. But she did flash him a small encouraging smile.

If he chose to place his hand on the swell of her belly he'd feel the gentle kick of his child, moving within her. The baby had been constantly active since Orion arrived. Hadyn wasn't given to believe it had anything to do with any stupid notion of the fetus sensing its father. More likely it was agitated by the tension and uneasiness of its mother. Waiting patiently, one hand on her lower back the other resting on the back of her neck the brunette watched him with an apprehensive gaze. She had no idea how he would react and it was nerve-wracking to offer him the opportunity to experience this tiny moment of her pregnancy - especially when he could easily be repulsed or upset that she'd overstepped her bounds.

[Orion Michaels]

Some bit of relief washed over his face when she told him there were no complications with the child. For all of these dramatics, for all of the arguing and fighting and anger everything, if the worst happened, he didn't know how he'd have handled it. It had taken everything he had in order to get the courage to make the attempt he had. Bad news would have been crushing.

"I'm glad to hear that. That the baby is well, not that you don't know what to say, that is." Yep. They were completely doomed. "What is there to have changed, though, Hadyn? I'm pretty sure our hot and cold encounters kind of define everything about us. I'd say we're right on course." He gave a half smile, but that dissipated quickly when she spoke of 'making it work', as though it was about more than the kid. He couldn't even begin to hid the uncomfortable feelings that swept over him, and he hid the relief no better when she added an addendum to her previous statement. "Yeah, the baby, of course."

Then she was advancing on him, standing before him, offering him a chance to feel and connect with their unborn child. It was uncomfortably intimate, considering it was an intimate moment which had them in this situation in the first place. It seemed too much like the actions of a couple, of two people in love; they were just...what the petch were they? Two idiots..that's what.

He took a deep breath and reached out gingerly, touching his fingers to the enlarged belly, recoiling instantly when the child kicked. He turned his head to hide the smile that spread across his lips. It was a quite a unique feeling, something he'd given up hope of experiencing. "By the gods...was that..?" It was too much, and they just needed to talk and really try and figure out, well, anything. It had been both the most amazing and most terrifying thing he'd ever felt.

The smile disappeared, Orion unsure of how to say what he was thinking. He didn't want to offend; enough of that had occurred between them. He never..well..he only occasionally set out to intentionally offend, and this wasn't one of those cases. They just had to be upfront, otherwise they'd keep running face first into walls, and it just wasn't worth that. "Listen, maybe we should just stop trying to beat around the bush here. I feel like..I feel like the thing that both of us are struggling with is..well...how the petch do we take care of this kid with separate lives? That's the million miza question, right? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe that's not what you're thinking about? Gods know it's on my mind."

[Hadyn Skellig]

Hadyn's expression faltered when he pulled his hand back and turned away. That was not the reaction she expected. For all their trials and nerves regarding the situation they put each other in Hadyn had nothing but love for the child within her. His child. And she hoped he felt the same. But it seemed he was... repulsed? No. But his response to feeling the baby kick was significantly less pleased. This was his child. Disappointment wrote itself plainly over her face though she felt more hurt than anything else. He began speaking, obviously uncomfortable with her closeness.

Retreating backward several steps while he talked the brunette placed a hand on her belly. Whatever Orion's reaction, she loved the child. And feeling it move and kick almost made all the bullshyke they put each other through worth it. Almost. When the squire fell silent once more Hadyn was already at the stool she'd recently vacated. It took too much energy to get herself back on the seat and left her too winded to speak properly so instead she stood rather stiffly beside it.

"Hit the nail on the head," she replied with an acknowledging nod. "I don't have an answer. We have a little time to consider it. Not much... but some. And you have Em'ly. I don't care if you dislike or even despise me, though I hope you don't. It's not like folks haven't done this alone before. I don't know about you but least half of my childhood mates had only one parent. Sure they turned out alright."

Hadyn actually had no idea if those children turned out alright. But her present concern was reassuring Orion. He seemed overly distraught about this and while she couldn't blame him, she was in a significantly easier position. She was the child's mother. There was no question that she would care and raise it. The question was how involved was Orion planning to be. They certainly weren't obtaining Cheva's mark any time soon. And it was laughable to think she'd grant it to them just for the sake of a child. Leaning a hand against the table she took a bit of weight off her feet, brown eyes on his face.

"Do you want to be there when it's born?" so much for easing into that one. But the blunt manner that pervaded their first meeting was back and unabashed. "You're a doctor afterall. But do you want to? I don't intend to pressure you to do anythin' you're not interested in doin'. But if you took off into the night and rode all the way to the other end of Mizahar I could and would do this alone. But you are here and I have absolute faith that whatever happens between us, you will love this child."

Actually, she had some reservations based on his reaction to feeling the baby kick. That was not encouraging to her but she chose to believe the newness and recent tenseness between them elicited that reaction. He was doing the best he could with the person he was. This was exacting on him in ways he likely never imagined. And he wasn't looking to take home any awards for father of the season. But in some small unromantic way Hadyn loved him as the father of her child - though she could neither admit it to him or herself. It was natural and uninfluenced by anything other than his clear attempt to do the right thing for their offspring.

[Orion Michaels]

He noticed her reaction to his own, and identified it as an incorrect assertion. She'd mistaken his attempt to hide emotion for displeasure with the feeling of their child's movement. It wasn't that at all, but he couldn't be upset that she'd think that response possible from him. He was not exactly a master of expressing his innermost feelings, so for him to recoil so visibly, well it would give anyone that impression. He couldn't bring himself to correct her; he'd done too much as it was. It didn't stop the guilty feelings from washing over his countenance as she backed away from him, visibly affected by her perception of his feelings.

"How much time do we have..I mean..I don't know, Hadyn. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do. You'll be living..wherever you're living these days, and I'll be in the dorms for the forseeable future. At best I'm going to be this asshole popping in and out of you and the kid's life. Is that what you want? Is that what they'll want?" He sighed, looking down at his feet as he sorted his thoughts and feelings. He'd broached this subject their last conversation, though it had been much more heated at the time. He still wasn't sure what was best. "I'll do what I can for them, but I won't be the presence in their life the kid deserves. I'm.. I'm already leaving Emily with a nanny, seeing her every couple of days if I can get the free time. It's no wonder she hates me..not that you really care about that." He was rambling, and about a kid that wasn't hers. Great job, jackass. "Sorry about that. It's just, yeah, they might turn out alright, but it's not fair. Guess he'll..she'll learn a hard lesson early, huh?"

The thoughts were running unfiltered at this point, but he stopped speaking abruptly, his ranting and raving a little overboard. He just had so many thoughts, concerns, and questions that he didn't know how to express.

She asked a question that halted all that worry.

He nearly choked on his own tongue, surprised by how out of the blue the question came. Blue eyes widened slightly as he looked up at her with no small amount of surprise. Be there? For the birth? What a concept that was. "I..how...I mean..I suppose I should be, right?" Orion was always reliable for a vote of confidence. "That came out well, huh?" He chuckled softly, his features easing he did so. There was no point in getting worked up over such a thing, but he couldn't shake something.

"Hadyn, why do you keep trying to give me an out? The mixed signals are killing me. Do you really want me there? Or would you rather me petch off? I can't say I'd be surprised if you had someone else more . . . skilled, no, capable for the job. I don't know." Nervous, he brought a hand up to his cheek, sliding it along his skin up to run it through his coarse hair. "I guess with Emily's mom, she was trying to get everything she could from me. It's kinda my only point of reference."

[Hadyn Skellig]

It was almost comical - the horribly deficient way in which Orion and Hadyn interacted with each other in a serious situation. But she had no time to dwell on the humor, his question receiving a shrug. How long? Not long. According to Shiress the woman was ready to drop the kid any time this season. With each day Hadyn was sure it was going to happen. Even today she'd experienced contraction like pains only to have them dissipate, leaving her with an agonizing ache in her hip.

"End of the season," she replied without much vigor. "As for duckin' in and out of the child's life I don't know. I imagine he or she will be happy t'have you for that time. I'm sure they'll tire of me rather fast."

She cracked a small smile. Wouldn't it be nice to go back to the way things were. The pithy banter and coy glances. The games of lust and attraction. Now they were left to be real adults. To deal with the parts of life that were far from glamorous or seductive. How the mighty have fallen. But then he said something. His daughter was living with a nanny. An eyebrow raised as she shifted her weight to the other foot. Wysar's teeth she was uncomfortable. But he kept speaking. A frown twitched at her lips when he commented on her having another man. Really, Orion? With a breath she chose not to remark on it. He didn't know her - that was painfully clear. Instead she looked down at the ground and spoke, raising her eyes to him slowly.

"Orion, I know this is none of m'business. But since you mentioned it. Would it be easier if Em'ly lived with... me?"

No, no, no, Hadyn, what are you doing?!

"Y'certainly wouldn't have to pay me. An' I could use the experience given I'm as unfamiliar with children as you are with smithing. I have the new apartment. She'd have her own space. Can't promise she'll like me. But I'll soon be driven from Sultros altogether to wallow the rest of my days in the apartment like an' invalid." Though her tone was light hearted there was a note of bitterness. Hadyn despised being told what she could and could not do, especially in regard to her health and body. "Wouldn't be forever. But... haps that'll take some of the burden off you? An' if she dislikes you that much, maybe she and I'll get on alright."

Hadyn smiled at this, hoping he wouldn't take it personally. While the words came out as though she'd planned on asking him it truly came out of nowhere. But... it wasn't the worst idea she'd ever had. Beside, he made exactly no coins as a squire. Great for single life but a nightmare for a parent. She could ease that burden for him. But there was something else to address.

"As for giving you an out. I suppose I give it because I'd want one. I don't want you to ever feel entrapped by me. It's not right an' I'm not lookin' to -"

Hadyn paused, brow furrowed as she placed a hand on her lower back. The damn ache was back but this time it was electrifying her entire left leg. Grasping quickly for the side of the table she leaned against it bending over to lift the leg, bringing her knee close to her belly to alleviate the pressure. But it only served to strike the nerve further. With a gasp her leg dropped and with her her balance, the touch of her foot on the ground sending ricocheting fire up and down her leg. She wobbled precariously on one foot.

"Petch me," she rasped as held onto the table for dear life. Orion faded away as she gritted her teeth, eyes closed. She just had to wait for it to pass, praying she wouldn't fall like she did that morning. Her foot was tipped down, toes pressed gingerly to the ground like a dancer. Her breathing was stressed as she tried to calm her body. Isn't that was Shiress said? Breathe? Be calm? Fat lot of good that did.

[Orion Michaels]

So they didn't really have much time at all in order to get their lives together. The child was upon them, sooner rather than later. It was somewhat frustrating the more he thought on it. He tried to hide it, tried to push it aside. Nothing would be gained by snapping now. He wasn't afforded the full time which was most people's right in this situation. About one full season from when she informed him a new soul would come into the world. How much more could he truly lament over this? It was all too fast, but nothing could be done at this point. They'd made that choice over two seasons ago.

 "Oh, I don't doubt that, Hadyn. Have to deal with either of us for any extended period of time? This child is screwed. I bet they'll have no problem expressing  themselves civilly." He returned her smile, again coming back to the self depreciating roots they were both so familiar with. Her looks and that blunt charm she employed had done their part in gettingthe two drunkards close, if just for a night. If they could stay there, at least for the time being, maybe they could get through this somehow.

But then she went and said something insane.

He knew it was just a kind offer. He knew she was trying to be nice. All it succeeded in doing was setting off every alarm he was working so hard to suppress. Why watch Emily? Doing a personal favor for a man who was a flight risk? Have his daughter so he can't go? Make him indebted to you? He could hardly believe she'd do this out of the goodness of her heart. It was too much like commitment. It was too family like, and it made him more uncomfortable than he could express, though the shock on his face and nervous eye movements didn't do much to conceal his feelings. He swallowed loudly, clenching his fists and releasing them in his usual routine to try and control his emotions. Not that they ever really worked.

 She kept talking, but he kept thinking. He kept beating up himself mentally for the fool he'd been in coming here. Was she trying to subtly, or not so subtly tie their lives closer than they already were? Hadn't he made himself clear on that? If not he was ready to let her know just what he thought ofher petching idea. "Now listen here - " 

His sharp tone cut out as he saw the first grimace of pain, frozen
momentarily in place by the unexpected movement. If he was feeling more cruel, more wicked, perhaps he could have continued berating her, informing her just how wrong she was; could something more really be expected of him? Instead, he sighed and closed the distance between them. It would be humiliating for them both, but the sooner it would pass, the sooner theycould both move on. The former doctor wrapped his arms around Hadyn, removing the burden of supporting herself alone.

"Stay calm," he began, his voice much more controlled than moments before. "Use me, don't try and stand on your own. You'll be fine, I won't let you fall. Where does it hurt? I can try and help."

Hot and cold, as always. Mixed signals. He couldn't pretend to be interested in anything more than they already had, but he couldn't just leave her there in pain. Regardless of what became of the two, like or loathe, she was the mother of a child he was responsible for. "Keep breathing . . . long deep breaths."

[Hadyn Skellig]

Get your fucking hands off me! was the immediate response that came to mind when she felt Orion's arms around her, supporting her. While she managed to suppress such a hostile reply her body did stiffen when he embraced her. She hissed as another strike of pain originated from her base of her spine, causing her to relent and let him hold her. Gritting her teeth she was loathe to concede his calming words and physical presence did help. She despised they way they were. The way they could throw each other to the dogs only to come back and bandage the wounds. It was an exercise in madness.

"Thank you," she murmured as she concentrated on measured breathing as he instructed. At least she wasn't so immature with her ire that she denied his advice. He had been a doctor once. The sting in her hip abated slowly, the warmth of his body doing her more good that she was willing to acknowledge. His words repeated themselves in her mind.

I won't let you fall

The petch you won't, she thought bitterly. But she swallowed it down. That kind of anger wasn't healthy for her or the baby. She would have to believe him in this case. He certainly didn't have to come to her aid. In fact she was uncomfortably surprised with how quickly he'd moved to help. It was probably the doctor in him.

"Just help me sit on the bench," she suggested in a hushed tone. "Please." What she really wanted was to sit on the floor but the thought requiring Orion to help her stand again was too troublesome. When these problems arose and she was alone the floor was the safest place, though getting up was a bitch. She could lean against a wall and breathe herself through the agonizingly sharp pain before attempting to resume regular activity. The night prior she'd actually slept on the floor, so unable to find comfort in bed without something against her back.

With his assistance Hadyn eased herself down on the long bench, exhaling as she allowed him to guide her. She put one hand instinctively on her belly, careful to keep it from bumping against the table. When she was seated the woman stretched one leg out, trying to keep her breathing from becoming too shallow. It was awful, the pinched nerves that resulted from this stage of pregnancy. It was by far the worst symptom and the most debilitating. Once settled on the bench, Hadyn reached around and massaged her lower back gently without looking at him.

"You might be better off sittin' there," she nodded down the length of the same bench she shared. "I may need to move again."

Hadyn despised the helplessness he'd just witnessed. Especially when it seemed he was ready to lay into her about something. Was it her explanation about giving him an out? or perhaps her offer to house Emily. She couldn't be certain, so fickle was Orion Michaels about the oddest things. Kneading her fingers into the overly fatigued muscles of her lower back the brunette took another breath.

"Thank you," she murmured again at length. "I hate those ones. Come up so suddenly. Can't say for certain but they may be worse than the actual delivery."

A small smile crept across her lips but she still avoided his face. She'd needed him and he'd been there. It made her uneasy. But the pregnancy had brought about emotions that were alien to her - like the feeling of comfort and safety when he'd held her. The sense of love, on whatever level, and security.

Don't be stupid, she chastised herself harshly. He doesn't give a toss about you. It's the baby. He's a damn doctor for Syna's sake. Don't expect anything from the petcher.

Breathing slowly the woman refused to entertain the ridiculous thoughts cycling through her mind. It was exhausting, fighting with herself. She wasn't even entirely sure it was her she was fighting with or the baby. After a chime she ran a hand over her belly as the pain reduced itself to a dull ache. She knew from experience not to get up. That would only end with her on the floor howling in pain. So she sat, denying herself the consideration of the man's intentions. But as the moments slipped past Hadyn felt the tug of something on her tongue. Words that needed to be spoken, suppressed in the past by her fury or frustration.

"Look Orion," she began, her voice strained with a clear attempt to remain in control. "We have to face the facts. We're just fooling ourselves if we think we can interact like this. This is a failure if we keep on in this direction." Hadyn shifted ever so gingerly to look at him, eyes glassy. "We need to figure out how t'trust each other. That's what it all comes down to. You've got to trust that I'm not tryin' to pull you into some commitment with me. I've said it before but I'm not asking you to love me or give me all your time. You're going to have to learn to trust me on this otherwise we'll end up this way every time. And I... I've got to trust that you won't turn around an' leave after you said you'd be there for the baby. I s'ppose that's why I give you an' out. So you don't hurt me. Ruin the expectations you've created."

Hadyn paused. This was like pulling teeth. Each word was carefully selected and she was having a visibly rough time saying it all to him.

"This," she ran her hand along her belly again absentmindedly. "Has forced me to address how I communicate with people. Especially you. And I'm... I'm afraid, Orion." Her voice dropped to a murmured whisper, loud enough for him to hear but heavy with uncertainty. "I'm afraid if I trust you enough to stand by your word I'll get hurt. But I can't be afraid of that. Not when there's another life involved. I have to trust you. Do you... do you see how frightening that is? I've spent a majority of my life makin' it impossible to do the very thing I must do now. For the baby."

Once she started she couldn't stop. Her hormones were turning her into an unfiltered well of emotion. Yet even as she spoke these tortuously painful words she knew it had to be said. Had to be confronted. Every barrier they'd come across thus far, whether it was self imposed or not, was about trust. They just refused to discuss it, pushing it down and pretending they were upset about imaginary problems. Looking down the brown eyed woman exhaled slowly.

"You are a mystery to me. I never know how you're going to react to something. But I'm askin' you just to consider what I've said. I think... I want us to get past this back and forth. Not just for the baby but us. Whatever we are. Because we are something. We're havin' this child together. We're not two strangers anymore." The woman took another breath, forcing herself to look at him again. "I'm not Emily's mother. I'm not lookin' to petch you over. You are my son or daughter's father, Orion. And I don't want to go on like this."

A tear slid from the corner of one eye, though her voice remained somewhat steady. The pain in her back had returned and she was willing to believe the tear was a result of the strained muscles. She didn't bother to wipe it away not did she make a big show of it. Moistening her lips she looked away from him, staring straight ahead with no small amount of determined control. She'd laid a lot on him. Quite frankly she knew better than to expect him to sit there and take it. If she turned then to see him getting up and walking out the door she wouldn't be shocked. Neither would she be surprised if he began to chastise her for such an emotional display and deny every word. Instead Hadyn sat their quietly waiting him to have his reaction out, prepared to deal with whatever the man did or said next.

[Orion Michaels]

Orion rolled his eyes when the weaponsmith tensed at his touch. I'm just trying to help you, woman. This was what the were. Two people incapable of interacting normally. If it wasn't Orion's emotions shifting unpredictably, it was Hadyn's. They were the worst for each other and it would just be a waiting game until one of the burned the other two much. Despite anyone's efforts, they both would have their breaking point, and unless something changed, they'd arrive sooner rather than later.

He grunted in reply to her thanks. He didn't want it, it wasn't seeking it, even if it was the socially polite thing to do. Weren't they past pleasantries and forced emotion? There was no sense in her dealing with pain whilst trying to speak with his stupid ass. It was an inconvenience to them both, and the way she reacted so negative to him helping only served to piss him off more, even though he couldn't have expected anything else. She wanted him around and yet she despised him so. What a torment it must have been for her to have Orion Michaels show her any decency.

He raised no argument to moving her onto the bench. if it would get the increasingly awkward interaction done for, he'd have put on make up and a dress, stood in the middle of the the theater square, and put on a lovely little dancing performance. That would have held less frustration and embarrassment than their every exchange.

After checking to make sure she was stable in her position, Orion took a few steps to put a more bearable distance between them and then slid onto the bench, listening to her explain the situation. He may not have the knowledge of a midwife, but he did know how the human body worked. His years of study under his father ensured that much. He cracked no smile at her joke on labor pains. They were walking down an all too familiar road, the same path they'd walked a million times. Controlled words would dissolve into chaos. Good intentions devolved into bitterness and anger. Convenient that she would choose to address that very fact.

"Figure out how to trust each other?" He repeated that specific line from what she said. How..curious. If there were two people with bigger issues trusting in Syliras, Orion hadn't met them. "You don't just trust someone. I know I don't. You've got no reason to believe I'll stick around. Only bond we've got is this kid. I don't have fucking idea if that's gonna be enough." He took a deep breath, feeling himself start saying the same sort of things that had caused him to walk out on her the previous time. He'd heard it referred to as 'the miracle of birth', but he was skeptical a child had the power to turn two adults into people they just weren't.

Hadyn was...well..Orion didn't know her. He really didn't. She'd thought them close enough that she could analyze him, he'd disagreed loudly, putting it mildly, and he thought that would be the end of things. How wrong could one man be? She'd roared back into his life with a kid on the way, and nothing had been the same since.

Orion, on the other hand, was very familiar with his faults. His sin was his refusal to confront his shortcomings. He had a temper, one which could remain hidden during the most stressful of times or spark with the slightest of offense. He was so fearful of relying on anyone that he would ruin every relationship he had. He was so fearful of someone he relied on leaving that he'd almost always be steps ahead laying down traps to ruin whatever they had.

So what did they have?

Other than a child tying them forever together in its existence, Orion viewed the answer to that question as one word. Nothing. There was nothing but that child between them.

One thing.

One precious life.

One soul who knew nothing of the stupidities of man.

That was enough for Orion.

"Hadyn, I don't really care if you trust me. You can spend the rest of your days recoiling from shadows, waiting for me to disappear. I'm surprised you'd give a petch face like me that power over you." Orion had grasped the edge of the bench, fingers digging into the underneath as he stared at the floor of the shop. His eyes, his tongue, this throat, they were all so very dry at this point. At his wits end, barely hanging on, Orion just had to say his part before something send him screaming off the edge. "So yeah, you're right. We do have this child. Let's keep it there. Let's..Let's start it there. I think that's the only shot we've got. Even the illusion of something else, something more will send us clawing at each other's throats. I've made my pledge to make sure this child is cared for, whether by me or by something in my stead when I'm unable. Same goes for Emily, but she's my responsibility, my burden, my daughter." Orion looked over to Hadyn, paying no mind to her tear. She knew it was there. If she hadn't wanted him to notice it, she'd have done something about it.

There was only foolishness in being shameful now.

"I . . I bare no responsibility for you outside of anything related directly to this child, and you should feel the same. Worry not for me beyond me being a father for a newborn. If you, if I, if we try and do anything more than that, we're going to fail us all. For two folks as petched up as we are, I'd consider it quite the success if we can accomplish that much." Orion stood from the bench, moving a few paces to the counter where the short sword he'd feared earlier lay. Grasping it in his hand, he raised it to admire the work she'd put in. "Clearly," he began, taking a few swings at the air,"You're more than stubborn enough to handle it. Here you are in the middle of the night making swords, after all."

[Hadyn Skellig]

She listened in silence. He was, she begrudgingly had to admit, correct. It was nonsense to think they could trust each other now. She reproached herself for even mentioning it. But they had to start somewhere. It seemed he would rather be anywhere on Mizahar here speaking to her. And for that she gave him immense credit. Hadyn looked down at her belly as he moved and walked away. How did one show appreciation to someone who spurned it? how did anyone close to her do it?

He commented on her being at the forge so late, the sound of a bladed weapon slicing through the air interrupting his words. She turned to look at him, brown eyes weary. He exhausted her. They exhausted each other. How much would she love to tell him to petch off and take care of his own problems? but that showed absolutely zero maturity or growth on her part. And he'd certainly taken the first step by even showing up here. With a sigh she turned her eyes to the smoldering coals nearby, speaking in a tone jaded.

"Got to remain useful," she murmured with a knitting of dark brows, speaking more to herself than him. "I don't know what else there is to say between the two of us. It was good of you to come here, Orion. Truly. An' I appreciate you staying to talk it out. Can't say I would've if I were you."

Hadyn was tired of their interactions. They were predictable. It was exhausting. Surely the squire felt the same. She wouldn't argue his assessment. He was right and all she wanted to do now was move forward. With some effort, the woman heaved herself to her feet, the ache in her hip still present but quieted for the moment. She moved with the sensibility of someone who'd made enough mistakes to warrant careful grace. A hand on her lower back, the brunette turned to face him fully, fatigue written plainly on her face.

"Baby's kicking again," she commented softly, her other hand grasping the edge of the table. She rested her head to the side against one shoulder, looking on at the coals as a smile passed across her lips. Despite all the aggravation and upset the baby moving within her was near impossible to ignore. If anything it made her realize their constantly intense interaction was doing nothing positive for the child. The baby's movements softened her expression, the weariness fading as she ran a hand along the side of her abdomen where the fetus kicked. Her smile was small but warm, absentminded as if she were alone in the forge. Picking her head up the woman returned her attention to Orion, reminded that he was still there.

"You're welcome to feel," she extended, watching him. Hadyn decided she wouldn't be offended if he said no. Nothing about him would bother her for now. It was too much stress. Too much keep up with. Whatever the man did Hadyn would just go with it. Nothing was worth the sake of their child's health. The previously tense air between them dissipated. She exuded calm patience, awaiting his reaction. This is what Shiress had been trying to tell her this whole time. Nothing between them was ever worth screwing up her responsibility as a mother.