Cynnya's Musings

[Cynnya]

91st day of Fall, 513 AV Dear Diary, No...that sounds too cliche. I guess I could just start writing, right? The most important thing is the date so I know what happened on each day and I can look back. Or so the rest of the world will know. Not that it matters I guess. I suppose this will help my penmanship at the very least. Anyway, I'm writing down my thoughts and experiences in the hopes that it will matter to someone, somewhere when my short life is over. I've only been alive 3 years and I feel like so much of my life has passed me by... Again, I digress. Everything has been such a blur lately. I'm just trying to get a grip on it. It being life, I guess. Everything revolves around the bond. I wake up and all I feel is emptiness, a longing for something that I can't fulfill with food or drink. Being around people doesn't help, I just get more anxious with more people and the emptiness almost seems to ache. I'm a solitary creature after all, as most big cats tend to be. I don't want to become someone I'm not by bonding with someone but yet every day I find myself looking around every corner to see if it happens. There's a mix of anxiety and anticipation with every new person I meet and I just want the uncertainty to end. Well, nothing of importance happened today. I didn't find my bondmate, obviously, I haven't started classes yet and I've been looking for a job but I have been unsuccessful. That's all for now I guess. -Cynnya { made by ally of thesintax and rpgd, please leave this credit intact }